I Have the Power of Neil Gaiman on my Side

Vi | he/they | 21 | opinions all ships are good ships

[badwolf-timeandspace]

[shipping-isnt-morality]

author: this story depicts rape

some chucklefuck on tumblr.com: but how do we know that rape is wrong

author: w

author: what

[inkyriderdiscourse]

tbh the grossest thing about the anti movement is that it’s basically an unitntentional safe space for actual pedophles, since they can easily go under the radar and pass themselves off as being part of said movement, which of course, can lead to them having easier access to a minor’s trust.

again, a major reason why i call these ppl (ESPECIALLY adult antis) “creeps”

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Honestly anyone anywhere that claims they’re some bastion of safety is not someone making clear judgements. Any movement that insists it can keep you safe is lying. Only you can keep you safe, when it comes down to it.

[cyruschatter]

OP you’re making no sense. literally none.

how can a pedo “easily go under the radar and pass themselves off as being part of said movement” when what you’re calling a movement (when it’s actually been going on since forever, this whole “anti-pedophile” thing) literally OUTS pedos and other creeps and reports them to authorities! you honestly really think that’s a “safe space” for pedophiles?

riddle me this, @inkyriderdiscourse , and you too @antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx !!! why would you think that a pedophile going into a space 100% against them find it easy to have a minor’s trust? why would you call US, the people who are against abuse, the creeps when YOU’RE all for it “as long as it’s between consenting adults uwu”??? it’s just sick and it reeks of evil. Are you and your pea-brained followers going to get older and dedicate your life protecting disgusting abusers or are you going to shape-up, and grow up? Come on, it’s not that hard.

[whogivesa-ship]

You have a fundamental misunderstanding of how predators work. Predators always look for power they can hold over their victims and being seen as moral and safe is powerful.

Look at it this way: Why would predators become priests? Theoretically, the Catholic Church is incredibly hostile to predators. It’s all about hating sinners and abusing children is one of the worst sins possible. But predators still become priests because people assume priests are bastions of morality and that gives them power. Priests are supposed to be safe and trustworthy, especially around vulnerable people like children, so most people in a religious community wouldn’t think twice about leaving their kids alone with their local priest. That gives predators an opportunity.

And if the children speak up about the abuse, people in the community will defend the priest. He does all the proper priest stuff like giving to the poor and ministering to the sick, how could he possibly do something as immoral as abusing a child? The kid must be lying. Sure, getting caught would completely destroy the priest’s life and prevent him from even practicing his religion anymore, but the power more than makes up for the risk.

In anti shipping circles, it’s easy to have the outward appearance of morality. You just have to ship the good ships and hate the bad ships. It doesn’t even matter whether you actually ship anything, as long as you demonstrate that morality, people will give you the benefit of the doubt. They assume that you can’t be a predator because a predator would have bad ships. Meanwhile, you can do whatever you want in private messages and nobody else has to see. That’s why it’s so easily exploited, because anti shipping gives predators a mask of morality.

And nobody here supports abuse “between consenting adults”. What does that even mean? Is it about BDSM? Fictional shipping? 

[kiwisoap]

Not to get into discourse but something I've noticed a lot about people wanting AO3 censorship is that, when they talk about not wanting the site to host fic that has shit like pedophilia or incest or etc in it, they don't seem to be aware of the fact that most of the time that stuff isn't shown as like. Being Okay.

Like, if you say you want to remove all fic with depictions of child sexual abuse in it, then that would include the fics about a character who was sexually abused as a child living with how that trauma affected them and their path to recovering from it. It would include stories about characters suffering through sexual abuse as children and going on to recover from their trauma and live happy lives as adults.

"But those ones are okay, we just want to get rid of the ones that glorify [x]!" Okay but who gets to decide that? Who gets the authority to look at a fic and read through it and say "this one is allowed to stay but this one gets purged." How graphic of a description of someone's trauma does it have to be before its deemed inappropriate? Any nuanced content ban would be so difficult to enforce that it would be effectively impossible. I could go on and on about this but there have already been countless posts about it and I'm tired.

[fandomsense]

It’s also insulting people call for Ao3 to censor things when Ao3′s entire ass reason for existing was to escape censorship and it has been a stronghold for freedom of expression through fandom content since then. If you don’t like Ao3 for what it already is then use another site or work together to create your own (the code used for Ao3 is literally open source you could copy it and set up your own servers if it means so much to you).

