The Noob

Thanks for visiting. Blog is not always safe, does not tag triggers often, and is commonly furry. Does not reblog porn.

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

Where my mutuals with tinnitus at make some noise

[postmarxed-deactivated20190429]

[nachosforfree]

AU where sans is frisk and vice versa

[nachosforfree]

[nachosforfree]

Yall really need to make me stop

[nachosforfree]

[curriebelle]

Where Law and Chaos Came From: a D&D History Lesson

I’ve seen a few interesting posts about Dungeons and Dragons alignments that all share two interesting commonalities:

1) They think the two-axis system of Law vs Chaos and Good vs Evil is too restrictive for people who like to roleplay. 2) They try to redeem the two-axis system by redefining Law and Chaos in ways that make sense to them personally.

Good and Evil aren’t usually a topic of debate on these posts - it’s easy enough to play a character as generally doing the right thing or as being a total bastard. Discussion on acts of more debatable morality (e.g. torturing a villain for vital information, killing an innocent person by accident, sacrificing one for the good of all) tends to veer towards whether the action itself qualifies as good or evil, and not whether good and evil themselves need to be redefined. Conversely, I’ve seen Law and Chaos rewritten as Community vs Individuality, Tradition vs Cultural Mutability, Authority vs Anarchy - all interesting ideas that tend to reflect more on the person writing them than the actual purpose of the Law vs Chaos axis.

I’m not saying these people are wrong, but that these players (as well as the fine folks who wrote the 5e Handbooks) are placing too much significance on the purpose or intention of Law vs Chaos. The historical secret is that Law vs Chaos alignment never had any deep meaning behind it - or, at least, it never had any meaning deeper than the Pittsburgh Penguins versus the Vancouver Canucks.

I’ll explain how, but it requires a bit of a history lesson. The idea of Lawful and Chaotic alignments - as well as a number of other cornerstones of Dungeons and Dragons - came from a different game: a miniature wargame called Chainmail. It’s time for a deep dive.

Keep reading

[tracyalexander-deactivated20201]

Ahh, I’ve been looking for this essay again FOREVER

[dr-archeville]

Hunh.  I’d always assumed the Law v. Chaos stuff was from Michael Moorcock’s  Elric of Melniboné and other Eternal Champion stories.

[smolderingcorpsebar]

So, it IS though. @curriebelle explains how the alignments functioned in Chainmail, but not where those concepts came from, which was *almost certainly* the Eternal Champion stories. That’s why Chaotic Neutral is explained as an alignment of pure randomness – because in Moorcock, Law and Chaos weren’t human concepts, but rather unknowable cosmic forces. Most of Moorcock’s heroes are on the side of Law, not because Law is better (in fact, in the Corum books, the gods of Law are pretty explicitly shown to also be assholes), but because the predictablity and stability of Law isn’t as dangerous for human life. On the flip side, Jerry Cornelius is a hero of Chaos in a world gone too far over to Law, and is imho the quintessential depiction of what Chaotic Neutral *is* (seriously, just read the wiki entry: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Cornelius)

Thing is, Gygax’s understanding of Moorcock’s ideas is… limited, at best, and he reduces it to a boring and kinda racist Nature & Tribal Barbarism (chaos) vs Civilization (Law) nonsense. That’s why Gygax’s Elves are Lawful; they represent Proper Western Civilization. You CAN get that feeling from Moorcock, IF you’d only read his Dorian Hawkmoon & Elric stuff (which tbh was all that was out at the time! Moorcock was a new, hip, edgy dude on the scene in 1971, upending the more traditional notions of fantasy with Weird Shit). But it’s basically the postmodernist problem of continued interpretation and reinterpretation: Gygax’s model was already a simplified version of Moorcock’s, in turn misinterpreted by other people.

*deep breath* Also, @curriebelle ’s take on the Xaosciects in Planescape: Torment is unfair and doesn’t examine the entire situation. Planescape the pre-existing campaign setting was literally designed to examine D&D alignment and take it to its furthest, most absurdist conclusions. To go whole hog and ask, “if we take two axis alignment completely seriously and use it as the cosmological underpinnings of a universe, how does that look..?” It goes back to the Moorcockian ideas of these versions of Law and Chaos being *very much beyond petty mortal understanding*, and asks what does a universe where that is true look like? Which is how we get Absolute Law represented by dice-shaped robots, and Absolute Chaos by giant parasitic carnivorous rainbow frogs. The Xaosciects represent what happens when mortals try to understand absolute chaos and to live under its’ precepts: *it’s not meant for us.* Similarly, the Mercykillers represent what happens when we try to adhere to absolute law with no concern for silly mortal stuff. Planescape at its best is D&D interrogating its own alignment system; at the time of publication, 20 years worth of players and GMs wrestling with it and trying for their own interpretations. And, notably, Planescape’s titular planes actually have seventeen gradients/interpretations of the alignment system, ranging from law-as-just-blind-rules to law-as-civilization to chaos-as-madness to chaos-as-a-state-of-nature. Planescape offers no absolute answers, but at its best is a neat interrogation of all this nonsense.

