I know I talk about Buck being connected to every 'moment of doom' in Eddie's LI arcs, but it really is crazy. Even when he's not there, he's still there. The Eddie-Shannon restaurant scene? The insane vat of chocolate speech that is directly connected to Eddie rescuing Buck from drowning in an actual vat of chocolate before. Eddie and Ana's breakup? Buck compared himself to Ana to explain the hurt of being led on. Eddie and Marisol's breakup? Buck found out about Kim first, and the narrative framed in a way that suggested that he was cheated on/lied to too. Kim and Eddie (I know it's complicated) clarity where Eddie explains why he was meeting her? Eddie says out loud that he came clear to her after Buck spoke to him. Buck is there in every ending. He is never there for the beginning, not for any of them, but he is always haunting the ending.
I know there are theories floating around about buddie getting together because of near death experience for Buck or Eddie, but I think if the writers go down that way, it absolutely cannot be Buck nde. Buck who has spent his whole only life getting romantic attention (at least which follows through into a relationship) when he is hurt or in dangerous situations, cannot have the love of his life confess because he is in danger.
Lets take the history
Abby: Stalked and called him because he was traumatised on TV talking about devon
Ali: They met when he rescued her from an earthquake
Taylor: Rescued her from helicopter crash
Natalia: Just had gotten back from a death coma, and she thought that was cool
Tommy: Met at the helicopter flying into a storm with his adopted dad figure probably dead
The romantic attention from Eddie cannot follow the same pattern, because Eddie knows and likes him regardless of the danger and hurt and thats what makes it end game.
What started as a joke in the short drabble I wrote is now one of my favourite headcanons.
Eliâs nickname as a kid is Trouble.
The nickname came about because Sheriff Stilinski was telling Stiles and Derek that wherever they go, trouble follows, and Eli - with his perfect timing - toddled in after them, prompting the Sheriff to jokingly say, âAnd hereâs Trouble.â
After that, the nickname stuck. And made for many laughs when they would call him Trouble or refer to him by the nickname and he would happily say, âIâm Trouble!â
Stiles is Mischief, Derek is Sourwolf, and Eli is Trouble
"Because, Evan. You came in here the other day and you said it would've been better if it had been you who was shot. You act like you're expendable. But you're wrong."
- Or -
Buck is barely holding himself together after Eddie got shot by a sniper. As Eddie is recovering, he revealed that a year ago he changed his will to state Buck as Chris's guardian, completely disregarding that Chris has other actual blood relations available.
----------
A Buddie moment that sounds straight out of a fanfic description, but is in fact CANON đ
For everyone hoping and or expecting there to be something huge in the mid season finale on Thursday and who will feel let down and upset if there's not I wanted to point out some things.
First of all Tim just came back in s7 and it was a shortened season. I know we all had issues with how that season was handled but I also think Tim had a lot to figure out for having just come back to show. He was bringing 911 to a new network had only 10 eps to tell the entire seasons stories in. It was also a rather important season considering it was where they finally had Buck come out and where the pieces were finally being put into motion for Buddie to happen eventually (like in episode 704).
But I also think a lot of stuff Tim wanted to do in s7 he didn't get to and instead carried it over to s8 where he felt he had more time. The majority of 8a was spent closing out storylines that started in s7. What people have to realize is that a lot of this likely would have been the second half of season 7 had that been a full season. Now going into 8b I expect to see more focus put on Eddie's coming out and more movement towards Buddie happening.
None of this means that the mid season finale will necessarily be a huge ep or have a nde or have Eddie come out or Buddie kiss or anything like that. This ep may be pretty similar to the one we saw last week especially because like some have pointed out Tim and the others may have been expecting 809 to be the mid season finale not 808. And besides that 911's mid season finales have rarely been these huge events. Those were usually saved for other eps.
