you punch nazis!
(requested by anonymous)
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@tomisalive-blog
you punch nazis!
(requested by anonymous)
So I know that with the holidays some people gotta deal with shitty family or maybe don’t have a family so I’m just gonna say…
I can be your butch lesbian dad.
My skills in this department include:
Good at encouragement and compliments
Will put your drawings on my fridge
Will attend all your sports games and recitals; very good at clapping and using an air horn to show other parents that I am the Most Supportive
Always telling my coworkers how proud I am of you and of all the amazing things you do
Only 5'5", very unimposing and approachable
Will let you have as many pets as you want
Good at puns; once got booted from three different chat groups in the span of half an hour for pie puns
Will never fail to tell you how much I love you and how glad I am to be your dad
I’m so proud of you, kiddo!
With Father’s Day coming up, I would like to once again offer my services as a lesbian dad. I have added/remembered a few other skills within my repertoire:
Tacky shirts for all occasions
Will call you by nicknames such as “Sport”, “Kiddo”, “Champ”, “Buddy”, “Pumpkin”, “Buckeroo”, “Sonny”, “Sweetie”, or whatever you may prefer
If you want I can give your dates the Dad Look™ whilst chopping fruit with my great axe but then instead of giving them the Dad Talk™ I offer them some light refreshments (fruit salad) and ask them what they like to do (because you’re not my POSSESSION, why the fuck would I not trust your judgement? But I absolutely want to get to know the important people in your life!)
I will respect your gender and sexuality no matter what. 10/10 would take you to pride (probably while wearing a tacky rainbow “proudest lesbian dad” t-shirt)
I sing really loudly in the car (I know a lot of showtunes and rock ballads) and you are welcome either join in the singing or you can sit in your seat saying “uuuhhhggg you’re so EMBARASSING”. both of these reactions add to my enjoyment of driving with you
I will Always dance to the boppy 70’s music they play in the supermarket and my dance moves are Very Bad
If you want I can make a big show of leaping to my feet and saying, panicked, “YOU’RE NOT LEAVING DRESSED LIKE T H A T” so that you think I’m about to make you change but, no, I’m actually just grabbing the perfect accessory to match your shirt and then I give you a little kiss on the forehead and tell you to have a fun night
I am Small (only 5'5", very unimposing) but my heart is Big and my shoulders are good for crying on, should you need them
If you have goals and dreams and things you’re passionate about, I’ll always make time to hear them, and I’ll always encourage you to live your best life
Remember, Lesbian Dad loves you and wants you to have a great Father’s Day!!
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from your local Lesbian Dad!!! ☃️🎅🎁
❤💚🎄❤💚 You know I’m always so grateful to have you all, kids!!! Peace and joy and happiness be yours, and may the new year bring even more!! ❤💚🎄❤💚
Ok, so I have a Dad but can I trade him for you?
Simon: I know you’re plotting.
Baz: I’m plotting to kiss you, does that count?
Love is a beautiful thing..
And Keith knew that. So when Lance wrapped his slender arms around Keith’s waist, he knew he should never let it slip from his grasp-
When Lance would kiss him on the head before every mission, Keith would kiss him back.
When Lanve needed a pedicure, Keith have him a pedicure.
When Lance needed some time to himself, Keith stayed with him. (Because Lance and Keith are the same person, it made no difference whether Lance was alone or with Keith.)
When Lance needed back up, Keith was his back up.
When Lance need defending, Keith defended.
Except from when he couldn’t.
Normally Lance could take care of himself, a jump, a gun shot, Galra down.
This time it was different. Instead of a jump, it was a trip, instead of a gun shot it was a scream. And instead of a Galra down, it was Lance.
Keith heard the scream and turned around, to be met with his worst nightmare. He bled onto the floor, his helmet smashed in the side. Lance cried for Keith, and Keith ran. He ran, slicing any Galra in his way, cursing them all to hell till he finally made it to Lance. He flipped Lance over and held onto his wound, praying for him to be alright.
