Ludicrous Capybara

she/they bi dnd and other stuff...

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Should’ve checked whether anyone in my house likes eggs before we got chickens. I have 67 eggs that need eating.

[friendly-neighborhood-wizard]

go out and throw them at cop cars

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

How many cop cars do you think are within walking distance of my house

[reverendyoda]

Once you egg the first, there’s a delivery service for more.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Ah yes, the Grand Theft Auto method

[boopboopboopbadoop]

Give them to someone you hate gradually. Give them enough that they can eat nothing but eggs until they’re gone. Then immediately give them more. Steal their vegetables in the night.

Soon, they develop a disease that baffles all the doctors.

Bam. Biotin deficiency.

[block-swing-perry]

Buy egg cartons to fill and put them in ur local grocery store

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I’m never coming to this website for advice again.

[artronenergy]

They should bring up the whole “the master was prime minister” thing more. You just know “the guy who won in a landslide vote, immediately assassinated the president of the US, and then promptly disappeared forever with the only word being that he went mad” is a historical mystery every companion asks about and every time the Doctor looks exactly like this

[rowanthestrange]

“Beats me why we ever got rid of Harriet Jones in the first place.”

[angel-archivist]

I hope that kid who used to talk about how delicious blood was in elementary school has a good day, I hope the  kid who used to eat weeds because he wanted to turn green from the chloroplast is doing good , I hope that one girl who picked up a  dying bee to give it a proper burial is doing ok, I hope the wolf girl who was my best friend in elementary school and had to be told not to bite people has an absolutely lovely day

[angel-archivist]

HELP

[kineticpenguin]

“They’ll never find the body” is a boring threat. Threaten that they’ll never stop finding the body

[sindri42]

They’ll be recovering pieces of you for at least three months. You will be alive for at least two of them.

[red-faced-wolf-deactivated20251]

That’s terrifying

[c3rvida3]

Did anyone else have an obscenely dangerous childhood activity? Ours was climbing the beams in the abandoned glass factory.

[c3rvida3]

I'm glad dodge rock is a universal childhood pastime.

[c3rvida3]

I love all of these, but this one is my favorite.

[bookwormingparty]

[ottermatopoeia]

"the author is clearly NOT gifted by Hermes with the power of prophecy. two stars."

[chilewithcarnage]

there is no discourse between gen z and millenials. we are siblings. come on lil bro, ill take you to amc. yeah we can go there early and play the arcade games before the movie starts.

[midlifecrisis2021]

Can we get popcorn and a drink to share :)

[chilewithcarnage]

we sure can buddy, we sure can

[microwaveabl]

Why do the two reblogs read like a soldier dying in their friends arms and talking about when they’ll get back home to give them a bit of comfort before they die

[snowy-icarus]

because have you seen the economy and society lately

[putridcowboy]

Why did we ever stop wearing 18th century clothing

[marzipanandminutiae]

to wear 19th century clothing you Georgian rake

[autisticraptor]

The vampires are fighting

[masteraqua]

i flipping hate ao3's layout there's too many goddamn words

[masteraqua]

you know what i deserve this

[bigfootjpg]

Calvins mom in calvin and hobbes was a lesbian look at that shirt she looks like therese in that one scene in carol

[bigfootjpg]

[bigfootjpg]

#calvins mom is a lesbian his dad is thr worst shes closeted but

Wrong she is also a lesbian she’s alison bechdel

[prince-atom]

I knew it

[appendingfic]

i was not ready for new calvin and hobbes headcanons

[laurasbailey]

CRITICAL ROLE vs. THE LEGEND OF VOX MACHINA

THE FEAST OF REALMS (1x03)

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*shows up to a high-society cocktail party with a purse filled w/ 300 garden snails* these are my escorts for the evening

[theclockworkjudas]

Whe you release them do you yell “Escort, go!”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

of all the clowns on this webbed site your shoes are the most elongated and your nose is, by far, the most throbbingly tumescent

[weaver-z]

CLAIRES IS REAL????

