And we call them miracles.

[tiktokmuseum]

he was in the fridge!!!

[myusersnamegoeshere]

ovbiously this person has done so much research and cares about their tortoise so much but…. the mf idea of having a live tortoise in a TUPPERWARE?! IN MY FRIDGE?? WITH ME FOOD? ahahahaha

[rattle-my-stars]

the concept of opening someone else’s fridge only to find a WHOLE ASS TORTOISE in there… idk if I’d ever recover

[blog-carmex]

@esperantoauthor when the food doesn’t come to Tesla, Tesla comes to the food

[esperantoauthor]

Reminds me of when I accidentally stumbled across this photo for the first time…

[marraphy]

mutuals put me in your fridge

[gallusrostromegalus]

Back in 2015, I went over to a classmate’s house for group project work late in the fall, and in the middle of working on the presentation, offered to grab sodas for people but they were out of pepsi and Andrew whose house we were at said “Oh, there’s more in the basement fridge.”

So I go down to the basement, which is well-lit and finished and indeed there are more pepsi but also in the fridge is a massive tortise. This animal was the dimensions of a desktop computer and probably outweighed a labrador. It’s not moving, and is set in the middle of a plastic tray so it’s apparently supposed to be there. I go back upstairs.

“Hey Andrew.” I say, nonchalantly. “So is the tortise in the fridge down there for soup or what?”

“The what?” says the other member of the group project. I don’t remember her name, just that she always wore her hair in pigtails with butterfly clips that were based on real butterflies and she had at least a dozen species.

“Oh! No, that’s Andrew Too.” he says. “His species hibernates so he stays in the fridge for the holidays.”

“You named your tortise after you?” I ask.

“No, uh- Well, my grandfather got him in Egypt or somewhere while he was on leave during the war and He was named Andrew, so he thought it would be funny to name him ‘Andrew Too’. …Then Mom named me after him so Gandpa left me Andrew Too in his will. He’s pretty cool when he’s awake. Lets us dress him up for summer holidays, doesn’t bark.”

“Oh!” Said Butterflies. “My dad served in the Gulf War too! What unit was he in?”

“Oh no, Grandpa was with the Royal Air Force in World War Two. Andrew Too is going to be 70 this year! We’re going to make him a carrot cake!”

[captain-snark]

“is that for soup?”

“No, that’s my uncle”

[free-range-tiddies]

Can’t believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

[video-store-clerk]

Ok but I’d the second dude like…a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[gamebiadvance]

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says “being fat and wanting a girlfriend”)

First person: “See what’s behind this door..!”

(Door has text over it that says “fat girls” while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: “Noo, is there a bett-”

Second person: “ Yo it’s funny that there’s an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you’ve just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it’s never gonna happen for you mate. You’re really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you’re built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn’t- it really doesn’t. Could’ve kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race.”

End transcript.]

[thunderboltsortofapenny]

The moment that man started speaking -

[bundibird]

That transcript up there is great, but it fails to mention that the second person? Has a voice like… warm caramel. Like a blanket on a rainy day. Like the gentle creak of an ancient tree in an even more ancient forest. A voice that’s a low, deep – far deeper than expected – warm, and has a soothing timbre that, honestly, I could listen to for hours.

[sophiamcdougall]

I feel it needs to be further clarified that his voice is like warm caramel if warm caramel was still delicious but also haunted. A warm blanket knit from the fleece of an unnamed beast that roams wild lands where humans were not meant to tread. An ancient tree in a beautiful forest where you don’t want to linger after dark.

[jhope-shi]

Please watch Sam Okyere tell about how he was discriminated for his skin color in South Korea. 

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

kpop fans watch this

[korean-langblr]

i always reblog this. its too important not to

[atinyfeels]

why am i crying?

[badgyal-k-deactivated20190901]

Because antiblackness is real and now people have to come to terms it.

[veryfemmeandantifascist]

Anti black racism is global

[brittaeboo89]

This breaks my heart. Poor guy…

[luvjmin]

I’m so glad that he’s speaking out and influencing people to be considerate and you know, not racist.

