Discoholic 🪩
KIROKAZE
Janaina Medeiros
Game of Thrones Daily
Monterey Bay Aquarium
trying on a metaphor
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Peter Solarz
@theartofmadeline
YOU ARE THE REASON
Stranger Things
d e v o n
dirt enthusiast
Mike Driver
NASA
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macklin celebrini has autism
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@whoopsie-doodle
The site is '12ft Ladder' found here:
Show me a 10ft paywall, I’ll show you a 12ft ladder.
Reblogging this on ALL my blogs because holy shit is it useful
Unpaywall is useful too, it's a browser extension that pops up a little button when you open an academic journal and lets you know if there's another journal with the same article available for free.
sorry I just remembered when someone sent me an ask the last time i mentioned my mom talking to her financial advisor being like "you have a financial advisor how fucking rich are you wtf?" you know your bank offers meetings with financial advisors for free right.. you can just walk in and ask to speak to someone and they'll give you advice... like you need to know that is something most people can access... help
Another place you can get legitimate free or free initial meeting and then low cost financial planning/programs especially with paying down/off debts, or saving for major expenses is a licensed credit counseling agency (sometimes also called a DMP or debt management program). One of the licensing orgs is the NFCC or National Foundation for Credit Counseling. They're non-profit organizations and are not scummy so they don't have the money to advertise as much as all the shady and terrible companies who claim they'll help you but are trying to fuck you over.
Anyways the biggest donors to these nonprofits are usually banks because they're that good at helping people with finances/getting out of debt, and can help you across various companies (like if you have credit cards with x but a car loan with y, etc. they can help you get hardship arrangements with everyone all at once, but your bank is limited only to themselves).
https://www.nfcc.org/ various DMP's can be found through the NFCC, and almost all of them have a free consultation and most of their websites also just have free financial advice or blogs or whatever. Some of them offer specific additional kinds of advice or help - retirement planning, home buying, etc.
Editing to add:
My advice is USA specific but lots of other countries have non-profit credit advising/counseling programs of some kind
Here is the (government) consumer financial protection bureau website article What is Credit Counseling?
The relevant bit: "Most credit counselors offer services through in-person meetings at local offices, online, or on the telephone. To get started, you can try the Financial Counseling Association of America or the National Foundation for Credit Counseling. You can also view of a list of approved credit counselors through the U.S. Department of Justice." The FCAA is the other licensing agency.
This is the list from the DOJ of approved credit counseling agencies with regards to Credit counseling/debtor education (usually this comes up as a requirement when filing for bankruptcy, but they also offer other counseling services.)
Also, financial advisors are awesome at just…advising you about how finances work!
I contacted my bank for a meeting with an advisor for a rundown of how finances/credit cards/etc work when I became financially independent, because nobody teaches these things in high school. I also met with a financial advisor when I was about to get engaged because my spouse and I wanted advice about navigating marriage and separate/shared expenses(his MtG card collection vs our rent).
“Financial advisor” sounds like a term for someone you only work with if you’re part of the 1%, but actually it’s awesome for most people - including those of us who are figuring out their financial footing!
"oh you have an allergy? sorry I harassed you for being a picky eater, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a picky eater, I still get to harass those people"
"oh you have chronic pain? sorry I harassed you for being lazy, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a lazy person, I still get to harass those people"
"oh you're autistic? sorry I harassed you for being weird, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. it's good to know you're not actually a weird person, I still get to harass those people"
"oh you're deaf? sorry I harassed you for ignoring me, I didn't realize you had a valid reason. you're just not actually a rude person, I still get to harass those people"
"man why does everything have to be a disorder now? I miss the old days when people would TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for being failures and it was socially exceptable for me to harass them, now I look like a jerk when I bully people for annoying me."
Honestly and I am 100% about this, if someone apologizes for harassing you after finding out you are disabled in a way that affects the thing, straight up in no uncertain terms ask them if they think it is okay to be mean to a person who behaves that way if they don't have that disability. Watch them panic.
