I just wanna be a magical sea unicorn

Cancer. INTJ. Slytherin. PL. Highly functioning fangirl. Pretends to be normal girl with not entirely awkward social life.

[catgirlforeskin]

My sister is doing pet play with women on roblox and I don’t have the heart to tell her it’s probably a kink for the others involved

[catgirlforeskin]

No, I can’t emphasize enough that she’s totally clueless about anything that could be weird about it, she just thinks it’s funny. I had to sit there with a straight face as she told me about how she made this girl eat off of a plate on the ground (in roblox) and sleep in a dog bed (in roblox) whenever she misbehaved and go “oh haha that’s so funny” and pretend like everything’s normal.

[ice-cream-asker-deactivated2026]

maybe

how old is she

[catgirlforeskin]

She’s in college, she isn’t like, a child

[ouppykittygirlmurderinstinct]

she looking for another dog?

[catgirlforeskin]

NO

[public-trans-it-deactivated2024]

Hey is your sister single (obviously not counting her harem of dog girls)?

[catgirlforeskin]

No she’s straight (but says she’d go gay for Taylor Swift) and has a boyfriend, sorry petplay girls

[queen-mihai]

Volunteering to stand in as this person's sister during this time of need

[catgirlforeskin]

I have a name

[unoisveimved-un-medicated]

This post really makes you take a deep breath and ponder...

[catgirlforeskin]

I swear to god if this blows up enough that it gets reposted on other social media and my sister sees you all wanting to be her roblox dog…

[alyanas-little-hideout]

this will be 100k notes. I feel it.

[catgirlforeskin]

Sorry liberals, despite 400 tags saying “posts that have 100k to me,” we’re capping out at a nice cool 11k. My white ass is not making it onto tiktok, no robot lady is going to read this text, and my sister is not seeing it. Thank you all for playing

[ironwoman359]

Don’t sell yourself short just yet

[catgirlforeskin]

Everything is fine. I’m going to live forever

[quendergeer]

never seen a notes total as a punchline before

[catgirlforeskin]

Since I've gotten dozens of asks and comments about this, NO, my sister still hasn't seen this post, but she is gay now

[argumate]

you bottle Miette??

[dhavaer]

You crush Miette like the grape?

[digitaldiscipline]

brick up mother in basement for ONE THOUSAND YEARS

[tzikeh]

The Cask of Miettellado

[hasufin]

Y'all are just absolutely committed to creating humor I cannot explain to my spouse, aren't you?

[strange-mischief]

“i’m in my slut era” i say as i open tumblr to read fanfictions of characters who don’t exist 

[nothingbutloveforyou]

little miss obsessed with love but doesn't believe it will happen to her

[mishastoesies]

“if no art makes you feel anything, make your own art and feel something” is too raw of a line to have come from a jenna marbles video of her painting a rainbow/polka dot seahorse saying “it’s seahorse time” on a denim jacket

[starseekrr]

[greenycrimson]

Why do you people feel profound thought has to come from high places? The gutter looks at the stars too

[aberrantemotion]

not only did you prove your point, but you showed an example of it in the same sentence

[doohans]

married otters<3

[neil-gaiman]

That Ben Affleck was Adele all this time has left me amazed. Truly his greatest role.

[beans-shadow]

I think Neil Gaiman is one of the only celebrities that truly understands what Tumblr users want.

[austin-butlerian-jihad]

amused-snorted at the post first, wondered what the hell previous commenter meant, backtracked to check op username and took it like missing a step down the stairs

[marcelshorjian]

the impossible return

[cadaverkeys]

The Scottish speedrun surgeon never fails to amuse me. 300% death rate in a surgery hall. One of life's greatest mysteries and deaths greatest successes.

[st3ll4-st4rstruck]

[cadaverkeys]

YKNOW. THE SPEEDRUNNING SURGEON WITH A 300% DEATH RATE.

[insomniac-arrest]

allow me to slip into something a little more… comfortable *removes green ribbon from my neck, screaming ensues*

[insomniac-arrest]

stop being funnier than me in the notes of my own post

[soracities]

Euripides, from “Orestes”, An Oresteia (trans. Anne Carson)

[santapau]

New Secret Knots comic - "In the Mirror"

[pyrrhiccomedy]

if you’re on tumblr over the age of 25 then you probably don’t have stable income. go pay your rent (:

this is the weirdest attempt at a burn. is this even supposed to be a burn? am I burned?

I have a bougie sell-out job at a tech company. that's inherently way more embarrassing than whatever this is

[frostyemma]

#one time someone tried to burn me on tumblr by telling me I 'probably had a small dick' and that 'science is boring anyway'#(I'm a cis woman so like...yeah. yeah you got me there)#honestly the kids these days#back in my day we knew how to make strangers on the internet feel bad about themselves for real#a dying art apparently

hiding your best burn in the tags

[ursulaklegay]

actually i love growing older and learning how i work as a person like realizing what kinds of fabrics feel best on my skin or what brand of yogurt i like best or how I want to be touched. watching myself change, enjoying brussel sprouts when I used to hate them as a child, understanding why I got angry in that one conversation 10 years ago… there are so many mysteries inside me that i have yet to unravel and there will always be more and sometimes i think maybe its all worth it

[neerasrealm]

It's the symbolism of the characters growing up by voting to end the violence that's plagued Derry their entire lives okay

[muppetmagic]

DERRY GIRLS ( 2018 - 2022 )

created by lisa mcgee

[wireless-memory]

brb just crying about derry girls ending