I just love Uranus so much @zacmortar - Tumblr Blog

commongayboy-deactivated2018082

papajohnpizzas-deactivated20181

im convinced that the stranger things kid and the lead singer of chvrches are the same person

adeles

Adele’s acceptance speech after winning Album of the Year at the 59th Grammy Awards

clown-names

Anal Prolapse The Clown

rhv

seduce me with ur history knowledge

simaraknows

vikings made their woman handle the finances because they thought math is witchcraft

danray002-deactivated20241205

During a military campaign, Vlad the Impaler, the basis for Dracula, once pulled his troops out of a major engagement in a valley at dusk so that the sun was in their enemies’ eyes. Once they were over the hill, they set loose a bunch of rabid bats who flew away from the sun (towards the enemy) and attacked them, leading to significant infection in their ranks, and Vlad’s eventual victory. Because of how the bats appeared from where Vlad’s soldiers appeared to be at dusk, myth stated that the soldiers turned into bats at night, which is where the “Dracula can change into a bat” thing came from.

lapisbitch

raphael, the renaissance painter, literally fucked himself to death

sirl33te

during the Ottoman Empire, the Sultan Ibrahim I had 280 of his concubines drowned in the ocean after ONE of them slept with another man.

verysadskeleton

The earths carbon levels fell by 700 million tons because Genghis Khan killed so many people

stitch-n-time

King James (the one known for revising the Bible) liked to watch women give birth. That’s where the “tradition” of women laying on their backs to give birth comes from.

Previous to that it was common for women to have chairs with holes in them and straw underneath, so they could sit on this special chair and let gravity help with the birthing process.

kanthia

Spicy foods were thought to increase libido and cause children to masturbate. To prevent kids from touching themselves at night, a man named Kellogg invented the blandest combination of cereals, marketed it at kids, and called it Corn Flakes

spockyykins

At the Battle of Gettysburg during the American Civil War, a small group of Union soldiers had run out of ammo against a large group of the Confederate Army. In a panic, the Union soldiers sprinted at them, screaming, with only bayonets drawn. The entire Confederate Army that was present turned and ran away in fear, not knowing that they had literally no ammunition.

obaewankenope

When the Roman Emperor Caligula went to invade Britain he stood on the coast of Gaul with his army and suddenly declared war on Neptune, God of the Sea. He had his men collect sea shells from the shore as “spoils from the Ocean”.

Oh and he appointed his horse to the senate.

nat-20s

During the Austro-Prussian war of 1868, Liechtenstein sent over an army of 80 people, but ended up coming back with 81 people because they befriended a guy on the other side.

aphony-cree

People refused to send art and sculptures to be displayed at the Chicago World’s Fair because of Chicago’s history with fire. They had to fireproof the Fine Arts building to get people to agree to loan them their art. A year after the fair closed most of the grounds were destroyed by fire but the Fine Arts building survived. It’s now the Museum of Science and Industry.

naphula

The carbon emissions thing from Ghenghis Khan is not the whole story. He also planted trees wherever he conquered land because he liked trees and thought they were important. He conquered enough to make an impact on the global climate.

thecomplaintionist

I don’t know about the history of every single country in the world, but I do believe Brazil had the one and only alternating dictatorship of modern days.

While other latin american countries are famous for their long periods under a single dictator, like Pinochet in Chile, Brazil, during a span of 21 years, had 5 different dictators from 2 different military factions carefully alternating power to hide the blatant dictatorship.

These two factions, by the way, were the “Sorbonne” (the studied ones, highly educated fascists that had the privilege of studying abroad) and the “Hardline” (the “fascister-than-other-fascists fascists”).

honeymage

You kids with your City Leaf and your New Folk. Back in my day, we couldn’t choose where to put our house. We had to pick between four different roof colors. And there was no being Mayor or barista jobs. Blathers couldn’t identify fossils, we had to send it off to some mysterious mueseum and wait for three days to get it back.

And we were grateful for it.

2tonsea

damn grandpa

honeymage

And another thing! There was no “why fy.” If you wanted to visit your friend’s town, you had to borrow their memory card. And you could only get to the island if you were one of them lucky sonsabitches who had a gameboy advance. To everyone else, the island just seems like a myth, a fairytale.

2tonsea

grandpa is screaming at his oatmeal again should we call the cops