Keith called for someone, anyone. Lance reaches up, tears pouring from his eyes and the bullet wound in his side ripped slightly more from the movement. He placed his hand right next to Keith’s face.
“Don’t cry, baby. I’ll be alright.” Lance smiled, weakly but he thought it was brave. That made Keith chuckle. “See? See! I’m fine! I’ll be fine. I have pancakes in the fridge I’m desperate to eat.” It sounded more like he was convincing himself, so Keith let him carry on.
“Damn. I was gonna eat them.” Keith joked, swearing at Shiro for not being quicker.
“Ok, fine, you can have them. I didn’t want them that bad anyway. I’ll bake a batch ten times better for us to share!” Lance giggles. His eyes began to slowly shut, but he blinked quickly to wake himself back up.
“Yes, yes you will. But you need to stay awake. Did I ever tell you much how much I love your eyes?” Keith rambled. Who wouldn’t ramble when they saw the love of their life slowly die in front of them?
“Yes. Every day.” Keith laughed, spitting as he did so. “Did I ever tell you how much I love your laugh?” Keith leaned more into Lance’s hand. Then he took of his helmet and leant into it again. “And your stupid Mullet? Your beautiful Galra feautures? I love your fingers, and how you’ve began to grow out your nails.”
“Because you sprayed me with water every time I bit them.”
“I saw it in an episode of Jessi.” Lance told him seriously. “Now, shush. You’re ruining my dying moment.”
“You’re not going to die, drama queen.” Keith tried to use an uplifting tone, but he seemed scared, his eyes went wide, and he clutched Lance’s hand.
Lance ignored him, he didn’t want to give Keith false hope. “I love you. Right from your stupid mullet, to your stinky feet which you love to put on my legs whenever you feel uncomfortable.” Lance moved his hand to brush through Keith’s hair.
Keith began to cry, he sobbed so loud.
“God, you’re so cheesy. Your stupid grin, and your idiotic pickup lines-”
“They made you fall for me.”
“And I don’t regret it”
Lance closed his eyes, “I love you, Keef Kog-lame”
“I love you more then you could ever know, Lame mcfame.” Lance smiled.
“You can have my pancakes. It sounds dirty, but you know you what?”
“What?” Keith asked, as Lance’s hand dropped to his side. Lance pushes himself up and even through Keith’s protest, kissed him.
“That.” And he opened his eyes again, just to see Keith’s surprised face as he lay back down. “See you in hell, babe.”
-But sometimes, love crashes and burns, and leaves you with nothing but ashes to pick up.
Please don’t repost 🙏🏻🙏🏻
I want everyone to know, that no matter what, I love you.
If you ever feel alone, know your royal lover is simply polishing your well deserved throne, waiting for you to arrive so you can both live out your lives happily together
(Royal lover is like a prince/princess/it)
Happy Valentine’s Day from, your valentine
I got my first couple of likes by a meme I made, so.. why not make another 😉
My god. That’s a lot of likes.. thanks! 😊
What’s poppin Tom?? I’m a nosey bitch so what’s ur favourite colour
*gasp* my first question!
Don’t worry, I’m nosey too. I wanna be typical and say my flag colours. Probably turquoise or black (I know, I’m a typical emo). Thanks for asking! 😊
how many followers do i need to get random asks god be nosy u little shits ask me about my personal life this is fucking boring getting nothing
Yes! People (I can’t even tell how many followers I have, like ten? Is that just me? Am I the only one who can’t see?) how many do I need??
listen i could talk all day about the romantic quotes in carry on cause but what really gets to me is this quote: “Because it doesn’t matter. In the end, I just do what’s expected of me. When the Humdrum comes after me, I fight him. When he sends dragons, I kill them. When you trick me into meeting a chimera, I go off. I don’t get to choose or plan. I just take it as it comes. And someday, something will catch me unawares or be too big to fight, but I’ll fight anyway. I’ll fight until I can’t anymore—what is there to think about?”
