The (Wo)man in the Chair

Hi, I'm Soumya - 22, Lesbian, Indian. This blog is loads of fandoms, and punny stuff built on a solid foundation of feminism and racial equality!

[longsightmyth]

I bring a real 'actually people who are pregnant do deserve some special consideration because they are effectively at least temporarily disabled if not permanently after some complications' vibe to the party that a lot of people don't seem to like

[paperpoetryandpetrichor]

hudson williams has been with his partner for literal years while you have known of his existence for less than one.

please go outside and touch some grass, get some sun and maybe take the tin hat off so your brain doesn't boil i'm sure you need every braincell you have left.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

a short au idea where shane goes to visit his girlfriend by surprise because he was on a work trip and when he knocks on her door it takes a while to swing open, and when it finally does he’s face to face with a half-naked man he’s never seen before and his girlfriend appears behind him and turns all apologetic and starts crying when she notices shane at the door and starts saying it’s not what it looks like and begging for forgiveness, but shane just stands there barely listening, only having eyes for the guy who’s leaning against the doorframe looking completely unbothered, smirking like he’s actually enjoying the whole scene, and it makes shane so mad, so he pulls his hand away from his ex’s grip, breaks up with her, and leaves. he goes straight to his car but doesn’t turn the engine on, just leans his forehead against the steering wheel and stays there for like fifteen minutes, until he hears someone knock on his window and looks up and it’s the guy, so he rolls the window down and snaps “what do you want?”and the guy goes “i didn’t know she had a boyfriend” and shane’s like “so what?” and the guy, smirking just like before, goes “if i knew she had a boyfriend who looked like you, i would’ve been chasing you instead of her” and shane’s thinking this situation is absurd (and secretly pleased) and just asks “what the fuck is your problem?” and the guy goes “my problem is that i clearly chose the wrong one, now you can help me correct it, right?” and he winks at shane, who just flips him off, rolls up the window, and drives away. later shane is at a bar telling what happened to his friends when someone slides into the booth next to him and it’s the guy and his friend rose goes “shane, this is ilya, he’s the guy i met at the painting class and was telling you that you two would be great friends” and shane is sitting there horrified and speechless while ilya gives him that same satisfied smirk and goes “oh shane, we’re definitely going to be GREAT friends” and now shane is truly fucked

[tinylilhollander]

David and Yuna are clearing out their attic, and they come over with a box of Shane's old childhood stuff to see if there's anything Shane (but realistically, Ilya) wants to keep.

As Shane and Ilya are going through the box, Ilya pulls out a little Centaurs branded notebook, with "Shane's Fun Facts!" written on the front in sharpie. Ilya is understandably delighted.

"What is this?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear, quickly yanking it out of the reach of Shane who immediately tries to swipe it out of his hands.

"It's nothing," says Shane, but the way his cheeks have gone pink behind his freckles tells another story.

"Uh-uh. It cannot be nothing if you don't want me to see it this badly."

Turning his back to Shane so he can't easily grab at it, Ilya opens to a random page and reads in Shane's 8-year-old scrawl:

Lightning bolts are five times hotter than the sun. That is very hot!

Ilya is grinning even wider now.

"Wow, Solnyshko, that is a fun fact."

"Fuck off," Shane says. He doesn't even attempt to grab it again, just kind of collapses and bonks his head into Ilya's shoulder. "I used to have trouble making friends as a kid. Dad suggested I start collecting facts to use as icebreakers. Y'know, to get conversations going."

"Did they work?" asks Ilya, tilting his head so that it rests on top of Shane's as his husband gives an almighty sigh.

"I think they made it worse, actually."

Ilya turns to another page and reads it out loud.

"Oology is the study of eggs. It's so cool because it looks like there are three eggs in the word!"

"Oh god," says Shane, burying his face further into Ilya's neck.

"I think you knew all the worst kids in Canada," says Ilya, putting down the book and wrapping his arms around Shane. "Those facts would have worked on me."

"Really?" asks Shane, glancing up at Ilya's face to see if he's teasing him, but Ilya is being perfectly serious.

"Of course. You came up to me and started telling me fun facts straight away, remember? 'I don't think you can smoke here.' 'Wow, Rozanov, you are the best player ever to watch.'"

"Fuck off, I didn't say that," laughs Shane.

"Well, it was something like that," says Ilya, pressing a kiss to the top of Shane's head. "So at least the fun facts worked when it mattered, yes? Imagine where we'd be if you hadn't come over to break the ice."

And Shane tugs Ilya even closer.

"I don't think I want to."

[snowsmoked]

Consider: Shane is the cens Car Guy™️. He really only does it for the rookies because he is busy. Sometimes he can be bargained with though.

But when the rookies, freshly of age, most in another country, and with MHL money, ask him to take them car shopping, he’s there. He’s not letting some dealership rip off his rookies or put them in a dangerous shiny sports car.