[theresawholeworldout-there]

for people who aren’t into kpop or korean media since a few months ago sam okyere has been dealing with a lot of korean backlash bc he spoke out about blackface that a bunch of highschoolers were doing. he was made to apologize he deleted his social media bc of all the shit he was getting. some people started a petition to get him deported. all because he said korea needs to educate itself on its racism and cultural appropriation. and people said he was attacking korea and bringing shame to the country and he should be grateful bc korea gave him a career and all this shit while commenting the most racist and stereotypical shit towards him and other black people. other high school classes even did more blackface and were tagging him in the posts. i haven’t been paying the closest attention to whats happened since but I used to see him a lot more in the stuff I was watching and on my tl than I do now so im guessing things are ongoing for him. so if you could support more videos of him speaking out about black lives matter and the racism in korea and what he dealt with when he started working there/what he still deals with now thatd be great. and if he does come back to social media follow him or like his posts. or if you could just send some positive thoughts and vibes his way because he really doesn’t deserve all the shit he’s been getting.

[sartorialadventure]

[fullymechanized-consoomer]

At the annual Houston RenFest we’d always get one or two furries that walk around and every time the general reaction from the medieval roleplayers is akin to  “BEASTS? BEASTS THAT WALK LIKE MAN? FOUL!” 

Last time I went a furry volunteered for an impromptu conversion/exorcism and a guy dressed as a monk gathered a bunch of people and using a Gatorade bottle performed an entire catholic christening while reading off the instructions on his Ipad. When the furry was fully “converted” he removed the head of his costume and everyone in the crowd pretended to freak out and say shit like “GlORY BE HE IS SAVED” “CHRIST HAS BROKEN HIS CURSE”

[aierie--dragonslayer]

That’s the best crap i’ve heard in months

[julianbashir]

wheres that venn diagram chart of muppet names

[julianbashir]

here it is

[dicklessturdpusher-blog]

[thequantumqueer]

this is the first piece of mcelroy content i ever saw, and literally everything since then has lived up to it

[outoforderaro]

you MEME miette? you meme her content like the rickroll?

[puckconnolly]

Everyone may *think* they hate country music, but when Jolene, Before He Cheats, Take Me Home Country Roads, or Life is a Highway comes on, everyone is suddenly a liar.

[daywatch]

I know this is a funny post but

There are a few major points in Country Music’s history that got the entire genre labeled as ‘annoying’

Post 9/11 nationalism

A term that I couldn’t make up “Bro-Country” which intensifies themes of booze, objectifying women, and partying that were present in past decades but not to such an extent

This is Gospel Music But With an Accent

Now looking at the songs op listed there is

A woman pleading to another woman

A woman wrecking a shitheads life

A guy loving the scenery of where he lived

A song that could easily be mistaken for a number of other genres

But it is easier to say that one hates country while privately enjoying select songs than explain why one doesn’t like the current market oversaturated with our nation’s problems of nationalism, sexism, and so on

[brunhiddensmusings]

see also jhonny cash/willie nelson era songs which were deeply emotional stories often about painful and deep subjects. prison, loss of loved ones, hard labor, facing despair, passion. ‘ghost riders in the sky’ and the like are also deeply satisfying as they bridge more into folklore then ‘murica fuck yeah im sponsored by bud light yall’ another example- ‘midnight in montgomery’ where hank williams junior sings about the ghost of his father

“ … And felt the wind die down, And a drunk man in a cowboy hat, Took me by surprise, Wearin’ shiny boots, a nudie suit, and haunted, haunted eyes, He said: “Friend, it’s good to see you, It’s nice to know you care” Then the wind picked up and he was gone, Was he ever really there? ‘Cause when the wind is right, You’ll hear his song, Smell whisky in the air, Midnight in Montgomery, He’s always singin’ there, “ the reason we ‘hate country’ is because we know its supposed to have FEELING and its infuriatingly absent now

[ultralaser]

70s country - bluegrass traditional

80s country - power ballads

90s country - pop crossover

00s country - white supremacy

[the-poor-decision]

[questbedhead]

I know I’ve talked about it before but it never ceases to amaze me that the city of Toronto created this labyrinthine series of underground walkways that stretch for kilometres under the heart of downtown and they called it the fucking PATH. like how much more ominous could that even be. It doesn’t even stand for anything it’s just the PATH, all caps. What fucking fae named this artisanal bakery maze.

