Ahsoka by @ekjohnston
(Part 2)
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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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@thirdbroomstick
Ahsoka by @ekjohnston
(Part 2)
i think the near-extinction of people making fun, deep and/or unique interactive text-based browser games, projects and stories is catastrophic to the internet. i'm talking pre-itch.io era, nothing against it.
there are a lot of fun ones listed here and here but for the most part, they were made years ago and are now a dying breed. i get why. there's no money in it. factoring in the cost of web hosting and servers, it probably costs money. it's just sad that it's a dying art form.
anyway, here's some of my favorite browser-based interactive projects and games, if you're into that kind of thing. 90% of them are on the lists that i linked above.
A Better World - create an alternate history timeline
Alter Ego - abandonware birth-to-death life simulator game
Seedship - text-based game about colonizing a new planet
Sandboxels or ThisIsSand - free-falling sand physics games
Little Alchemy 2 - combine various elements to make new ones
Infinite Craft - kind of the same as Little Alchemy
ZenGM - simulate sports
Tamajoji - browser-based tamagotchi
IFDB - interactive fiction database (text adventure games)
Written Realms - more text adventure games with a user interface
The Cafe & Diner - mystery game
The New Campaign Trail - US presidential campaign game
Money Simulator - simulate financial decisions
Genesis - text-based adventure/fantasy game
Level 13 - text-based science fiction adventure game
Miniconomy - player driven economy game
Checkbox Olympics - games involving clicking checkboxes
BrantSteele.net - game show and Hunger Games simulators
Murder Games - fight to the death simulator by Orteil
Cookie Clicker - different but felt weird not including it. by Orteil.
if you're ever thinking about making a niche project that only a select number of individuals will be nerdy enough to enjoy, keep in mind i've been playing some of these games off and on for 20~ years (Alter Ego, for example). quite literally a lifetime of replayability.
It's my 12 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳
Hi I have another stupid insane plot idea
OKAY SO. Inspiring facts of canon:
We all remember that Dooku is like 20yrs older than Palpatine, yes? (I have been informed that is is not actually common knowledge as I thought. Dooku's born 102bby and Palps is 84bby. Please do not comment only to express shock at the ages.)
We also all know that Dooku is one of the most prolific masters (not counting Yoda) in terms of Number Of Apprentices Taught, which means that he really enjoys teaching/guiding younger people into becoming the best version of themselves (even if that's sometimes the best Sith possible, like Ventress), despite some Notable failures.
Situation: Dooku time-travels to his own twenties or thirties. Could be physical (Knight Dooku meets The Count) or mental (Dooku wakes up with sixty years of memories), but he's There.
Important Factor: Palpatine is YOUNG. Like, a teenager at MOST.
Plot Shape: Dooku has a New Project. He is going to harass this very young politician/actual child into not being a shitheel, and drag his current apprentice (probably Rael) into helping.
If Palps is sixteen or something, he's already in politics, because Naboo. If Palps is like... four, then Dooku might just Pick Him Up as a new Initiate for the Temple.
Bonus points: Skeevy Sheev is also a time-traveler, specifically of the mental variety, and loathes that Dooku is exerting his age like this. It's Undignified! The man is trying to mentor him! SIDIOUS IS MEANT TO BE THE MASTER, NOT THIS JEDI REJECT.
I just need Dooku's "I can fix him" mentoring energy to smack into teenybopper Sheev at full force.
#YES #qui gon got his unstoppable urge to pick up pathetic lifeforms from somewhere #and you know where that is? #from dooku's unstoppable urge to mentor anything that breathes in his direction (other than anakin) #wait actually #the disaster lineage is just like #dooku seeing a problem: i can teach that! #qui gon seeing a problem: i can adopt that! #obi wan seeing a problem: i can seduce that! #anakin seeing a problem: i can kill that!
(via @count-doodoo)
not to be boring but I like when evil characters…. well not become “redeemed,” more like they become domesticated. its just delightful when like an evil monstrous little bastard man goes from committing murder to getting mad someone misplaced their costco card or left the jar of mayo on the counter all day.
I just needed to preserve these tags. For reasons.
peak character development ye
—Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident the art of losing's not too hard to master though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
-- 'One Art' by Elizabeth Bishop
you ever think about how after everything Ahsoka told Vader "I'm not leaving you" and it wasn't enough
You work as tech support for ancient supernatural beings who are trying to adapt to the modern world. It’s a frustrating - and at times dangerous - job, but at least your clients pay well.
