Mel

Just trying to create a better life for myself

[carefreejules]

when hugh morris hits that silly pose

[timove]

I'm falling in love with someone at uni I think but I'm not sure if it's platonic or romantic but all I know is that I want to be around them often and be closer and hang out and listen to them talk because they have such a beautifully interesting mind and they're so smart and educated and culturally educated as well and AAAAHHHHHH

[timove]

I hate it when my overthinking makes me believe someone I care about is going to hate me for *checks notes* asking how they are

[timove]

It's about a year after I posted this now and I believe I'm slowly breaking this curse. Don't get me wrong those bad thoughts still arrive and I still overthink on the daily, however, I'm able to believe my friends love me and a single action that doesn't hurt anyone won't break the bond.

That isn't to say it was easy to get here -- quite the opposite actually. I had to deal with long months of someone ghosting me which made these thoughts come back stronger and louder than ever. But really all I learned was that the people who love you won't let you go like that, and definitely not when you say hi less enthousiastically than normal, if you're not able to socialise as much as usual, nor if you look or act a bit like a mess sometimes because we're all human in the end and they too will have those days.

What I'm trying to say is: this curse of overthinking isn't easy to lift (I mean I still have to deal with it every day -- and now I'm also falling in love which oh boy I don't even want to get into that) but it's possible. Every day is a new day in which you can try to challenge these thoughts. And if there's anything I learned this year, it's that true friends won't make you second-guess that much -- or at least, not months on end. So if you're anything like me, take a deep breath, you're doing okay and I know you will learn how to either battle these thoughts away or learn to live with them without them taking over your life

I believe in you all <3

[thecommunalfoolboy]

Aphobia is craaaaazy, like queer people in general didn’t do anything but we REALLY didn’t do anything

[timove]

You ever meet someone from the past and think man, we would have been great friends had we only met now and not back then? Had I been my current version of myself and not the person you used to know?

[timove]

And also, are we both overwhelmed by memories while acting like we don't know who the other is because it's been so long ago and both of us changed so much and yet I still recognise you because why wouldn't I recognise you, or is it just me who feels this way now?

[timove]

You ever meet someone from the past and think man, we would have been great friends had we only met now and not back then? Had I been my current version of myself and not the person you used to know?

[lonely-space-ace]

What really ticks me off when talking about ai is when people are like "it's unavoidable" or "you'll have to learn to use it someday" or "its going to be part of the future" like no it's plenty avoidable actually if you have a spine stronger than a dandelion. You simply say "no" and continue to use your own goddamn brain.

[timove]

It is slowly getting easier to go on about my day as I used to

It is slowly getting easier to not feel a pain in my chest when I think of you

Although I still cannot go a day without thinking about what used to be

And all that could have been if we (you) tried

It is getting easier to wake up in the morning light, and bask in the sun after having been seated in the darkness for so long

Although at times I still feal waterdrops begging to leave my eyes

They're not a rainstorm no more

I miss you, or maybe I miss me

Whatever it is, the light is slowly replacing the rain

[timove]

Sometimes you just have to dance around your room playing music written by the bands you love and forget all the bad things in life for a few hours

[junglejim4322]

Things will never work out the way you expect you can’t stay in paralysis waiting for the right moment forever or you will experience nothing. Keep it moving and remember not knowing how things will go is part of the excitement of living

[conindiundrum-writing]

Your story is still worth writing even if it veers off from what you planned originally.

It’s still worth writing even if you aren’t feeling it right now.

It’s still worth writing even if it’s fanfiction.

It’s still worth writing even if you don’t think anyone else would ever want to read it.

It’s still worth writing even if it doesn’t get published.

It’s still worth writing even if it doesn’t get adapted into a huge blockbuster movie.

It’s still worth writing even if you can’t have fancy illustrations at the beginning of chapters or a map of the world at the beginning.

It’s still worth writing even if someone you trusted told you to stop.

It’s still worth writing if you just rolled your eyes at me.

It’s still worth writing, SO WRITE IT.

[no1cutiepatootie]

do you prefer

first half of the year

last half of the year

Voting ended onJul 18, 2025

[timove]

Seeing an instrument in the decor of a show and realizing the character who it belongs to touches it so little that a new watcher wouldn't be able to guess why it's even there and I wonder if it's just that they can't fit it into the plot more often or if it's a hobby half-forgotten

And then I think of my uncle's guitars stalled out in his living room but when child me stayed over I only remember him picking it up once or twice and I start to wonder if he still regularly practices at all

And then a wave of melancholy hits me when I wonder if I will end up forgetting all I loved to do because of a lack of time and energy

A guitar in the corner of the room catching dust, my sketchbook somewhere in the house but I don't know where, scribbled notes of sudden ideas for my novel scattered around but never looked at while the documents haven't been opened since...since when? I don't even remember. And the games I once used to play, I haven't played in years, one started years ago but now I don't remember the controls and would have to start over...again. The books I love suddenly taking three months to finish whereas before they would only take a week or less

And I sit in that house looking at all the stuff just wondering where the time and energy for them went

And then I think about my life now and I realise I'm already slowly drifting towards that path

I don't practice everyday, sometimes skipping days or even a whole week. My sketchbook forgotten for weeks on end. The last time I felt a spark for my novel was...April, I think? And the games I bought lay unplayed for a year. And my oh so precious books...I don't have time for them, not when I need to read other ones for a grade

I just wonder, is that what life's supposed to be?

Am I just meant to let this all go, let it all slip away from me?

Is this what growing older is like?

It can't be like this, right?

[timove]

And maybe life still isn't as happy or bright, but at least you are out of it, and that makes it better than all those moments spend together where I tried to fix what you broke and your eyes were just glued to your phone

(And I wondered why you always seemed to lose the ability to type when it came to reaching out to me)

[star-struck09]

Remember, the phone works both ways.

[timove]

I promise I will keep trying to keep going forwards no matter what it takes

[timove]

Finally accepting that true happiness comes from within and not from whether or not that idiot responds or acknowledges me