This Capricious Life

We are defined by the chances we take.

[thiscapriciouslife]

Good Bye Tumblr

Unfortunately as time goes by tumblr is going the way of many other social media sites. Charging money for clout and forcing sign ups for someone just to read your blog. They have thrown around goofy community guidelines that heavily restrict free speech , expression, and access to information or opinions. I am in the process of switching over to this site where I'll be posting new and old content from various places. It was good while it lasted and if things change, maybe ill do a revisit someday.

RIP TUMBLER

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This Capricious Life

[thiscapriciouslife]

It’s Late, Lets Go Home- By Adam Rossmann

[thiscapriciouslife]

In 2011 I took the picture I consider to be the most important and visceral image I’ve ever captured. This was the first thing I ever blogged on this site but without the explanation. I’ve always been curious as to what others see in this photo and if you are reading this now, I’d love for you to pause and give me your honest opinion before you read on.

The Story:

In 2011 I took the photo I consider to be the most important and visceral image I have ever captured. I had been living in NYC for a little under a year at the time. As many have done before me, I moved there for love but quickly found out I had to share that love with skyscrapers, subways and streetlights. My girlfriend at the time wanted to bring her childhood best friend to see the city we were starting to call home. She brought her boyfriend and if I’m not mistaken, this was the first time I met him.

Over the weekend it was hot as all hell in our third story walk up in Bushwick. We were crammed into that one bedroom apartment and the temperature wasn’t just rising physically but metaphorically as well. You see the girl in the photo didn’t seem to like this boy. Her words were harsh, even to the point that my heart was hurting for him.

The next day we jumped on the J train and headed into Manhattan. All day we tracked up and down the island attempting to show off all the new and cool little gems our city was hiding. He paid for everything, spoke sweetly to her every time word came out of his mouth and on many occasions tried to hold her hand. Honestly, despite the tension, we were there to have fun.

It was early afternoon and we had made our way 42nd street and headed over to Times Square. I had told the boy that he had to be careful with the panhandlers here. They are ruthless and can break a hard working, midwestern, small town boy in seconds. After ignoring my advice and his willpower, he found himself in possession of two underground hip hop CDs and lacking 40 dollars in cash. (Can’t wait to tell you what was on them) Needless to say, the girl was not a fan of this and she made sure to let him know.

Our next destination was 76th street on the Hudson. On the subway ride the boy lost another 20 dollars to a “homeless man”, who said he just lost his job, wife, kids, house and also stage three terminal leg cancer…. Again this didn’t go well for the boy.

We arrived at the river and spent some time people watching and looking for a late lunch. We were enjoying the park there when I caught a glimpse of a familiar face. There he was in all his leathery skinned glory, Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino. This was the first encounter with a famous person for both the boy and the girl so they were both freaking out but, what happened next really had my head spinning. She told him to stay there and then immediately walked up to The Situation and asked for a pic, To all of our surprise he walked up next to her and put his arm around her. She had distain in her voice as she asked the boy to take her picture of just the two of them. Seemingly unaware, my girlfriend stepped in and offered to take one of all three of them. Mike is a self proclaimed ladies man with a superiority complex so when she demanded the boy go to the other side of him while making a joke about getting a new boyfriend he cracked a smile. As he walked to the other side she took a moment and whispered something in the Situation’s ear. As my girlfriend counted down 3, 2, …. The situation turned to her and kissed her close to her lips and she relished every minute. Soon after she would post that picture on social media cropping the boy out so all you could see was his hand on Mike’s shoulder.

After several more hours we were so tired, sweaty and to be real, a bit agitated after a verbally abusive Staten Island Ferry ride. We were about to head back home, and that leads us to this moment. All of the sudden my girlfriend had to take a call from her mom so she walked down the street for some privacy. The three of us stood there but something in me said I needed to give these two some space. Only one person was talking and I wasn’t trying to eaves drop but I saw what was happening so I took my camera out and snapped two photos. The first one showed them both standing in the middle of the stairs, her arms relaxed but her body ridged, and his left hand reaching out as if to touch the side of her waist. I wondered what was being said as I looked at the little screen on the back of my camera thinking about how oddly sincere that photo looked, and anyone who looked at it would think it was quite sweet. Then I heard it. The boy uttered the words I love you. She was quiet for a few seconds and then said “Why are you here? I’ve never hated someone the way I hate you.” I felt sad and guilty as I stole that moment forever.