“My Great Destroyer, Consumer of Lands, Harbinger of the Deep Seas,” you say trying to keep the exasperation from your voice, “you need to be connected to the internet to see your email.”
“{}@&_@&%(#(&@__!*_”
“Yes. Can you move the mouse to the lower right side of the screen? There should be some little bars that will tell you if you are connected to the wi-fi.”
“&%)!^*^$%^!_%_$}{|”
“No my Great and Terrible the wi-fi is not a rival god from the desert lands, it’s just the technology that let’s you see your email.”
“!*&){}|@*#”
“Good, that means you are connected to the internet. Now if you can open your browser, Mozilla Firefox, Google Chrome, or even Microsoft Edge.”
“!@^&)(&@!&&&@}|”
You mute yourself so you can swear. “Yes, you can use Internet Explorer to access your AOL email account. If I may offer a suggestion?”
“$%^&*@”
“It will be easier in the long run, I promise. But Microsoft stopped supporting Internet Explorer a long time ago, and AOL is barely a company anymore. If you will let me walk you through some steps we can get you a modern web browser and a brand new email-”
“&^$}”
“Yes, with all of your old email.”
—-
Five hours of your life later, you’ve got the deep sea eldritch god set up with Firefox and a new email with forwarding from it’s old email. Just when you start to think that this job isn’t remotely worth it, a small crab-like creature crawls across your desk. (you can’t in good conscious call it a crab because it somehow has both too many eyes, legs, and pincers, and not enough of the same. yet your brain interprets the being as “crab”)
It’s about the size of a coffee mug and it holds something up for you, shaking one of it’s many claws at you.
You take the small thing, and crab scuttles away to where ever it came from.
The small thing in your palm seems to be a tiny treasure chest, the kind of thing that you’d put in a goldfish bowl. It feels wet and the kind of slimy something gets from being covered in seaweed.
You put it down on your desk just in time for it to rapidly expand, cracking a support on your desk and covering you in sea water.
Before you can get mad about it the chest opens revealing a small horde of gold, jewels, and a bottle of what you have to assume is pirate rum.
“Oh! Cool!” one of your coworkers say as they pop their head up over the cubicle wall. “I wish I got pirate booty once in a while.”
“Why, what did Thyrien, Emissary of the Sun, give you for helping them recover their steam library?” you ask.
“A sense of peace and calm about my life and place in the world.”
“Oh sounds nice.”
“It is. They also gave me this ceremonial headdress.” You coworker disappears for a moment and puts on a giant headdress that appears to be made from gold and platinum and has several truly giant diamonds all over it.
“Wow,” you say.
“Yeah, I’m thinking I should wear this to the next company mixer.”
here’s the thing about adulthood-
you will go for like three months with nothing happening and you’re bored as hell and then in the span of two weeks eight different things happen at once - some fantastic and some shitty and some just plain bonkers - and you’re just running around like a chicken with your head cut off and no clue what the fuck is going on
I know the other Mandalorian kids like 'why can't we come on missions it's not fair why does Grogu get to go he's only a baby' and their parents are like 'because Grogu's dad is a fucking idiot'
i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake
fabulous
i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.
#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY
it’s not “am I good enough to do it?”, it’s “do I like it enough to be bad at it?”
Headcanon you will pry from my cold dead hands: Because the Jedi Temple was built over thousands of years, it’s massive and there are huge portions of it that periodically go unused, so much so that younglings (and many young Padawans) of every generation make a game out of “who can go the deepest into the Temple, using only the Force as your guide, and not get lost”, in order to help them learn to trust the Force to guide them. The winner get the group’s extra slices of Galdeenian spice cake for desert. Anyone who gets lost has to experience the mortifying ordeal of calling a Master to come pick them up and getting to feel the amusement at their expense while they walk them back to the creche.
There are stories, passed from padawan to initiate, about initiates who wandered down there and never came back up. Some say they’re still down there, that there’s a whole Jedi community living somewhere under the temple who’ve forgotten what sunlight looks like, and if you’re bad they’ll take you away. Older padawans scoff at the stories, but it’s true that there are corridor upon corridor of empty rooms not that far down; ones that are full of dust and old furnishings and abandoned lives that no-one bothered to pick up. Those who’ve ventured a little deeper speak of training salles where the floor sags and opportunistic mushrooms have taken root, of unused kitchens with ovens that long ago rusted shut, of ‘freshers that stlll work because no-one bothered to disconnect the water lines. One brave pair of padawans found the old Healers’ wing a decade or so back, the one they used hundreds of years ago before the new facilities were built. It’s said that they found someone in carbon-freeze down there, that only the Council know who it is. The rumour’s never been verified, but every new Council member looks up the story when they take a seat.
