wow i have a personality

[grabmyboner]

no but just let me watch shane jacking it solo I think it would fix me

[grabmyboner]

@pollutionfair ASSDFKFJSKDJ

[a-stray-thief]

After playing in LA, Rose takes the Cens out to party. The rookies are besides themselves, Wyatt geeks out so hard that he gets to meet more actors who play superheroes, Luca gets hit on by three different models and takes at least one of them up on it, and Ilya let's out his inner club rat and is just enjoying being in a good club. Shane goes along to spend time with Rose and make sure no one pukes in front of a camera again (looking at you, Holmberg!). Ilya, Shane and Rose end up leaving together. They’re all a little tipsy—the club had good Russian vodka, so Ilya had a lot and Rose joined him to “bond” and Shane indulged in a few beers which he still doesn’t do a lot during the season even though he’s more relaxed about his diet now, so they’re all not entirely sober. Outside of the club, they’re a little loud which draws enough attention that people recognize them—well, let’s be real, they mostly recognize Rose although someone says “isn’t that the gay baseball player from that Calvin Klein ad?” when they see Shane—and several people start filming. Which is of course when Rose’s heel breaks and she lands ass over teakettle on the sidewalk.

Shane and Ilya are immediately concerned and Rose tries to wave them off, “my heel just broke, guys,” and Shane says, “you broke your foot?” and Rose laughs and says “no, my heel” and waves her broken shoe around, the red sole glinting in the light. “Why are you wearing fucking low quality shoes?” Shane asks, honestly confused, and Rose gasps, “Shane, they’re Louboutins!” And Shane very seriously says, “well, then Louboutins are fucking bad quality,” which has Ilya cackling because he definitely knows Louboutins, probably even owns a pair, and knows that they’re not low quality at all. But now there’s a video out there of Shane Hollander calling Louboutins low quality and that’s going to be a fun time on the internet. Then Shane helps Rose up and she wrinkles her nose and says, “ugh I hate walking barefoot in downtown LA,” and Ilya says, “don’t be ridiculous, we carry you,” and Rose is all, “oh piggy back ride,” and Shane says, scandalized, “you’re wearing like a miniskirt, everyone will see your ass if you do that,” and scoops her up bridal style. And then he carries her down two blocks to the sushi restaurant they chose for a late night snack and the video of that goes even more viral than Shane’s Louboutin critique.

[my-castles-crumbling]

smile - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 546 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3 - cw: mentioned canon depression and minor character death, but it's not a depressing, I promise!

June 2021

Their wedding is in one month.

Every time Ilya reflects on this fact, he smiles so widely his eyes squint shut, and he has to pinch himself to check if his life is real.

But on June 15th, it really, truly hits him.

Because Ilya Rozanov, self-proclaimed forever-young asshole....is thirty.

He'd spent the whole weekend celebrating. Drunk out of his mind at bars and house parties, all of his friends there with him, only taking breaks from the chaos to fuck Shane in every available room he could find. 

The weekend had been a blur. He'd sworn up-and-down, between shots and shotgunning beers, that he was just as young as he'd always been. That Scott Hunter (who had partaken in a fair amount of the festivities) was the only dinosaur there, and he could still keep up with the best of them. 

And he could!

Until he'd woken up Monday with the worst hangover of his life, which was still bleeding into Tuesday, his actual birthday. 

"I am dying," he groans now, laid out on the couch. Shane, the asshole, just laughs. "And my husband does not even care," he adds.

"Not your husband yet. You have to be alive to marry me," Shane jokes, but Ilya can see the heat in his eyes at the word 'husband.' They've fucked more than once about it. 

The comment hits Ilya strangely, though. Maybe it's all of the alcohol that's gone through his system in the past few days, (Galina told him that people with depression are likely to experience natural mood drops after drinking a lot), or maybe it's the fact that he still feels a little off, even now. But he doesn't laugh at the words. He chews on them and swallows them, digesting them slowly.

"I...did not think I would be alive, actually," he murmurs after a long moment, furrowing his brow.

Shane's by his side in an instant. "Wh--what do you mean?" he demands.

"Is okay, solnyshko, I am safe," he reminds Shane, because they both need to hear it. "But...after...everything. With Mama, with Papa, with...life. Is maybe...I don't know. I did not hopeI would be dead. But when people asked, 'Ilya, what will life be like when you are adult? Will you marry? Have children?' I...my mind is blank. I do not have ideas. I think I thought...I would not make it this far," he admitted with a shrug. "I would be good at hockey, yes, but then...I don't know."

He can tell, from the way Shane's looking at him, that he desperately wants to say something. He's thankful that he doesn't.

"Relationship, marriage, turning thirty...I am older than my mother now, did you know?" he murmurs, voice breaking a little. "Feels...strange. I did not think I would ever be so lucky, to have all of this. To make it here."

Shane reaches for him, pulling him into a hug that feels more like a lifeline, rocking him slowly back and forth as tears begin to stream quietly down his face. "You deserve it, Ilya," he mutters in that soft tone reserved only for him.

So Ilya celebrated before his birthday. And cries during.

And he will live long after.

[alittleorchidinsideofhim]

“Wow, this Montreal girl works you up, brother!”

The Montreal girl in question:

[symphoniccowboy]

hollanov's separate issues w denial are soo funny . ilya's inner monologue is like i love DANGER & HOT SEX ! which is why i am obsessed with fucking shane hollander who only eats plain steamed fish & bitches me out for having even ONE cigarette & doesn't listen to music because he doesn't "get it" . meanwhile shane is staring grimly at a view overlooking a city skyline like he's batman going "This Horrible Fucked Up Thing Between Us ....... It Has To Stop ." & then the second he gets ilya alone he's like HIIIIIII stupid asshole 🥰 if u dont let me suck your dick right now im going to kill myself . awesome work guys seriously .

