I Grew Up in a Different Canada
I grew up in an entirely different Canada than you did.
I grew up in a Canada where being a rez child was an embarrassing thing because I’m not allowed to act or speak like other native kids and still be liked by my mostly white school.
I grew up in a Canada where if my school did have a large native population we fought until we were crying to learn and get good grades for our work, but never received them because we’re too stupid to learn, too stupid to deserve books on the same level as the white students, too stupid to ever be anything but the charity case in the class.
I grew up in a Canada where my accent was made fun of so drastically that I no longer have it.
I grew up in a Canada where I have to marry a nice white boy because I’ll never be recognized or amount to anything if I don’t.
I grew up in a Canada where my mother and I had to share a bed while my father slept in the living room because my Native parents couldn’t secure large responsibility houses unless they paid up front because Native people don’t pay for things. (I got my own room when my mother moved us to the Rez).
I grew up in a Canada where a man tried to massacre my entire family on my sixth birthday party via rifle and there wasn’t any news coverage because we weren’t worth it. (We survived even though all police aid was 6 hours away from our tiny reserve).
I grew up in a Canada where I couldn’t be native because I didn’t have a native nose according to my white friends *Squishes nose flat onto face*
I grew up in a Canada where I hated my parents for not being white, because it meant I wasn’t white.
I grew up in a Canada where I get stopped by police who suspect I’m drunk for no other reason than the fact that I’m Native (6 times total, once when I was 9 or 10).
I grew up in a Canada where my mom continuously tells me I’m lucky I’m not as dark as her because her teachers used to make her wash her hands until they were bloody for being *dirty* and not pale enough.
I grew up in a Canada where my parents were taken away from their families and put into institutions designed to educate, beat, and breed the Native out of the children.
I grew up in a Canada where I get followed around grocery stores on a regular basis no matter how nicely I dress.
I grew up in a Canada where even in University people are hoping I won’t show up to Aboriginal Awareness classes so they can speak their racist minds.
I grew up in a Canada where the FN/Inuit suicide rate is 2-11 times higher than the national average. (Greater for Inuit populations).
I grew up in a Canada where Native women go missing at an alarming rate and the Conservative Government did nothing to help us.
I grew up in a Canada where I’m agnostic, brought up atheist because my father refused to succumb to the religious assimilation, but we’re totally fucking weird because of it.
I grew up in a Canada where Native parents had zero hope of saving up for post education, but we’re on easy street even though there would probably be next to no Native students in school if we weren’t granted that opportunity.
I grew up in a Canada where I totally don’t have to pay taxes and I wish someone had told me. Do you think the government will give me back all the taxes I’ve paid since I turned 18? *sarcasm* (May be substituted in for fishing/hunting without a license).
I grew up in a Canada where I’m responsible for white guilt.
I grew up in a Canada where our students don’t know that the Canadian Government committed cultural genocide against my people.
I grew up in a Canada where my mother lost two siblings because the hospital wouldn’t admit Native people, and they died as a result of it.
I grew up in a Canada where a white man I went to school with attacked my very dark skinned brother outside of a bar with a 2x4 that had a nail hammered into it. (He admitted it was a hate crime).
I grew up in a Canada where the cultures of hundreds of First Nations bands lost almost all of their culture and are fighting to keep it alive.
I grew up in a Canada where I personally saw multiple angry white people attempt to run over peaceful Native protesters for our right for clean drinking water.
I grew up in a Canada where the Settlers named some of our mountains after Native stories because they thought the words sounded cool when those stories were about rapists or men who murdered women.
I grew up in a Canada where Welfare/Social Assistance is referred to as “Indian payday” when we aren’t Indian, when Indian should never be a derogatory term, and where the less fortunate should be ashamed of themselves for being less fortunate.
I grew up in a Canada where I’m supposed to get over it.
I live in a Canada where companies are built over Native burial grounds and their workers take the skulls of my ancestors as fancy ash trays
I grew up in a Canada where our regalia are still considered fit for costuming.
I’m living in a Canada that’s trying to make things right on some levels, but I’m not going to just get over it because you can’t buy back all the hurt I’ve experienced.
There are plenty more things I could add, but I feel pretty emotionally exhausted right now.
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