Writing from a Void

a very late writblr tumblog

[tahbhie]

Creating Emotionally Devastating Scenes.

Crafting a scene that earns the total sympathy of your readers can be challenging, but it's not impossible. Most emotionally devastating scenes fail at two things, but when these are done right, the results can be powerful.

⚪ The Important Concepts for Writing an Emotionally Devastating Scene

1. The Build-Up,

2. Breaking the Dam.

Before I explain these concepts, let me share a case study.

⚫ Case Study

I wrote a story about a young orphan named Jackie and her younger brother. Their village was burned down, leaving them as the only survivors.

For the next few chapters, readers followed their painful journey and their struggle to survive. The younger brother had a heart problem, and Jackie vowed to become a cardiologist to save him.

She was very ambitious about it, but at the time, it was very ironic. Later in the story, when they encountered a tragic living condition with a family, the brother died while telling his sister how much he missed their parents.

When her brother was fighting for his life, she was sent out of the room, only to be let in again to see his cold, lifeless body.

⚪ Explanation of Concepts

1. The Build-Up

The build-up is extremely important when you aim to convey strong emotions. Here's a secret: if you plan for a scene with strong emotions, start leaving breadcrumbs from the very beginning of the story.

Take the previous case study. I carefully built up their journey so people could easily relate and feel the pain of the older sister during her brother's sudden death.

You need to give the situation enough reason to feel utterly hopeless and devastating. Gradually cultivate the tension until it's ready to let loose.

⚫ Understanding the Use of Breadcrumbs.

Breadcrumbs in stories ensure you utilize the time you have to build up certain emotions around your characters.

At the beginning of my story, Jackie’s fate was already pitiable, but she survived every hurdle. This gave the readers enough to feel for her while still leaning away from the outcome. When I built enough, I introduced her brother's sudden death.

Hence, leave your breadcrumbs while leaning away from the outcome.

⚪ How to Properly Leave Breadcrumbs

When building up your story, consider these elements:

☞⁠ Character Relatability: The characters need to be realistic to draw readers into the story. This helps readers invest themselves in your story.

☞⁠ Realistic Emotional Pain: Just as characters need to be relatable, their emotions need to be realistic and not appear forced.

☞⁠ Create a Strong Emotional Attachment: Give them something they care about or that has the power to ruin their lives in any way. It could be something that makes them happy or something their happiness relies on. When it's time, snatch it away without remorse.

☞⁠ Have a Backstage Struggle: This struggle keeps readers occupied, so they won't see the outcome coming. For example, Jackie’s constant struggle to find food and shelter keeps readers engaged while the impending tragedy looms in the background.

☞⁠ Attach Believable Elements: For a realistic character, emotion, and struggle, attach believable elements. It could be death, ailments, sickness, disorder, disappointment, failure, etc.

Now that we've covered the build-up, let's move on to the next crucial part.

2. Breaking the Dam

This is when you make your readers feel the strong emotions alongside your characters. All the tension you’ve been building up is released, making all emotions come into play.

☞⁠ Break Your Strong Attachment: Cut off your strong attachment from your character when they least expect it or at a point when they couldn't use more struggles (i.e when they are helpless).

This will not only evoke readers’ emotions but also pique their curiosity as they wonder how the character will survive the situation.

☞⁠ Description of Sensory Details to Invoke Emotions: The advice of "show, don't tell" will be really helpful here. It's crucial to ensure that the final execution matches the build-up.

A well-crafted build-up can fall flat if the emotional release isn't handled effectively. To avoid this, blend the climax seamlessly into the narrative, making it feel natural and impactful.

Reblog to save for reference! 💜

[thewritingumbrellas]

Writing advice from my uni teachers:

If your dialog feels flat, rewrite the scene pretending the characters cannot at any cost say exactly what they mean. No one says “I’m mad” but they can say it in 100 other ways.