If it’s true, none of them are talking.
why the FUCK are weekends only 2 days long do you really think that's enough to recover from the horrors of the work week. really.
Some of my favorite magic side effects:
-Nosebleeds. Never gets old.
-Coughing up blood. The good ol’ “cough into your hand and pull it back to see blood” also never gets old.
-Headaches. You keep fighting as your head pounds, desperately telling you to take a break. At first they fade within minutes when you stop using magic, but overtime, they become chronic.
-Fatigue. After a big battle, you stand triumphant, and then just fall asleep on the spot.
-In a similar vein, overuse causing you to straight up faint rather than just fall asleep. Darkness begins to overtake your vision in the middle of battle, unconsciousness abruptly looming over you.
-Any of the side effects happening to another person. Maybe two close characters are connected, and whatever side effects character A would normally endure are transferred to character B. When A uses a blast of magic B screams loudly because holy shit that hurt.
-Magic gradually deteriorating your mind. Using it too much eventually caused hallucinations and an inability to retain memories, or even larger scale memory loss.
Feel free to add more, I’m looking for some to steal
I am reading "Heir to the Empire," and it has a passage about how Luke could never jump THAT far, because five stories was TOO MUCH, even for a JEDI! And I stopped mid passage to think of your post with all the Jedi jumping off various things, and I laughed. :)
LOL, okay, was he trying to jump OFF something or jump OVER something because I love BOTH IDEAS A LOT. JUMP OFF SOMETHING: I just love the idea that Luke has no idea to what ACTUAL LEVEL OF EXTRA AS FUCK the Jedi Order really got up to when it came to just flinging themselves off something. I mean, LOOK AT THIS SHIT:
”CAN’T JUMP FIVE STORIES” IS AMATEUR HOUR TO THE EXTRA AF JEDI ORDER OR IF THEY’RE JUMPING OVER SOMETHING: Just--just the image of Jedi playing the galaxy’s most over the top version of leap-frog. Jedi younglings--and lbr a few Knights and at least half of the Jedi Masters--SPROINGING ACROSS THE JEDI TEMPLE GARDENS OR ACROSS CORUSCANT TRAFFIC. That’s why that Dug from Attack of the Clones is like, “Jedi poodoo!” when Obi-Wan and Anakin go flying by, because HE HAS SEEN ONE TOO MANY JEDI PLAYING FORCE LEAP FROG AND ASSUMES THAT’S WHAT THIS IS MORE OF.
What’s really funny is when they don’t just do leaps and bounds for themselves in Force Leap Frog BUT WHEN THEY START GIVING EACH OTHER A PUSH IMAGINE OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN PLAYING FORCE LEAP FROG HOW GODDAMNED EXTRA THEY WOULD BE ABOUT IT
THAT IS CLEARLY A PRACTICED MOVE THAT WASN’T THEIR FIRST TIME THEY DON’T EVEN DISCUSS IT OBI-WAN JUST SAYS “I’LL GIVE YOU A PUSH” AND ANAKIN IMMEDIATELY KNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE MEANS ERGO: OBI-WAN AND ANAKIN HAD DONE THAT MOVE BEFORE AND IT WAS WHEN THEY WERE DECIMATING THEIR OPPONENTS IN THE TEMPLE WIDE GAME OF FORCE LEAP FROG ANYWAY FORCE LEAP FROG IS CANON BECAUSE I SAID SO AND BECAUSE IT’S HILARIOUS
I will always remember Christopher Lee as that horrifying moment in the LOTR commentaries where Peter Jackson says he started to direct him on how to act like he’d been stabbed and Christopher Lee goes “no no peter dear, when someone is stabbed like this, THIS is how they look, they don’t make a sound, air just leaves them all at once” and peter jackson remembers in that moment that lee was in the secret service and just slowly backs away.
Y’all… Christopher Lee was literally James Bond. He and Ian Fleming were cousins, he was one of the real life sources of inspiration for James Bond, and was Fleming’s first choice to play Bond in the movies. Saying that he was in the secret service doesn’t do it justice. His unit was informally referred to as “The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare” and his service records are still sealed. When an interviewer asked him about his service, he asked “Can you keep a secret?” the interviewer of course said yes, so he leaned in, lowered his voice, and said “So can I.” He also performed for a metal album in his 80′s. Christopher Lee was one of the most awesome humans ever to walk the Earth.