---------------------------------
S1 -
shortened season - no mid season finale
no real NDE's although you could say the plane disaster was one for Bobby
S2 -
210 - mid season finale - It's revealed that Chim's friend is Doug
*2b*
211/212/213 - Chim begins/ Doug attacks Chim and takes Maddie
217 - Shannon dies car accident
218 - Buck NDE truck bombing
S3 -
302/303 - Buck and Chris NDE tsunami
308 - Hen NDE car accident (a few eps before mid season finale)
Bobby radiation exposure 309 (one ep before mid season finale)
310 - mid season ep - Michael cancer diagnosis
*3b*
314 - dispatch center/Maddie held hostage
315 - Eddie NDE well
317 - Athena NDE r*pist
S4 -
shortened season because of Covid no mid season finale
405 - Buck NDE fire
409 - Albert NDE car accident
413/414 - Eddie NDE shooting
S5 -
506 - Buddie kidnapping
508 - Hospital (where David worked) fire
510 - mid season ep Eddie leaves the 118
*5b*
513 - Eddie breakdown
516 - dispatch fire
517 - Hen/Chim - NDE - jonah
S6 -
Mid season ep - Bobby's sponsor dying
*6b*
610/611 - Buck NDE lightning strike
618 - 118 NDE bridge collapse
S7 -
shortened season - no mid season finale
701-703 - Bathena NDE - cruise ship disaster
708-710 Bathena NDE - Cartel/Fire
S8 -
802/803 - Athena NDE plane emergency
805 - Denny NDE
---------------------------------
Looking at the way 911 has structured it's seasons in the past it's far more likely that if we're going to get a nde for Buddie or one of them we're going to get it later in the season and not at the mid season. We could get a more surprising moment like we've seen in the past like with Eddie leaving the 118 but like I said before I think it's highly probable that 808 wasn't meant to even be the season finale so a more shocking or surprising moments might not even be until 809 when the show comes back.
I just really think we all need to take a look how the show operates and prepare ourselves so we're not too let down. Also as much as I love coming up with theories and love listening to theories everyone else comes up with I feel like it's become a habit lately in our fandom for some people to get everyone excited and expecting certain things from the show. Then when the show doesn't deliver every single episode people are left feeling angry. This isn't just the fault of the people talking about their theories it's a fandom issue in general I think. I wish our fandom would just be more realistic going into each ep and not so quick to turn on the show if expectations aren't met immediately.
I 100% believe Eddie is going to come out and Buddie is happening. I've been watching the show for years and things have never been as close to Buddie canon as they are now but that doesn't mean it will happen instantly. Everything that's being shown and said (in interviews) is telling us that the show is playing the long game. We have to be patient and wait for them to get there, which I know can be really frustrating, trust me I've been waiting for Buddie's love story to be canon for what feels like forever. I think we will see more movement in Eddie and Buddie's story this season but maybe not this episode coming.
----
I also think it's important that we show our love for the show and the people who work on it more. I feel like a lot of the stuff I see out of our fandom lately is pretty negative. I'm not saying it's not warranted or that I don't do my own share too (I was talking just the other day on twitter about my issues with Athena's storylines) but I also can't help to think of how Oliver and Ryan and the others must feel. Imagine working really hard on something and then going online to see how the audience feels about it and the predominate reaction is about how awful the episode was. I definitely believe it's possible to love 911 (and any media really) and still be critical of it at times but I also think sometimes our fandom focuses too much on what we're not getting from the show and less on what we are.
We are incredibly lucky to have two amazing actors who put such love and care into playing Buck and Eddie and who have always been supportive of our ship. We're lucky that pretty much everyone involved with 911 (minus maybe KR) seems to be supportive of Buddie happening because trust me that's not common among a lot of other non canon queer ships. We're lucky that Buck has finally come out and that all signs are pointing towards Eddie coming out too. We're lucky that the show is even still on the air because it was seriously on the brink of being canceled before abc picked it up. If it had been not only would we have no chance of Buddie but Buck would never have come out and both men would have ended their run on the show with those lackluster partners. And speaking of lackluster partners we're lucky that Tim got rid of Tommy. I know he could have done it sooner but he also could have kept him around longer. I think some of you need to realize that making Buddie a reality is still a risk for the show and for abc. Having another main come out is still risky but they seem ready to take the risk.