Wrote a chapter but you dislike it? Rewrite it again from memory. That way you’re only remembering the main parts and can fill in extra details. My teacher who was a playwright literally writes every single script twice because of this.

Don’t overuse metaphors, or they lose their potency. Limit yourself.

Before you write your novel, write a page of anything from your characters POV so you can get their voice right. Do this for every main character introduced.

[writerlyn]

This is legit good writing advice, especially the first bullet point! In playwriting class we did a bit where every bit of dialogue had to be an accusatory question and it was glorious.

[thechekhov]

I've had this little idea in my head for a while now, so I decided to sit down and plot it out.

Disclaimer: This isn't meant to be some sort of One-Worksheet-Fits-All situation. This is meant to be a visual representation of some type of story planning you could be doing in order to develop a plot!

Lay down groundwork! (Backstory integral to the beginning of your story.) Build hinges. (Events that hinge on other events and fall down like dominoes) Suspend structures. (Withhold just enough information to make the reader curious, and keep them guessing.)

And hey, is this helps... maybe sit down and write a story! :)

[sauntervaguelydown]

If you have the opportunity to travel back several hundred years in time and you want to make a quick buck so you can set yourself up for success, the most valuable and lightest to carry things you can bring are:

1. Stainless steel needles

2. Cinnamon

Everything else is context dependent but those two will be winners in 99% of situations

[sauntervaguelydown]

Imagine you have five minutes to load up on valuable shit before the time vortex drags you in. Maybe you’ve got a backpack or a bag handy. What are you grabbing?

First of all. WATER. You don’t know what the water situation is going to be! There might be cholera! Bring as much as you can reasonably carry in the lightest container you have.

Bring matches. Ability to boil water may save your life. And if you don’t need them for that, they’re lightweight & valuable anyway.

NEEDLES. Obviously.

Whatever is in your spice cabinet, sure, but prioritize saffron, vanilla, cinnamon, ginger, “exotic” spices. Pepper and salt are high value too. If you know you’re going somewhere inland, salt goes up in value. If you know you’re going somewhere in Asia/Asia Minor, “exotic” spices are less expensive there. (Not vanilla though, that’s ALWAYS expensive).

Good kitchen knives. Don’t underestimate the value of modern steel. Plus, they can be weapons in a pinch.

Do you have pepperspray? Bring that. Life was dangerous for travelers, and the ability to down a grown man without touching him is invaluable.

Depending on when you’re going back to, glass beads can actually be more valuable than most stones. Medieval Europe prior to 1200? Just load the fuck up on any beads you can find, go crazy. But maybe you don’t know where or when you’re going to end up! If you’ve got any Good Jewelry, grab that for sure. Even costume jewelry with good metal work is worth it. Honestly, just swipe the whole pile into your bag and sort it out later.

Now, if you have the time, consider your clothes. Put on your sturdiest, most reliable shoes. You may have to walk a Long Way.

If you want people to think you’re a woman, you’re going to need to cover your hair in most places. A plain or white colored scarf is a safe bet. There’s no way of knowing exactly what this will communicate to the people who first see you, but it’s likely to be innocuous. Being perceived as “immodest” is more dangerous than being perceived as a widow or something.

Cloth was worth more in the past (by an astronomical amount) but modern clothing is shittier. If you’re the type of person who has fabric lying around, or big long scarves, you could just get there and pay someone to make you a better outfit. In terms of what you’re going to wear to touch down, though—if you’re headed for the Middle Ages in Eurasia, bring a good coat. Just carry it. There was an ice age happening, you don’t know what’s coming. If you have more than five minutes, change into something that is loose, not form fitting, and put on a belt. For girls, a long t shirt dress may be ideal. For men, I think a dress shirt with long tails over jeans. You’re going to come across as foreign anyway, it’s not a big deal if you look strange, as long as you don’t look alien.