[blessyouhawkeye]

shane hollander leaving the 2014 olympics figure skating men's short to go be gay is driving me crazy. hollander noooo you're going to miss yuzuru hanyu skate parisienne walkways and break a world record homosexuality can WAIT you're missing HISTORY

[lostinhistory]

Collecting my favourite Canadian(ish) responses to Heated Rivalry

[parrishsrubberplant]

@allthefoolmine

[funfactbuck-deactivated20260403]

[x]

[funfactbuck-deactivated20260403]

i feel ilya in these tags tonight

[utopians]

don't EVER let softcore gay porn convince you that it's okay to play sports. It's not okay to play sports

[heatedrivalrysource]

Hudson and Connor look like proud parents! ❤️

[chaos0pikachu]

ilya is such a fucking funny ass character cause like his behavior be wildin out harder than contestants on family feud hosted by steve harvey like the fuck you mean ilya caught sight of some big brown eyes and freckles on the ice and was like "damn gotta get me some of that" calling up his agent to set up a foreplay commercial just to see shane in some makeup with the fenty gloss bomb on and then rolls up in the showers checking out shane's A++ tiddies and dick like this is the start of a queer as folk episode and not Canadian government co-funded yaoi then just starts straight CRANKING it right there in front of buddha, jesus, and the spirit of queen elizabeth herself THE SHAMELESSNESS

meanwhile shane can feel the spirits of his ancestors going "not this white boy, don't you dare" but then ilya struts up tyra banks top model style with his slut bones out and is like "how you doin?" the embodiment of the eggplant emoji irl and shane's big subby brown eyes are hungry like a wolf cause iyla's apparent 9 inch dick that he was literally stroking out is right there in front of shane's face and shane's ate nothing but baked chicken and white rice for the last two years he is STARVING and his ancestors are like "fuck, we lost him"

[collaredfrank]

As a queer person who has had this kind of conversation with my straight mother, I'm obsessed with Ilya's reaction to Yuna saying he and Shane staying in the closet and keeping their relationship a secret for the rest of their careers is sad. That feeling when someone's catching up to your lived experience over the last decade.

[femmenerd]

lolololol. andrea joyce of NBC just naively asked the top three skaters at tonight’s women’s short program at us nationals if there was “a rivalry” between them, and amber glenn (reigning us champion and out pansexual who reposted that video of connor storrie queening out to madonna on ig last week) made THIS FACE:

😂

[jadenvargen]

what’s a little fujo fast food sometimes with friends. cheering at tha screen throwing peanuts when the dudes gets naked… sniff sniff.

[vickyvicr]

[Jacob on why ass eating happens in episode 2 unlike on the book]

Jacob: One of the things in MM romance written by women that I have never— I've always been like, that's not us, is like, fucking— you have to say I love you before you eat an ass. Not true. It happens very quickly. And there was no way I was treating it like some kind of fucking cake he was getting. I was like, they did it the first time they had sex. If Ilya is a good top, he eats his ass in episode two. Like, that's when Shane's legs go behind his ears. And that's what Ilya's doing.

Jacob: I was like, no, no, no, no. This is a part where I'm like, I feel like I have to go forward as a gay man and be like, enough. We do this on the reg. Everybody likes it. We're doing it here. We don't say— this isn't marriage. This is like, unfortunately, something you do to strangers. So just to be very clear.

Interviewer: Nice to meet you. Bend over, please.

Jacob: Nice to meet you is also very, very formal. What am I? A duke? [...] Yeah, I do have a whole thing about ass eating and stuff where I'm like, no, that happens. That'll happen with a blowjob.

source: Episode 9 We say, THANK YOU Jacob and Brendan! by LoonCallPod

[kieranculkn]

this is the funniest thing ive seen inmy entire life

[spicycheeser]

"A marriage ending isn't a failure at all. I spent eleven years with her. We were so in love that we couldn't image life apart from each other. We got our own place, adopted a dog, and supported each other through school. I thought if tow people loved each other enough the rest would fall into place, except... love isn't everything.

And I didn't want to believe that, but we were sitting in counseling one day, talking about our future and I realized we were describing two completely different lives. Where we'd live, what kind of life we wanted, what made us happy. And it hit me that- I love this woman and this woman loved me. And after eleven years of loss, grief, career changes, we were so deeply in love... but we weren't aligned. And I kept thinking 'We just need to try harder. We can find some compromise to make this work,' because that's what you're supposed to do when you love someone, right?

But the reality was, we had just become different people. Her trade school took her in one direction, my graduate degree in another and trying to force us back into who we were five years ago wasn't coming from a place of love. It was coming from a place of fear. Fear that, if this ended, it meant we wasted eleven years. But sitting there across from her, I realized: That's not how love works.

Those eleven years happened. They were real. The dog, our home, showing up for each other through grad school and trade school. I wouldn't change a single thing because loving someone doesn't mean you're meant to stay with them forever. And letting go doesn't erase what you had. We measure marriage by whether it lasts forever or not, but what if we measured it by whether it mattered?

What if we measured it by the love we gave, the life we built, and the people we became? Because love's job isn't to last forever, it's to help you become fully completely yourself, and sometimes the most loving thing you can do is give each other permission to be yourselves, separately. But the dog doesn't know were' divorced. He just gets two Christmases now."

Pulled this from this guy Preston Rakovsky's Instagram (@prestonrack) because it is a beautiful perspective on love, marriage, and relationships in general.