Sorry this post got so long. I just had a lot of thoughts with the new ep coming and seeing everyone already prepared to be upset about it. Let's just go into this ep with limited expectations and be happy we get to go into a hiatus for the first time in a while without b/t being a thing. Thanks if you taken the time to read all of this. â¤ď¸
If someone made a buddie edit with this song I would love them forever. Initially, I was like haha cause Eddie is a passenger princess but the more I listen to the lyrics I feel like it works for buddie so well!
My delusional buddie endgame wish for season 8 goes like this:
We get a confirmed feelings realisation on Eddie's behalf for sure, but he keeps it quiet. This time not denying himself joy, but he knows Buck is in a fragile place after his break-up and deserves space. He definitely plans on kissing him as soon as he knows it wouldn't break him. Hopefully we will get chris back this season too, maybe Eddie realises his feelings once he sees his family back together - an 'i don't want anything but this' moment.
Buck, once past the whole 'should I text him' thing starts healthily casual dating. Getting to know people, first dates, hook-ups, taking chances (let buck fuck fr). He's figuring out who HE is, not who he is with a partner. He starts to understand his likes and dislikes, his boundaries.
At the end of the season, maybe we get a moment when Buck's going through all of the people he's tried with over this period. He's sat in the locker room with a notebook and maybe Bobby is sat with him (mirroring his talk about Abby). He's trying to understand why none of them felt right. He has a good understanding of who he is and what he wants, but he can't understand why none of these eligible bachelors/bachelorettes clicked. Why they felt like he was in the wrong space. That is when he notices the pros and cons list he was making, every single pro attribute among his dates (and traits he pictures in his ideal partner) they are all Eddie. Every positive is something he loves Eddie for. Every con is what Eddie has that others don't.
Maybe we get a short compilation of all the moments Eddie made Buck look on in infatuation or jealousy or worry. Eddie's smiles and the Buckley-Diaz family scenes. Maddie calling out his 'boy crush'.
Maybe the last shot we see of them is the realisation dawning on Buck's face as he catches Eddie eyes on the other side of the glass. Eddie smiles at him with love and admiration. Buck flushes and grips Bobby's shoulder in a, 'holy shit it was always him' moment.
I believe Eddie Diaz is so gay that he did research on how to please his female partners (totally overcompensating, but he doesn't realise that)
He read all the women's health magazines, he did the internet research, he knows about the pillow tricks to get angles right, he knows about the erogenous zones, he knows how to read his partners and give them exactly what they want
None of his girlfriends ever suspected anything because he was GOOD in bed, probably gave them the best orgasms, and so nobody asked questions (including him) - why would a gay man be so good at pleasing women ?
Then when he realises he's gay he does the exact same thing the other way around, he learns how to give himself pleasure, something he never cared for before
God forbid what happens when he finally gets with Buck and this inexperienced repressed queer man is making him quiver and squirm in ways no one has
Secret marriage of convenience buddie slow burn AU, where Buck and Eddie have been married for years so Buck could adopt Chris and no one at the 118 knows.
In this chapter, after a series of disappointments caused by the fact that they canât tell anyone at work that Buck is a parent and Buck going to tell Maddie about their marriage, Eddie spirals, before coming to a drastic conclusion.
As Halloween draws closer, work continues as normal, life having stabilized. Work is fun and with Carla, they have fallen in a healthier work-life balance that allows them good quality time with Chris when they do have off work.
With Carla also comes a better school for Chris. Heâs been going to public school the past year and it is not the worst, but they both know he has a harder time keeping up and making friends there has been hard for him, even if he does have a few.
So when Carla suggests Durand School they want to check it out. Him going there will mean an extra strain on their finances, but with their two incomes it should be possible.