You’re running out of room I your bag now! If you have the space, think about food. Bring high caloric density food, whatever you can fit in your bag. Things that require little prep are best. Junk food, pasta, power bars, Nutella, nuts. Food is not cheap where you’re going.

Now, realistically, wherever you go you’re not going to speak the language. Even if you go back to the same place where your current language originated, they’re going to be speaking the middle version of that, or worse. You’re going to be at the mercy of strangers, who are likely to be xenophobic as fuck. However, you have good skin probably—you probably wear sunscreen, and never had smallpox, and got enough to eat all your life. You’re going to resister almost anywhere as some level of nobility, which makes it weird that you’re alone and traveling with merchandise. I can’t tell you what conclusion they’ll come to. If you’re in Europe, indicate that you’re a Christian and that will smooth things over a LOT. Don’t underestimate how much this will help. If they start asking you whether you believe in transubstantiation, it is MUCH safer to say yes. and if that doesn’t work, get the pepper spray. 

Hopefully at this point you have your own plans and you can take it from here.

[frownyalfred]

Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:

Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.

You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.

When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.

A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)

Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)

The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.

Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.

Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.

[panakina]

As someone who spent over a decade catering luxury events, let me add some back of house info:

These events are almost always open bar. They're not trying to make their money back on alcohol. They want you to drink and eat and donate generously.

If there are cocktails, there will be at most two on offer, pre-made in large tubs. You cannot order a different version, it is what it is.

There are two types of events: cocktail style or seated. The first includes roaming hors d'oeuvres or a fancy buffet with tiny plates called a grazing station. For a long night, the roaming food will get a little bigger throughout the evening and have a 'main' at some point based around a protein.

A seated event will usually be more structured and may include multiple courses. Silver service is not in vogue anymore. You are likely to get either alternating meals brought to you like at a wedding, or served banquet style. A good caterer can get a plate to everyone in a 300 person event in about three minutes.

Drunk people are the same no matter how expensive their suits. They still laugh too loud, spill their drinks and slip on the dance floor. They are usually less embarrassed about doing coke in the bathrooms.

A full scale event that starts at 6pm will have staff arriving at noon to begin setup. Earlier if there's a light show or pyrotechnics. Typically venues don't just have 30 tables and three hundred chairs lying around, let alone table cloths, chair covers, etc. It's all rented and brought in on the day. Bands and DJs will be running audio tests in the background throughout.

Most heritage buildings that host these things, like museums and manor houses, aren't really designed for them. They might put down mats so you're not walking in stilettos over two hundred year old wooden floors, the kitchens are weirdly far away, and there are not enough taps. There is never anywhere for staff to sit, so if you open the wrong door you might find half a dozen waiters sitting on upturned milk crates in a room full of million dollar paintings, eating the left over bread.

Really old buildings don't have enough bathrooms, which means the staff will be sharing with the guests.

Clean up starts the second the event ends, if not sooner. Unattended glasses will start to disappear first, then table decorations. When the timer ticks over, the lights come back on and exhausted staff strip the tables, pack up dirty glasses and unopened wine bottles and have to Tetris it all into the back of a van. The venue is booked for that day only, so everything has to be gone before anyone can go home. A large event that finishes at midnight might take until 3am to be cleared away.

These are very long and physically demanding nights for anyone working them. The staff all get to know each other, and will absolutely notice someone trying to sneak in wearing a borrowed uniform. They are not being paid enough to care.

[sermna]

guardian angels are born from tragedy.

[sermna]

This was inspired by a dream I had where a school had been cursed and was haunted by dangerous entities (and subsequently abandoned).

Would-be urban explorers were warded off by the spirit in the pool. Ignoring her warning and passing by her marked a point of no return

She was a former student killed in the aftermath of the curse, hence the title 🖤

[say-cyke-rn]

what if u hold raptor like chicken, like this

[i-draws-dinosaurs]

But they have sharp feet! I would recommend holding them as demonstrated by Jed Taylor:

[kedreeva]

I wouldn’t recommend holding them like that, as someone who owns peafowl and has owned many other kinds of fowl that are very raptor-like in movement and build and likely behavior (especially peafowl, who will group hunt larger animals like snakes).

