The Subplot Sideshow

three wips, soon to be four three cats, soon to be four

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I know the Percy Jackson films don't follow the plot of the books, and I know Annabeth had brown hair, and I know they're meant to be tweens and blah blah.

AT LEAST THOSE FILMS WERE ENTERTAINING!

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So there's this Chrome extension called "Language Reactor" that is sort of infamous in language-learning spaces. It has plenty of functionality, but its main selling point is that if you watch YouTube videos in your target language, it shows the target language's subtitles alongside generated English subtitles.

And yes, I do use this extension as intended. Most of the time.

But, as an added bonus, this functionality also allows me, a connoisseur of non-English dramas that are often readily available on YouTube but rarely have English subtitles, to watch them with English subtitles that are much better than YouTube's auto-generated gibberish.

So, if you've ever found yourself scouring YouTube for a video with English subtitles, consider "Language Reactor"

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My God, the world would be exponentially better for women if men just knew how to be by their damn selves.

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It should be mandatory for all mystery authors to pull an Agatha Christie at the end of their careers and disappear under mysterious circumstances.

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I love a good forehead or neck kiss as much as the next girl, but there is something so intimate about a kiss to the inside of the wrist, and we don't see enough of them.

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Working your way through prompt lists for writing exercises is great practice! But, if you really want to test your writing chops, consider going to TV Tropes and grabbing 5 tropes at random and writing a 5 thousand word epic that combines them.

Good luck!

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As an elder writer who's flip-flopped between pantser and plotter over the years, I'd like to give some advice to the youngins that may seem very obvious, but I definitely wish I'd been given as a young, inexperienced writer.

You don't need to fill out that entire character sheet.

As a young writer, I'd spend hours completing these character sheets that I was told would somehow make my characters "feel real". I'd spend hours researching to answer the "What is their favourite genre of music?" question or finding the perfectly quirky hobby that would somehow make my character human, even though these fun facts would only be mentioned in passing. But, by the time I had completed the sheets for every single one of my characters, I would be so burnt out that I wouldn't want to continue the project.

Through the years, I've perfected my own "character sheet" with the bare necessities to actually get writing, because that should be the goal of these damn character sheets. And, if a character mentions their favourite music genre, it's quickly thrown in a notes document so I can return to actually writing. You only need to do what you need to do to get writing. Anything else is optional. So, if you don't have the energy, time or patience for optional, skip it.

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The 8 hour-long episodes every 5 years streaming formula has put some of our favourite tropes on the endangered list, and we need to start organising conservation efforts immediately!

How are we supposed to believe these people are a found family when they've barely had a moment to talk to each other between plot, plot and more plot? There's no slow burn if there's no time to be slow. Enemies-to-lovers feels more like strangers-who-bicker-to-instant-lovers.

Where are the protests? Where are the donation drives? We need to take action before it's too late!

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I'm sorry, what the fuck do you mean there are people who don't believe the pyramids are tombs? Why do you think the mummies were put there? Decor?

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When I say "I could believe in Atlantis", I need everyone to understand that I could believe that there was once a kingdom that maybe had an impressive military, maybe didn't, and maybe was a bit more advanced than the other kingdoms, maybe wasn't, and, due to an earthquake, a tsunami or a volcano, it was destroyed. And then the story of this kingdom "sinking" became this fairytale, and Plato was like, "Hmmm, this is a great learning opportunity", and started spouting stuff about the gods.

I could not believe Atlantis had electricity, or magic, or was a kingdom of merpeople, or whatever other conspiracy theory.

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Not to brag, but I was onto this ice hockey thing way before it was mainstream — way before Heated Rivalry. I'm talking The Mighty Ducks trilogy days.

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Oh look! A cop show. Followed by a hospital drama. Followed by a show about firefighters. Followed by a cop show. Followed by a hospital drama. Followed by a show about firefighters. Followed by a cop show. Followed by a hospital drama. Followed by a show about firefighters. Followed by a cop show. Followed by a hospital drama. Followed by a show about firefighters. Followed by a cop show. Followed by a hospital drama. Followed by a show about firefighters...

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Yeah, Found Family is great and all. But have you ever considered Reunited Found Family?

They were once the best of friends, almost like family, but personal drama and differences tore them apart. They are forced to, once again, come together for a purpose, but there's all this tension and heartache they need to work through if they hope to succeed.

Hits. Every. Time.

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Look, I understand why people have to censor the word "rape" with "grape" or, God forbid, 🍇; censorship on the Internet is a massive and growing problem, especially on social media sites, and people need to be able to talk about these issues.

But, for fucks sake, we already have euphemisms that are more appropriate and applicable than a damn emoji or a word that completely diminishes the seriousness of the subject.

Oh, I can't say "He sexually assaulted her"? Well, what about "He took advantage of her"? Or "He forced himself on her"?

Oh, "She murdered him" will get me banned? Well, what about "She took his life"? Sounds better than "She unalived him", doesn't it?

Oh, you want me to say "pew pew" in place of "gun"? How about I say "firearm" instead?

I fucking wish adults could discuss adult topics on the Internet without having to devolve into "baby speak" to get around some AI censorship bot. But sadly, this is the reality. The least we could do is choose phrases that are respectful and topical!

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There's that one scene in the One Piece live-action where the Arlong pirates are partying, and there's this generic hip-hop/club beat that honestly sounds like someone on the show just typed "Copyright Free Club Music" into YouTube and grabbed the top result.

And every time I remember that scene, I get a little angry; this show was the perfect opportunity to blend sea shanties into whatever other genre and create a distinct, in-world sound! But nooooooo!

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I honestly have this reluctant respect for authors who write the exact same book with the exact same characters over and over and over again, package and market them with some slight differences and then go on to sell them to millions of adoring fans for millions of dollars.

Yes, they've done away with creativity, but they've somehow won at capitalism and mass-consumerism as an "artist". Respect.

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The 10th Circle of Hell: Being enraged by a show I only watched out of desperation for something to watch.