The only available time to take a tour is during one of their shifts. Both try to trade their shift, but since Eddie is the only one who can give Chris as a reason and Buck is a horrible liar and terrible with excuses, only Eddie gets the time off.
Buck can privately admit heâs crushed about it, though he tries not to show it to Eddie. He loves learning and loves getting to help Chris with his homework and his projects. He does the back to school shopping, since both he and Chris agree Eddie has horrible folder taste. So, getting to see the potential school is something he would have loved to do.
Except he canât get the time off, because no one knows. This isnât something in the realm of possibilities for others when they look at him. They donât look at him and think; a father. That can hurt more than he wants to face sometimes.
Eddie is also unhappy with Buck not being able to get the time off. He is terrified of having to go there by himself, of having the responsibility of making the decision about Chris by himself. It adds this pressure that makes his chest feel tight.
Before it had been Shannon, who picked the doctors Chris went to, which he stayed with until Buck switched Chrisâs PT. When it came to picking a school for Chris, Buck had already been in the picture and his parents had tried to have a massive say. Heâs never decided this stuff and suddenly being put on the spot feels like a lot.
When Carla offers to come with him after hearing Buck canât make it, because two remember more than one, he feels like getting on his knees and thanking her.
He doesnât.
Instead, he and Buck spend a whole evening coming up with questions to ask and things to take notice off. They write them down in lists and Eddie doesnât go to till bed late, wanting to memorize them all, because showing up with a piece of paper seems like he isnât adult enough â a fear heâs carried since first holding Chris in his arms at nineteen years old â and he wants to come across right. This is a private school. Heâs never been to one of those before.
On the day of the meeting, he has to do breakfast by himself, because Buck is already working. It doesnât make him feel much better to watch Chris eat cereal, though he comforts himself with the thought that getting to pour it himself is great for independence and practicing motor skills.
With Chris dropped off at school, he rips through his closet to find something presentable. The only thing he has is the suit he got for his courthouse shotgun wedding, because they needed it to be somewhat believable and they reused the suits for court when Buck adopted Chris.
Still, he feels a bit idiotic with it on and sends a photo to Buck with the caption: Is this too much?
Buck meanwhile is dying on his shift, continuously checking his phone in case Eddie texts him about the meeting. The others have been bullying about not being able to function without his best friend, which he has been taking with a lot of pouting, spluttering and blushing. Getting a random text from Eddie in his wedding suit, is not conducive to that.
Of course Hen must notice, leaning in as she asks: âWhat are you looking at?â
âEddie send me a pic of the outfit heâs planning to that school viewing thing. Wants to know if itâs too much,â Buck answers.
âWhy is he asking you?â Hen raises a brow. âAs a parent, I have so much experience doing school viewings. Karen can be very terrifying. There was an excel sheet.â
âTheyâre Buck and Eddie,â Chimney rolls his eyes, as if that is an explanation.
A part of Buck wants to grouch that he is a parent too and his opinion should be the most valid, because he is the parent of the kid this is about, specifically. However, he canât and he also isnât too experienced with this and he wants Eddie to do well. So he shows Hen the pic and asks: âWhat do you think? Too much?â
Hen inspects Eddie closely, before commenting: âThat is a very nice suit. Itâs a private school?â Buck nods. âThen thatâs good.â
Buck texts Eddie that the outfit is good, even parent approved by Hen, getting a thumbs up back from Eddie, before he goes radio silent. Likely at his appointment, thus off his phone.
At first, Eddie isnât too sure of the school. Itâs a nice school, definitely a good one, but it feels high end. As if Eddie could have never gotten here without help from someone like his parents. That brings some connotations that make him apprehensive.
But after a bit of walking around, those worries get soothed and instead he finds himself asking the questions he practiced with Buck. The principal leading them around seems impressed with his preparedness and guilt overtakes him again.
Buck should be here too. Heâs always making Eddie look like a better dad than he is, never getting full credit for all he does. Eddie wishes he can make it up to him somehow.