[thiscapriciouslife]

It’s crazy how many hours I’ve spent wasting time online giving people who don’t care my opinions. Let’s refocus in 2024 in a creative way and put my words into somthing that matters. The next few months I’ll be posting a mixture of new content and found content from the last 25 years.

[thiscapriciouslife]

Searching

One day I asked God if he could show me what I was meant for.

He said I’ve already given you everything you need in this life.

I asked him why it felt like every day was a struggle?

He said you will find your way just be patient.

I waited and waited until finally I asked God why do you leave me wondering what my purpose is.

Why do I need to be so patient?

He said, Boy you are blind. I’m here for you every step of the way but I can’t carry you.

I scoffed and said, Why are you even here if you can’t guid me to success in life?

He said, Open your eyes. I’ve given you everything you need.”

I said, I trusted you.

And he replied, Son, I’ve given you everything you need.

And I was lost.

Then an angel came in the form of you.

She said, I don’t need you to be perfect but I need you to know I am here for you.

I said, I’m not so sure. I’m not the person you think I am.

The angel said, I know you aren’t perfect and that’s what I love about you. No one can be perfect but that’s why God put you here. That’s your purpose. To show others love and to love yourself. Love you for who you are and to make sure others find their pourpose. It’s not about you. It’s about the people who matter because of you.

I asked, Where does your wisdom come from?

And he said, I once was you.

[thiscapriciouslife]

“The Ladder”

You’re fatal you’re fatal

Syringes and needles

You go to the atttic

To find all your people

You go to the basement

To find out you’re killers

An insect that thrives

Without handguns or feelers

Nobody sees who you are

without sealant

A child who’s starving to death

While you feed them

And nobody kneels

on the blacktop or pavement

Without picking scabs

causing scars

that don’t mean much

So you stand up and reach

In your pocket for matches

But in it was just a pocket

full of ashes

Now throw it in water

And watch what will happen

Now cover your face with it

Put on a mask then

You look all around

At these walls made of heathens

And watch as they laugh

when you just want to be them

And topping it off

Is a ceiling of treason

So do you just join them

Or fail trying to beat them

The ladder provided

will not even reach them

So why even try

to reach goals

and achievements

Once and a while a

man needs pep talk

You push on that rung

take a step

That’s a leg up

Step out of the ring

let it ring

Put the phone down.

And plan your escape

make your way

out the hole

But the higher you get

There is much less to hold

Except for a rope

with a noose

and a note

We promise to lower you into the ground

Your family and friends

will make sure you’re remembered

Here lies a man

but his name is all weathered

But then you’ll feel cold

with the worms

in the dirt

Looking up at the ground

where where the walls still exist

Where the ladder is rotting

away where it sits

Tempting another

to use the exit

Only to find out

the exits a myth

But what do I know

about pain and regret

I’ll leave that for someone else

back on the deck

A ship that is sailing

on rocks at the bottom

A slight of the hand

leaving bed frames in hostels.

And down on the ground

they are getting more hostile

Eating the eagles

until we have lost hope

Empty nests

lining the treetops

Still up is the way

counting bricks as you go

Until all the chaos

has turned into smoke

And all of the people

and places

and things

are just pins on a map

made of paper and ink

Folded so nicely

and put behind your seat

Just in case you forget your destination

And finally you make it

Standing on that last rung

Realizing the top

is still 10 feet away

A voice telling you

they are proud and impressed

But unfortunately

we can not give you the key.

