My gender is like a phoenix

On this blog: Sex positivity (+ pro kink, sex work), inclusivity, self-curation, IRL harm committed is more important than fictional shit, against death or violence threats/bait and harassment 18+ content space (not always nsfw but often enough), minors trying to interact with nsfw topics will be blocked Umbral. Unpalatable Adult Queer Guy (25+) he/him or phoe/phoen/pheir. | Fandom, OCs & gettin' down

[twinkuraba]

I don’t care what someone’s fandoms are, what content they make, what they ship, anything like that, if there is evidence of IRL actions causing harm against actual people that you could be putting the focus on instead.

[northstareclipse]

The thing I keep getting stuck on with “addiction” discourse is that people will point to criteria like “using more than you want to / wanting to stop or cut back and being unable to” as if that settles the matter.

In the abstract? Sure. If someone is unhappy with their own habits and wants support changing them, they should be able to get that support.

But that’s often not how this plays out socially.

Often, nobody actually asks, “Are you okay with how much you’re using this?” It becomes “I don’t like how much you’re using this, so it’s a Problem, and if you say you’re okay with it, that just means you’re in Denial.”

At that point, the person’s own distress and agency have disappeared from the conversation. The observer’s discomfort has been laundered into a diagnosis.

That’s the part I object to. Not the idea that people can use or do things more than they want to. Obviously they can. I object to the bait-and-switch where language that’s supposedly about someone’s own sense of loss of control gets turned into a tool for other people to override their self-knowledge.

[meekzhyu]

composer!neku au design i did in november of '24 that i still kinda like. make neku even more emo than he is in 1, slap some angel wings on that bitch, and you got this

[roycohn]

we need to have a conversation about how the "everyone is 12" theory of politics now doesn't only apply to conservative men who want to kick the bad guys' asses and then go home and eat a steak their bangmommy made just for them (NO VEGGIES!!!) but also to adult women who are literally afraid of other people having sex and being sexy. it's like there's been this massive regression among women in their 20s where we've gotten rid of feminism and replaced it with a new form of purity politics that requires never saying anything bad about another women unless you find a new and creative way to call her a whore. the misuse of "she caters to the male gaze" as a new form of enlightened slut shaming, labeling any woman who wears a short skirt or has sex with a man as "not a girls' girl" and "a pick me," the intense overreaction to celebrity affairs or even just shit like the summer house mess where a woman is now dating another woman's ex even though there was no overlap and the "relationship" was just kind of a situationship that fizzled but now these little girls are online demanding both people involved in the new relationship lose their jobs and not get any brand deals, the panic over mildly sexual content in literally any capacity like ads or an instagram post in a crop top, the compulsion to link everything back to the epstein files, the monthly meltdown over sex scenes on tv and in movies. everyone is 12 and AFRAID of sabrina carpenter.

[roycohn]

a helpful guide

[roycohn]

and yeah i don't think it's a mistake that there are basically two ages a woman can be, which is a literal child whose brain isn't developed yet so nothing she does is ever her fault bc she is constantly in some state of being groomed by malevolent ((forces)) so she needs to be told what to do by an authority figure who knows better, or a disgusting monstrous crone (over 30) who wasted her fertile years being a girlboss so she should just pack up her dusty vagina and move into a home bc nobody will ever want her again and it's embarrassing for her to still be out there enjoying her life. it's just pathetic that so many women who consider themselves progressive and even feminist have internalized this dichotomy which is indistinguishable from the way right-wing men view them

[ultrainfinitepit]

All the Pride Angels I've made so far. You can find them individually at the links in my About Page.

[nonbinaryjudean]

radfems that sit around on this website and mope about how all women are soooo weak are literally undoing decades of feminist work. i miss when we told young girls that they can do anything boys can do. i miss when we said women can do anything. i miss basic normal ass feminism but no now everything is self pitying nonsense with zero understanding of modern science. girl get the fuck up you can do whatever you want forever. stop putting yourself in the exact same box that patriarchal society has built.

[chimerakisu]

ik nobody's talking about these songs anymore but I've been thinkin about this ship ever since ERB came out so... I call this "Confessions of a Rotten Ego Renegade Boy" because it's dumb and it fits them

genuinely obsessed w this concept now might draw these gay sillies more

[false-siffrin]

YOU'LL NEVER SEE IT COMING

bw version:

[sonwashed]

i spent two years after coming out working myself back into the closet; dressing as femininely as possible, wearing makeup, acting "femininely". essentially i tried to forcefem myself, and ended up COMPLETELY miserable.

why did i do this even though i knew deep down what i was? because of radfems. because of anti-masculinity and transandrophobia within my own community. i constantly felt like i had to apologise for being a man, and for being attracted to them. i overcompensated so much - "at least i'm a feminine man!" -> "at least i'm not a binary man!" -> "at least i'm not a man!"

even when people weren't being malicious, there was such a lack of masculine representation in queer spaces that i didn't physically know how to accept myself. i was more confused and self-hating than ever in my life.

so to have so many trans women on tumblr tell people like me "just try to be a girl", "being a girl is better", "masculinity is a prison" feels like it's just pushing similar people out there further into their own personal prison.

your masculinity is PERFECT. you do NOT have to apologise for being who you are. you deserve a place in this community.