To quote my favourite article about his life, written before his passing:
“Christopher Lee is a 6'5" tall world champion fencer, speaks six languages, does all of his own stunts, has participated in more on-screen sword fights than any actor in history, served for five years defending democracy from global fascism as a British Commando blowing the shit out of Nazi asses in World War II, and became the oldest person to ever record lead vocals on a heavy metal track when, at the age of 88, he wrote, performed on, and released a progressive symphonic power metal EP about the life of Charlemagne (because why the fuck not?).
The most prolific actor in motion picture history, Christopher Lee was born somewhere in England in 1922. His mother was an Italian Countess who was actually descended from the line of Charlemagne, and she was so important that she was allowed to wear the royal seal of Frederich Barbarossa and so MILF-y she had her portrait painted by something like a half-dozen famous Italian artists. One of Lee’s ancestors on that side was the Papal Secretary of State who refused to attend the coronation of Napoleon and is buried in the Pantheon in Rome next to Raphael (the painter not the ninja turtle), which seems like kind of a big deal. Lee’s father, meanwhile, was a distant relative of Robert E. Lee and was multi-decorated war hero who’d served as a Colonel in the 60th King’s Royal Rifle Corps during World War I and the Boer War. Growing up, Lee studied Classics at Wellington College, where he was also a champion squash player, a ridiculously-badass fencer, and spent his spare time playing on the school hockey and rugby.
Shit got real in 1939 when Christopher Lee quit his day job, caught a boat to Finland, and decided to enlist in the Finnish Army to help them fight off the Soviet invasion of Finland. Lee got geared up to kick some commie asses up and down the frozen wastes of mid-Winter Finland, but didn’t see much action, returning home in 1940 to deal with a much bigger and more England-centric problem: Nazis. Christopher Lee enlisted in the Royal Air Force in 1940, where he worked as an intelligence officer specializing in cracking German ciphers and skulls and any other Nazi bullshit he came in contact with. In North Africa he was attached to the Long Range Desert Patrol, the forerunner of the SAS, where he would jump in a badass fucking four-wheel-drive jeep with a gigantic machine gun mounted in the back, drive hundreds of miles behind enemy lines, survive the scorching heat of the Sahara Desert, then sneak-attack Luftwaffe airfields by rolling up on them at sixty miles an hour with his .50-caliber machine guns blazing out curtains of white-hot Nazi-smiting justice, planting dynamite on their airplanes, then peeling ass out of there leaving nothing but bullet-riddled corpses and gigantic explosions in his wake. After working with the LRDP, Lee was assigned to the Special Operations Executive – better known as Winston Churchill’s Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare – a group that did shit like lead a twelve-man assault that destroyed the German top secret nuclear weapons development facility in Norway and assist brave Eastern European partisans and rebels sabotage Nazi supply lines to prevent them from bringing reinforcements up to fight the Soviets. His service records are sealed and Lee doesn’t talk much about his service (when pressed on the subject, he reportedly asks his interviewer, “Can you keep a secret?”. When they excitedly say yes, he leans in close and says, “So can I.”), but we do know that by the time he retired as a Flight Lieutenant in 1945 he’d been personally decorated for battlefield bravery by the Czech, Yugoslavian, English, and Polish governments and was good friends with Josip Broz Tito, so draw your own conclusions.
