utterly confused academia

“A morbid longing for the picturesque at all costs” -Donna Tartt, The Secret History.

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The funny thing is I act like my taste in books is mysterious, sophisticated and cultured when the truth is all it takes is a group of nerdy college or boarding school kids who are obsessively devoted to their studies beyond the point of violence and are unsurprisingly queer (at least 2/3 of them anyway) for me to develop an obsession.

[setsobsessions]

As a person who is dying for book recommendations: What is a book you picked up randomly that you heard nothing about previously that blew you away?

I feel like we all have at least one hidden gem we stumbled upon.

Please reblog with your books in the tags :)

[cassandrathevampyre]

If the Secret History was set nowadays, Bunny would annoy everyone with his duolingo lessons, Henry would physically get sick at the mention of any e-reader, Camilla would be a Lana del rey girly, Richard would listen to "this is me trying" while having insomnia, Charles would be a filmbro and judge anyone who hasn't seen Interstellar and Francis would have a crush on hot priest from Fleabag

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Sometimes I worry I’m not a nice person but then I remember R.F. Kuang wrote “Nice comes from the Latin word for “stupid”. We do not want to be nice.” and I go on with my day.

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One thing I’ve always loved about Donna Tart’s The Secret History is that random phrases have unnoticeable predictions about the future that you won’t ever notice unless you’ve read the book before and know the outcome.

One of my favourites is “She was the Queen who finished out the suit of dark Jacks, dark King, and Joker” used by Richard to describe Camila. Not only is she one of the most complex characters, but also one people tend to forget and underestimate. The truth is, Camila is one of the most important characters in this story and plays an important role in the ending.

By being the only girl in the group, she at some point attracts the attention of every single one of the boys, except for Francis, who isn’t interested but still cannot deny her appeal. Through the book, Richard gives many hints of his attraction towards her, so does her brother, Charles, and obviously Henry. It is Henry’s interest in Camila that causes Charles’ anger and ultimately the tension that separates the group further after Bunny’s death.

Therefore, almost in an unnoticeable way, it is Camila that causes the downfall of them all, finishing out the suit of dark Jacks, the King, and the Joker.

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

Nothing like my usual posts but I just finished Babel by R.F. Kuang and I’m in a book hangover so I need something new to read.

If you know any books with gay characters, murder and dark academia vibes, or similar to the books I usually post about drop the title in my ask box pls.

(I also like historical fiction, thrillers, fantasy and occasionally romance, so if you have any favourites on those genres drop them too)

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

It angers me that people know The Secret History for its aesthetic but barely talk about the amazing writing. Most of the famous quotes are in Latin or related to it but people miss out on other quotes that are simply breathtaking. Never in my life have I felt as seen as when I started The Secret History for the first time and read “I liked the idea of living in a city — any city, especially a strange one — liked the thought of traffic and crowds, of working in a bookstore, waiting tables in a coffee shop, who knew what kind of solitary life I might slip into? Meals alone, walking the dogs in the evenings; and nobody knowing who I was.” Never. And yes, “Beauty is terror. Whatever we call beautiful, we quiver before it” is a nice quote, but this, it makes you feel seen. It is literature at its finest.

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

I never asked where he went, worried he wouldn’t ask me to follow.

M.L. Rio, If We Were Villains

And in the end, when it came to it, James left and didn’t ask Oliver to follow. Not because he didn’t love him, but because he loved him too much.

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

“Per aspera ad astra. I’d heard a variety of translations, but the one I liked best was Through the thorns, to the stars.”

Since I first read If we were Villains by M.L. Rio I’ve always found this quote to be the one of the most heartbreaking ones. I can’t help but imagine Oliver in prison, every night, repeating that mantra over and over. Swearing to himself that he’ll get through his sentence, what he considers his metaphorical thorns, because he needs to. Because only then can he reach his James, his star. And in the end, when he’s passed the thorns, when everything is going as it should, there’s no star. There’s no James and therefore no reason anymore. He’s lost.

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“...she'd like a change of scenery. To change the ideas, as the French would say. To get out of this place which has always been her home, but which feels more and more like a prison.”

Bridget Collins, The Betrayals

“Besides I think it's good to change the place where one sleeps from time to time. I believe it gives one more interesting dreams.”

Donna Tartt, The Secret History

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

“Forgive me, for all the things I did but mostly for the ones that I did not.”

Donna Tartt, The Secret History

“How tremendous the agony of unmade decisions.”

M.L. Rio, If We Were Villains

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

Me adding a new dark academia book to my overflowing (and mostly unread) collection:

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I’m so tired of people discussing what’s the greatest truth Donna Tartt wrote in The Secret History when it’s obviously this one

“You want to know what Classics are?" said a drunk Dean of Admissions to me at a faculty party a couple of years ago. "I'll tell you what Classics are. Wars and homos.”

[utterlyconfusedacademia]

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When Donna Tartt said “After all, the appeal to stop being yourself, even for a little while, is very great.”

And when Bridget Collins said “I'd do almost anything not to have to be myself any more.”