ongoing personality crisis @voidistooshortforausername - Tumblr Blog

voidistooshortforausername

did one for @lostbutincognito

alleysap

sighhh ryan gosling doodoofart i guess... heres some nice guys & coltland slop 4 the masses 🤤

healy loves his personal space. unfortunately, march also loves healy's personal space

then some coltland stuff... i wonder if they have different expressions for the same emotions

capitanpoops

the Nice Family

discougor

silly commission with silly detectives

hawke-gosling

I know what you are Healy

homunculus-argument

I think it would be funny to write a murder mystery where not only did every single character involved have an obvious motive to kill this mf, they were actually all attempting to murder him first, but the murder attempts all cancelled each other out all except for one. Two people tried to poison him but the poisons just happen to work as antidotes for each other, and instead of killing him only gave him the shits, and due to having the shits he couldn't go hunting that day like he had planned, foiling the plans of the one who had conditioned his favourite hunting horse to panic and bolt at the cue of a whistle, and the other murder attempt of tampering with his gun so that it would have exploded his whole face off.

The whole mystery isn't about who could have done it or how, but who was the one who got lucky and actually succeeded.

terriwriting

Sherlock Holmes and The Case of Perhaps We'd Best Leave This One Alone, Watson. There Appears To Be An Excess Of Armed Maniacs In The Vicinity.

copperbadge

When I was in high school a friend of mine would host murder mystery dinners once or twice a year. They were the kind you could buy as a kit -- I don't even know if they exist anymore -- and everyone was assigned (or chose) a character, then received a booklet of clues to share. The idea was to spend an evening in a one-shot LARP designed like an Agatha Christie novel.

I was a year above most of them at school so they threw a "goodbye" murder mystery for me just before graduation, and about 2/3 of the way through the game we all realized that everyone had at least attempted to kill the victim. The game then shifted from "whodunnit" to "who succeeded in dunninit" which we all felt was not only super fun but above the usual level of narrative complexity for those games.

After we solved it, we discovered that the game wasn't from a kit -- the host had written it herself and meticulously printed out the booklets in replica style of the kits. It was the best going-away party I think I could possibly have had.

guineapiggies

Via cyd_dwyer

humanpersonface

Just so people know the background on this man and his herd of guinea pigs-- he moved into a house, and discovered about 10 guinea pigs living in a fenced area of the back garden. It was overgrown so he never noticed before moving in. It turned out the previous tenants just abandoned the poor babies. So Cyd immediately was like "well I guess im a father now." And began learning how to care for them.

He didnt realize he had to separate the males from the females (they'd been intermingled when he found them so it didnt occur to him) until suddenly all the females were pregnant and by the time he was able to separate them all out, he now had 80 guinea pigs.

Cid Dwyer, 25, from Sydney, Australia, ended up looking after the pets when the previous owners of his property left 10 guinea pigs behind i

This man became an awesome guinea dad to his 80 guinea pigs. On his tiktok he documents building them new, nicer outdoor homes, beginning to regularly grow grasses to feed them, while also spending over 100 pounds a week to keep them in supply of fresh veggies. He also treats them for lice and tics ever 3 months.

He recognizes each one and each one has a name.

thefakerachelray

Any sci-fi media: the spaceship is a character

Me: OMG THE SPACESHIP IS A CHARACTER

homunculus-argument

The Odyssey but retold as a low-stakes modern adventure of one guy out with his girlfriend leaving the bar with his buddies to do just one (1) simple thing real quick, it'll take like 15 minutes tops, he'll be right back, but then some bullshit happens and the trip keeps getting more complicated as more bullshit keeps happening while he just tries to get back to the bar because he promised his girlfriend that he'd get back and he knows that she's still there because she told him she'd wait there.

And by the time he finally gets back it's almost 3 am and the bar is about to close while she's sitting there stone cold sober, surrounded by 5 drunk guys unsuccessfully trying to convince her to give up on waiting for him and go home with one of them instead. And the guy shows up to proceed to beat the shit out of them before explaining himself to her like hey sorry bullshit kept happening, my phone fell into a storm drain and my wallet got stolen when I was trying to find someone who'd borrow me a phone so I could call and

thekijs

His girlfriend had been fending off the 5 drunk guys for most of the evening by explaining that even if she was going to ditch her boyfriend, she can't possibly leave without finishing her beer, which she is keeping perpetually full via careful sleight of hand where she's just pouring it back and forth into and out of the pitcher.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

That buys her another hour or so and then, finally, her boyfriend makes it back. He looks like shit, hair down and just a mess, he's wearing an entirely different jacket that he got from an alley, and barely recognizable—especially to 5 guys who've been drunk for hours now. He lurks for a minute, finds out what's going on, and proceeds to pull off the trick shot first try. Throws the jacket off, fixes his hair with a hair tie his girlfriend lends him, finally looks like himself again, and THEN beats the shit out of them with the pool cue.