If they try to come up with justifications just keep "why is that?"ing them fuck em up
What's wrong with you?
Well, I asked chat gpt to explain it like I'm a child. Feels like a glitch in the matrix. Glad I finally have a science based explanation.
In short. The code sometimes doesn't transfer all needed material so I glitch a little.
Come along while I gain the courage to share my journey.
What's wrong with you?
Well, I asked chat gpt to explain it like I'm a child. Feels like a glitch in the matrix. Glad I finally have a science based explanation.
In short. The code sometimes doesn't transfer all needed material so I glitch a little.
Come along while I gain the courage to share my journey.
For this Disability Pride Month, I saw a post that was shittybad and it made me angry. So have this
you know what, shoutout to the neurodivergent people with "scary" symptoms.
the ones who:
-say dark things without realizing
-talk to themselves
-have homicidal thoughts
-get really, really angry
-make others uncomfortable on accident
-don't tolerate bullshit
-can't/won't mask
-have dark interests
-have genuinely hurt others before
-have been in a psych ward before
-obsess over people
-have intrusive thoughts about hurting people
-have sexual intrusive thoughts
-don't really care about others much
-always choose themselves first
-have low/no empathy
-are seen as creepy or scary by others
this goes out to my folks with autism that isn't "uwu cute". personality disorder havers. schizospec people. ocders. odd and ied havers. and anyone and everyone else.
this post does not support intentionally hurting people. but people who have hurt others in the past and have changed or are trying to change/in the process of changing are more than welcome here.
As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
Borderline people I'm sorry.
My psychiatrist (is that the one that prescribes meds?) Was telling me recently there's a huge push to relabel BPD as cptsd precisely because of how many people are so mean about it and so terrible and all. And because a lot of bpd is about maladaptive coping mechanisms due to so many various traumas.
Turns out with the Affordable Connectivity Program, ISPs CAN NOT shut off your internet.
Seriously. If you’re living in the US, and you’re at or below poverty line, sign up for the affordable connectivity program. it gives you like $30+ a month off your current internet bill and it makes it so they can’t disconnect you if you don’t pay them.
Yep! You don't even need to be at/below the poverty line... you can qualify if you make up to +200% poverty level plus there are a number of other ways your household may be eligible.
See if you qualify here.
Part of Biden's Infrastructure package of 2021.
What to do if you suddenly find yourself homeless
FOOD
Find your nearest food bank or mission, for food
grocery stores with free samples, bakeries + stores with day-old bread
different fast food outlets have cheaper food and will generally let you hang out for a while.
some dollar stores carry food like cans of beans or fruit
SHELTER
Sleeping at beaches during the day is a good way to avoid suspicion and harassment
sleep with your bag strapped to you, so someone can’t steal it
Some churches offer short term residence
Find your nearest homeless shelter
Look for places that are open to the public
A large dumpster near a wall can often be moved so that flipping up the lids creates an angled shelter to stay dry
HYGIENE
A membership to the YMCA is usually only 10$, which has a shower, and sometimes laundry machines and lockers.
Public libraries have bathrooms you can use
Dollar stores carry low-end soaps and deodorant etc.
Wet wipes are all purpose and a life saver
Local beaches, go for a quick swim
Some truck stops have showers you can pay for
Staying clean is the best way to prevent disease, and potentially get a job to get back on your feet
Pack 7 pairs of socks/undies, 2 outfits, and one hooded rain jacket
OTHER
first aid kit
sunscreen
a travel alarm clock or watch
mylar emergency blanket
a backpack is a must
downgrade your cellphone to a pay as you go with top-up cards
sleeping bag
travel kit of toothbrush, hair brush/comb, mirror
swiss army knife
can opener
Reblog to literally save a life
if there is a Dollar Tree near you, they have entire food aisles
Planet Fitness also has $10 memberships. you can shower and they have free food days! pizza night 1st monday every month, bagel tuesday the 2nd tuesday every month.