[queerlection]

[Image description - Images of the rainbow, trans, intersex, bi, pan, lesbian, aromantic, asexual, nonbinary and queer pride flag with the text: Love yours freak side. End description.]

🌈

Please support me on kofi if you like what I make <3 https://ko-fi.com/samhannes And you can always send in a request if you want! http://queerlection.tumblr.com/ask

[intersex-ionality]

Hearing you’re a pro-shipper hurts, honestly. As someone who’s been abused, its not ‘harmless’, it romanticizes it often and can be incredibly triggering, especially when there’s no warning (ex: just put in tags, not in the first 5 that determine if it’s filtered through Tumblr) You don’t have to post this, honestly it’s just more getting it out so you might understand where people come from when they say shipping pedophilic/abusive relationships isn’t okay. Thanks for your time and good night

So. I’ve been looking at this ask for a few hours now, trying to decide how I want to approach it.

The thing that gets me, in the end, is that you seem to believe that me being pro-shipping changes the rest of my politics, beliefs, or stances.

But I’m still exactly the same person I was yesterday, before I answered the previous ask about shipping. I’m still a vocal, ardent believer that sex workers of all sorts–including writers and illustrators of erotic fiction–have the right to do our work in peace. I’m still a vocal believer in all labour rights, not just the labour rights of sex workers. I’m still a vocal supporter of the right of queer people to have sex any way they want, and to expression their sexual interests in art freely. I’m still a supporter of women’s right to freedom of sexual expression too.

And all of those beliefs require a foundational assumption: that sex is not a shameful things by nature.

Like anything, it can be used to hurt others. I know that all too well. I was a man’s personal sexual slave for most of my early adolescence.

But then, I have also been hurt by many things that are not sex. By racial discrimination, by anti-queer bigotry, by the belief that autistic and chronically ill people are subhuman and deserve to be eradicated from the human population and gene pool.

And in all of these cases, the common factor for what hurt me was not the act of being disabled, or brown, or queer, or sexual.

It was other people rejecting my right to express those aspects of my self. My right to exist openly along those marginalizations.

The fundamental difference between the pro-shipping and anti-shipping stances is that pro-shippers want greater freedom of expression, and anti-shippers want lesser freedom of expression.

That thing you mention, about tagging fiction so that it can be found and avoided?

That’s a pro-shipper concept. Shippers came up with it, and shippers enforce it.

However, in recent years, people have been tagging less and less, and with less and less detail. Because tags are no longer seen as a neutral tool to help people avoid or seek out particular kinds of content.

They’re seen as an act of support for the thing tagged.

Once upon a time, tagging a piece of fiction as #rape was not a seen as a statement about the morality of rape. It was merely a fact. “This story contains rape.“ People seeking out content about rape would know it was there, and people seeking to avoid content about rape would know it as well.

Now, specifically because of the anti-shipping mentality, tags are seen as condoning something. A story tagged as #rape is now often interpreted as being, “this story claims rape is a good and positive thing.” This leads to harassment, abuse, threats of violence, and even actual physical violence against artists (content warning: graphic images), sometimes requiring hospitalization. The worst case scenario for these kinds of harassment involve artists–sometimes underage artists, even–being driven to suicide.

Why would you tag your story as containing rape, if it could lead to a level of violence that makes suicide seem like the better option?

It’s no longer a safe, morally neutral statement. It’s an invitation for harm.

So people have slowly but surely stopped tagging.

And that means more people who want to avoid fiction about rape are exposed to it instead.

But this is not the fault of the artists, making the rational choice to protect their own welfare.

It is the fault of the people making the threats that have caused thorough tagging to be unsafe.

If you want people to tag more completely, then that’s a pro-shipping stance.

It’s only an anti-shipping stance if you want people to stop writing entirely. And the most common expression anti-shippers have, when they want people to stop, rather than to make ourselves avoidable, is violence.

You seem to think that my being pro-shipping is somehow a deviation from the rest of my politics and my beliefs.

It is not.

Supporting freedom of expression is one of my foundational tenets. It’s not axiomatic to my politics, but it’s very close.

And supporting shipping is supporting freedom of expression.

Supporting shipping is supporting the freedom to avoid others’ expressions, too.

it is anti-shipping that leads, inexorably, to the destruction of safe places for survivors who want or need to avoid triggering content to relax in peace.

And it is pro-shipping that leads, eventually and albeit with stutters and stumbles, to the creation of those spaces.