As if she heard him, the principal says: âIn your application you mentioned you were married. Weâd like to talk to both parents before accepting a child. Is your wife available?â
âUhm, Christopherâs mother hasnât been in the picture since he was four, me and my husband have full custody of him,â Eddie answers, a little awkward. It always feels weird â not unpleasant, just weird â to mention Buck as his husband. He doesnât explain the whole platonic marriage thing, thatâll only make it complicated. Theyâre married for the school for the same reasons they arenât married at work.
âOh, of course, one should never assume. Iâm sorry. This school does focus on diversity and inclusivity, though it has been a learning curve for everyone,â she says with embarrassment.
âItâs alright,â Eddie assures her, not wanting to drag out the conversation. It makes him feel like he is taking something from actual queer people when that happens, like he shouldnât have that conversation, like heâs not allowed. So he speeds by it as fast as he can.
She gives a nod. âOkay, in this case, I think that talking to Christopherâs other father will be more than enough. Itâs to get a fuller picture of the child and their family.â
âOf course. Buck â uhm, Evan Buckley, we didnât take each otherâs last names â will be available for most of next week. Weâre working a 48 hour and then have four days off. Weâre both firefighters, so the schedule can be hectic. He wanted to be here, but couldnât get off work,â he explains, wanting to excuse Buckâs absence and leave the principal with the best possible impression of him. It is the least he can do after all Buck did for him.
âWell, I hope weâll see at least one of you for career day then, that is very exciting,â she smiles. âIs it possible to schedule something with you, or should we contact your husband ourselves?â
âWe can schedule something no problem, Iâll put it on the calender and heâll be there,â Eddie assures her.
As expected, Buck is thrilled by the news that he also gets to tour the school a bit, shown in a truly impressive mix of emojis Eddie gets send when he texts Buck the details. Itâs so silly and so Buck, he canât help but smile slightly and huff out a laugh before pocketing his phone. If he drives quick, he can change out of this stupid suit before pick up.
By the time he has Chris at home with him, the excitement Buck felt has turned to anxiety. There is only so much he can do over text, so he tells Buck to step out so he can call him.
âBuck, itâs an interview, because they want to know the family and check if the other parent isnât an unreliable whack job, youâre going to be fine,â he tells him.
âBut Iâve already proven myself to be unreliable,â Buck stresses. âI couldnât get today off, what if I can never get off and I miss every PTA meeting and the parent teacher conferences and everyone judges us?â
âFirst off, that is highly unlikely. Second off, theyâre not going to judge you, they understood completely that being a firefighter means having a difficult schedule to work around. And third off, I will personally ensure that you can make it to some of those things, even if I have to take your shift myself. Now take a breath.â
âOkay, okay. Okay,â Buck says, taking a deep breath.
âGood.â
Then right as Eddie thinks Buck has calmed down, he asks: âBut what if I say something weird?â
âYouâre not going to say something weird!â Eddie exclaims. âYou literally helped me prep, they were already very impressed with the things you thought off. Itâs going to be fine. You are the most likable person to walk on the planet.â
âYou think so?â Buckâs voice is tinged with insecurity, but also something that Eddie can never place, but always makes him feel soft, makes him want to reach out to Buck.
Unsure of how he feels about that, he pushes it all down and into the box of things he doesnât think about and replies: âYeah, man. Youâre like a gentle giant.â
âThanks.â He can hear the smile.
âThink youâre okay for the rest of your shift now?â
âProbably. Uh, thank you. For calming me down.â
âAlways. Just text if you start driving yourself crazy again, I think Hen would murder me if I let you irritate her with your pacing.â
âRude.â
âHave a good shift,â Eddie grins.
âYouâre a dick, give Chris a hug from me.â
Buck ends up texting Eddie two more times and they have another prep night like they had for Eddie the night before Buck has to go.
Like Eddie, Buck pulls out his wedding suit the day of the interview. It sends an odd swooping sensation through his stomach to see him in that suit again, Eddie supposes itâs some sort of nostalgia. Itâs been years already. It seems so short ago, but itâs been quite long already, that must throw him off. It was supposed to be a short thing, but they just never stopped.
