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This is where I let out my inner thoughts. Writing has always been my passion and I had let it fade away...And I need to get back into it and this is where I will share. I will tell stories, raw emotions, feelings, and or just random qoutes or thoughts. Things will not be fully correct grammar or spelling wise, but the more you write the better it will all get.

[poofthereslove]

Since all y'all are the fucking black sheep I guess I'll be the mother fucking rainbow sheep!

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

And sometimes it gets bad again and you don't know why....and you can't seem to pull yourself out of that slump...

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Cry for help

A cry for help

You refuses to hear

Spoken words

Wasted

Only because of your own selfishness.

Its quite sad really

The game that you play

The game of the victim

I tell you im tired

And you simply reply with i am too

And go on about how much you do

You put that on yourself

Thats entirely up to you.

When i say im tired

Its because i cant sleep

Havent slept good in weeks

The demons want let me

They keep me awake

Making me question every bit of why im still alive

Telling me im worthless

It want get better

No one really needs you

I lie there stairing at the ceiling

Praying to fall asleep

In hopes i want wake up.

But your tired because you worked a double that you didnt have to

Because your trying to hard.

Your physically tired.

Im mentally and emotional tired

Ive fought with these demons time and time again

You would think i would learn

I dont

I still foolishly let them in

Knowing they mean nothing but to harm me

Harm the way i think of things

People

Myself.

But you ignore my cry for help

Only for your selfish needs.

And once again as i lie here

Because i cant sleep

I think of the cry for help

And how pointless it was

Because you didn't care

You never have

If it doesn't effect you in any way

It doesn't matter

Ill never reach out to you again

Knowing my hand will only be slapped away.

Another cry for help gone unnoticed...

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

I wish we would...

have laughed more

taken more pictures together

even though you wouldn’t allow it

hung out more

done more mother daughter like things

Walked around more

Talked about life more

What would my children call you Ma, Memaw, Nanny, Granny, something else completely different

Who’s gonna hold my hand when I find out I’m with child

Who’s gonna go with me when I try on my wedding dress

What about my wedding day

Boys advice.

I am still just a child.

25 I’m still a child…

Your child…

Your hellion

Your child that knows little about life

Yet has so much life ahead of her.

Your child who wants to call you on a daily

But can’t You're no longer within a call away

You are miles away

In a place, I can’t reach

Until it is my time.

I struggle without you Ever day…

I wonder how different my life would be if you were here

I remember my teenage years

We didn’t get along

I couldn’t stand you

I wish those days were back.

I would treat you better

Try to be a better child.

I grew up and I learned

I know now that I don’t hate you

And what you did was best for me.

I am helping raise my brother now

And I get all the tough love you gave

I see in your light,

I get why you did certain things

I am sorry for everything I ever did

To make raising me hard.

I'll do better or at least ill try.

I know I've let you down,

But I am trying to pick myself back up again

Losing you was hard

Knowing there is no way to get you back Makes it harder

I need your advice and your guidance.

Things don’t get easier you just get used to them…

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Forever alone...

Love is so important to me

My sign lives for it.

Yet here I am alone.

Everyone around me is happy

Finding someone to spend the rest of their life with

I lay here alone.

I am not one to chase,

But I am also not one to wait.

Love will come to me in time

That’s what I keep telling myself

I wait for him,

My one true love.

Things that only happen in fairytales.

I want those to be mine.

I want someone to wake up too and to be with.

To have and to hold forever…

On good days, bad days, and okay days.

But it appears that I am just

Forever alone.

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Sorry you feel this way...

I’m sorry you feel this way.

That I hate you

I don’t

The way you’ve been acting maybe

But not you…

I think what it is…

Is that you hate yourself

For how you’re acting

How your life is turning out

And how you have done everyone

You’ve lied and cheated

Twisted words and manipulated

Been childish and hateful

You made your bed now lay in it!

I’m not playing your dramatic game

I guess you win that

But this games isn’t for winners or losers

It’s for fakes, liars, and haters

I’m neither of those things

And never will I be

I gave you the real me

And you used that to hurt me

Turned it all around

Used my good heartedness

And played me like I was stupid

I wised up real quick.

And put my guard up.

I couldn’t keep up with that game

And never intended too.

Why would I?

You should be ashamed of all you have done

This game you play

Is for people…

People who aren’t happy with their lives

So they think of a way to mix the pot

See what comes of it

It’s never anything good

Losing friendships and relationship.

One by one they go

I feel for the man who is with you

He deserves better but he is blinded

By your beauty and by the sweet lies you tell

You’ll never truly love him

Just what he can give you

It is another one of your games.

Isn’t it?

When he can no longer give you what you want

You’ll hunt for something else.

That can keep up with your high maintenance lifestyle

You say that doesn’t matter

Then give it all up

See how far you go before you crumble

Without your fake nails, eyelashes

And all that make up you hide behind

In your eyes, you are nothing without those things

Worthless and ugly

But the only thing truly ugly about you

Is the way you play people and play their emotions.

And when you’re done you play the victim.