Save a life reblog
i am so glad that i renblogged this however so long ago. i saw this post and shared it with others in mind, but now i am the one who really needs this. id like to think of this as good karma i guess
also a good list if anyone ever needs to run away from home for whatever reason.
I’d also like to add that some YMCA’s will let you like,,, live in there (my dad lived in a ymca for a bit while he was in grad school till some guy who turned out to be a murder later on invited him to live on his couch BUT THATS A DIFFERENT STORY)
Pls reblog
depathologizing your own responses to things means no longer worrying about which symptom matches which diagnosis matches which branded treatment model and instead practicing gentle non-judgmental curiosity about what you’re going through from the perspective of someone who wants to fulfill one of the most basic and primal needs for you which is the sensation of being seen and heard
Huh... this feels profound, but I might have found it too early. This post shall return, perhaps at a time when I can accept it's meaning more fully.
At the time of writing this, I still don't really get it I think. I read through lots of other reblogs to hope to glean some context.
I think I understand at least a bit better, but I'm still stuck on some things. It feels a bit like it's saying it doesn't matter the source of one's symptoms. But that feels counter to "treat the cause not the symptom" which maybe I'm just assuming is the right thing.
Within my own symptoms that could be considered autism, I've mostly just found ways to treat them or even the situations that lead to those symptoms. Practicing better selfcare helps a lot. But 1) I struggled to develop those care methods before I had linked them to autism and it was only after learning about autism that I began to better grasp how to help myself, and 2) there isn't really anything else I CAN do. My brain just works this way. There isn't a pill I can take.
One of the reblogs compared this the OP thinking to queer labels. Finding a label can feel liberating, but attempting to use the most accurate labels to put yourself in a box isn't healthy. That I agree with, and if that's what the OP means then I think I understand that better. But I can't tell if that's the whole message.
It could also be that this post just isn't really about me. Maybe it's speaking more about "psychological/behavioral disorders" that society sees as the Bad People Mental Illnesses. I can't tell.
I was originally gonna just queue this for another six months to stew on it, but I think I need external assistance. Can folks who are reading this and got something out of it please explain in simple terms. I just feel like I'm missing something basic about the meaning of this.
thank you for your thoughts!
if it helps, no matter how helpful systems and categorizations of pathology are and continue to be to many people with symptoms contained and described within the dsrm, there is nothing neutral about them— you can look at the history to see that. while it can be helpful to label each and every one of your states of being with the correct diagnosis and all of its accompanying narratives and power dynamics, it is also sometimes an option to step outside of the sphere of pathology and into the sphere of ecology, theology, really anything else, if only for a few seconds. the symptoms and all of the work you did to identify them will still be there where you left them. no one can take them away from you.
I really appreciate this discussion, because so often the way this issue is discussed splits us into diametrically opposed camps of "connecting to a specific described condition/neurotype saves lives and helps us create community" vs. either "anything that comes out of the medical model or Big Pharma is inherently suspect" or "only the medical model and Big Pharma know anything worth knowing about this subject, and people have no business self-diagnosing from info found online".
The first two positions in particular are coming out of real lived experiences and personal reactions to histories of injustice, so it tends to be a debate people on both sides emerge from with fresh wounds. So I like seeing people engage with the fact that there is often a huge disconnect between how we feel about this stuff in a way that is non-judgmental.
I also really appreciate the acknowledgement that sometimes when we don't get something it either isn't addressing a situation quite like ours, or has reached us at a point in our journey where we can't yet fully grok its meaning, and hearing about how other people processed it (as opposed to "hearing evidence for the defence and the prosecution, which is sadly what so much discussion online turns into) may be helpful.
I like the idea that another standpoint does not have to intrinsically threaten or diminish ours, and I just wanted to sit with this a minute and say it out loud because that idea has less currency in the Discourse than it deserves...
[🦆 I'll bloom in my own time, the world can wait. 🌼]
This is your reminder to clean your emotional support water bottle.
Check the o rings for mold.
My current chronic pain struggle is taking my pain meds and not feeling like an addict.
Take your meds. Drink your water.