[curriebelle]

This is a great addition! I’ll admit, I hadn’t heard of Moorcock before this, so it’s neat to learn about.

I think you’re close when you say it’s a problem of reinterpretation (although I wouldn’t agree it’s postmodern - to get postmodernism you either have to use the reference in an ironic way or juxtapose it with something else. This is just someone misunderstanding what they’re referencing). Gygax used Moorcock’s morality for Chainmail and oversimplified, and then because he oversimplified it, he misused it in D&D.

If Law and Chaos are “not meant for mortals” as you put it, but are meant to be more nebulous overarching godly concepts beyond our understanding, then I think you’ve made my main point better than I did: that Law and Chaos are pretty poor concepts to guide mere mortals in their roleplaying! They’re philosophical discussions beyond the scope of the table - depending on the table. It doesn’t help that Gygax defines the terms so sloppily. D&D IS a separate entity from Moorcock and even from Chainmail. He can’t expect all players to have read the work he’s clumsily referencing, and Gygax’s own definitions are truly, truly garbage. If he’d understood his own nine-category morality then Planescape wouldn’t need seventeen categories to explore it properly, you see?

Planescape does seem to be the exception to the rule, though - I’m glad there’s some self-awareness of the awkwardness of the D&D moral system - but I find some of Planescape’s “explorations” more interesting than others. The association of chaos with gender non-conformity is an interesting one, which I think deserves a lot more prodding. Associating gender fluidity with chaos implicitly associates rigid gender roles with law. That’s an essay right there.

On the other hand I find the definition of Chaos as “gibbering madness because We Cannot Understand Chaos’s True Nature” to be tedious. “What is chaos?” “Well, if you know, you’ll go mad.” Okay, well, then what is there to discuss? That’s why I’m not so hot on the Xaosciects. Nonsense is the end of the conversation.

[keplercryptids]

I spent the afternoon arranging our books by size and color (and it’s so satisfying and looks amazing) and my partner came home and stared in shock at the bookcase and then said “i’m a librarian, you can’t do this.”

[keplercryptids]

him: you split up all the song of ice and fire books

me: yeah i know, they’re all primary colors, it’s perfect

him: [self-destructs]

[operativesurprise]

You’re a monster

[thetumblrofrassilon]

As a former bookstore employee, this hurts my soul. I mean, sure it looks nice, but how do you find anything?

[keplercryptids]

it has occurred me during this process that apparently not everyone thinks about books by what color they are? like, literally when i’m looking for a book, i picture it in my mind. i have a very…tactile experience with the books i read and idk! i thought everyone did that lol.

my partner was like “how will i find [this book] for instance” and i replied “easy, it’s purple” and he looked at me like i was a witch.

[lolotehe]

[jerico3193]

[frizz01percy]

this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies

[mmarkcohenn]

PSA

IF YOU ARE COSPLAYING A DISNEY PRINCESS AND YOU ARE GOING SOMEWHERE WHERE THERE ARE GOING TO BE KIDS THAT WILL COME UP TO TALK TO YOU

YOU!!!! CAN!!!! NOT!!!! BE!!!! ANTI!!!! SOCIAL!!!! TO!!!! THEM!!!!

FOR REAL, I JUST WATCHED A VIDEO OF A GIRL DRESSING UP AS ANNA AND SHE WENT TO HER LOCAL MALL

SHE WENT INTO THE DISNEY STORE

WHEN A LITTLE GIRL CAME UP TO HER AND TRIED TO TALK TO HER

THE COSPLAYER WALKED AWAY 

AND LOOKED AT THE LITTLE GIRL LIKE SHE WAS NUTS

THAT IS HORRIBLE

I USED TO DRESS UP AS SNOW WHITE FOR CHARITY EVENTS WITH CHILDREN

I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW AWKWARD IT WAS WHEN OUR ELSA DID NOT TALK TO CHILDREN

SHE WAS NOT INTERESTED IN TALKING OR BEING AROUND THE KIDS AND THAT MAKES THE KIDS UNCOMFORTABLE!!!

IF YOU ARE COSPLAYING A CHARACTER THAT IS POPULAR AMONG CHILDREN, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE BE NICE TO KIDS

TO THEM, THEY ARE ACTUALLY MEETING THIS CHARACTER THAT THEY LOVE OR KNOW

IT IS UP TO YOU TO NOT BE A DICK

[teenyfaeprince-blog]

You also gotta know that if you’re going somewhere where there will be children and you’re in a costume even slightly similar to a Disney character they will think you are that character. 