Ilya, crucially, doesn’t know this happens. He claims the rookies all got ‘Shane’s borning genes’ because of their practical cars with excellent safety ratings.

He ignores Shane who disowns their children (tells Ilya they are not biologically related to the rookies).

When someone finally slips up and Ilya finds out he is simultaneously 1. appalled that the rookies would not come to Ilya “car enthusiast” Rozanov 2. endeared that Shane takes such good care of their team 3. hard, imagining Shane negotiating with the car salesman, pushing up his glasses while reading over the paper work, test driving the cars…

It’s mostly that third one.

[sapphireh3arts]

did you know literally *everyone* is raised racist. like by society at minumum, if not specifically by their parents. if you aren't constantly questioning the prejucides around and inside of YOU, yes even you, then you aren't taking enough action in your daily life to be a traitor to the state of white supremacy.

[themoonandmyman]

Shane Hollander and his sexy minimum wage job roleplay kink.

He’s just a bellboy. And a mailman. And a masseuse. And a valet who scratched Ilya’s car. And a maid who’s been stealing. maybe even an Uber Driver who watches Ilya jerk off in the back seat.

[hometoursandotherstuff]

https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cwydx34kzlvo

[runcibility]

"Vanderhorst had been under the influence of MDMA and three litres of vodka she had consumed on the night of the offence last September, her lawyer Michael Hill told the court."

three. liters.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

i support women's wrongs

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

[russianblush]

the 9 inches: before & after

[spicy-apple-pie]

Part 28

You thought it would be that easy?

Prev / Index

Commission Info / Kofi (members get comics a week early)

[theres-pansies]

Because poor Dr. Grace was never meant to be up there with a dead crew and no memories :,)

Based on this post by @the-immortal-restless

[the-immortal-restless]

I think people forget that Stratt amnesticized Grace with the goal that Ilyukina and Yao would be there to help him, y’know NOT DIE, and then THEY DIED before he woke up.

So like she gets the recordings and realizes Yao and Ilyukina are dead before he wakes up so he’s got no pilot, no engineer, and no memories.

And then you also have to remember that the EXISTENCE of these recordings and the fact they were accompanied by the Taumoeba means that an amnesticized Grace somehow managed to save earth without a pilot or engineer and shoddy memory that only vaguely gives him enough to work with as he works.

Like what the fuck man.

[hutsonwoolyums]

What if Shane and Ilya aren’t soulmates? What if in every universe they have to claw and scrape and fight to be together? What if they end up with someone else more often than they end up together? What if the struggle makes being together all the more significant? What then?

[cloudabserk]

snugglebugs

[themoonandmyman]

Thinking about Shane learning the Russian words for ‘my little bear’ because Ilya’s so large and imposing but so soft and his hair is so fluffy- but he also delights in knowing he can use it on Ilya to needle at him and sweetly annoy him. He can imagine Ilya’s faux-irritated brow crease, followed by wrestling Shane into the couch to prove he’s no little bear- he’s a grizzly bear who’s going to eat Shane for breakfast…

So he works to get the pronunciation down, and finally springs it on him one day when Ilya’s just come in from the lake, hair air dried and floofy and he’s all open limbs and soft edges.

The moment the words fill the space, Ilya goes silent, and tears start to fall. Shane panics, and closes the gap between them to hold his husband close with a crushing grip.

‘What’s wrong? Did I not do it right? Did I say something bad?’

Ilya stays quiet for a moment, trying to control the inevitable break in his voice when he speaks. When it comes out, it’s wet, and wounded, like blood seeping out the mouth of an injured animal.

‘No, no. It’s ok- my mama, she-’ another small sob. ‘She used to call me that. I have not heard it in a very long time.’

Shane knows he doesn’t need to reply, or to fill the following lull.

He just needs to stand there. Solid and unyielding.

Arms a vice around Ilya’s torso, large hands stroking down the damp skin of his back. Soothing kisses pressed like a comforting brand to his temple, his cheeks, his eyes. Urging the tears to flow because they need to. Loving his man exactly how he needs to be loved.

[ticklefighthockey]

ok so ilya freaking out over a tender lil forehead kiss when he himself delivers dozens of tender lil kisses all over shane's body every time he has that man underneath him is hypocritical but also doesn't it really, really track... he's allowed to show incredible gentleness and care to others... but the second someone indicates that they might see him as also deserving of gentleness and care he flips out. NOT allowed. on account of him being rotten inside & fundamentally undeserving of care & so on and so forth. also what if they act like they care about you and then they abruptly and without warning take it away. and you let yourself think it might be real??? universe loves nothing more than to getcha like that and ilya rozanov will NOT be punk'd

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

i know this scene gets talked about so much but watching the bellboy bit again last night its just so sweet how one of the first things that shane does after implementing cottage honesty is his little bellboy joke like he’s going “play with me! i want to play with you! look how silly I’m being! do bits with me please!” love really is stored in the silly bits you do with your partner