[i-am-corbin-dallas]

Ship-course is so weird to me as someone who’s mostly removed from the fanfic scene. I read one-offs and have personal hc’s etc but I’m not the kinda person who spends hours on ao3 or fanfic.net

But whenever i see posts abt antishippers or proshippers or whatever theres so much context that needs ro be had to have any sorta opinion. Cuz like me, as an outsider… Shipping is just the act of looking at 2 or more characters and being “yes. Those two. That’d be an interesting relationship.” Then people write stories and mame art abt them.

Thats all it is to me. But posts like this bring in pedophilia and incest and rape and attach all that baggage to the entire concept of shipping.

Not to the concept of fanfic/art. Not to the individual artists who make work containing themes. Shipping as a whole.

Then people like me just see it and are stuck wondering what on earth happened.

Can anyone explain how shipcourse came to be so convoluted? Without being like “all shippers are horrible, or “all anti shippers hate freedom of expression”.

[luckyladylily]

I know you are looking for a nuanced, rational track to follow it how things went from A to B but the fact is that one does not exist. Because the shipping arguments are not about shipping. You will not find a logical dissent from one state another looking at it in this way.

I think the best way to explain this is with examples.

First example. A couple of weeks ago I openly criticised the methods of antis. Specifically I criticized 3 things: the irrational over application of accusations of pedophilia, incest, and other sexual crimes involving children, the liberal use of harassment, death threats, and suicide baiting, and finally the lack of a standard of proof when it comes to identifying targets, leading to dog piling on innocent people based on false accusations. I was not gentle or kind, but it is worth noting that I said nothing against their so called beliefs, just the harmful practices that surround them. I was very careful about that.

I was subjected to a three day harassment campaign that involved harassment, death threats, accusations of pedophilia and incest, you know. The works.

Because challenging there methods is a challenge to their social power, which is what this is actually about.

Shipping discourse is not about shipping. It isn’t even legitimately about freedom of expression. It is about one group of the population that discovered they could gain social power by applying the old adage “won’t someone think of the children” and leaning into it hard. It happened very quickly - as soon as it was discovered that this worked it was embraced very quickly by a variety of people. There was no slow decline. People found a way to get what they wanted and jumped in the deep end. You got three general groups that did this:

First you get the conservative authoritarian sort, who want to force people into accepting their position. Not fundamentally different from religious people playing the “how will this impact kids?” Method of justifying homophobic laws, policy, and attitudes.

Second you get the people who just want to hurt others and are using this as an excuse to do so. Bullies.

Third, you get the people who just enjoy the rush of a good old-fashioned hate mob. They are careful to not take a close look at proof, that would get in the way of sharpening the pitchforks.

The actions of these three groups dominate the shipping discourse. Almost everything that happens in the culture conflict is either their doing or in response to their actions.

This is not to say that everyone on that side is one of those three. Probably most of them are not, and they have real concerns about shipping and how to protect the vulnerable in this subculture. But that does not matter, the conflict is not about that. The conflict is about the actions of people using “pedophilia” and such as a political football to their own ends. It is about the very loud people sending harassment and death threats.

I 100% believe there is a nuanced conversation to be had about protecting the vulnerable in our subculture. I have strong opinions about both creator and consumer responsibility. But that nuanced conversation is impossible to have while the entire issue is driven by bad faith actors.

[coq]

not knowing how to respond to messages and forgetting about them for so long that it becomes impossible to respond to them without it being weird is the bane of my socially awkward existence

[antis-delete-your-blogs-pls-thx]

Just for anyone wondering why I don’t reply sometimes 😬

[whogivesa-ship]

So... uh... same.

[kokichis-dead-dove-club]

ship whatever you want

literally whatever! any ship! all ships! there are no exceptions to this!!

[cinnayanny]

Time to fucking murder this op

[himbonata-deactivated20190925]

Time for you to log off and get a life, tumblr user cinnayanny

[cinnayanny]

So, tumblr user kamukuraizurudotnut, it's fine for a 27 year old man to rape his 5 year old sister then kill her?

That man is a hero?

You have a life outside your cult of circle-jerking criminals?

[himbonata-deactivated20190925]

What the literal fuck are you talking about please leave your house for once in your life, this isn't an episode of CSI Miami or whatever weird fantasy land you think you live in

[cinnayanny]

Well tell me, do you believe what op has stated is valid and doesn't hurt anyone? That you agree with it?