When Buck stays away quite a bit, Eddie gets nervous. He wants to text, maybe call, but he doesnât want to seem overbearing or like he doesnât trust Buck. Because he does. Trust Buck, that is. He trusts Buck more than himself some days. He just knows how worried Buck was and taking more time seems foreboding, what if theyâre not as inclusive as they claimed and this is another PT situation. What if Buck can never be Chrisâs dad somewhere again?
With those anxious thoughts running through his head, he jumps up when he hears the lock jingle as itâs opened.
He is there before Buck is even entirely inside, nervously asking: âHow did it go? Did it go well?â
Before he even answers, Eddie can see the big grin on Buckâs face and Eddieâs shoulders release the tension as Buck says: âIt went great. I stayed later, because they showed me the science labs and possible accommodations. Since Chris has been on that science kick lately, I wanted to be sure he could safely participate.â
Warmth threatens to overtake Eddie. Of course Buck stayed later, because he wanted to make sure Chris could do the thing he loves safely. Sometimes he wonders what he had done in a past life to deserve running into Buck. Heâs the best friend Eddie has ever had.
âAnd then I kind of got sidetracked talking to the science teacher. Sheâs really cool,â Buck continues talking. He ended up getting caught up in a conversation about fire. Itâs very Buck and a little endearing if Eddie lets himself think that.
As he talks, Buck toes off his shoes and moves to the kitchen, Eddie trailing after him. He is about ten minutes into his rant as he starts up dinner when he realizes what heâs doing and trails off with a blush. âAh, sorry, Iâm babbling.â
âI donât mind your babbling,â Eddie tells him honestly. âJust give me some of those vegetables to chop and babble away.â
Buck gives him a look he canât decipher, which is unusual, but it seems to be a positive emotion, so he can let it go for now. Softly Buck asks: âYou really donât mind?â
âNah, itâs pretty interesting,â Eddie answers honestly.
The undecipherable look morphs into a beaming smile and Eddie feels that warmth again. He pushes it away and takes the cutting board and knife and half of the eggplants, as Buck starts up again.
However, the settled domestic feeling canât last. Halloween is another disappointing pill to swallow for Buck. Bobby has tried to schedule as many of the parents off as he can, which means Buck is working and Eddie isnât.
Eddie tries to switch their shifts, but Bobby wonât let him, stating that Buck will survive missing his frat party for this one year. He was off last Halloween, Eddie should enjoy trick or treating with Christopher.
In turn, Eddie wants to explain that he hates trick or treating and it will be hell for him, so itâll be much better for Chris to go with Buck, if only Bobby would let them swap. Sadly, he cannot do that and Bobby isnât convinced Buck isnât trying to manipulate Eddie into it.
So, Buck takes many photos of him and Chris in costume, before he has to leave for work, obviously attempting to hide his disappointment and Eddie suffers through too much small talk and Chris on a sugar high.
Eddie vows that next year, Buck will get to do Halloween.
The thought takes him aback for a moment. The surprise of having the stability to plan a year into the future is not something heâs used to. And he shouldnât get too used to it. He forcefully reminds himself that this wonât last forever.
At some point heâll feel the need to get out there, find a girl and Buck likely feels the same. And yeah, heâll be there for Chris and Eddie can mentally plan Halloween, but he shouldnât let himself slip like that.
With Halloween behind them, it is a slow march towards Thanksgiving and Christmas. Theyâve never really been a Thanksgiving kind of family and both of them have to work on the day anyway, so Chris is going to stay with tĂa Pepa, but they are going to do something for Christmas, luckily not go to Texas or have his parents come here. His mom is disappointed, but air fair is expensive.
For now the plan to have a small elaborate dinner with just the three of them and Pepa, but Buck is thinking about inviting Maddie. However, before they can invite Maddie, they have to loop her into their scheme.