The problem is that the feet are not just sharp, they are strong as hell for jumping/launching themselves. Literally peafowl at least are strong enough to break their own legs if you give them a platform to push off of (your hands) and no space to stand (tucked under your arm). When I was very new to keeping peafowl, no one told me this, and I attempted to pill a bird in my lap, to have a secure hold on her like I would have for chickens, and she snapped her own leg trying to stand up. Transport caging for peafowl has to be designed such that the bird can just barely stand, with their head ducked- any taller and they can get the space to flush and break their necks or spines, any shorter and they can push against the top and break legs.

There’s the option some people use where they just. bag them.

But given sharp or pointy enough claws, I don’t think that’s likely to be an option; although put a pin in this, because a leather or other small “vest” to control the grasping front claws might be possible.

They also cannot be held or carried by their legs, as they can (and will, given the chance) dislocate their hips. They cannot be carried by the wings, or they will dislocate their wings at the shoulder.

I have also watched vet techs trying to carry my birds like the photo shows, and it’s extremely unsteady to them and does not feel safe- the birds are usually frantically looking for a way down, and they panic when released because they don’t have stable footing at the start, so they’re more likely to scratch you getting down. It’s also harder to release them forward of you, when their tail (the thing which they use for balance) is the last part released. It is a thing of comedy trying to watch them handle large game birds/phesants like this, because it doesn’t work well.

I’m pretty sure that the illustrated hold is for use with birds of prey, whose skeletal structures are build different- they have grasping claws you don’t want to have grasp anything, they have practically upright rib cages/keels. If you restrain them like this, you actually do probably have control of their wings, and holding in front of them, you’ve probably got your hand on their keel, instead of their crop.

This is a bald eagle skeleton (left) vs a peacock skeleton (right)

Way more horizontal center of gravity, with the wings very forward, you don’t even really need to tip the bird back to hold its back against your chest. If you hold a long, horizontal bird like in the photo… it’s probably gonna fall forward or try to get forward, and you don’t have nearly the same control over the wings as you do with a bird of prey, not to mention your hand is now grasped over their crop instead of a keel, which can do damage.

Here’s a velociraptor skeleton

again way more horizontal, and you have not just rear feet but front feet to manage, and whereas a fowl beak won’t really do that much damage, a raptor snout is full of teeth.

So how do you carry a 30lb animal with sharp, non-grasping feet AND hands, that’s built like fowl and not birds of prey, and has a face full of teeth instead of a beak?

I would definitely agree hooding them is a good idea. In fact, they used to hood peafowl to transport them, and the birds would perch on poles and be carried rather than try to jump down, no restraint necessary! I would also add that a small vest or other body restraint can be used to keep the hands/wings in check if they have grasping hands.

I made a video demonstrating all three- the “idiot baby” hold and the perch hold, which are both used with our friendly birds that don’t mind being carried (like how you can carry a bird of prey on a leather glove if they’re trained), and then the actual hold for all other peafowl.

The last hold does three important things. 1) It controls the legs facing away from you (like the illustrated hold, or like bird of prey holds do), but with the important difference that they can get no leverage with them and puts no weight on them, and so cannot hurt their legs. 2) it controls the wing at the wrist, not the elbow, by putting your arm over all of the main wing bones instead of over one joint and bendable feathers that can slide free. 3) It faces them backward, so they have to go INTO your hold MORE if they’re trying to escape, rather than out of your hold like with a forward carry. Also when faced forward, they seem to want to join in on the walking or are actively looking for a way down, and struggle to control their forward movement- carried backward, they seem to mostly be Confused and not sure what to do about it. The other advantage here is that, if you have your legs held in the right place (at the ankle), you CAN carry the bird one-handed with this carry, leaving you free to open doors or manipulate caging/transport stuff. Not that you SHOULD handle large animals alone, including and especially dino raptors.