[himbonata-deactivated20190925]

Yeah I do, because you came out of left field with shit you know could trigger someone and you want me to think you have more respect for peoples' boundaries than I do?

Like. You seem to have more of an obsession with child rape and murder than any of us do, considering the fact that what you sent uninvited without warning is worse than uhhhhh literally any content-tagged ship I've ever seen. So. Idk, can I describe all the graphic death and rape threats y'all send to real people including children?

[cinnayanny]

Well... I was using the words op said was okay to ship in the virtual world and applied that logic to the real world.

I'm not the one twisting words, I'm saying situations.

All you've been doing is swearing and yelling at me trying to make me break and kill myself by thinking of every insult in the book.

Now, tell me, everyone on Tumblr, does this person sound like a fun person to hang out with in real life? Do they sound like someone who you can trust to say your opinion and not sugar-coat it?

[whogivesa-ship]

This logic doesn’t apply to the real world. It’s specifically about fiction. Think about it this way: I like writing horror. Maybe I write a story about teenagers being graphically murdered at a summer camp. Does that make me a real murderer? Does it mean I would support a real summer camp murder spree? Does it mean I’d want to watch footage of real teens being actually murdered? No, my worst crime is ripping off Friday the 13th. The logic I used to justify writing the story (it would be an interesting and thrilling horror story) doesn’t apply to the real world. It was never meant to.

Fiction and reality have different rules. In fiction, characters are little more than toys to play with. In reality, people have inner lives and inherent worth and a million reasons why you shouldn’t hurt them. I can both enjoy Friday the 13th and be horrified by the Oklahoma Girl Scout murders. Why? Because different logic applies to fiction and reality. If you can’t see that, you’re being willfully ignorant.

And nobody in this thread wants you to kill yourself, they just want you to stop claiming they’re okay with really awful crimes against children. Please stay alive, you have inherent worth and dignity as a sentient being.

[kokichis-dead-dove-club]

ship whatever you want

literally whatever! any ship! all ships! there are no exceptions to this!!

[tiny-rat-basard-enby-deactivate]

Op, please cut this out. Now, I have no idea if this whole thing is supposed to be a joke or not but, regardless, I think you need help. It's not funny, it's not "cute uwu"

It's nasty. Pedophilia is not good for shipping because a child is not developed enough to manage a relationship, especially if it's with someone much older than them, such as an adult.

Abusive relationships are not good at all either as one side would be harmed and possibly traumatized. It messes with their mind, makes them think much, much less of themselves. I could go much more in depth but, I think this should explain it well enough.

And incest is just flat out gross. I have no explanation for this one because I haven't dug into research but, I'm 80% sure if you saw two people from the same family kissing, or being romantic out in public, that you'd be disturbed by that.

Now, while I'm not straight up sending threats, I'm still going to call you out on this as, like stated, it's wrong and gross, and also tell you that you're making people uncomfortable with this. Next time I see something like this from you, I'm not going to be so nice about it. Okay? Okay, good.

[whogivesa-ship]

You’re right, those relationships are bad in real life. However, OP is talking about shipping, which is a collaborative storytelling activity where fans imagine two or more fictional characters in a relationship. It’s a common feature in transformative fandom and has nothing to do with actual people getting into actual relationships. Obviously child molestation, abusive relationships, and incest are all bad things. Everybody knows that. But in fiction, nobody gets hurt. So reasons why something is bad irl don’t apply when you’re talking about fiction. We can tell stories about serial killers and gang violence and piracy on the high seas and that’s perfectly fine. Shipping is the same way, just more focused on relationships.

[darkerstarker]

If you’re a problematic shipper who tells antis to die, or wish harm on antis, I want to present you with 🚪 the door off of my blog.

We do not wish death, physical or emotional harm on people in my house. No, not even antis.

[mason-bees]

“It’s ok to enjoy dark fiction!” Yeah!

“So it’s fine to portray pedophillia in a positive light and post it publically in a place where it could be used to normalize pedophillia!” NO!

