shit Liz says

21 year old living in the UK with no future.

[agirlandhisplatypus]

[newhologram]

NO “TELEPHONES”. TALK TO EACH OTHER. FACE TO FACE ONLY. WRITE A LETTER. SEND A TELEGRAM TO YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 1860. LIVE.

[vulgareconomics]

NO ‘WRITING’… TALK TO EACH OTHER. THROW A ROCK AT YOUR MOM. PRETEND IT’S 10,000 BCE.  LIVE.

[guavasaur-deactivated20141002]

URGGA. ROU GRAAURH. RUH.

<SMACKS HANDS ON WALL WITH PAINT.>

[flamingomd-deactivated20240122]

NO ‘HIGHER BRAIN FUNCTIONS’ …USE YOUR REPTILIAN BRAIN

EAT YOUR MOM’S CORPSE SHE DIED TO PROVIDE YOU WITH SUSTENANCE

PRETEND YOU HAVE JUST AROSE FROM THE SEA

SURVIVE

[thelegendofkungjew-archived-dea]

NO “MULTICELLULAR TRAITS”….. USE YOUR SYMBIOTIC MITOCHONDRIA

REPRODUCE ASEXUALLY, YOU’RE YOUR OWN PARENT

PRETEND IT’S 2BYA

EVOLVE

[edwardspoonhands]

NO “LIFE.” USE FUNDAMENTAL PHYSICAL FORCES TO FORM SPHERICAL OBJECTS REVOLVING AROUND ONE ANOTHER IN SPACE. 

FUSE HYDROGEN INTO HELIUM USING GRAVITATIONAL PRESSURE TO PRODUCE HEAT AND LIGHT. 

PRETEND IT’S 4.5BYA.

STABILIZE INTO EQUILIBRIA

[coldswarkids]

NO “MATTER”.  EXIST IN THE VOID WITHOUT PURPOSE OR MEANING.

THERE IS NO “YOU”, ONLY THE VAST CONCEPT OF NOTHING.

TIME DOES NOT EXIST.

BE.

[mrcheyl]

[jehovahhthickness]

How I want my bank account to look like by 25.

[amemoryofkaye]

Claiming it.

[clatchetuniversity]

Waaaaay up 🙏🏾

[muvadiam]

11:11am on the receipt.

[amethystafrodite]

Reblog for prosperity, and success. May you always have what you need.

[honeychaigoddess]

That’s what I’m saying

[stanleighhh]

In other words, this is the ATM receipt, reblog and money will come your way.

[frankpagmanua-deactivated201712]

Doesn’t hurt to try.

[skatedistrict]

Same place, different day.

[awesomeness2]

Awesome color study

[silver-tongues-blog]

fantasy adventure genre vs survival horror genre

[bigbosscangotohell]

years ago i watched this p/orn and the girl was screaming ‘oh god!! oh god!!!’ and the dude was like ‘there are no gods here’ and to this day it haunts me wtf was he talking about

[teesadutta]

5.16.17

[porterr-robinson]

[dyemooch]

Evidence of fowl play.

[aintnosuchthingastoothick]

I’m shawty in the shorts

[celestial-flaws]

lol I’m definitely the one with the cat ears

[goldnpoc]

I’m dead lml they funny!

[blameaspartame-deactivated20200]

Whup Tee Doo

[zackisontumblr]

Jo Ann has had ENOUGH

[weavemama]

THIS IS THE BEST USAGE OF MEMES I’VE EVER SEEN 

[rose-clementine]

[jacobdarvin]

[jury]

[nicejewishguy]

Wtf is sephora

It sounds scary

[starcades]

isn’t that the guy with the long white hair from final fantasy

[venatus]

no your thinking of sephiroth, a sephora is an angel belonging to the highest order of angels

[punlich]

No you’re thinking of a Seraph

A sephora is a second year college or high school student

[one-eyed-pom]

No, you’re thinking of sophomore. A sephora is when you use your phone to take a picture of yourself.

[lethalneuroses]

no, you’re thinking of a selfie. a sephora is a calm breeze.

[waffle-sorter]

No, you’re thinking of a zephyr. A sephora is one of those Greek vases with the two handles and the pictures.

[leeshajoy]

You’re thinking of an amphora. Sephora is the web browser you have to use on iOS devices.

[animatedamerican]

You’re thinking of Safari.  Sephora is an informal term for the seven-week period of counting the days between Pesach and Shavuot in the Jewish calendar.

[hhertzof]

You’re thinking of Sefiras. Sephora is a bright blue gemstone best known for combining with Ruby to create Garnet and lead the Crystal Gems, training Pokemon, and/or assisting Steel to fight against time’s intrusions into our realm.

[rareandradiant-maiden]

No, you’re thinking of sapphire. Sephora is actually a part of a flower; it protects the flower in bud and supports the petals in bloom.

[jewishdragon]

No, you’re thinking of sepal. Sephora is the wife of Moses, who lead the Israelites people out of Egypt. 

[osheamobile]

No, you’re thinking of Tzipporah. Sephora was an ancient Greek poet who inspired a lot of lady-lovin’.

[jeremywhitley]

No, you’re thinking of Sappho.

Sephora is the youngest of the five Marx brothers.

[optimysticals]

No, you’re thinking of Zeppo.

Sephora is the Heimdall’s sister.

[flatbear]

No no no guys, you’re thinking of Sif. Sephora is a venereal disease that turns your brain to swiss cheese, going so far as to destroy external features like the nose. Famous gangster Al Capone suffered from sephora.

[corruptinnocent]

No, you’re thinking of syphilis. Sephora is that radiant feeling you get when you have found perfect peace and happiness.

[emceescabaret-deactivated201812]

No, you’re thinking of euphoria. Sephora’s a fucking makeup store you dipshits.

[alexexotic]

Only blogging because this is my favorite tumblr post and i can never find it when I need to.

[500daysofbecky]

I really need everyone to see me throwing a piece of bread into a bears mouth.

Edit: since people are concerned I’ll clarify - these bears are not wild. They’re retired show bears. They’re very famous - google waving bears.

[ekjohnston]

somebody do the bred poem for this, pls.

[kelpsalsa]

i am bear

and wen its day

or wen the tyme

is com to play

i wand’r owt 

my woodyn shed

the car hath stopp’t

i catch the bred

[ekjohnston]

Y.E.S.

[dpquillings]

@marisolinspades

[llttlemermaid]

boys who can pull off facial hair are hot

[meladoodle]

i think you’re supposed to use a razor

[p-taters]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]