This door is reserved

for those who can see

That the ladder we gave you

was put upside down

So you just have to keep climbing

Up

To the ground

[thiscapriciouslife]

If you know... you know. #racine #racinewi #racilla #raytown #wi #wisconsin #grafitti #graffiti #tagging #lakemichigan #lake #dock #paint https://www.instagram.com/p/CC05UVyDIl2/?igshid=1svnd4hghn46z

[thiscapriciouslife]

There will be winding roads, potholes and fallen branches. Never let them stop you from reaching what lies at the end. #road #longroad #dontturnaround #wi #doorcounty #doorcountywi #wisco #wisdom #prose #writing #sisterbay #hill #spring #fall #ooenroad https://www.instagram.com/p/B_ObjH7H25Z/?igshid=1s82g377b8p8k

[thiscapriciouslife]

The Alpha and the Omega. #lakemichigan #greatlakes #lake #highseas #alpha #omega #alphaomega #nature #erosion #thealphaandtheomega #racine #pier #dock #timetravel #windpoint #thebeginingandtheend https://www.instagram.com/p/B9zz_Imn0yC/?igshid=1etg98od33qpf

[thiscapriciouslife]

Never Gets Old even when it's cold. #racine #marina #boats #boat #racinewisconsin #deck #sunrise #sunset #nevergetsold #skyporn https://www.instagram.com/p/B8hgHEqn9iU/?igshid=17uyoftwbdhl8

[thiscapriciouslife]

My brother and his wife decided we needed some more sophisticated wall decor in the house. So they had a distinguished portrait of @charliehasapoint made and it's my favorite Christmas gift! This is actually him and not a stock photo! #wallart #dog #germanshorthairedpointer #gsp #gspofinstagram #dogstagram #admiral #portrait #doglife #fineart #art #painting #gspdaily #gspworld #petsofinstagram #pets #dogs #racine #wisconsin #wisco https://www.instagram.com/p/B6jZyVCntFF/?igshid=e3udqh9kn0eu

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Artist? Or Serial Killer? #photoaday 11 #turkey #doorcountywisconsin #serialkillers #lawnornaments #weird #weirdshit #thanksgiving #hunting #turkeyinatie #killer #dc #whatarethose #onlyinwisconsin #wisconsin #wisco #art #stuffedanimal #taxidermy #tom #gobblegobble #questions #antlers #antlers #sisterbay #turkeylope https://www.instagram.com/p/B30xR3JHBZ-/?igshid=o5od2rkxoogl

[thiscapriciouslife]

Everything is Racist. Found a nice little pencil pouch at Target. had to make a quick adjustment because how dare Target be so overtly racist. Don't get caught letting someone know you are not in danger, that your kiddo did a great job or that your S.C.U.B.A. diving buddy is safe. #doingokisnotracist #changemymind #ok #racist #hatespeech #target #hatesymbol #whitesupremacy #banok #banhatespeech #banidiots #banpencilpuches #bantarget #baneverything #scuba #scubadiving #itsoktobeok #oksymbol #justkiddingthisisreallystupid #stopbeingajackass #pcculture #politicallyincorrect (at Target Store Sturgeon-Bay) https://www.instagram.com/p/B3S9nHKn4KK/?igshid=1g07qi5his9kp

[thiscapriciouslife]

If a tree falls in a cemetery, are there any souls around to hear it? #photoaday 4 #cemetery #gravestone #fall #storm #tree #mausoleum #blackandwhite #headstone #grave #soul #souls #ghosts #graveyard #racine #wisconsin #wi #wisco #ifatreefalls #spooky #scary #peaceful #missedme #westlawn #ghost #lucky #holloween #october #missyougramps https://www.instagram.com/p/B3NuNFXHFM-/?igshid=ytwzn6aqssj2

[thiscapriciouslife]

Play day with my amazing neice. Photo-a-day 2 #swing #swings #swing #swingset #play #playground #pets #kenosha #playground #neice #petrifyingsprings #wisconsin #wisco #wi #kenoshawisconsin #cutekids #kids #cute #cutebabies #happybaby #happy #fun #smile #swingset #cutekidsclub https://www.instagram.com/p/B3HekVMnjtK/?igshid=16uzxfkdzfhc4

[thiscapriciouslife]

Quotables #fowl #isaiditfirst #topgun #goose #spacegoose #quotes #moviequotes #hiss #animals #humanesociety #mavrick #mav #hollywood #tomcruise #wisconsin #igs #filters #filter #igotslmethingtotellyou

[thiscapriciouslife]

#stacyorico @kbreezyfosheezy

[thiscapriciouslife]

Gretta enjoying the parade! #longdog #daschundsofinstagram #daschund #weinerdog #4thofjuly #parade #mainstreet #racine #racinewisconsin #wisconsin #independenceday #weinerdogsofinstagram #dog #dogventure #wi #wisco