[whogivesa-ship]

The problem is there’s no wiggle room in statements like this when there really should be. Think about it. Abuse happens in cycles and survivors of abuse report “honeymoon periods” where the relationship was pleasant. It’s a common tactic that abusers can use to elicit feelings of genuine love from their victims. Is it wrong if a survivor writes about a honeymoon period or how they continue to feel love towards their abuser despite the abuse? Some survivors also get benefits from writing about their abuse as something they can control, even something pleasant under certain circumstances. Is that wrong too? There’s no clear definition for what “in a positive light” means. Is it writing a predator readers can empathize with like Humbert Humbert in Lolita? Even if that’s meant to help readers realize predators are fellow humans and therefore their friends and loved ones may also be capable of abuse? What if a writer is just plain incompetent and stumbles into what could be read as a positive portrayal? It happens, especially with young or otherwise inexperienced writers. Should they be condemned as promoting the normalization of pedophilia for an honest mistake?

The bottom line is, fiction is a world of nuance. Black and white rules don’t do anything except censor creators, especially marginalized ones who are particularly vulnerable to censorship.

[abortionismurder]

[motherbychoice]

Unfortunately probably B.

[warlordess]

Most definitely B since abortion cannot be defined as murder nor is it performed on children.

[abortionismurder]

Assuming you arent pregnant with a giraffe, it is, indeed, performed on a child. Especially since we arent human based on where we happen to be. Like the womb.

Basic biology says we are human. Basic biology says once conception happens the baby has it’s own DNA.

Even abortionists dont use the logic that it’s a clump of cells anymore. They call the baby a baby. Because science dictates that’s what it is.

Now, since science says it is a human, not a giraffe, that we are giving birth to…logic dictates that if we kill or end the life of the human in the womb, it is in fact murder.

That is the logical conclusion. It would be third degree murder. Malice of forethought. You go to the clinic and get a checkup, you pay the hitman, you come back to the clinic, have the abortion, and the abortionist comes out 1,000 dollars richer. The abortionist counts the pieces of the baby to make sure they are all there. Brain? Check. Skull? Check. Arms? Check. Murder? Yes.

[enchantingsoldier]

B for sure. First of all, with abortion, thay instrument is used in less than 8% of abortions to remove the fetus. Second of all, you went off on a tangent about fetuses being human when your original question was that which one would MURDER more children. Well, contrary to your handle, abortion is NOT murder. That’s not a personal opinion, that’s a FACT. You can even look at the legal definition of murder and it will literally tell you abortion is not murder. I’m glad I could help you learn a couple of things today!

[transmed-rita]

I’d love to use b on anyone even thinking of getting an abortion. it’s evil and even if the baby dies, at least the mom does too

[forgottendreams-lefttodie]

A fetus’s life should never be more important than the pregnant person’s. This right here proves that the pro “life” movement isn’t actually about life at all.

[transmed-rita]

they’re both alive, yes, but if you actually fucking have sex that’s fucking disgusting and I hope you get pregnant and die

[forgottendreams-lefttodie]

Sex is natural, you can find sex disgusting. That’s okay. Being asexual is okay. But so is having sex. But what’s actually fucking disgusting is your view on this. Little do you know that someone extremely close to you (probably several women, actually. Unless you don’t have any women friends which also wouldn’t surprise me) has had an abortion. Someone you care about deeply and would be extremely depressed if you lost them. And for yours and their sake, I sure hope you don’t share your views publicly. Shaming and wishing pain, suffering, and death on people that have had (or will have) an abortion does nothing to reduce abortions. It just shows how much of a fucked up monster YOU are.

[transmed-rita]

only one family member has had an abortion, but we aren’t close and she’s a bitch so I’d be fine with losing her

I’m also incapable of empathy towards human beings, while being overly empathetic towards animals

I have 2 cis woman friends, but they’re virgins and 17 fucking years old. of course they didn’t have an abortion

not to mention that I do feel sexual attraction, but I’m really fucking traumatized so I just don’t even think about having sex

[forgottendreams-lefttodie]

As far as you know (unless she’s the only family member you have with a uterus). 1 in 4 women have an abortion by the time they’re 40. So like I said, unless you don’t have any close female friends or relatives, I can guarantee someone you care about has had an abortion

[transmed-rita]

actually, the only female people in close to are my mom and younger sister, and neither have had an abortion. in fact, my mom is strictly against it AND a rape victim

[pissedandprochoice]

from one autistic and mentally ill woman to another, not being able to feel empathy a) doesn’t mean that you can’t still feel compassion, and b) is not an excuse for cruelty.

and you’re kind of missing the point here, and given your age I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re not doing it deliberately. The point of the stat given is sex is not some disgusting thing, it’s a common human experience. And abortion is not a big villainous action, it’s also a common human experience. 