[learn-how-to-love]

Ice cold take that’s somehow controversial on this hellsite but it’s actually equally extremely transphobic to say that all transmascs are secretly detrans TERFs in the making as it is to say that all transfems are secretly white supremacist misogynist incels. Bioessentialism isn’t totally fine and cool when it’s against the bad privileged trannies and all you’re doing is showing your bias in “defense” of another.

[roycohn]

stop saying "gen z brought back bush-era purity politics" i grew up in the bush era and even then people weren't saying that you're a sex addict for having boring marital sexual congress in the same house as your children. this is just plain unhinged

[prof-grace-aspen]

Literally almost every millennial I know has a memory of accidentally walking in on their parents or hearing their parents having sex. It's fucking normal. Human beings have sex. Your parents fuck. Get over it. Being weird about it isn't healthy.

[whatsnewalycat]

I really loved Robert Evans’s response to this

[aphrodite-gock]

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it

[iliothermia]

y'all remember when we glomped?

[faun-grove]

[indigonite]

Happy Homestuck Day to those who still celebrate it (me)

[quastions-i-dont-ask-on-main]

If you're a trans man/transmasc falling to the trap that transfems are your enemy 🫵 DON'T. Transfems are our friends and sisters/siblings in arms and generalization of an entire demographic due to one or two of them hating your identity is the wrong way to go about it. You also need to remember it's really easy to just open a blog or send an anon and claim you're a transfem and that all of your transfems friends hate transmascs. Stop listening to what some bigots on the internet say and make friends with transfems and you'll see believing they all suck is a pitfall trap that only lead you to dark places. Don't trust anyone that claims you're only safe with people that share your identity.

Literally all transfems I've met loved transmascs (specially because I was the first one they met) and we easily swapped tips and talked about being trans together with no issue. This divide is totally fabricated. Stop falling for it. Support your trans sisters and listen to their lives experiences NOW.

[learn-how-to-love]

Incredible work simultaneously blaming trans men for their own need to join teams that don’t align with their identity (or else end their careers entirely) while reaffirming the sexist structure of sports but like, wokely. I agree this and all “women’s teams” should sign trans women but like what are we doing here. Why are we acting like this is some kind of unforgivable misogynistic act that poor wombyn are going to be FORCED to play with a MAN (no it’s ok he’s trans so it’s actually super affirming to say that!!!) and not like. Focus on how it sucks that trans athletes have to make these kinds of choices. Wait I know why it’s bc hating transmasculine ppl is considered cool right now

[tboy-cock]

fascinating that trans men being barred from mens sports and having to either participate in women's or not participate at all is considered a privilege that we have over trans women and not fucking transphobia. more proof that they dont view us as trans

[tboy-cock]

also trans men who play on womens sports cant take testosterone, meaning that they cant transition in a way that most trans men want or need to. and trans men on t also typically cant play on mens sports. so not only are trans men often forced to either play on womens teams or not at all, but if they play on womens theyre barred from medical transition. real trans male privilege huh

[asterosian]

Does anyone else remember Mack Beggs, the trans guy wrestler who was forced to compete in his high school’s girls team and the only people mad about it were transphobes while the rest of us understood he would rather have been on the boy’s team? Why is it back then we could understand “oh, he’s on the girls team because he has no other choice” but now it’s “why is this MAN on the WOMEN’S team? Clearly he’s stealing a spot meant for a trans woman!” Or uh. Or he wants to play soccer. And he’s a trans man. And he’s not allowed on the men’s team. Because the United Soccer League’s rules state you have to join the team that corresponds to your assigned sex at birth.

Also if you read any statements made by Isaac Ranson himself, you’d know he’s not okay with being misgendered and that he researched the team to see if they would be accepting of him as a man before signing on. On Minnesota Aurora’s website they explicitly say they’re for “women, girls, and gender expansive people” and have the phrase “trans women are women” clearly on there. When the coach is quoted talking about Isaac she clearly uses he/him pronouns for him. This is a team who is actively trying to support a trans man not because they think he’s a woman and wouldn’t let a trans woman on if they could, but because they’re trans inclusive and stuck working within a shitty transphobic system just like he is.

Would I prefer he be on the men’s team? Absolutely. But the blame lies with the USL. Not him. Not Aurora. You don’t have to be a sports fan to understand this.

[sometiktoksarevalid]