Funny thing is you’re quite the opposite.

You are not a helpless little thing.

You just pretend to get attention

You feed off of it

Inflate that ego of yours

Then run off.

That’s why you

Got everything with a dick wrapped around your little finger.

So when your ego starts losing air

You can blow it right back up

That’s fine it’ll all blow up in your face one day.

Like it already has started to

Then you’ll look around

And you will be the only one there

Everyone will get sick of your games

And then you’ll realize how bad you fucked up.

So keep your game up sweetheart.

You’ll see one day

That you were foolish

And honestly, I am not gonna stick around

To see how your games play out

I don’t care and for me, the game ends here….

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

She...

Perfect.

That one.

She deserves more than 

You can ever give her

She has cried for you

For years now

And you’ve done nothing

But let her go on believing 

That she had a chance

Made her believe that 

True love was out there 

That you were Mr. Right 

Boy, was she wrong. 

Wrong about a lot.

But you still gave her that feeling of hope.

That there is a good guy out there 

That’s perfect for her 

That will sing her songs

Drive around for no reason 

Loves to be with her. 

Hold her when she scared

or until she goes to sleep

Makes her feel safe.

Make her feel wanted. 

Understand her pass. 

Make sure she knows you 

Will not treat her the same. 

She deserves better. 

Better than you. 

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Daydreamer...Night Thinker...

Daydreamer...

I can't tell you how many times I day dream

Daydream about us

What we could be

Should be

Might be

One Day.

Daydream of road trips with you

Acting a fool

Signing

Dancing

. Holding my hand as you drive.

Random quick kisses at stop lights

and before you leave

Long kisses in the rain

or when we don't wanna say goodbye

Cuddling...after a long day after work

Holding one another

Holding hands as we walk down the road or around the park.

Daydreams...

Long trips just you and i

Seeing the world

Going to a beach because you've never been.

Fast forward a little while

Daydream about

Our wedding

Our marriage

Our kids

You want three to seven

I want at least two Three it is no more than five

Daydream about our wedding

I walk down the alise linking my arm with my daddy

Locket of my mama wrapped around flowers

Seeing you at the end smiling waiting in me there

Five of my best friends waiting too

They know how long I've wanted this.

I had been awaiting this day all my life

Every detail plays out in my head

From our first kiss as Mr. and Mrs. Blank blank

To our first dance.

I'm so nervous and you guide me perfectly

I lay my head on you chest feeling safe as you lead.

Daydreams...

Of our perfect little life

Night thinker...

Life's not like that

It's not a fairy tale.

We aren't on that track.

Seems like the train derailed.

No kids

No marriage

No wedding

No dating

Possibly no friendship before all is said and done

. Night thinker

Dream Destroyer.

All the day dreams fade into a dark pit

Never to see light.

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

How dare you...

Hurt her.

Use her.

Beat her.

Make her feel unwanted.

Throw her away.

Ignore her.

Not care for her

Make her cry.

Break her.

Laugh at her.

Cause her have feelings that you have no plans on returning.

Make her feel like you care.

Play her like she one of your games.

Tell her she has a good guy.

Promise her the future.

Lie to her.

Open up the part of her she scared to show,

And then run from her.

Take her innocents.

Not talk to her.

Abuse her.

Leave her when she needed you.

Let her go unappreciated.

Bring her down.

Make her forget her worth.

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

And today...

I realize there may be hope

You said you missed me

It was the first time

That you had said 

anything like that ever

I was shocked.

I even jumped and screamed. 

Stupid smiled but I wasn't ashamed

I haven't felt this much joy in a while

It was all you…

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Moved on….

I have moved on from the childish games

Moved on from getting played

Moved on from getting hurt

I have moved on I’m not gonna look back

There is no need in that…

I have moved on to some better…

You have had your chance you lost it I moved on.

Your last chance was something you wasted it, I moved on

If you try coming back you should move on too.

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

I hate…

 Not knowing how to make it better.

Not knowing what to say

Worrying about you.

And you not explaining what is troubling you

That I don’t think you trust me like I trust you

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

Why…

Do you play this game?

Do you lead me on?

And am I last choice?

Does it feel like things have changed?

Do I still care?

Haven’t I heard from you?

Do I feel like this?

Do you lie?

Just tell me why.

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

We have….

Been talking for over a month now

Since we started talking again

I'm happy yet losing my freaking mind.

How do you feel?

How do I feel?

I'm not sure anymore but

I wanna find out soon.

Maybe in the next few months, I will…

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

I wish...

You would just talk to me

Tell me what’s wrong

What's going on

I want you to know what’s bugging you

Want to know you can trust me

Please just open up to me I have

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

And now...

Now I feel like an idiot again. Like why bother.

I knew I would get upset, I knew this would happen.

I knew I would worry…and now I sit here thinking

Hey, maybe he’s just busy today…ugh, why are you so confusing.

I hate when you play with my heart strings like a messed up song. 

[writefromtheheartandsoul]

I just don’t get the same joy I used to talking to you.