[sandandglass]

[vetmedirl]

God bless nurses forever

[dynamite5ftjewishbitch]

[tlirsgender]

Boot lickers will listen to punk music and "agree" with it bc they don't know they're being made fun of

[tlirsgender]

Like......... Sir you're part of the machine that's being raged against you are aware of this yes?

[king-fatal-deactivated20200203]

If you catch a republican listening to greenday you get to steal their kneecaps.

[moami]

if you find bones in the forest, sit a bit and listen. they are old and have some good stories to tell. maybe they’ll teach you a spell or two, or explain where the water on our planet came from.

if you find bones by the ocean, run. don’t look back. run, faster, faster. the sea may love you but there are nights where she knows neither mercy nor science, and the bones warn you only once.

[torrythetorry]

boi if you find bones call the police i hate this website so much

[moami]

this is a piece of creative writing, in case you couldn’t tell from the fact that real bones don’t usually go hey lil’ mama lemme whisper bony secrets in your ear or warn you of the incoming tides like a calcified weather frog.

[acecroft]

Practical Magic (1998) dir. Griffin Dunne

[brittany]

Practical Magic (1998), dir. Griffin Dunne

[juilletdeux]

Hass Idriss | She Rises at Dusk

[holdmecloseandfast]

Put these on my body right now please

[cillianmurphy]

I AM ABSOLUTELY LOSING MY MIND AFTER READING THIS PLEASE READ IT

[cillianmurphy]

READ PART TWO AND THREE BELOW !!!!!

[artemis-the-sinister]

This is a whole season of tv here

[argumate]

if this isn’t vicar of Dibley I’ll eat someone’s hat

[yomikoreadsbooks]

What even is this? This is a whole novel and then some!

[lizaliveunenchanted]

I’m not crying your crying

[taylorswifh]

third day of italian quarantine: everything is closed, everyone is at home and so... WILD BOARS ARE IN MY TOWN WITH THEIR BABIES!!!! i’m laughing so hard

[dopo-magari-lo-cambio]

In my hometown a random horse appears.

[lastvalyrian]

There’s a horse. LOOSE. during QUARANTINE

[mockwa]

🐯 🐯 🐯

[bunjywunjy]

good morning everyone have an absolutely furious mongoose

[ari-nemera]

It’s cuter when you recognize that the lion with visible spots is a juvenile. There’s a very high chance the other lion that runs over to investigate is the MOTHER.

The first lion is asking for comfort because she was given a big spook!!! and she needs mommy to tell her it’s safe and ok!!!! (What’s cuter is that mommy clearly reassures her, and goes on to take the parent role of ‘deal with the scream rat in order to protect my large and easily frightened daughter’)

this is all in all an adorable video 10/10

[jooshthepunished-deactivated202]

SHUT

[bunjywunjy]

actually you’re completely right that the original lion is a juvenile, but it’s a male! his size and the fact that he still has some baby spots left also indicate that he’s a very YOUNG juvenile, equivalent to a human preteen!

so really what’s happening here is a fantastic mother dashing outside with a broom to defend her 13-year-old son from the angry opossum that he just found in the trash can while taking out the garbage.

[mugwomps]

And quite clearly neither know what to do, really.

[gahdamnpunk]

Siri, what is white feminism?

[blackfemmejeanvaljean]

siri explain classism

[owlcitytweets]

[dykecosette]

1. It’s funny to me when people think Owl City is a band and not just one nerd who makes amazing stuff by himself

2. A lot of these facts are just like. Of course, of course that’s true, what an autistic icon.

[bunjywunjy]

Could i please get a small mammal cursed bio fact if u have one

the grasshopper mouse of the southwestern United States looks like a standard house mouse but is almost entirely carnivorous and is known to kill and consume everything from less homicidal mice to goddamn rattlesnakes, which they kill by jumping onto the snake’s back and gnawing through its spine

[bunjywunjy]

behold…. a Bastard

[lectorel]

Cat OS running on mouse hardware.

[xekstrin]

they also howl! 

[okami-zero]

Wolf OS running on mouse hardware.

[bunjywunjy]

I’m glad you all love this tiny rodentious bastard mammal, but I can see we’re going to need to have the conversation about hiding things in the tags

[teapotsahoy]

It also metabolises scorpion venom as a painkiller

[bright-moksha]

[passnavigoannuel-deactivated202]

thank u barbie for showing bi/lesbian solidarity

[passnavigoannuel-deactivated202]

thank u barbie for paving the way to bi/lesbian/trans solidarity

[goodbirb]

Don’t forget bi and pan rights !

[krowbby]

this reply is so funny to me. sorry straights™, barbie is part of the GCU (gay cinematic universe) now

[boxlizard]

reblog if you support the gay cinematic universe

[days-of-reading]

“Not fabulous.”

Sophocles, Elektra (trans. by Anne Carson)

[songs-of-the-dark]

This reads like an ancient Greek Austin Powers movie

[arepii]

Slave- no fear

Orestes- Unless I reconsider

Slave - One fear

[nightofthecreeps]

I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke and he said, “let me call another lawyer”, and that lawyer said yes. 

JOHN MULANEY SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE 02/29/2020

[paranoidgemsbok]

i hate when people are like UHM FRUIT ISNT ACTUALLY GOOD FOR YOU IT HAS A LOT OF SUGAR like shut the fuck up go eat your nutritionally complete meal powder you bought off a fucking kickstarter project okay let me enjoy a clementine 

[zooophagous]

God SAME.

It even goes beyond that, like if I ever eat a raw vegetable for my own health I always get shit like “yeah but the dressing is super bad for you so you canceled it out by eating ranch with it” or “carrots have tons of carbs they’re basically sugar”

And I’m just like for real? I can’t have a baby carrot with ranch? I can’t have some fucking grapes? If the only truly “”“pure”“” food I can eat is raw celery and a daily multivitamin I’d quite honestly and truly rather just be dead.

[dredsina]

Just because something has a lot of calories or sugar doesn’t mean it’s bad for you. Veggies and fruits have a ton of vitamins and minerals and fiber and you NEED calories for like…your body to work. So who cares if you smother them in ranch. Just don’t dip a clementine in ranch

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

I’m gonna dip a clementine in ranch.

[quinzelade]

Why do you hate Jesus

[hokuto-ju-no-ken]

Jesus is my homeboy but God has a lot to answer for and my rebellion will continue until he does so.

[bumblebeerror]

Nothing about this post prepared me for that raw ass last line.