Attempting to utilize negative reinforcement (removing an unpleasant stimulus) with men doesn’t really work either bc there’s almost nothing we can do to them that’s so unbearable that they’d voluntarily submit to our will to have us stop doing it rather than simply ignore it or walk away or escalate back onto us
Women don’t generally beat or rape their boyfriends and husbands into obedience, it’s incredibly rare to hear about them even threatening to let alone engaging in such behavior, and it would be too dangerous for most women to even try given how much larger and stronger the average male is
And most women will hesitate to truly yell or scream when upset because men are very good at getting just as loud back at whoever gets their hair up, and a yelling male is like a loaded gun
The only thing a woman can safely do that will drive men nuts is either repeatedly talking at them until they do what she wants (perceived as nagging / whining / manipulating) or something underhanded that somehow fucks with him or his belongings (pranks / sabotage / doing things badly on purpose)
The problem with that solution is that men will call themselves mischievous or goofy, but it really translates to them being sadistic by nature. They already generally think it’s funny to scare or upset women for no other reason than their own entertainment. They’ll film themselves doing jackass style torment of their wives and girlfriends just for the views, because they know other guys think it’s hilarious and love to see it.
Women can’t fuck with the men in their lives in a similar way without exposing themselves to the notion that it’s open season, fair game, and that because they started things now anything goes. Because men escalate. You can find thousands of videos on every platform that exists of men being exceptionally cruel unthinkably malicious and thoughtlessly destructive to the women in their lives, often with a hand-waivey excuse that she’s got a good sense of humor
All that is to say that there’s nothing a woman can do to negatively reinforce a man’s behavior without literally risking her life, and as the original post posits trying to use positive reinforcement (adding a pleasant stimulus) is literally just the patriarchy in action.
There’s nothing you can give a man as a reward for doing domestic labor that he doesn’t already think he’s entitled to. He thinks you owe him sex, he thinks you owe him smiles and praise and affection, he thinks you owe him love and loyalty and attention. He thinks it’s your job to feed and take care of him, and give him children and take care of those children.
Punishments (removing something good or introducing something bad) are a similar story, there’s only so far a woman can truly safely push even the nicest man before she puts her life on the line with her efforts to try and get him to step up and help her out.
Women generally aren’t abusive by nature, and so many are forced to beg and cajole the men in their lives to care enough to do the most basic chores and tasks around the house
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