If you want to get better at dialogue, sit down and listen to two people have a conversation and notice how often they say each otherâs names while doing so. Itâs far, far less than you think.
(Mouse requested a bedtime story about ânothing.â)
Once upon a time there was nothing, and it lived in the corner of Mouseâs room. There was space between the bed and the cupboard that was big enough for nothing else.
There wasnât much room for nothing in Mouseâs house. Everything everywhere had something in it, and sometimes more. Everywhere that looked like it might have nothing really had something, like dust or a cornflake or a LEGO head or a shadow, and if it looked like there was nothing for even a moment, someone would come and put something there.
It was very hard to be nothing in Mouseâs house. Every corner had something in it, and if it didnât, there was a spider living there. Everything was always some colour or another, and usually some noise. Everyone was always putting a book down on you. Or spilling Ribena on you and pretending they hadnât. Or complaining that there was no room for anything, and shifting about all the other things, but never making room for nothing - only moving it uncomfortably about the house. âNothingâs ever where I put it in this house,â theyâd say, but complaining.
And even when they werenât doing all that, they were always talking about nothing. Someone would always be tripping over it, and then would yell that they had tripped on nothing - there was no privacy for nothing around here - or they were saying that nothing was wrong. Even when it was quiet someone would say, âdid you hear that?â And, âwhat was that?â And, âit mustâve been nothing.â They would poke it; and then say out loud that they had poked nothing, but never got into trouble for it!
As a result of this, nothing began to feel cross, and put-upon, and uncomfortable. It was also a bit lonely, and wondered if it wanted to be something. So it thought very hard, and was SOMETHING.
This was certainly more interesting, and everyone came and looked at it, and said Look At That Thing, and That Really is Something. They poked it, and said they had poked something, and that something was there. They said, âI can smell something,â but with more interest this time. Then they spilled Ribena on it, and something came out of the corner and ran about the house, and everyone wanted to know all about it, and why the Ribena was in Mouseâs room in the first place.
Something was interested in the attention, because it was true - it really was something. It was chased all around the house now. Everyone said, âitâs up to something.â But instead of sitting quietly, something wanted something to do.
So something followed Mouse, but at a distance, because Mouse was always tripping on something. And Mouse and Mama went out in the pushchair, and something followed them.
Mouse said, âI see something!â And Mama said, âwhat do you see?â
And Mouse said, âI see GEORGE.â
With that, George had to be George, and was a boy thing. He was puzzled by this, and sat in Mouseâs lap, and was pushed around in the pushchair. âWhat is a George?â George asked.
Mouse explained that a George was a bit like a monkey, with a tail, red, with a face, a lot of red fur, and small, and smelly. Smelly of sharks.
âIâm smelly of sharks?â George said, quite unexpectedly upset by this. âWhat do sharks smell like?â
(George had only just stopped being nothing, and didnât know.)
Mouse explained how sharks (which astute grownups will remember are small BLĂ HAJ stuffed toys that mice incidentally shoplifted from IKEA, across which we shall draw the veil of amnesty) smell of bedtime, and possibly Ribena.
âI donât like that,â said George, and tried being George anyway. George went to the shop, and ran about on the floor for a bit, and everyone said, âwhat is THAT?â And it was George.
George said, âI want to go home,â so they went home, and went to bed with the shark.
But then George knew the end was coming, and so he said to Mouse, âthis is too much. I want to go home.â
and George didnât fit in his corner any more - because it was big enough for nothing.
So George went POP and turned back into nothing.
Mouse said, âyes,â and nodded. And Mouse talked to George anyway.
And then Mama came and said, âwho are you talking to, Mouse?â
that man has been trying to climb this tower since he was 16. he has asked multiple times, and every time they said no, but now heâs famous enough & variety was able to convince them to do a shoot on the tower. it all led here. it was all for this.
I've lived in Germany for 14 years so far. This discussion comes up at least once a year.
A summary of the most common points that come up.
Most Germans do not consider toast bread (i.e. wonderbread) bread.* It is a product you finish baking at home. I have eaten it untoasted many times** in front of them, and a significant number of people*** react in horror.