[questbedhead]

@asimovsideburns​ #it doesn’t even stand for anything????? 

It doesn’t!!! even stand!! for anything!!!

“PATH is downtown Toronto’s enclosed pedestrian walkway linking 29 kilometres of shopping, services and entertainment connecting Toronto Coach Terminal to Maple Leaf Square/Air Canada Centre. The Acronym (PATH) does not stand for anything - just signals that there is a pathway.”

Like I always lose my mind at this. If it doesn’t stand for anything it’s not an acronym Toronto!! Toronto!!!!!!!!!

[longwander]

Copying my tags:

I’m not exaggerating about the part without a ceiling:

This is, by the way, right under Bay & Bloor, dead centre of the city and some of the most expensive real estate in Canada. It radiates an incredible aura of menace.

[questbedhead]

Okay far more poeple have reblogged this than I thought and I just wanted to clarify- the horror of the PATH is not that it all looks like a spooky basement where you’re about to get murdered. There ARE spots like that, but to understand the ~vibe~ of the PATH, you have to understand that it is essentially one very large mall co-designed by like, 70+ different corperations who all have different aesthetics. SO, the PATH looks like that, but it also looks like this

and like this

and like this

and like this

Here’s an entrance to the PATH at Union

And here’s another- also at Union

And here’s another a few blocks away, though tbh I have never been able to enter here because it always seems to be locked, no matter how much I want Wendy’s that day. 

And you’d think these mixed aesthetics would make it easier to navigate, or at least figure out where you are, but again, there are over 70 different entities designing this shit and not one original thought between them. So while you may well know when you step from one property to the next, whatever the look of your current section it’s more than likely there’s a nigh identical section somewhere further just to confound your mortal sense. 

Basically, everyone tagging this with the Magnus Archives is very correct- If any place on earth could be the true domain of the Spiral it’s the PATH, and it’s just a shame Jonny didn’t know about it before the show wrapped up. 

[houseboundcentipede]

Me and my homeless friends used to walk PATH in the winter bc none of us had appropriate winter clothing, so I have a pretty good grasp of the layout.

1. It’s fucking MASSIVE

It takes about 5-6 hours to walk to whole thing, if you’re a fast walker queer like I am

2. If you go past union, you eventually break into the convention centre. Like, straight up we accidentally walked into an active convention through PATH without paying 💀

3. Soooo many places for homeless ppl to hide and crash in a warm, clean environment

4. Right under the Eaton Centre is a fucking haven for shoplifting. It’s a billion boutiques with no walls and ½ an employee running the shop, and all expensive brands. Go get yourself something nice 😉

5. Every store closes at like 5pm, so it’s eerie as fuck afterwards. Just you and the zamboni guy

[schafpudel]

@o-hybridity

[fail-boat]

My foster kitten

[fail-boat]

is trying

[fail-boat]

to steal

[fail-boat]

my beer.

[phoenyxoftheashes]

Emoji spell for Healthy Pets

💫🔮🐾 😺☝️⭐️☝️😺🐾🔮💫

[forevernoon-deactivated20181218]

This is really nice work……..                                                                                via Art LOVER

[thathealeygirl]

THAT’S how you make lace??

[aerylon]

And THIS is why lace was a worn primarily by royalty and aristocracy for so many centuries..  It was expensive and time-consuming to produce.  Wearing it, and wearing LOTS of it was a blatant show of wealth and excessive consumption.  

Mechanically-produced lace wasn’t really a thing until well into the 20th century, but there remains a wide gap between the quality of  mass-produced and hand crafted

[beachgirlnikita]

In general textile arts are highly underated considering the amount of skill and time needed to execute pretty much anything.

