Aggressive Puddles

Mess Maker: Professionally and Personally

[tiktoks-for-dead-pope]

[everythingfox]

Maned wolf in Brazil

(via)

[anachronic-cobra]

I will always see maned wolves as some kind of Avatar The Last Airbender hybrid animal. Fox-deer.

[actualaster]

Oh.

Its bigger than I thought it was

[spectraspecs-writes]

Maned wolves walk differently than most animals as well!! As it walks, its left side and right side move together. This is called a pacing gait, and if it moved the way most other animals walk, alternating the right and left side (see how your pet walks sometimes), it would trip over its own lanky lanky legs.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

i went to neopia and everyone there knew you and they said they miss you and told me to tell you hi

[omghotmemes]

Gotta make money somehow

[superiorjello]

The older this gets the funnier it is

[wildsoulz]

He is fingering me and I can’t cum. He looks angry like a pirate who follows the map but can’t find the treasure I close my eyes like the books say; imagine I am chasing nirvana through sunny, green meadows instead of squirming above a 26-year-old’s sweaty bedsheets with his mother in the next room I once told a boy I’d never had an orgasm but what I meant was, “I’ve never really felt okay inside.” I don’t know if the problem is up here or down there, but if you say them real fast they sorta sound the same, anyways; less than five minutes later, both of our mouths are exhausted. He says, “maybe you’re just not in the right mindset” I reply, “maybe you’re just not very good at oral” I grab my sneakers and never speak to him again (Sorry, Jack!) I ask my gynecologist about it (because that’s easier than asking my psychologist) so she peers into me with flashlight-bright eyes I am praying she sees the beast in my body One I’ve begged boys to taste, tongues wet on my thighs But she’s blind. So I ask my psychiatrist He says, “maybe promiscuity is not a solution, but a symptom” So I call my insurance company ask for a new doctor Not that it matters; I can’t hear them over the sound of my fake moans, anyways.

“Anorgasmia And Orgasmia” by Kelly Blaus (via wildsoulz)

[raineymazecave]

well that just mackles my more

[scissorspider]

i was about to joke about how my political stance is “end lawnmower culture” but then it occurred to me that i actually Am against lawns as suburban status symbols and wastes of land that Could be used to sustain native flora & fauna and grow food for people, but no, instead they are these huge useless swaths of land that need Constant maintenance, the process of which is not only destructive, but Incredibly Loud

[turtletot43-deactivated20180723]

You know that actually is the purpose of a lawn? They started as a trend of the French monarchy - the ones revolutionaries beheaded for being self indulgent assholes.

It exists purely as a status symbol that says, “I have land but I don’t have to use it for anything productive. I can invest time, money and resources in maintaining an entirely useless crop on land I’m not farming just because it looks pretty.”

Lawns offend me.

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

Why have that stunted golf course in front of your suburban house if you can’t even water it? Get one of these instead.

[pollymol-deactivated20181115]

Unite Against the Lawn

[vikingofficial-deactivated20241]

Pro tiny house, anti grass lawn. Prioritize practicality.

[whitefriartuck]

This is actually really interesting because back in the 1950s and 60s in Australia when we started getting large waves of Southern European migrants one thing the Italians and others would often so is buy a little suburban home, then tear out the ornamental flower beds and lawn and useless trees and plant fruits, vegetables, grapes and even olives. It was considered completely scandalous by their Anglo-Saxon neighbours because lawn was considered an aspirational thing and the ideal was to go from not needing a kitchen garden and having an ornamental garden to show how well you were doing.

[theradioghost]

in the words of the great Elizabethan wordsmith William Shakespeare, in Hamlet Act IV Scene V, “When sorrows come, they come not single spies, but in battalions.” or, in the words of the great Twitter wordsmith @Horse_ebooks,

[ritavonbees]

this is 1947 Cincinnati Enquirer erasure

[marisatomay]

please do not forget your smash mouth

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

[minebutluminous]

As so eloquently put by my sophomore year roommate:

“why can’t we just have one f-ing crisis at a time”

[maulgoths]

you know what F*CK gender norms

i’m going to jupiter to get more stupider

[takemetosnurch]

*grabs hand* No, we’re going to jupiter to get more stupider

[maulgoths]

[iirulancorrino]

Citizen Illegal, José Olivarez

[becherdireinen]

bastille is correct. how AM i gonna be an optimist about this?

[shangheists]

well if you close your eyes

[boykeats]

july in appalachia by keaton st. james

(patreon)

Keep reading

[whitepeopletwitter]

[dontmeantobepoliticalbut]

[anexperimentallife]

[kips-gifs-blog]

Finding Nemo – The twilight saga: New Moon – Parallels. 

I couldn’t be the only one that noticed the similarities. 

[midnightstan]

all im sayin is

[rosalie-alice-esme]

[vodcar]

country gnomes,

take my bones

[cryptidfuckery]

to a place,

they don't belong

[annabellioncourt]

see shit like this is the reason that it’s so hard to turn my back on this website. Where else, pray tell, are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense.

[druggeddraccus]

west virginia