Combined with a hood to prevent them from seeing you as something to Bite, or possibly some sort of soft, breathable muzzle integrated into the hood if just a hood doesn’t work, it should prevent injury. I would still imagine that raptor handling gear has protections built in to prevent incidental scratches, and that they aren’t just handling a velociraptor in a tshirt and jeans.

I also made a video of carrying my very most tolerant bird the way the illustration suggested, just to make sure I wasn’t making things up. I did forget to put my hand up at first, but even after I did, there’s SO little control with that hold on a large bird. I didn’t explain what I was filming to my partner beforehand, and when he stopped the camera the second time he asked “what the hell was that? a hold that sucks ass?”

I will grant you that is my first time trying to hold a peafowl like that, mostly because I have held a LOT of large fowl in the last 20 years, and a forward carry… well, sucks ass for fowl-shaped creatures compared to bird of prey shaped creatures. it LOOKS nicer to someone watching, but it’s way more hassle.

[manyblinkinglights]

Thank you so much for the expertise and demonstration videos!

[miatsai]

writing and craft and stuff

"Mia do you have any writing advice pet peeves"

why, yes i do. presented without too much comment:

it's a scam because you need to use both things to tell a story effectively. if it's all show, your novel is going to be over 200k words and half of it will probably be a travelogue. if it's all tell, we'll have a hard time getting into the characters' thoughts and feelings. show, don't tell exists to help newer writers explore what's going in their characters' minds. it's not a hard and fast rule once you've learned how to characterize and give context. so please, do some telling. do some beautiful telling.

[tkingfisher]

The opening chapter of Spindle’s End by Robin McKinley is, in fact, an info dump. But it is so gorgeously told that you don’t CARE. In less-skilled hands, it would be one of those grim backstory slogs where they tell you all about the kingdom and how magic works, but it it beautiful, it sparkles on the page, and there is a great deal of telling well-told.

[brehaaorgana]

I don't think it's actually a scam, actually.

I think instead that:

A) many people just don't get this explained beyond the pithy quote, which means that

B) many people don't realize the earliest references we have to this concept of show don't tell are from playwrights and dramatists, which definitely impacts why this would be so important! I cannot stress that part enough!

Of course it matters that a play should avoid simply telling you everything! It's a play!

Mark Swan, who kept "Show, Not Tell," above his writing desk, in his 1927 primer "You can Write Plays":

Events that have happened in the past, which cannot possibly be acted in the present, must be 'told about.' The telling of them is the only narrative or description that should be in a play. Make the 'telling' as brief and crisp as possible, without being too obvious. See if the facts can be told in a scene, or scenes, which give the actors a chance for emotional work, thus getting an emotional response from the audience while it is absorbing facts - in other words sugar-coat the pill." [...] "In the planting of characterization, motivation and relationship: don't 'talk it,' ' show it.' Express these things in acted scenes, not in narrative or description."

Don't talk it. Show it.

This is literally just Wikipedia but like, surely it's obvious that scripts should account for actors acting, yes?

The Craft of Fiction (1921), British essayist Percy Lubbock writes of picture vs drama

It is a question, I said, of the reader's relation to the writer; in one case the reader faces towards the story-teller and listens to him, in the other he turns towards the story and watches it. In the drama of the stage, in the acted play, the spectator evidently has no direct concern with the author at all, while the action is proceeding. The author places their parts in the mouths of the players, leaves them to make their own impression, leaves us, the audience, to make what we can of it. The motion of life is before us, the recording, registering mind of the author is eliminated. That is drama; and when we think of the story-teller as opposed to the dramatist, it is obvious that in the full sense of the word there is no such thing as drama in a novel. The novelist may give the very words that were spoken by his characters, the dialogue, but of course he must interpose on his own account to let us know how the people appeared, and where they were, and what they were doing. If he offers nothing but the bare dialogue, he is writing a kind of play; just as a dramatist, amplifying his play with 'stage-directions' and putting it forth to be read in a book, has really written a kind of novel.

