[hexjulia]

sometimes your distress does indicate you should stop and respect your limitations. at other times it's more of a baby aquatic mammal being introduced to water for the first time thing. Too bad the difference is so hard to tell.

[no1snoopyfan]

truthberry (makes you tell the truth) vs lieberry (gives you an immediate understanding of the dewey decimal system)

[longnuts]

Does anyone know what to do

[princecarlton]

[damejoansutherland]

men need to STOP starting podcasts and START forming barbershop quartets. NOW.

[peach-pot]

I’m starting to think some of y’all haven’t actually felt the rain on your skin… which is crazy because no one else can feel it for you

[freakoutgirl]

dw if I die I will still haunt the narrative

[chickensgod]

[cursedpossums]

unrestrained summer fun

[adelidae]

getting up from bed tips

getting up from bed cheats

getting up from bed codes

getting up from bed ending explained

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[cannibalchicken]

[zluty-spendlik]

[geeseareassholes]

[prodomius]

[stuckinapril]

(me ever since I was 12) okay I actually need to get it together now

[thatsbelievable]

[terraswallows]

Hear me out, minimalism is a scam by big small to sell more less.

[tombware]

went on a walk and spent five minutes meowing at this random cat until i realized the owner was standing right there in his yard

[vedurnan]

today at work i rung up a customer and the total was 12.30 and i said “12:30, reminds me of a clock :)” and they kind of smiled at me with confusion and i was like “like the time on a clock, just reminds me of it… 12:30” and they said “i have no idea what you’re talking about…” with an expression of supreme pity and gentleness. after that was finished i turned to my coworker next to me and said “i just bombed so hard with this clock comment” and then realized the customer hadn’t moved and was still standing right next to me. if my fate continues down this path, the customer will probably read this tumblr post as well

[toddsolondz]

i’m like a clown that no one hired or pays