it’s so heartbreaking that simon doesn’t allow himself to think about the future cause he thinks he won’t have one, he thinks he’ll get killed someday fighting a monster and if he doesn’t that just means he’ll fight the next one. he feels a responsability to protect people, to use his power (even if he doesn’t know how to control it) for the greater good. and he doesn’t allow himself to think about what he wants to do outside of what it’s expected of him
…well break my fucking heart why don’t u
I didn’t even think about it like that, thanks for ruining my heart
I got my first couple of likes by a meme I made, so.. why not make another 😉
Can Vines and memes be used as spells in Wayward Son???
Welcome to Chilli’s = opening a door
Yeet = throwing something (or someone) away from the person
Spill the tea = tell the truth
Two bros chillin’ in a hot tub = anything gay
Whip = (used by those who don’t need wands e.g. Simon) wipes out/forces back a group of people
Barbecue sauce on my t!tt!es = Confuse/disorientate
Yeah I sure hope it does = fix/correct thing
I’m an adult virgin = rejuvenate “happy time”
Just walk awaAaAaAayyyy = Forcefully forgetting something
On all levels except physical, I am a wolf = shapeshifting
Do you know da wae? = direction/navigation
Omfg she Fkn dead = knock unconscious
I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me = Protection
I won’t hesitate b!tch = strength
A child. No! = abortion ???
PATRICA! = scare/frighten
I have the power of God and anime on my side = Power boost
And they were roommates = 2 people can harness each other’s strengths
Country boy I love you = Accent changes (IDK)
WTF Richard = Causes embarrassment onto others
Way to go Paul = Causes shame
KEEP ADDING TO THIS PLEASE!!!!
If you have any of these you can improve on GO FOR IT!!
[More in comments section VVV]
Kill ‘em with kindness= Kills people peacefully.
Adam!= Removes nearby smoke/ makes anyone feel guilty
Give me your fu*king money!= Robs people
You were the apple to my pie= breaks up a couple.
I put Adam to sleep one hour ago= Knocks people out immediately
Chris!!1! Is that a weed?= Alerts authorities of a crime happening, without talking to them.
Everyone dies, you either kill or get killed = Confuses the victim
I have to know
Who do you’ll prefer? (Reblog for answers)
Shiro and Curtis
Or Adam and Shiro
Personally I prefer, Adam and Shiro. Cause, they were the first, and it seems Shiro truly missed him.
But we didn’t get enough screen with either to actually decide (I also like who the fans made Adam out to be)
I have to know
Who do you’ll prefer? (Reblog your opinon)
Shiro and Curtis
Or Adam and Shiro
My friends and family as MCU characters: Pt.1
Peter: I don’t want to work out 35% cause then I have to work out 100, which is 5... wAiT
Steve: The cakes overdosed on chocolate!
Bucky, panting after being in a line: I JUST GOT GROPED
Tony, pointing to a rainbow: Same.
Yeah, no they screwed up bad.
you walk in here and they deal with every single problem youve ever experienced in your life and then you go to the cash register and they kill you
That would solve all of my problems though. I don’t see a problem with it
(Carrying on from my Space Dad Shiro post)
Shiro: WHERE’S THE COW GONE??
Lance: *whistling as he walks into the kitchen*
Shiro: Lance.. have you seen the Cow?
Lance: FIRST OFF—
Pidge: Oh god.. you’ve got him going now.
Lance: SHE ISN’T A OBJECT! SHE IS A PERSON LIKE US! sEcOnD oFf, SHE HAS A NAME!
Shiro: KEITH GET YOUR BOYFRIEND!
Keith: *comes crashing in* HE ISN’T MY BOYFRIEND *turns to Lance* Babe, let’s go put her back yeah? Where is she?
Lance: *crying* My bed.
Shiro: WTF