gluten-free lemon bars with almond flour shortbread crust
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@wyrmieeats
gluten-free lemon bars with almond flour shortbread crust
Follow for recipes
Is this how you roll?
The recipe:
PUMPKIN PUDDING PIE w/ ORANGE ZEST & CARDAMOM WHIPPED CREAM
(makes ~3 pies)
2½ cups sugar
15oz can pumpkin puree
2 eggs
½ tsp baking soda
2 cups flour
2 tsp baking powder
½ tsp ground cinnamon
¼ tsp vanilla
pinch of salt
2½ cups milk
4 TBSP butter (melted)
1 orange
1 tsp powdered sugar
1 cup heavy cream
2 TBSP powdered sugar
1 tsp cardamom
pinch nutmeg
pumpkin pudding pie w/ orange zest
preheat the oven to 325°F
prepare the pie crust (that's another recipe's job—either find a scratch recipe or buy a pre-made dough or graham cracker crust)
blend 2 ½ cups sugar, pumpkin puree, eggs, and baking soda in a large mixing bowl (if using a mixer, blend with a paddle attachment)
add the flour, baking powder, cinnamon, vanilla, and salt; blend until well mixed
add the milk and melted butter, whisk until well mixed (if using a mixer, blend with the whisk attachment)
pour your batter into the crust, filling right up to the edge (the mix will be more liquid than solid, but it will rise/solidify in the oven)
bake at 325°F for 55 minutes
remove from the oven and let it cool
top with sifted powdered sugar
zest an orange over the top of the pie (microplane if possible but regular zester is fine; have found that the most aesthetically pleasing version is to peel the orange and then finely dice the peel but that's a hassle!)
whipped cream
put your metal mixing bowl and whisk in the freezer for at least 15 minutes
whisk powdered sugar, cardamom, and nutmeg together in bowl
add heavy cream; whisk until stiff peaks start forming
serve on a cooled pie :)
Easily Paleo-ified with some tweaks to the stir-fry sauce.
Love healthy food & fitness? Follow Awesome Fitness Recipes on Instagram
Carrot Cake Cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting
You think? Let’s test that then!
First, you gotta get a cool cup. I got this one from a thrift store for a very affordable price. But if you can’t find one, a standard clear cup or jar should suffice
Now, you don’t need a decal, but I recommend it because they’re cool. I just got some sticker vinyl, traced and cut out the Wii logo and some stars
Now for the drink!!
Start by making or buying jelly. If you make it, you should do so a few hours before you intend to make the drinks, as it will need time to set. You can find jelly at most any grocery store.
Get your cup and add ice and jelly. You should cut the jelly into small pieces or use cookie cutters to make fun shapes. I recommend you don’t add quite all of the jelly, as you’ll need some for the top later
Next, add your flavoring syrup of choice, I recommend blue raspberry or melon. You should be able to find them at any restaurant supply store
Then, add carbonated water. Flavored sparkling waters also work fine, as they don’t taste like much. You should be able to find some at any store that sells drinks.
Next add Calpico, this is technically optional, but it tastes way better with it, so it’d highly recommend it. You can get it at practically any Asian market, or normal market if you live in Asia
Now, add some ice cream, or something of the sort, I use vanilla.
After that, you can top it with some whipped cream, jelly shapes, cherries, really anything!!
I would also recommend using a straw to drink it, because you will need to mix it up a bit. but you can’t really mix it before hand, because it will ruin the cool gradient affect
If anyone makes this, please rb with your results!! I wanna see!!
it’s time
ITS NOT TIME ITS FUCKING MARCH I DONT WANT TO SEE THIS
it’s time
237 more days till halloween! ITS LIKE NEXT MONTH GUYS
I have a feeling someone had this queued for an entire year just so they could post this in march
I T S T I M E
ITS TIME
IT’S MARCH YOU ANIMALS
IT’S LITERALLY MARCH 8TH 2017 THE FUCK IS THIS DOING ON MY DASH
ITS MARCH , 2018.
ITS TIME
I swear tumblr has a thing about March. What’s going on? I thought I knew all of tumblr’s secrets.
Well I guess I haven’t even been here for a full year yet, so…
it’s time.
Time
INTERNATIONAL HOLIDAY
March 2, 2019
IT’S TIME
@thefingerfuckingfemalefury
<3 IT’S TIME <3
guys we are only 100,100 notes off we can do this!
IT IS TIME
MARCHOWEEN
honest to fuck, after the year-long March 2020, y’all can celebrate Halloween whenever the fuck you want. Time has no meaning. It has always been March. it will be March forever.
World Heritage Post
March 1, 2023
and this gem is back on my dash <3
it’s march 2023 motherfuckers
MARCH MARCH
Guys …. I think it’s time.
MARCH MARCH
happy halloweeen!!!!!!