I don’t really feel empathy either, but I can also acknowledge that pregnancy takes a massive physical toll on a person, and I can understand that it shouldn’t be forced on a person no matter what choices they’ve made that led up to it

[transmed-rita]

I know exactly what I’m saying and I stand by it. I’ll kill all of you myself

[pissedandprochoice]

ah, so you’re that kind of Edgy™ teenage troll who thinks that mental illness is an excuse to be an asshole. got it.

[transmed-rita]

no, wrong

I believe killers should die, and people who kill pro choicers are heroes

same with tucutes and terfs lol

[butch-with-a-tortoise-deactivat]

I’m recommending anyone with compassion or decency or sense blocks wrathful-rita.  (they also call anyone who they disagree with on this a whore and similar and their blog is marked not safe for trans people by Shinigami Eyes)

you’re the kind of person who makes me WISH I had an abortion while I was pregnant instead of what actually happened, fool. 

Why would I want my child to grow up in a world with people like you?

[whogivesa-ship]

Wrathful-rita also has “pro ship” and “anti anti” in their bio, so my followers should block even if they don’t talk about abortion. We don’t want people like this in our community. Death threats are NEVER okay.

[whogivesa-ship]

Is it just me or is it kinda shitty to say stuff like “you’re infected with brain fungus” or “wow op, your brain is broken”? There’s nothing bad about having a brain injury or intellectual disability. You can call someone stupid, but it’s way more effective to call them willfully stupid. Some people CHOOSE to be stupid by ignoring facts and refusing to consider that their kneejerk response might be wrong. That’s something to be ashamed of, not a brain injury you can’t control.

[carosarchive-deactivated2020060]

the stuff some of y’all find problematic makes me wonder if y’all ever go outside and interact with actual people

[awkwardnoob]

#The way some people interact with fiction is like the equivalent of a suburban mom asking for the manager

[agnesstarker-deactivated2020060]

Also the equivalent of a suburban mom blaming video games for violence

[whogivesa-ship]

People in the notes are just proving op’s point. Irl nobody cares about pictures of anime teens. You all are upset over really petty stuff. Please take a break from online fandom and reevaluate your priorities.

[judgementfreeconfessions]

I guess we’re open for business

So who are we? We are, as the sidebar says, a judgement free anon confession zone for your problematic ships, headcanons, favourite fanfiction kinks, et al. Canon or OC, adult content or pure fluff nonsense, as long as it’s about fiction we’re here for you.

[baixueagain]

So in the past 24 hours, radfems have:

Told me I should have been beaten more as a child

Told me I've never experienced love

Belittled my academic achievements and expertise, despite the fact that I'm a disabled wlw (which makes academic achievement that much harder)

Used sexual insults against me

Deliberately misgendered me (and I'm a cis woman!)

Derided me for being neurodivergent and called me a nutcase

Used other ableist insults against me

Repeatedly told me to seek therapy because I'm "crazy"

Dismissed my experiences as a bisexual woman

Accused me of enabling p*dophelia and murder

All this, because I used one word: kinkphobia. I've gotten all that hate for using a single word, in a post that wasn't even initially about kink.

And y'all want women to join you? You think you're protecting women? Because you've just spent hours insulting and belittling a disabled queer abuse survivor who is supposed to be one of the women you want to help. All because she disagrees with you about kink. That's all. That's all it took for me to get y'all telling me that I straight up deserved to be abused as a child, or that my neurodivergence makes me crazy.

This is how y'all love women? And y'all think kink is abusive, when you're behaving this way towards the very people you claim to love?

Radfems are a joke.

[whogivesa-ship]

The best/worst part is how I’ve reblogged the thread from those radfems multiple times and none of them have come after me at all. The most I’ve gotten is one person with a very short and unemotional response. Gee, I wonder if this is actually about controlling women’s sexualities and a man talking about kink doesn’t give them the same kneejerk misogynistic disgust.

[baixueagain]

Like honestly it is so important that people stop associating radfem solely with TERFs because it blinds y'all to how insidious, pervasive, and dangerous radfem rhetoric is.

Are radfems transphobic? Yes. But that's not all they are.

Radfem rhetoric is behind a lot of the queerphobia, biphobia, aphobia, panphobia, kinkphobia, polyphobia and sex negativity in general on this site. Their rhetoric is woven intrinsically into kink criticism and exclusionist ideology. But because it doesn't have "trans people are evil" on the tin, y'all are swallowing those pills wholesale without giving it a second thought.