The novelist must be a story-teller sometimes, because they need to tell us things. The dramatist, however, CAN show us things.

It's great writing advice. It can be borrowed sometimes for prose writing too! But it cannot be followed completely in prose writing because it's advice which accounts for a literal visual medium that relays the writing.

[thesassycat]

You can only reblog this today.

[askjennaflorida]

I missed my chance last year. Not gonna let it happen again

[gen-zee]

I have had this scheduled for one year in order to get it and I fINALLY DID IT

[voidic-writing]

Am I trying NaNo this year?

Maybe

Will I win NaNo?

Fuck if I know.

If you know me, good luck.

May the Possum Win.

[thehugwizard]

Ok, so i have a tiny gripe with modern day vampire media, the whole not have a reflection. So the whole idea behind that was the vampires could be destroyed with silver, so anything that had silver would be adverse to them, and back in the day when the vampire myths were created (17th and 18 centuries) mirrors had a silver back plates and stuff, which is why a vampire couldnt see their reflection. Modern mirrors dont use silver backing anymore, so vampires theoratically speaking would be able to see themselves in mirrors nowadays. Also the whole death by sunlight thing is innaccurate too, they become immobilized by sunlight. Rant over, sorry taking up your time

[thehugwizard]

This post has gained a Lil traction again, I still stand by what I said here

[taxes-and-laundry]

Depending on your source they don't even get immobilized by sunlight, they just don't have any powers during the daytime

[thehugwizard]

This is also true, Vampire lore is so wonky and fun to sift through

[the-haiku-bot]

This is also true,

Vampire lore is so wonky

and fun to sift through

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Extremely nitpicky but I hate white wedding gowns in fantasy, especially when they make absolutely no sense in the setting. No, that culture in the far north that prioritizes function over form and mostly wears heavy furs would not have the means, ability, or desire to make a sleeveless ivory silk gown with a semi-sweetheart neckline. Please be sensible about this and use your creativity instead of just slapping a Kleinfeld wedding gown into a medieval fantasy setting.

[tired-fandom-ndn]

Here's some tricks to making interesting fantasy wedding dresses:

Focus on the things that indicate wealth and prosperity in your fantasy culture.

What materials would your bride have access to and what would make the most sense for her to wear?

What colors are not only beautiful and culturally significant, but also require expensive or rare dyes?

What imagery could be used in patterns that are relevant to the culture (animals, plants, family crests, etc)?

What skills could be displayed in the making of the gown (beadwork, embroidery, fabric painting, etc)?

What interesting and unique materials can you add that are relevant to the culture (fur, leather, bones, plants, shells, etc)?

Would your culture be more focused on the amount of material, things like trains and heavy lairs, or on the quality and detail?

What will happen to the gown after the wedding (worn for other events, turned into household materials, turned into other clothing, etc) and are there details to it that make any other functions easier?

What other things make the bride stand out (veils, headdresses, jewelry, makeup, body paint, hairstyles, outerwear, etc)?

Is it more important in your culture for the gown to be made by other people (showing off wealth) or by the bride and/or her family (showing off the bride's talents)?

[tired-fandom-ndn]

For a quick example:

If your wedding ceremony requires the bride to walk through a cold and snowy forest for cultural or religious rites, she would freeze her poor tits off in a sleeveless silk gown. Instead, consider a heavy wool gown in rich colors with elaborate embroidery and a thick cloak, maybe hooded, made of fine furs to show off her family's wealth. Jewelry, headpieces, and detailing on the gown could be made with things carved from stones, wood, antlers, and/or bones, especially if it's a culture that prizes hunting skills. Maybe a heavy veil that isn't just beautiful but also helps protect her face from biting winds during the journey.