I feel like this is gonna just haunt me literally forever
hey jsyk while hellofresh is dummy expensive and i wouldn’t reccomend it if you already know how to cook (if you’re a beginner like i was when i had it for 3 months, then it’s worth it), you should know that ALL OF THEIR RECIPES are free on their website and they all fuck hard
i will say that all the cooking instructions for veggies are pretty much the same (season with salt + pepper and roast on the top oven rack at 425F), but if it ain’t broke don’t fix it.
that being said, it also introduced me to methods i wasn’t at all expecting. i would have never thought to use cream cheese in my meat sauce, and now all my friends are constantly asking me to make my special rigatoni.
happy cheffin! :)
I am a person who uses Hello Fresh for realsies because it is a bit cheaper than groceries here and definitely cheaper than takeout, but we also remake the recipes when we want a specific one and don't want to wait for it to come around in the rotation again, and therefore I know The Secret Translations of Proprietary Ingredients:
"Cream sauce base" = make a roux, add milk according to how much cream sauce base you're supposed to have (ex: 4 oz cream sauce base = 4 oz milk)
"1 packet stock concentrate" = either one tablespoon Better than Bullion or, if you want to be really accurate, Savory Choice Broth Concentrate packets are available on Amazon and allegedly that's what they use
"Italian Heat Spice"/"Blackening Spice"/"Fry Seasoning"/etc.: I promise you someone on Reddit has figured out what spices they use and in what proportions for each mix, if it's not just a straight up branded mix (like McCormick Grill Mates Brown Sugar Bourbon spice mix)
"Roasted Garlic Herb Butter" (and other compound butters, like truffle butter) = they're literally Epicurean branded butters, they do not hide this, you can buy them online
"Sweet Soy Glaze"/"Ponzu sauce"/"Hoisin sauce" = literally Kikkoman brand condiments: they don't hide that, either
"Sweet Thai chili sauce" = any sweet Thai chili sauce from the grocery store will do. We use Blue Dragon or Taste of Thai because that's what we can get in our grocery store.
If anyone made this for me. I can’t even describe what I’d be willing to do for them
Turned on TikTok today and got a video from Spiders Georg. Amazing.
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the processed frozen chicken in the stores is made from it. Basically, the entire chicken is smashed and pressed through a sieve—bones, eyes, guts, and all. it comes out looking like this. There’s more: because it’s crawling with bacteria, it will be washed with ammonia, soaked in it, actually. Then, because it tastes gross, it will be reflavored artificially. Then, because it is weirdly pink, it will be dyed with artificial color. But, hey, at least it tastes good, right? High five, America!
oh my god
bitch that’s the tubby custard machine
date of origin: 2012
A classic
this just makes me wanna get some nuggets from mcdonalds for some reason
the fact op thought they could even get away with that blatant misinformation in the first place when the graphic they used was the fucking Tubby Custard machine amuses me like.
Even if you didn’t know what Teletubbies was that thing does not at all look like something you’d find in a factory, it’s colorful and colors cost extra.
that’s because OP’s post is a joke
I feel weird that I’m been here long enough to remember the original context–OP is mocking this post:
the picture clearly looks like some sort of strawberry ice cream, so OP did a copypasta of the original text and replaced with picture with something even funnier.
Both posts went around a lot, but it’s funny that the second, mocking post is now being reposted like OP is some kind of idiot instead of a comedic genius
the original post is actually still here: https://early-onset-of-night-blog.tumblr.com/post/1206666159/say-hello-to-mechanically-separated-chicken-its and apparently the original OP is a satire blog, anyway. So nobody was serious in the whole exchange
Say hello to mechanically separated chicken. It’s what all fast-food chicken is made from—things like chicken nuggets and patties. Also, the
Getting new context for this ancient meme in the year of our lord 2021 is giving me whiplash.
Tumblr deep lore
ooohhhhh both make more sense now lol
The granddaughter of the witches you couldn’t burn.
Except the Pink Sauce lady is 100% serious
sambaschutte on instagram:
Promised the recipe and here it is🍊🍰 “Roach’s 40 Orange Glaze”👨🏾🍳🏴☠️ May it inspire you to spread the deliciousness and curb the scurvy. Can’t wait to see what you create🖤✨ #OurFlagMeansDeath #roachofmd #bakingwithsamba #pirates @hbomax @hbomaxpop
(link to the instagram post)
samba schutte aka roach on ofmd who is also himself a baker posted a recipe to roach's 40 orange glaze cake! (recorded by lucius because roach can't write)
Irish Cream Chocolate Dumplings
locusimperium:
A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband - they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9x13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick. Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.
So I tried this recipe.
And it is GREAT.
It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.
Life hack: add white chocolate chips and sea salt
I made these today for the equinox with sea salt caramel chips and they are simply amazing. Let’s see how long they last with six people in the house!
Noting for later (as we need more butter for this, and probably won’t do a grocery shopping till the weekend).
The OP version of this has become my go-to cookie for basically all things and I have a whole cohort of friends and colleagues who would murder each other to get them. Haven’t tried any add ons yet, since the base recipe is SO GOOD.
hot chocolate anyone? 🍫☕️❄️
(recipes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Mute this. The music is annoying.
Follow @brattylikestoeat for more.
this is what insomnia sounds like
Soundtrack of Executive Dysfunction.
fam I’m over here having a laughing fit, tf is this music😭
catch me foaming at the mouth unresponsive to all stimuli on the outside stairway of arbys at 3 am with this playin in the back
@leojulius13
I was like “ooh that looks delicious” but it was muted. Then I saw the comments comparing the music to mental illness, unmuted the video and can oddly relate?
I’m over here laughing hysterically
“Come on it can’t be that fucking bad” t. clueless
Chocolate and Vanilla Linzer Heart Cookies
Really nice recipes. Every hour.