30 Days of Writing Challenge
Day 1
Depression and Anxiety
For many years now the biggest hurdles in my life seem to always have anxiety or depression at the root of my problems. For anyone that has experienced either, you know how impossible of a mountain it seems to conquer. For years now I’ve always blamed myself. I had friends, family, boyfriends, co-workers, and many others push me as far away as possible when my depression and anxiety would have their spikes. They’ve always blamed me. They’ve told me I’m crazy, my brain is broken, that I’m worthless, meaningless, nothing. That all of the issues it caused were always my fault. I’ve had everyone tell me to fix myself. To be normal. They’ve said I will never be loved, that I’ll never be anything unless I can fix my broken mind.
It has taken me entirely too many years to realize something.
It’s not my fault.
Breaking down in the middle of a store because of an anxiety attack doesn’t make me worthless or crazy.
Wanting to end my life doesn’t make me broken.
I am who I am, and I’m done being ashamed of myself. I’m done letting others tell me what I am. I’m done letting them describe my mental illness. It is part of who I am.
Most describe it as being weak. That I have nothing to be depressed about, so stop laying around in bed and get up. That I make up my anxiety, just calm down already and you’ll be fine. That my weakness is what I need to fix and to stop using it as an excuse.
They are wrong.
Anxiety and depression do not make me weak.
They make me strong.
Weakness is someone that refuses to accept a mental illness. Weakness is belittling someone for feeling depressed. Weakness is making fun of an anxiety attack. Weakness is rolling their eyes when they see my self inflicted scars and calling it overly dramatic.
Weakness is not understanding, and not listening when you try to explain in.
Depression and anxiety are battles that we face every day, and no one should ever feel ashamed for that.
I am strong. I am not just my depression. I am not just my anxiety. And neither are you.
Ignore these people that try to drag you down. Whether it’s because they are weak, scared, heartless, or just don’t understand, ignore their hate. Negative energy will never help. Remain positive.
Show them this positivity. And don’t blink an eye when they try to throw their negativity back at it. Because some of these people will change. Some of that same positivity can rub off on them, and hopefully change the way they treat people.
We are all humans. We all have emotions. We are all different.
The golden ones will understand. They will always stand by your side. They will love you. These are the people we must never lose. Because they're the rarest of them all.
Fight negativity with love and happy energy.
You are not your mental illness. You are strong. You are unique. You are you. And that is all you ever have to be.
Writings of a Walrus