Wait. Hold on. Do you mean to tell me that you thought Claire's, the real store, was some mass gaslighting effort by residents of the USA

[weaver-z]

@danwylds PLEASE tell me what other businesses you think are made up I'm so curious

[thelovers-thedreamers-and-me]

[degari]

Hey, if you were in the UK in 1994 around Christmas, and you grabbed a ride towards Scotland in a black van, and in the back of the van there was a body in a coffin, a lady with a fiddle, and another lady with a newborn, and everyone was in weirdly high spirits, and you eventually had to bail just kinda in the middle of nowhere and you hopped off and disappeared into the night, can you let me know if you’re alright? 

I was the newborn and I’m really worried about you.

(Can folks share this post? I legitimately want to find this stranger, I have so many questions, and I think they do as well.)

[degari]

Now with some corrections according to the lady with the fiddle!

[degari]

THERE IS AN EXPLANATION. I’m so sorry for what ended up being a teaser of a post, but there is a story and it’s not INCREDIBLY WEIRD I promise.

Basically, around the time I was born one of my uncles was dying. I’ve been told that he saw how poetic it was, and that holding newborn me helped a little bit. But soon after I was born he passed away.

Now I don’t know all the details, and some of what I know might be wrong, it was 23 years ago now and I was a newborn but parts of the family (including my mum and a couple of my extended cousins) were transporting his body to Edrom, Scotland. My cousin had this van that was a huge part of her entire persona, so we loaded it up, everyone was settled, and away we went!

Everyone has their own way of dealing with loss, and if I’m entirely honest at least most of my family are the most interesting people I know. So it was kind of a really jaunty trip, everyone was in high spirits, and it was a long drive. We had to stop to refuel, it was quite late at night, and there was some bloke who wanted to hitch a ride (or we offered him a ride). Either way, we had a hitchhiker.

Now, if my cousin remembered it right, she did disclose that we had a body in the back. He was in his coffin but still. Mysterious Stranger assured that it was no problem, he’s seen a body before, it’s late, he just wants to get where he’s going.

So, the Weirdly Cheerful Road Trip continued with this new person! And I suppose it was just… too weird. Because at some point he just kinda demanded that we stop the van, he hopped out, and just… left.

And to be fair, if you managed to grab a lift with a small group of strangers with a body in a coffin, and everyone is just singing and having a grand ol’ time, it would be a bit unnerving to say the least. I certainly don’t blame him for needing to bail. But I hope he’s ok and he got where he needed to go. And now I’ve cast this frightfully specific weird post into the internet in the hope of maybe finding that person so I can be reassured that they’re ok, and they can be assured that we’re not dangerous folks. We’re just eccentric.

[degari]

some of my favourite comments and tags on this

- I, I really assumed at first that this was a moody absurdist joke post.

-  Probably thought he’d be off with the faeries and not be able to get back to the waking world…

-  Are you faeries?

- modern camelot au

-  The pre-explanation version legitimately sounds like a modern version of King Arthur’s body being taken to Avalon.

- i swear to god i thought this was some weird tumblr gothic thing

- stranger will return to you in your darkest hour of need

- yall good in the uk

- i thought this was about home alone for a second and i was really confused

- various story inspiration tags

- tbh….. goals

- this is the best missed connections ad of all time

- wow i totally thought this post was a joke but

- little miss sunshine

- dark british comedy

And this

[ursie]

Percy is a misandrist king because he worships every woman in his life and hates men while Nico is a feminist king because he stans women and loves men equality ig and Jason is just there listening to them talk gender politics nodding. He was raised by wolves he doesn’t even know what gender is. Leo and Frank are taking notes.

[i-hate-chick-fil-a]

[aangmarble]

This guy doesn’t pull any punches

[complicatedmerary]

[lachenn]

Reblogging this version instead cause ppl think this is about trashing LOK.

And it ain’t. LOK was good despite all the bullshit nickelodeon kept pulling on the creators.

[tranarchist]

I love this because like 99% of this kind of paleoart is patriarchal Man the Hunter type fantasies but these guys are just like “fuck it we’re outta here”

[musiclovingmoth]

we have not changed.