In addition to his iconic, definitive role as Dracula, Christopher Lee has also portrayed some of the most memorable villains of all time. Sure, everyone knows him as Sauroman the White from Lord of the Hobbits: Return to Fellowship Towers and Darth Tyranus from those otherwise-terrible Star Wars prequels… he played the ultimate Bond Villain in The Man with The Golden Gun – a role he got thanks in no small part to the fact that Bond creator Ian Fleming was not only Lee’s cousin, but the two men had fought together in the SOE during WWII. So Lee was basically part of the team that inspired James Bond, then he went on to play a fucking Bond Villain
I won’t get too much into it, but Christopher Lee has basically been in every movie ever, from billion-dollar Academy Award winners to the sort of shit that Elvira pimps on Channel 875 at four in the morning on a Tuesday. He’s almost always the villain, and as such has probably died on camera more times than anyone ever. He’s been Fu Manchu five times. He was the definitive Count de Rochefort in a couple Three Musketeers movies. He’s been The Mummy, Frankenstein’s Monster, Willy Wonka’s Dad, the Emperor of China, the Grim Reaper, Lucifer, Grigory Rasputin, Charles Marlow, Ramses, Tiresias the Blind Prophet of Thebes, Vlad the Impaler, one role where he’s simply credited as “Ship’s Vampire”, and another where he’s “Resurrection Joe.” He’s hosted SNL and been in Police Academy, the Last Unicorn, Charlie’s Angels, Season of the Witch, Gremlins II, a Polish Tales from the Crypt-style TV series and a softcore porn based on the works of Marquis de Sade, but he was also in Lord of the Rings, Shaka Zulu, A Tale of Two Cities, The Wicker Man, Moby-Dick and the Hamlet with Lawrence Olivier. He’s worked with Peter Cushing, Jimmy Stewart, Charlton Heston, Errol Flynn, Patrick Stewart, Stephen Spielberg, Orson Welles, Vincent Price, Christopher Walken, Sam Eliot, Jeff Bridges and Jayne Mansfield, but also Nicholas Cage, Heather Graham, Sacha Baron Cohen, Tom Arnold, Casper Van Dien and Armand Assante, and he once appeared in a movie called “Howling II: Werewolf Bitch” with the dude from Space Mutiny.
He’s the only person to play both Sherlock and Mycroft Holmes (he was also Sir Henry Baskerville). His characters have executed both Charles the First of England and Louis the Sixteenth of France (and, as a badass side note, Lee is so into the idea of public executions that in real life he can recite every official executioner in England since the 15th century). He’s portrayed Englishmen, Egyptians, Spaniards, Transylvanians, Frenchmen, Greeks, Poles, Chinese, Indians, Italians, Wallachians, Romans, Germans, Arabs, Gypsies, and Russians, played the lead role in the biography of Mohammad Ali Jinnah, the founder of Pakistan, speaks English, German, Russian, Swedish, Italian, and French, can do any English accent he wants, and sings everything from opera and death metal in a hardcore bass voice. IMDB credits him with 274 acting roles, Guiness says he’s appeared in more films than anyone ever, and the Oracle of Bacon lists him as the Center of the Hollywood Universe because anyone in history links to him in 2.59 steps (he links to Bacon in 1). If that’s not enough, Lee’s movies have grossed more than any actor ever – his top five alone grossed $4.4B (number two is Harrison ford with $3B) and that doesn’t even include the new Hobbit stuff
Lee also belongs to three stuntman unions, does all of his own stunts, once busted his face smashing head-first through an actual plate glass window for a scene, injured himself falling into an open grave while portraying Dracula, and once had his hand slashed open during a drunken sword fight with Errol Flynn.
Oh, and while we’re on the subject of swordfights, Lee has appeared in more on-screen sword duels than any other actor ever. A masterful fencer, he’s been in everything from cutlass fights on the decks of waterlogged pirate ships to rapier duels in seventeenth-century France to taking on a couple guys one-third of his age with a lightsabers and a fistful of force lightning on the deck of whatever the fuck they called Imperial Star Destroyers in the prequel movies.
A classically trained singer, Christopher Lee also released a heavy metal hardcore symphonic power metal concept album about Charlemagne when he was 88 years old. He’s played with Rhapsody and Manowar, and on his 90th birthday he released a metal single called “Let Legend Mark Me as the King” with music written by some of the guys from Judas Priest.
He is [was] still acting at ninety years old.”
Wow
I feel unaccomplished
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdQuxw52/
I think I found my new favorite rabbit hole. This voice actor does Shakespeare scenes in a southern accent and I need to see the whole damn play. Absolutely beautiful
if you're not from the us american south, there's some amazing nuances to this you may have missed. i can't really describe all of them, because i've lived here my whole life and a lot of the body language is sort of a native tongue thing. the body language is its own language, and i am not so great at teaching language. i do know i instinctively sucked on my lower teeth at the same time as he did, and when he scratched the side of his face, i was ready to take up fucking arms with him.
but y'all. the way he said "brutus is an honourable man" - each and every time it changed just a little. it was the full condemnation Shakespeare wanted it to be. it started off slightly mock sincere. barely trying to cover the sarcasm. by the end...it wasn't a threat, it was a promise.
christ, he's good.
the eliding of “you all” to “y’all” while still maintaining 2 syllables is a deliberate and brilliant act of violence. “bear with me” said exactly like i’ve heard it at every funeral. the choices of breaking and re-establishing of eye contact. the balance of rehearsed and improvised tone. A+++ get this man a hollywood contract.