 My hair is dyed white and at last year’s Ren Fest I was dressed as a water nymph. So i was in all blue, with glittery blue heeled boots on. Personally, I would have never thought that I looked like Elsa. I had leggings on, not a dress. And no ice themed anything. But that didn’t stop the sweetest little princess from asking me if I was Elsa. 

 I’ll admit that I was thrown for a loop, since I thought I was a pretty convincing mermaid on land with my scale print leggings. But I’m not a dick so I quickly recovered and said I was her cousin. Kids are more than happy to accept that and she smiled then shyly ran back to her mom to tell her she met Elsa’s cousin. 

If you’re in a glittery costume of any sort, in a place where children will be, be prepared to be nice to them. Otherwise you’re just a jerk. No one likes jerks.

[xpuppetprincessx-deactivated201]

Don’t be a dick.

Seriously. If I go anywhere in ANY costume, no matter if I’m a princess, hero, or villain, I’m nice to the kids. They just wanna play!

[magical-girl-ilex]

I don’t even like kids, but one of the most rewarding cosplay moments I’ve had was interacting with littluns as Rose Quartz. Every kid got a hug if their parents said it was okay. Every kid got told that they were very special because they’re a human being. I’m looking forward to doing it again this year, because giving a kid a moment of genuine magic really is something else. It doesn’t hurt you to smile at a child.

[rampant-noodle]

When I cosplay Pearl I have precious little ones come up to me and you better bet I goof with them about how gross eating is or how loud amethyst is (and pretend to get a sooooo offended when they say someone else is their favorite gem)

You are making magic real for those kids in that moment and if you aren’t prepared for that, maybe think twice before cosplaying that character. I had a child completely frozen in disbelief and joy over seeing me, a character from a show they love, that’s power you have to wield responsibly.

[nooby-banana]

It’s not just with popular lady characters. My best little-kid-cosplay-moment was when I was cosplaying Thor (not lady Thor from the comics, my own version of genderbent MCU Thor). I was walking through the dealer’s hall and suddenly saw a gaggle of Tiny Avengers in those Walmart costumes barrelling towards me. They crowded me in excitement and asked where Loki was because they wanted to find him and beat him up (I told them to give him an extra punch from me when they found him), then all six tried to crawl into my lap when I said yes to a photo. Cutest thing ever. BE NICE TO KIDS WHEN YOU’RE IN COSTUME.

[fallnangelstandingby-blog]

//If you’re going to be cosplaying -any- character that children will recognize, BE NICE TO KIDS!!  To them, you -are- that character. And you have no right, what so ever, to destroy the illusion of what, to them, is a magical moment.

When I cosplay Batman, to little kids, I am Batman. And it is such an amazing experience to have kids run up to me and want a hug, and tell me about how when they grow up they want to fight bad guys too. I can’t fathom someone being so rude as to ignore them.

I have a friend who cosplays Han Solo, and a little girl was so excited to see him that when he knelt down to talk to her, she hugged onto him and didn’t want to let go for ten minutes.

Also, remember IF THERE IS A LOST CHILD AT A CONVENTION, AND YOU ARE COSPLAYING A PRINCESS OR A SUPER HERO, THE CHILD WILL GO TO YOU FOR HELP LONG BEFORE THEY THINK TO APPROACH A SECURITY OFFICER!!!  You have a duty to help that child! Help them calm down, escort them to the nearest safe zone, and inform a security officer that the child has misplaced their parents/guardians. -Never- use the term ‘lost child’ in front of the kid, it’s the parents who wandered off and got lost, not the child.

[shitposts-n-shenanigans]

Read this, then read it again.

[fireyalex]

this is why, no matter who I cosplay, I’m in character to everyone I’ll meet, whether they’re adults, kids, or teens like me. super important, honestly

[wheretheeternalare]

Why do people still say “this doesn’t fit my blog theme but I had to reblog anyway”? It’s almost 2018. Who gives a fuck. Who even has a coherent blog anymore

[pamisleyphd]

Reblog if you’ve never had a coherent blog and got no intention of starting that shit now

[canis-stuffs-deactivated2019070]

Sorry if it’s still a bit unclear. I don’t want to flood the whole canvas with texts 

; w ;

[fizzydog-deactivated20240325]

transphobes: if being trans is not a MENTAL ILLNESS then why do trans people commit suicide so often??? checkmate!!!

trans people:

[fizzydog-deactivated20240325]

a-are you for real or… or what…  it’s almost as if people who are facing oppression are more prone to becoming mentally ill/unstable and commit suicide…?????