[johnthestitcher]

I am always amazed by the  people that do this and somehow keep all those threads from tangling!

[serfuzzypushover]

Trying

[warplanerubdown]

[drtanner]

I love this video so much. This cat, trying so hard to sip like a people. Desperate to sip like a people. Objectively incapable of sipping like a people.

[lady-byleth]

Okay but you know what this tells me? That this cat really loves its owners. Cuz like, cats mirror us when they like us. That’s why they hang out on laptops. They want to do what we do because that’s how they show affection. So this cat saw its human drink like that…and decided to do it too cuz but it’s hard so it keeps trying. That’s love.

[authumor]

[badgerofshambles]

a singular scuit. just one. 

[threeraccoonsinatrenchcoat]

an edible cracker with just one side. mathematically impossible and yet here I am monching on it.

[brunhiddensmusings]

‘scuit’ comes from the french word for ‘bake’, ‘cuire’ as bastardized by adoption by the brittish and a few hundred years ‘biscuit’ meant ‘twice-baked’, originally meaning items like hardtack which were double baked to dry them as a preservative measure long before things like sugar and butter were introduced. if you see a historical doccument use the word ‘biscuit’ do not be fooled to think ‘being a pirate mustve been pretty cool, they ate nothing but cookies’ - they were made of misery to last long enough to be used in museum displays or as paving stones

‘triscuit’ is toasted after the normal biscuit process, thrice baked thus the monoscuit is a cookie thats soft and chewy because it was only baked once, not twice

behold the monoscuit/scuit

[cameoamalthea]

Why is this called a biscuit:

[brunhiddensmusings]

when brittish colonists settled in the americas they no longer had to preserve biscuits for storage or sea voyages so instead baked them once and left them soft, often with buttermilk or whey to convert cheap staples/byproducts into filling items to bulk out the meal to make a small amount of greasy meat feed a whole family. considering hardtack biscuits were typically eaten by dipping them in grease or gravy untill they became soft enough to eat without breaking a tooth this was a pretty short leap of ‘just dont make them rock hard if im not baking for the army’ but didnt drop the name because its been used for centuries and people forgot its french for ‘twice baked’ back in the tudor era, biscuit was just a lump of cooked dough that wasnt leavened bread as far as they cared thus the buttermilk biscuit and the hardtack biscuit existed at the same time. ‘cookies’ then came to america via german and dutch immigrants as tiny cakes made with butter, sugar/molasses, and eggs before ‘tea biscuits’ as england knew them due to the new availability of cheap sugar- which is why ‘biscuit’ and ‘cookie’ are separate items in america but the same item in the UK the evolution of the biscuit has forks on its family tree

[sandersstudies]

Me, Catholic, walking into a Protestant church with no depictions of Mary: where’s my mom

[fuitgummyworm]

Me, culturally Protestant, walking into a Catholic church filled balls to the walls with paintings sculptures candles and god knows what else: why’s there so much stuff

[fantasticmojo47]

Me, Orthodox, walking into a western church:  w h e r e   a r e   t h e   b o n e s

[odin-n-out]

Me, vampire, walking into any denominational holy place: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[solassitudes]

my singing voice is good for showers and mornings in the kitchen and drunken nights and lullabies for babies who need sleep and im okay with this

[solassitudes]

i think it’s silly to be ashamed of your art because it’s not in a museum and of your voice because it’s not selling out stadiums. there will always be people who enjoy and appreciate what you can do.

[rosesastrology]

Idk why but this hit me really hard and I’ve been staring at it for a couple minutes.

[ethuil]

[dynamite5ftjewishbitch]

Fun, someone said the words “prior authorizations” around me and now I’m pissed off at 730am on my day off. I go off on this rant all the time. ALL THE TIME.

[wayfaringmd]

Oof. This man gets it.

[plaguedaddy420]

My friend has military health insurance through her husband. She has an avorian cyst that's causing her daily extreme pain and the insurance company won't let the doctors perform surgery on it until it gets go a certain size. She needs the surgery but she cant get it because the insurance says no.