âWould you be okay with me telling her?â he asks.
âIt was you who didnât want to tell her, I was always fine with it,â Eddie reminds him.
âI wanted to ease her into it,â Buck pouts. âShe had just run from her abusive marriage, I didnât want to drop âoh Iâm married, but not like that, however, you are an auntâ on her.â And he didnât want it to come back to his parents, or Doug, if the running didnât turn out to be permanent, but he doesnât want to rehash that.
âYeah, yeah, you said so back then,â Eddie waves him off. âBut you want to tell her now? Thatâs cool. Want me to come with?â
Buck seriously considers it for a second, because having back up to face Maddieâs inevitable wrath when she finds out heâs been keeping this from her will be lovely. But after the whole getting drugged debacle where she learned about his crush on Eddie, heâd prefer to be able to set the record straight, before she can assume and reveal it to Eddie. âNah, Iâll be okay on my own, but thanks.â
âAlright.â
Come Friday, Eddie watches Buck stress out, pulling out multiple outfits and changing a hundred times, before he has to settle on what heâs wearing if he doesnât want to be late. Itâs a little amusing, Eddie must admit. Itâs kind of like watching Buck get ready for a date. Somehow that thought sours the moment.
Once Buck is hustled out the door, the feeling lingers, though it has turned into anxiety. How will Maddie react to the news? And what will she think of Eddie?
She has been nothing but kind to him thus far, but she doesnât know that Eddie dragged her little brother into his teen dad, struggling to provide life. Buck has always described her as protective, he doesnât want to imagine what she might do to him when she learns Eddie prevented Buck from having his early twenties. How he trapped him in a marriageâŚ
God, this is all going to go horrible.
He distracts himself by ordering pizza with Chris and watching a plethora of animated movies as they cuddle up on the couch. He knows most men of his age are out drinking with friends or hooking up, but that was never really his scene and he missed out on so many nights like these that heâll never tire of playing catch up.
At some point Chris does fall asleep, head pillowed against Eddieâs side. It makes him feel emotions he canât verbalize and he finishes the entire movie by himself with as little movement as possible, just soaking in the warmth of his son.
When the credits roll, he carefully shifts so he can lift Chris and carry him to his room. They held movie night in their pajamas, so he doesnât have to worry about that as he tucks him in, smoothing down his hair, before giving him one fond look and softly closing the door.
In the kitchen he checks his phone. No word from Buck. Itâs already late, but not absurdly late, still the hour and the radio silence pave the way for the anxiety to return.
A telenovella doesnât work as well as a distraction as Chris did, no matter how invested heâs been in this storyline (though he will deny that if asked). So, he marinates in his own nerves until the door unlocks and Buck comes in.
He looks⌠confused? Eddie doesnât know what to do with that, doesnât know what that says about his talk with Maddie. He is also quiet. Which is worrying. After watching him just standing there for a few seconds, he tentatively asks: âSo, how did she take the news?â
âI didnât tell her.â Buckâs voice is vacant as he says it.
âWhat?â
âI didnât tell her,â Buck repeats, more present this time.
âYou were there for hours?â Eddie says. Now he is confused.
âYeah and so was Chimney.â
âChimney?â
âYes, Chimney!â Buck exclaims as he sits down on the couch, gesturing as he continues: âItâs like I looked away for two seconds and he has infiltrated her life everywhere! Apparently it is buff-friday which is a tradition, because they eat take out together often enough for Chimney to have picked up on her indecisiveness. And they do karaoke. Karaoke! I didnât even know Maddie liked karaoke! It is a Chimney thing, not a Maddie thing, but now itâs a them together thing. Theyâre dating in every sense except officially.â
Okay, so he got stuck hanging out with both of them and couldnât tell her, makes sense. The confusion is also explained, since Chimneyâs presence had clearly been a surprise to Buck. âDid you plan something new with her without Chimney so you can tell her?â
âNo!â Buck says vehemently, taking Eddie by surprise.
