I think we're forgetting how to be human (me included)
I've had these thoughts swirling around my head for the past week and really needed to get them out lol. This one's a bit long.
Instead of naturally figuring out what makes us who we are, we're boxing ourselves into aesthetics and labels. We feel frustration when we try to stick to just one, which makes sense. We're not meant to be this... one thing. Our personalities become something meticulously curated and not something that's shaped by us living day to day.
We don't like change, and I've noticed this a lot with the way we treat celebrities, for example. We spam "they're back" in the comments when said celeb does something similar to what they'd done in the past. This could be the way they dress, the way they speak, etc. Half the time, they never left. They just grew up. We all did. They're not going to do their makeup at 37 the same way they did at 25. We don't like the same things or even do them in the same way forever. And that's fine. Again, we're not meant to. We aren't dolls.
This ties into us not liking change, but we don't want to age either. There're so many products that promise to "keep you ahead of aging," but that's part of the human experience. Instead of looking forward to it, we're taught that our youth should last forever. We freak out when our weight fluctuates even a little. And we put age limits on our interests. All this instead of simply living.
Social media has lost its empathy (even more than usual). Complimenting or standing up for a stranger online = glazing, expressing our feelings on topics we care about are hit with "it's not that deep," and we want people to live more "whimsy," but pick apart those we find remotely cringe. Speaking of which - we aren't allowed to be cringe anymore! Have y'all notice there's no awkward tween phase anymore? Kids want to jump straight into adulthood because they fear being seen as the "weird little kid" (even though that's part of growing up).
We're teaching each other how to be everything but human. We critique/hate more than we lift each other up or educating someone in a respectful manner. We "humble" strangers on the internet for having a lick of self-love. And we crave community but most of us are too hyper-individualistic to know how to be in one.
But all this negative rambling aside, there are ways that you and I can make the internet (and real life) a little kinder.
Think before you type (and speak)! Is what you're thinking really what happened based on a 10 second clip? Was there enough context to come to your conclusion? Is what you're about to say meant to be helpful or are you doing this to get a reaction? Be honest with yourself.
Remember that your feed does not have you in a chokehold. You have the freedom to scroll past whatever is frustrating you. In fact, take a moment to dive into these frustrations. Ask yourself why said post upset you and either write it out, record a voice memo, etc. There's no reward for disrupting your own peace. It could be time to tweak your algorithm! Interact with content that resonates with you and if it's been a while, clean up your "following" list.
Allow yourself to like what you like, regardless of aesthetic! Pinterest is cool, but don't let it define your whole world. Focus on how an item or hobby makes you feel, not whether it fits a certain style or not. There's nothing wrong with wanting to indulge in an aesthetic, by the way. I do it, myself. Just don't let it take total control.
Lastly, be gentler with yourself. Speak to yourself with softness, respect your interests (if they're not causing you or other harm), and make it a goal to simply exist as you are. Give yourself the permission to feel deeply in an era where we're being shamed for doing so and to love the person you see in the mirror, no matter your current state. Give yourself permission to live in a way that's not always Instagram worthy.
Life's not perfect and neither are we. That's what makes this all such a beautiful experience. It's what makes us appreciate the little things the way we do. Because they won't stay the same forever.