"Ungetoastetes Toastbrot" is a popular phrase that sounds as insane in German as it does in English to all who hear it, but the reason it sounds insane depends on if the German in question believes it is ethical and proper to consume it untoasted. Alternatively, there is the even more strange but not that uncommon "rohes Toastbrot" â raw toast bread. Which isn't the same as dough.**** Truly die-hard toasters will refer to the bread itself as "Toast" in all forms, as if that will manifest it as the only possible destiny for every slice in existence.
Toast bread is only unilaterally fit for consumption after it has been sufficiently toasted. There are discussions about what shade of toastage makes it "genieĂbar", but the general consensus is that it's toast the second it gets a crunchy crust through the application of heat. This might be achieved in a toaster, but using it to make a grilled sandwich in a pan, toastie maker or a contact grill is equally acceptable. Just letting it go stale does not count. The application of cheese, mayo or butter to the outside does not influence the becoming-toast process in either direction. The cooling down of the toast does not reverse the status change; not even if the toast is exposed to circumstances that revert it to its previous softness, or even make it soggy*****.
One more or less acceptable exception to toast bread needing to be toasted is when one orders 1) currywurst 2) without fries from a 3) street vendor who does not 4) stock white bread rolls and 5) does not advertise the currywurst as coming with a roll. Any deviation from those 5 points negates the toastbread clemency and is a legitimate reason for grumbling******. The toast bread also has to be of a generic brand, white and cut on the diagonal. One triangular half is an acceptable serving, but two marks a more generous******* vendor.
*They, incidentally, are joined in this sentiment by Norwegians. The Norwegians, however, sort it into the same category as baguette and loff (white bread); bread products with little flavor, vitamins, minerals, or fiber, and thus not really something you'd include as a major part of a "proper" meal.
**all standard issue German bread is cursed to go rock hard within 24 hours after baking unless it is hermetically and tightly sealed in plastic. There are many Germans who claim this is untrue and a bread box suffices to not make it so. I've got "proper" bread from other countries to compare it to, I've made my own bread to check, and can confidently say the German bread box enthusiasts are either hopeful and delusional, malicious and lying, or dentists with a mortgage to pay off. I'm guessing the nation as a whole offended Hestia at one point, and all offerings to appease her thus far have been insufficient.
***If you have friends who believe it needs toasting, them regularly trying to convince you to do so is a sign they care about your well-being and never give up hope for your self improvement.
****German toast bread philosophy has more layers than a croissant in that way.
*****This was a very heated debate between two of my coworkers, one of whom had wrapped a lightly toasted ham and cheese toastie in aluminium foil for lunch. She was accused of eating untoasted toast bread by one of her fellow toast-must-be-toasted fanatics and did not take kindly to what she perceived was an attack to her moral and dietary integrity.
******Serving currywurst without any bread or fries, however, is madness on par with eating hot soup with your bare hands.
*******Price for a 24 large slice loaf with no ends from my supermarket of choice: 2,19 âŹ, including 7% tax.
Okay. I was on my beloved AO3 and I saw something that made me do a double take. So, now I really want to knowâŠ
What is your AO3 user ID?
Iâm an OG user 5 digits or less
Six figures baby!
Iâm in the millionsâŠ
Remaining time: 5 days 9 hours
Iâm so curious to see how long people have been on AO3! I know some people have been on there since beta/invite only, but I would love to see what the number is on tumblr!
and honestly just people in general. yes some people donât have acne when they get older but also some people do and i want more of that please thanks
we have to start running a massive PSA campaign to young gay people so everyone understands there is a difference between being a dom and being a top and between being a sub and being a bottom. and also that sometimes you are neither a sub nor a bottom and you're just like shy. we need to be handing out flyers we need ads at every train station spreading the word
I have so much respect for the wee girls who do cartwheels for no reason regardless of context. like it's just their default idle animation. nothing else is happening might as well be upside down for a moment. iconic tbh
Sometimes your bad coworker will be like "I can't do anything right & I ruin everything I touch :(" and you can't even comfort them because like damn. Yeah. You really can't do anything right and you do ruin everything you touchâïž
kianamaiart
germansingergirl
titsay
dailybridgerton
2087
jacobvanloon
gummygunk
stormborns
turnnoffyourmind