âNo?â
âShe can never know now,â Buck says wide eyed. âI know she is good at secrets, she kept so much from everyone, probably still keeps a bunch of stuff from me, but she doesnât like keeping secrets. I canât make her keep this from Chim and then sheâll tell him and weâre done for. Chimney canât keep shit to himself.â
âHeâs not that bad, is he?â
âI once watched Hen tell him not to tell Bobby she forgot the coffee at the grocery store only for him to come up the stairs and for Chimney to tell him immediately. He barely lasted three seconds. Three!â
âOkay, that is pretty bad,â Eddie winces. âBut you can still tell Maddie. Sheâll get keeping this, just like tĂa Pepa and Abuela do. What about Christmas?â
âI guess Christmas is going to have to suck,â Buck sighs, collapsing further into the couch. âShe was still running when she got here, she was too scared to live her life. Now sheâs finally putting herself out there again, I donât want to mess with that. Itâll make it more complicated anyway.â
Guilt churns in Eddieâs gut at that. Heâs made Buckâs life complicated, he pulled him into this and took the job at the 118 despite it all. And now here Buck is, not only missing out on things with Chris, but also missing out on things with Maddie. He missed her getting close to Chimney and now heâll also miss a Christmas with her, all because of Eddie.
âAre you sure?â he checks again just to make sure. Heâll respect what Buck wants, since itâs his sister, but that same selfish part of him hopes that Buck will change his mind, even if it were only to soothe his own guilt.
âYeah,â Buck says with a tired smile that doesnât feel like a smile. Then he gets up from the couch with a groan, before stretching and saying: âIâm gonna turn in early. âNight, Eddie.â
âGoodnight,â Eddie replies, watching him go with a heavy feeling in his stomach.
He sits on the couch by himself until he hears the door to Buckâs bedroom close, then he gets up and quietly goes through his own routine. Itâs less fun than it is when Buck is there, flossing way too diligently, because he once went on a dental hygiene research spree and now has some medical anxiety around it. He wonders when something so menial as brushing teeth became fun.
Probably around the same time he and Buck started living with each together instead of alongside each other and he was there when Eddie brushed his teeth. Buck makes everything more fun, more bearable.
Buck does so much for Eddie, from helping him prep for a school interview to make him feel ready and look better, to helping him organize child care when Abuela broke her hip, to caring for Chris for a year while he was on tour, to making sure Chris got the care when the PT place was shit. He does so much and what does Eddie do in turn? Nothing. He just saddles Buck with more problems and more worries.
Itâs not fair on Buck. Instead of worrying over an outfit for a date, heâs worrying about looking good to maybe upset his sister. Instead of celebrating Christmas with family, heâll have a complicated balance to make up between not upsetting Chris or Maddie. Not to mention all the trouble Eddie brings him at work.
Eddie is a horrible friend, who only takes and takes. He canât do it on his own, he is too weak to provide and heâs making it Buckâs problem. He shouldnât keep doing this.
They spend the next day with Chris at the aquarium and Buck seems fine enough, even throughout his shift on Sunday there is no sign of him being upset. But Eddie knows Buck is good at hiding, heâs sure it must be worse than it seems.
So when theyâre off on Monday and have taken their naps after their 24 hour shift, Eddie comes up to him while heâs in the kitchen doing the dishes. Eddie picks up a towel and starts drying, hyping himself up to start the conversation.
âAre you okay?â Buck asks, because of course he does. Of course he notices Eddie is being weird and tries to do something about it. Tries to help.
The question only strengthens his resolve and even though it hurts for reasons he canât explain, he rips off the band aid. âI think we should get divorced.â
~~
A/N:
I am quite sad to be cutting Shannonâs return, because it would be quite interesting to explore, but it doesnât fit with the story I wanna tell, so she is going to live! Good for her honestly xp (if you are very saddened by Shannonâs absence keep your eye on the AUAU this Friday!)
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
stormborns
areudirty
ellievsbear
2087
izzy806
