✌️

Ayy // Jada // she/her //17// lesbian //

[felixjasper-deactivated20200801]

[felixjasper-deactivated20200801]

[wait-thats-illegal]

I DID NOT EXPECT THAT.

[dumbbadger]

Soot tags gather after fires in areas with low circulation. They are not, as commonly believed, ash covered spider webs.

[armedandgayngerous]

oh, well then what the FUCK are they???

[bigwordsandsharpedges]

They’re made of sticky particles from a polymer or petroleum based fire, like burning carpet, drapes, upholstery, and clothes. Due to a static charge, they chain together and naturally gather near ceiling corners because the rising hot air pushes them into the cool spots by convection. 

Because they’re formed by static electricity, they can only be removed with professional chemicals and equipment. Attempting to remove them improperly will only break the chain before all the soot can be captured, leaving the remaining soot to spontaneously reform the webs later. Even worse, trying to wipe or wash them away can firmly adhere the soot to your wall or ceiling, which will permanently stain it. 

[unclevertitle]

A natural phenomena that only coincidentally resembles the damned webs of transdimensional ghost spiders.

[seraph5]

Wowza

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[girls-n-vibes]

i cant wait to love the fuck out of somebody and not look stupid

[porterr-robinson]

[the-jackals]

I’ve been laughing T this for five mKinutes I’m. crYing

[ruby-white-rabbit]

*shpluurtch*

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

Why am I so MEAN

[kingofthegringos-deactivated202]

Gone too long without watching Avatar the Last Airbender

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

Woah.

[userseraph-deactivated20190925]

[suspiciouslyheterosexualbehavior]

sims entering a room where there is music playing

[millenniumfucko]

[eatingdirtforfunandprofit]

pure of heart!!!!!!!!!! dumb of ass……………

[jakemorph]

I don’t think enough retellings of the Cain and Abel story make note of the fact that nobody had ever been killed or even died before when it happened. Cain had no idea beating his brother to death could possibly be a bad thing

[jakemorph]

Cain really did fuck around and find out

[eurynomephoenix18]

Visit Original Link

[diligar]

ITS TIME ITS TIME ITS T I M E

[plant-royalty]

NO IT’S TOO EARLY STOP RIGHT THERE

[mttgwen]

IT’S TIME

[nbtoaster]

IT IS TIME

[autumn-bookworm]

IT’S TIME

[autumn-n-acorns]

IT’S TIME

[pumpkinpatchbitch]

IT’S TIME

[halloweentreat]

IT’S TIME

[draconigenissima]

IT’S NOT TIME IT’S JULY

[mx-herma-main-deactivated202103]

IT’S TIME

[dreveak]

IT’S TIME

[tallestsilver]

IT’S TIME

[xxtruleyinsanexx-deactivated201]

NOT YET

[screamingatsquirrels]

IT’S TIME

[awkwardespionage-deactivated201]

IT’S TOO DAMN EARLY. STOP.

[salamandergoo]

ITS TIME. ITS BEEN TIME FOR MONTHS.

[poopypapyrus-deactivated2018051]

IT’S TIME GUYS

[dragongirltitties]

ITS TIME

[rainofthedeath]

IT’S TIME Y’ALL

[ask-the-monochrome-boys]

IT IS TIME

[indic0lite]

ITS TI M E

[virgils-jacket]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN FUCKERS

[alice-the-necromancer-moved-blog]

ITS TIME

[zee87ine]

ITS TIME YOU FUCKERS

[inolongerexist-deactivated20201]

IT’S TIME ASSHOLES

[asksmollbaldi-deactivated201812]

ITS TIME

[baldisbasics-protagonist-deacti]

Its time my friends

[ask-baldimore-deactivated201808]

IT’S FUCKING TIME

[cydonianmystery-deactivated-dea]

IT’S TIME

TO GET SPOOPY

@thefingerfuckingfemalefury

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THE TIME IS HERE :D

[gosshiku-hime-wa-yami-san]

I T ‘ S T I M E

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

THIS IS HALLOWEEN

EVERYBODY MAKE A SCENE

[keys117-blog]

IT. IS. JULY!!!!

[sortablue]

I like how the “it’s time” gets gradually more aggressive

[foolblue]

H A L L O W E E N

[therealpancakeo]

it’s time.

[gleep-gloorp]

Its August

[astrophelos]

It’s always time

[aquilacalvitium]

IT’S NEVER NOT TIME

[lycanthrop-ee]

AAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS TIME

[100000bees]

“i miss 2012! MCU fics where everyone was happy chilling in the tower” guys ur all blind. 2019 version is ‘the avengers all have twitter/social media and its a mess but they love each other”

[myrastuff]

Spider-Verse fanfiction idea I’ll never get around to writing:

Teacher: Congratulations, Miles. Your paper on multi-dimensional physics has attracted a TON of interest from our Science Mentorship partners. We’ve found you a really wonderful Science Mentor who’s going to be helping you prepare your Youth Science Innovators presentation this week.

Miles: Oh, wow, my parents are gonna be so proud.

Teacher: So, let me introduce you to Dr. Olivia Octavius. Thank you, doctor, for being part of this mentorship program.

Liv: It’s my pleasure, I’m just happy I can help inspire the science community of tomorrow.

Miles: … D:

Important additions:

- Liv is 100% legitimately invested in being a good Science Mentor. After all, today’s young scientists are tomorrow’s reality-warping coworkers.

- Miles’s paper was an edited version of his research on small, stable inter-dimensional portals, so he can hang out with Gwen/get multiverse help against major threats.

- Sometimes, Miles forgets to be scared or angry at Doc Ock and starts actually learning from her, except she inevitably proposes something super unethical and then unconvincingly adds “…theoretically, of course” and Miles starts planning how to counter whatever doom-bot she’s just come up with as Spider-Man.

- May Parker has been helping Miles with spider-gadgets and general science stuff after school. At some point, she and Liv have an angry shouting match over who gets science-custody of their science-nephew.

- Miles has to figure out how to turn down a very plush internship offer from Octavius at the end of the week. His parents insist he take it, he fails to come up with a good reason not to that doesn’t involve Spider-Man knowledge. His parents have Liv over for dinner, she speaks highly of their son and his bright future. The family loves her.

- When Liv eventually figures out his secret identity, she goes full punch-clock villain and keeps mentoring Miles while fighting Spider-Man’s attempts to stop her Bad Idea Science.

[kayas-wife]

This is the best and also so good I love

[fukindork]

Ock: MILES YOU HAVE SCHOOL TOMORROW WHY ARE YOU HERE

Miles: BECAUSE YOU’RE TRYING TO KILL PEOPLE OLIVIA

[stardustparker]

hi can we unironically bring back 2012 avengers fandom, im talking serious “everyone has their own floor on stark tower designed by tony and they all have communal movie nights” shit 

[worstloki]

for some reason shield has decided to keep loki in avengers tower, natasha is always smirking, and Thor keeps eating pop tarts while hawkeye hides in his ventilation nest

[itsallavengers]

Captain America is anti-war and vocal about it and he’s The Bane of the US military’s existence but they can’t fuckin DO anything bc…. he’s the poster boy of America I mean what are they gonna say?? They MADE this irritating asshole

[itsallavengers]

The Generals at Camp Leigh invite him back one time to try and inspire some of the young recruits and Steve turns up in full Captain America regalia, taps the mic twice and says “war is a business scheme and the enemy is Within. Go home” then leaves immediately.

[valkyriesspider-deactivated2024]

I ALMOST SPAT MY DRINK OUT