Carpe Diem

I'm really lame, but at least my roommate thinks I'm okay.

[madqueensarah]

If you’re an adult, do the stuff you couldn’t as a kid.

Like, me and my sister went to a museum, and they had an extra exhibit of butterflies. But it cost £3. So we sighed, walked past, then stopped. We each had £3. We could see the butterflies. And we did it was great. We followed it up with an ice-cream as well because Mum and Dad weren’t there to say no.

I was driving back from a work trip with 2 other people in their early 20s, and we drove past a MacDonalds. One of the others went “Aww man, I’d love a McFlurry.” And the guy driving pulled in to the drive through. It was wild. But it was great.

I went to a park over the weekend and I was thinking “Man, I’d love to hire one of those bikes and cycle round the park.” It took me a few minutes to go “Wait, I can hire one of those bikes!”

I guess what I’m saying is, those impulsive things you wanted to do as a kid - see the dinosaur exhibit, play in the fountains with the other kids, lie in the shade for 2 hours - you can do when you’re an adult. You have to deal with a whole lot of other bull, but at least you can indulge your inner 8 year-old.

[mlarayoukai-archive]

You show a cat something and they're like sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff sniff ooooh I understand now. Don't care

[beaft]

my cat hates taking his pills. the only way we can get him to eat them is to turn it into an elaborate pantomime - we take the packet out of the cupboard slowly and hold it up, saying “oh!! what’s this? what’s this? a TREAT? a TREAT for louis????” while making surprised faces. we offer him a pill… then, before he has a chance to sniff it, we wag our fingers at him and replace it in the packet so it becomes a Tantalising Forbidden Mystery. we continue doing this until he’s so confused and excited that he will eat the pill as fast as possible, just so he can find out what it is before we can take it away from him again. as soon as he’s eaten it he looks utterly disappointed and betrayed, like a child who just ate a delicious sweet only to find it was a chocolate-coated brussels sprout. it never gets old

[autumngracy]

Op this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

[fucktheflagandfuckyou]

op how could you just hide this from me in the tag this makes this objectively 10000000% funnier

[stalling]

50 First Doses

[skyline-sunset-in-my-veins]

You trick Louis? You trick Louis like a common fool? Oh jail, jail for owners ONE MILLION YE-oh what’s this? A treat?

[sleepingpigeon]

no one wants to hear it but love is earned after the initial infatuation. commitment is something u both mutually agree to and then from there it’s work. it’s not work like it’s a chore it’s jus work like it takes effort. to get good at these things takes practice. it takes practice to learn to communicate better and it takes practice to learn to love each other in the ways u need to be loved.

[oodlenoodleroodle]

And it’s also terrifying! Like it’s the kind of vulnerability you can’t do while being all cool and in control of things, you have to like open up the really awkward, ugly inner part of yourself and hope that the other person is still into you. 

Like you have to actually say - with words coming out of your mouth or hands or whatever way you use to directly communicate in person - what you would like from the other person! You have to say stuff like “hey the thing you did made me feel some ways and we have to address this like adults” and hope that the other person says “I see, yes I also think we should address this like adults” (instead of “no I didn’t” or “you’re overreacting” or other shut-down-ing shit that ruins lives). 

[picturesimlivinthru]

Worth the read my oh my

[thegreenpea]

[theundergroundwoman]

a haunted house is the memory of your ex-friend’s home that you know like the back of your hand but will never step foot inside again

[kosmogrl]

[why-and-or-bother]

The doctor being a creature of stories is something I don’t think a lot of people notice or interpret, which is why I never really care about canon or lore or continuity errors when it comes to Doctor who, because it’s not about how one story fits into another but how the current story is being told through the vehicle of “the Doctor”

[cafffine]

be pro-aging but wear sun screen. sun protection is not beauty industry propaganda it will save you. wear it. or else.

[rheumaticrhetoric]

[shamebats]

Cats getting caught doing crimes

[flipocrite]

it takes quite a bit of social intelligence for a creature to understand:

I know what I am doing is wrong

I know there is an activity that looks similar that is not wrong

If I am quick I can plausibly pass one off as the other

[gingerhastoomanyobsessions]

these cats are displaying remarkable theory of mind skills by not only registering that the humans can perceive them but actively trying to manipulate that perception! that requires one to be aware that other individuals have complicated interior thoughts of their own, to know that those thoughts are not always based on truth, and to quickly decide on the best possible “lie” for the situation. this is why I despise animal intelligence tasks based on obedience— some of the most clever moments stem from intelligent disobedience.

[floating-goblin-deactivated2021]

the unholy trinity of piss-poor caretakers, tag yourself:

tomboy, meaning "this child is clearly queer but let's hope it goes away"

sensitive, meaning "clearly neurodivergent and often distressed but let's keep going until they grow numb"

mature, meaning "traumatized but let's ignore that"

[sepiascissors]

quiet, meaning "has been yelled at or ignored a few too many times and now considers all attempts at communicating with others to be pointless"

self-sufficient, meaning "next to zero trust in parental figures' ability in various aspects of parenting"

lazy, meaning "depressed, but expected to preform tasks or actions without positive support or knowledge of how to do things"

[agentwaffle]

Y'know, if you're gonna call me out in so many damn flavors can we at least have blue raspberry?

[definitely-not-a-plant]

blue raspberry, good "mmmmm" tasty. isnt real.

[pilgrimattinkercreek1974]

Oh ok so it turns out ive been borrowing grief from the future ! it turns out ive been preparing to lose the things i love rather than basking in the light of them while they last. Maybe i should nt do that

[twoheadedfawnn]

you ever feel like you were born with something rotten inside you and if people get close enough they’re gonna find out

[choysum]

[their-we-go]

and i'm going to.

[halles-comet]

I’ve been listening to the people in the apartment below me have arguments for two years now and I still can’t figure out what language they’re speaking. The best I can narrow it down is like if Portuguese and Hebrew had a baby. Is that a common pidgin combination

[halles-comet]

I just listened to a clip of this and jesus christ you fucking got it. there are like 3500 people in the whole united states who speak this and two of them are in a very fraught marriage four feet below me

[moonlipgloss]

posts that make me want to rip my heart out part 5

[redstonedust]

having depression makes your friends seem like the coolest most put together people on earth like wow... you got out of bed, had breakfast, went to work, AND spent some time on a hobby when you got home....? that's so impressive you're like superman or something. can i borrow your power.

[prokopetz]

What we’ve gotta understand is that “the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults” and “the modern Internet is abolishing space for children” are compatible phenomena. Neither group is being favoured: the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for adults (i.e., because grown-up topics aren’t advertiser friendly) and the modern Internet is abolishing spaces for children (i.e., because online communities which consist principally of people who have no money are hard to sell things to). The Internet that contemporary corporate interests are trying to build isn’t a space for anyone – it’s the digital equivalent of an Ikea showroom.

[prokopetz]

Like, when I say that the greater part of contemporary social media is fundamentally hostile to human life, I’m not indulging in hyperbole or constructing an ironic metaphor. I mean that 100% literally.

[hyperlexichypatia]

Absolutely, the enshittification, censorship, and general usability of the contemporary internet is hostile to all ages of humans.

But also, and I know I feel like a broken record here, but as a cultural phenomenon in meatspace as well as the internet, the notion that everyone needs age-specific designated spaces is incredibly harmful to society as a whole. The early internet was not age-segregated, and neither were most meatspace places at the time the intenet was new! 13 year olds interacted with 50 year olds and nobody died! And the fragmenting of both physical and digital spaces into microdemographics was a step on the way to the current enshittification scene!