[purpleopossum]

Also!!! Sick of seeing white wedding gowns in (European) historical fiction before the 1800s White became popular because Victoria wore it at her wedding... that's it. It then slowly gained traction over the course of the 1800s. Blue was a popular choice, but I have also seen red and silver. White was of course present, but by no means the most common.

[krudman]

MS Paint just got two killer features for a '90s graphics editor

Microsoft has announced new features coming to its Paint app. The new features are currently available for Microsoft Insiders and will likel

MS paint is getting layers and transparency support. This is the single greatest art news of my life.

[dykecrawler]

[maccreadysbaby]

Some of my favorite words and phrases to describe a character in pain

coiling (up in a ball, in on themselves, against something, etc)

panting (there’s a slew of adjectives you can put after this, my favorites are shakily, weakly, etc)

keeling over (synonyms are words like collapsing, which is equally as good but overused in media)

trembling/shivering (additional adjectives could be violently, uncontrollably, etc)

sobbing (weeping is a synonym but i’ve never liked that word. also love using sob by itself, as a noun, like “he let out a quiet sob”)

whimpering (love hitting the wips with this word when a character is weak, especially when the pain is subsiding. also love using it for nightmares/attacks and things like that)

clinging (to someone or something, maybe even to themselves or their own clothes)

writhing/thrashing (maybe someone’s holding them down, or maybe they’re in bed alone)

crying (not actual tears. cry as in a shrill, sudden shout)

dazed (usually after the pain has subsided, or when adrenaline is still flowing)

wincing (probably overused but i love this word. synonym could be grimacing)

doubling-over (kinda close to keeling over but they don’t actually hit the ground, just kinda fold in on themselves)

heaving (i like to use it for describing the way someone’s breathing, ex. “heaving breaths” but can also be used for the nasty stuff like dry heaving or vomiting)

gasping/sucking/drawing in a breath (or any other words and phrases that mean a sharp intake of breath, that shite is gold)

murmuring/muttering/whispering (or other quiet forms of speaking after enduring intense pain)

hiccuping/spluttering/sniffling (words that generally imply crying without saying crying. the word crying is used so much it kinda loses its appeal, that’s why i like to mix other words like these in)

stuttering (or other general terms that show an impaired ability to speak — when someone’s in intense pain, it gets hard to talk)

staggering/stumbling (there is a difference between pain that makes you not want to stand, and pain that makes it impossible to stand. explore that!)

recoiling/shrinking away (from either the threat or someone trying to help)

pleading/begging (again, to the threat, someone trying to help, or just begging the pain to stop)

Feel free to add your favorites or most used in the comments/reblogs!

[the-haiku-bot]

Feel free to add your

favorites or most used in

the comments/reblogs!

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valtsv]

when you're writing a story and you find yourself wondering "how much blood can a person lose and still survive" don't even bother looking up the facts. you measure that shit with your heart and your pussy.

[nipuni]

A more casual Edwardian outfit this time! 🥰

[yeahwrite]

You have to write a book about your randomized Wikipedia article. How screwed are you?

I have/am actually writing a book about this!

Holy shit I'm going to write a book about this now!

I'm quite confident that I could write a book about this topic

I'm indifferent about this topic but I'd do it if it paid

The article is a stub/I don't think I could write a book's length on this topic

Why am I cursed with the most boring topic possible :(

Oh...oh no

OH HELL NO!!

Secret 6th option/Will write in tags

Voting ended onAug 30, 2023

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Rules: In this theoretical, it may be a fiction or nonfiction book depending on what you personally write. You are allowed to do as much additional research as you like. For extra fun, tag this with what the book would be about (other than obviously the topic) and what genre it would be, etc.

help I labelled it as the 6th option because there were six options but then added more on a whim and can't edit it now that it's posted