[fizzydog-deactivated20240325]

wow you’re a fucking idiot

[fizzydog-deactivated20240325]

Where the

FUCK

did I mention the holocaust being comparable to transphobia, YOU BROUGHT UP THE ARGUMENT YOU’RE DISAGREEING WITH.

Are you really that fucking dense to think that oppression can only be considered oppression if people are LITERALLY BEING PUT IN CONCENTRATION CAMPS. do you not know what sexism is, do you not know what racism is. do you have braincells. 

Trans people are murdered for being trans and put in “correction therapy” to “fix” them from being trans. 

What do you mean “claiming” anyway, stop putting trans in quotation marks, it’s as if I called you a “person”, pretty fucking hurtful ain’t it.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*me @ the demon under my bed* scoot over i wanna cuddle 

[meowing-velociraptor]

*me @ the shadows in the corner* come. I require hugs.

[lone-standing-tuft]

*me @ the monster in the closet*

Time for a bedtime story

[toopaste]

*me @ the ghost that lives in my attic* im comin up there bitch and we’re gonna watch movies and discuss them

[damn-shawty]

*me @ the spooper that chills in my basement* bruh lets replay every goddamn zelda we have non-stop

[adorkablecatnamedkyoko-deactiva]

*me @ the spooky that sits outside my window* do you wanna come in and have tea, it must be cold out there.

[kangaroo-r00]

*me @ the banshee shrieking in the woods* hey can i yell with you ive had a bad day

[britishdaydreaminggirl]

*me @ Bloody Mary at 3am in the bathroom* Girls night! Girls night!

[the-witch-named-mavis]

*me @ the vampire outside my window* come In, I’m lonely

[fire-incarnate]

*me @ the creature chanting ominously in the corner* hey man you want the last of these cookies I made

[lightheartedsuggestion]

The world is a little happier with you in it.

[meaningfulsuggestion]

The world is a little brighter with you in it.

[cute-hypothetical-scenarios]

The world is a little sweeter with you in it.

[romanticmusings]

The world is a little softer with you in it.

[errant-paladin]

The world is a little bit more legendary with you in it

[magicalgirlsuggestions]

The world is a little more hopeful with you in it.

[winchestersuggestions]

The world is a little safer with you in it.

[sunlit-suggestions]

The world is a little warmer with you in it.

[infatuationssuggestion]

The world is a little more beautiful with you in it

[persistentsuggest]

The world is a little more worthwhile with you in it.

[firstlovesuggestions]

The world is a little more peaceful with you in it.

[pixiecodesnowbaz]

The world is a little more astounding with you in it.

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

2013 was five years ago let that sink in

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

[doritosandavocados]

PLOT TWIST: This was a shitpost made five years ago that we brought back in 2018 because now it’s funny in a different way.

[af-hverju]

me: why are you destroying earth!!!

aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak

me: thats fair i understand

[nerdypersonwithwings]

For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English

[af-hverju]

moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien

[languageoclock]

ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!

aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen

ich: das ist fair ich verstehe

[sprachtraeume]

ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.

[pory-gon-2]

ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!

aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken

ik: oh zo, ik snap het

[perilegs]

minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?

alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua

minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän

[polyglottica]

私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか？

宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです

私: なるほど、わかりました

[lingumaniac]

me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!

aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt

me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t

[somalang]

aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!

shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan

aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad

[zhanaform]

我：你们为什么在毁灭地球?！！

外星人：因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了

我：懂了，说得有道理

[natsui]

ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!

taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe

ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko

[katsudonski]

Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..

[belisencia]

tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!! người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu

[aphdoitsu-deactivated20170414]

Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.

[wednesdaythunder]

jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!

utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna

jag: rimligt, jag förstår

[useless-czechrepfacts]

Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?

Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát

Já: To je fér, to chápu.

[useless-polandfacts]

ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?

kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję

ja: rozumiem, w porządku

[vyrkann]

io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!

alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno

io: capisco, mi sembra giusto

[rad-and-sleepy]

Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?

Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.

Yo: te entiendo, es justo.

[haxyr3]

Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!

[jenroses]

A modern Rosetta stone.

[rachel-talks-about-this]

The official ad for Sans’ hoodie is fucking hilarious how am I seeing this just now (x)

[kika-ila]

Last May, with my best friend Lisosa, I drew water type Pokémons as mermaids! This is my part for the first generation!

[shubbabang]

[boxedvixen]

ITS SO CUTE I HAVE TO REBLOG IT AGAINN

[yaritzalikeszombies]

I WANNA BE THIS KIND OF PARENT

[solosclark]

#i was surprised this didnt end in some sort of murder #i’ve been on tumblr too long

[imcolinshea-blog]

“Ye”

[harblkun]

everyone else fought me i just expected you were going to fight me too

[savagefluff-deactivated20240408]

*gross sobbing*