Endorphins make you happy

they/she (emphasis on they)

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[certified-linguistics-moment]

[bannertanks]

[ghosthierophant]

[ofchaosgoddess]

[officialpenisenvy]

even your sicko friend has a friend that's more of a sicko than them. it's like how your therapist has a therapist

[fruitypieq]

Quick what are you doing RIGHT now (besides scrolling Tumblr)

[audliminal]

Having short hair really is just

I get up. I walk into the bathroom. I glance in the mirror. My hair is posed in a brand new, never-before-seen array that defies the laws of physics.

[thecolorofthegame]

I know this trophy is supposed to represent a triathlon, but it looks like a cyclist award for attacking pedestrians

[beardedmrbean]

[scorchroots]

I've never loved anyone as much as I love Ursula Le Guin

[bestiolin]

maarten inghels

[animate-mush]

@sherbertilluminated there's a line somewhere in Ursula Vernon's Digger that goes something like "it is difficult to be metaphysical around the truly geologically minded"

[todaysbird]

i think this is…actually the most extreme stupid dove nest I’ve seen.

video

[kaiapraxidike]

[tartrazeen]

Imagine you're coming home after a long day of hunting, and the first thing you hear is your seven shitty kids screeching at you for no reason, how pissed off would you be, I'd immediately fly away too

Imagine you're the oldest of seven and a fucking HOA member broke into your HOUSE and SHIT AN EGG and is BITING at your siblings, but your dad shows so you try to tell him the problem but you're very little and you don't speak English and he doesn't speak English either so you can't communicate that a fucking GOBLIN is in your HOUSE and the only reason he doesn't know is cause his ASS was on that bitch's HEAD and he must've assumed it was one of your brothers and sisters but it was actually that FREAK WOMAN who got in, and now your dad is flying away 'cause he has no idea what's going on

Imagine you're a parent and you've calmed down and gone to get McDonald's for your seven kids, and you come home expecting to get cheers because you know the D's are always a winner, but when you fly back in through the door the kids are all still screaming, and it's not even excited screams but you don't know what's wrong so you just look into the camera like you're Jim from the Office

Imagine you're one of the small middle children and probably the one that this HOA WITCH was BITING after she broke into YOUR HOUSE and SHIT an EGG and you tried to be a good host by cuddling with her to congratulate her on her egg but then she started BITING and taking over your ROOM and threw out all your GOOSEBUMPS books and your eldest sibling couldn't call dad so you all just had to wait, and then dad comes home but your STUPID FAMILY won't stop SCREECHING to explain what's going on so your dad leaves but then comes back and he's brought McDonald's which is like yay but there is an INTRUDER, and finally your dad looks around the house and notices BITCH BIRD KAREN IN YOUR BEAN BAG CHAIR, and you're like ok dad can handle this but then you learn he's more scared than you?????

Imagine you're a dad and you just got home with McDonald's and WHO THE FUCK IS THAT IN MY HOUSE but luckily you have seven children and the mean one is willing to fight this bitch and you're just gonna chill in this corner until this problem is resolved even if your other kids are straight-up judging you

Imagine you're Kevin McCallister and you're doing Home Alone except you're not home alone 'cause your dad is home too but he's not helping, he's just holding a bag of McDonald's, so you have to be the head of this house at eight years old 'cause you're home alone emotionally but this FREAK ON AN EGG isn't leaving so you decide to screech at your dad and he's more scared of you than she is

Imagine you're a dad and your child has publicly shamed you in front of your other kids and this ASSHOLE KAREN and you decide you're not gonna take this shit anymore so you tell your kids that you paid for this McDonald's with your hard-earned bird money and they're gonna damn well eat this, so everybody stop looking at that side of the house and just eat your fucking french fries but then that fucking MONSTER starts BITING your only child willing to go into battle so you recognize this is a lost cause and throw the burgers on the counter and you remember you're an ADULT so you grab your car keys and fly the fuck away

Imagine you're all seven children and dad left you with the pigeon again

[solarprominence]

I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

[augustdementhe]

IT'S GLASS.

This is "Arras", by Mark Lewanski, and the medium is G L A S S.

Just incredible.

[azurele]

*packing my suitcase for a 3 day trip* hm, but what if I need my terracotta warriors..

[bugwars]

girl it’s just a 3 day trip, you do not need to bring your terracotta warriors 🙄

[whitepeopletwitter]

[samshine-and-lollipops-deactiva]

Wait, it got better.

[libertineangel]

He does this a lot, to my deep surprise in undergrad:

For reference, the reason nobody likes this book and you can press tofu with it is that it’s about 1600 pages long.

[horizon-penblade]

It’s also, by all accounts, the origin of Cousin Throckmorton

[supreme-leader-stoat]