And then, because "radfem" has come to mean "TERF" on this site, when people point out to you that you're parroting radfem rhetoric, you're able to easily dismiss it by saying "How dare you call me transphobic!"

My friends. Transphobia is not the only dogwhistle radfems use. It is not the only pillar of their toxic belief system.

Familiarise yourself with all their beliefs. Think critically about all of them.

If you don't want to be called out on spreading radfem ideology, make sure your ideals aren't borrowing from the more subtle and less overtly disagreeable aspects of their belief system.

[lezzyfeinberg]

imagine typing the word “kinkphobia” and thinking you have some kind of moral or intellectual high ground

[baixueagain]

Kinkphobia

Oops I did it again

[lucifers-salty-dickholder]

Anti-kink is inherently anti-sex which is, at the end of the day in current social climate, queerphobic and misogynistic (as these groups are more likely to experience criticism of their sexuality).

As long as all persons are of age and are participating in consensual risk-aware kink, it’s their own damn choice.

You don’t have to like all kinks (I sure don’t!), but controlling what people do in their own bedrooms is always conservative.

[baixueagain]

👏👏👏

[cliteralviolence]

Men are literally out here killing women in the name of “kink” but sure criticizing kink is “misogynist”, ok.

Consent is insufficient. It fails to address that rape culture exists- aka a culture rife with coercion, normalized sexual violence, and a culture of women feeling compelled to please men, a culture of shaming women for being “boring” and “vanilla” which I saw come from the notes in this very post.

And if you say kink only exists in the bedroom, you’re lying. The rise of internet access to porn has lead to an increase in the kink community who talk about their kinks on social media forums all the time- I mean you’re literally out here doing that right now, porn has been linked to an increase in child-on-child sexual assault. It’s classical conditioning.

I couldn’t give less of a shit which side of the political spectrum you think being kink critical falls, both the left and the right are misogynist, you’ve made that much obvious. It doesn’t matter. I’m a feminist first, women need liberation.

[criticalqueenlesbian]

Being anti-kink isn’t being anti-sex, as you can have sex without kink. Being anti-kink is being anti-violence, anti-misoginy, and anti-pedophilia, as you can’t have kink without at least one of them. 

[thesinisterspinster]

These people are seriously bent (its the porn) they think that the idea that everone involved in sex should have fully concented and be in a safe loving enviorment and derive pleasure from the exsperance is somehow sex negative. Like if you cant get off without hurting your partner or being hurt. Get some fucking therapy. And stop haveing hatefulled sex.

[baixueagain]

Newsflash! Kinky people have fully consented, are in safe loving environments, and derive pleasure from the experience. Our sex lives aren't hate-fuelled at all.

And I am in therapy, but not for kink.

Oh, and I had kinks long before I ever saw porn lmao. Kink has existed for millennia, and doesn't come from porn.

[thesinisterspinster]

Newsflah. Someone who beats you. Chokes you and calls you names doesnt actually love you.

[baixueagain]

I don't have a choking fetish, thanks, but it seems like you don't know how BDSM scenes work!

[thesinisterspinster]

Oh im fully aware of how they work. I belive its called trama bonding.

[baixueagain]

That's...that's not what trauma bonding is.

[thesinisterspinster]

Looked it up. Yeah thats exactly what i ment intermittent reward and punishment that forms a rather strong but not an alltogether healthy one. And i am saying this because i was in the system. I know what that shit felt like. And you can tell me you consent all you want. But im in here to let everyone know that they are worthy of love that doesn't come with pain or preformance. You dont have to let someone hurt you. To be worthy of gentleness or kindness.

[baixueagain]

Lmfao I know I'm worthy of love, gentleness, and kindness, and I know I don't have to let someone hurt me. I enjoy it. I ask for it. It's fun.

Really, all you're doing here is revealing how little you understand about kink, or how little you understand about people who think and feel things differently from you.

[thesinisterspinster]

If some hurts you... even if you ask for it. They dont love you. Sexual sadisim is a halmark of serial killers. Not a healthy loving person.

[whogivesa-ship]

Hi, sadist here. There’s a difference between sexual sadism and sexual sadism disorder. That difference is consent. When sadism is acted out on a nonconsenting person, it becomes a medical diagnosis. Otherwise it’s considered healthy and even common.