100 Days of Yoc

100 Happy Days Challenge 100happydays.com The call and response of production and joy.

[100daysofyoc]

Sweep the kitchen floor I laughed out loud when I saw this, having assumed that whatever I got would be room based. But I went and put away dishes, scrubbed down the sink area and draining rack and then swept the floor. Sweeping the floor is one of those things that I have in my head that I hate (and therefore avoid - bad housemate move) but actually don't mind at all when I do it. Then I get to feel smugly self-congratulatory about completing! Went to the library and stayed until completion of desired article and approximate time. Hung out with housemates (did not hermit). Knitted lots. Sorted out a podcast app to facilitate my beloved college walks. Following the quick kitchen scrub I was even inspired to clean the toilet and sink in my en suite - another five minute job that will please me for being done. Ooh! And dusting the mirror. Also a bit of emotional outreach. No yoga. Did add it to the little things lucky dip pot though. So it's a-comin'!

[100daysofyoc]

Go give a euro to someone on the street Right there and then I didn't. But it stayed on my mind and I gave 2 euro to the soup kitchen today. I was gonna buy fizzy water but figured I'd drink tap and donate instead. A small contribution and a 'sacrifice' I won't overly miss. I checked my results. I reached out to make plans. I knitted. I stretched. I wrote up a recipe. I used the sitting room. I listened to more podcasts (Chance the Bull!) I didn't do yoga. But I watched some - ha! And I didn't library, but that's because I went to three lectures. Still a bit too mich phone. Damnit!

[100daysofyoc]

Ring Someone My brother. With a mini fake reason for a nice little chat. Forges a stronger relationship, reaches out, enhances our days. Otherwise: Back to the grind! Library ✅ lentil dish done with measurements to write up, organised meetups with three friends, minimised phone time. . . a certain amount. Boo: Skipped class (not one I take), didn't straighten hair, forgot tax form.

[100daysofyoc]

Worka worka worka work Work at work-work. Big inspection. Think it went really well. I didn't fuck up. The day ended with a great, integrated game of Articulate that was loaded with laughter. Lots of people enquiring after how I'm doing. Feeling loved and cared for. Creativity punching back. Motivation high. Losing hours to recipe development, the blog etc. On days like this when I'm capable of feeling anything, I feel that this might be bubbling in the right direction. So now I must direct myself. Write, develop, put myself out there, find cooking competitions to enter, try to get published. Find a market, focus on it. Make my own reality.

[100daysofyoc]

A moment out of the darkness I wallowed. A nasty cold has caught me asunder and I retreated to old habits. But a moment of warmth and spring light as I shuffled back to my room enlivened me. I made plans to see friends and have fun next weekend. I put myself out there with regards to the dreaded birthday. I bought cheap train tickets. This cold will pass, I won't be too hard on myself until then. I supported mum, Aideen supported me. Connections and love, putting myself out there. Tinder connections with cute guys. Light, light, always looking towards the light.

[100daysofyoc]

Fictional heroes and real ones. Cover class delayed because Batman was occupying the room. Chats with brother about everything. Reaching out to Ross amd Philip.

[100daysofyoc]

Back to Normality. A Treat. Back to work, cooking. A pretzel.

[100daysofyoc]

Missoula, Montana I tried to restart. Did some work. Made dahl. Ate vegetables. Planned and organised in an attempt to keep next week on an even keel. Then as I was leaving I started to cry. I pulled in half way back because my lights were out. My own idiocy. I missed a turn on the motorway. There was heavy fog. I prpbably wasn't fit to be driving. I shouldn't have been. Mam could tell. She was very agitated to know I was back safe. I made it. I was trying to slink in. And then this postcard. A little thing, a big smile, a grounding out of my own angst. So I stopped to chat to my housemate. It suddenly didn't seem so difficult. These little things make such, such a difference. I must try to emmulate the lead. Tomorrow, we start again.

[100daysofyoc]

Catch-ups I get into terrible cycles where I really need people to buoy me but can't bring myself to contact them. I tried a few avenues. Only one took. I did my best not to dwell on the others. Coffee. For two hours. Chats amd ponderings. A balance in conversation. Voicing exasperation and fears, summarising something of the previous days. Here's to reaching out more and more. And Modern Family. Seventeen. Episodes. Eeeeep. But hot damn it's good. I laughed amd smiled. It felt good.

[100daysofyoc]

Daffodil Day I left the house. There was even a lick of mascara. I stood on the street and hounded people to buy pens for cancer. Stupid. But no better way to begin to re-enter the world. Helping others, but definitely doing myself more good.

[100daysofyoc]

Rest. Home. Understanding. My beloved parents gave me time and space. They talked at times, but just enough. I wallowed. I watched tv, ate and was generally mithered. Exhaustion persisted. There is no greater comfort than home.

[100daysofyoc]

Just happy this day is done. That it didn't rain. That I came home. I love my family and my friends. To be loved. To be alive.

[100daysofyoc]

Together with and without Shay Mouse We drove towards the wake, nauseous with grief and forboding. It was horrific. Worse than we imagined it would be. S. shook so violently in my arms. C. Looked so calm and upstanding: the opposite of himself in life. So, so many people who would normally determine my day, I didn't recognise. It got colder and colder. The huddled masses was wracked with sobs and rattled laughter of tales from his life. But hours later, warmer amd away from the family, the body, the reality. . . we regained some sense of ourselves. We will heal.

[100daysofyoc]

Rallying around The death began to hit home for for everyone. But people stuck together. There were so many phone calls and texts. Talk to someone. Talk to anyone. Suicide is not a solution.

[100daysofyoc]

How quickly things change I went to a beautiful little town. The sun was pelting. It was the first time this year that I thought a swim might finally be approaching. I walked along the beach, looking at couples old and young. I stopped for coffee and a cupcake. I walked along the cliffs looking out at the rock formations. Then J. rang me from his UK number. I thought excitedly that he'd taken a surprise trip home. I leaned on a fence to answer, looking out at the sparkling sea. "Have you heard anything about C.?" I turned to see a large seagull, dead, its head buried into the grass. We can never know what is happening in someone else's mind. We're not mind readers. Everyone who saw him last night said he seemed in great form. Talk to someone. Anyone. A friend. A stranger. Samaritans (1850 609090). Don't let temporary emotions determine a permanent decision. I thought about being kicked out of C.'s bed by him during a party he threw at Christmas so his little brother could go to bed. The kid is probably about 16. He idolises, idolised, his older brother. Don't hide yourself away. Talk to someone. You are loved.

[100daysofyoc]

Helping you, helping me (uh-huuhhh) I started making a gajillion felt daffodils for daffodil day. Engaging and heartening. I rang mammo to see how she was. And I went for a pint by myself. On purpose. Just one. I read a book. It was weird, but good. Next one will be better.

[100daysofyoc]

Reconsidering Options

I went to a meeting at work. A very interesting, 3 hour long meeting. On my day off. It makes me see so much merit in staying here. But then I go completely crazy with boredom at times. But goodness I love my job now and can’t see how I could get such support amd great career progression elsewhere.

Jennbo sent me another amazing and hilarious homemade postcard. Uh-mazing. Football was rained out, disappointing. I countered with a delicious salad (and bread and popcorn), embroidery, House of Cards and setting forth on a binge of looking for bank holiday weekend options. Which was then set aside somewhat. Which left the day on a low. But today I will try to find that silver lining. It was good to relax and not be completely ravaged by boredom the entire time, probably because work had been so interesting.

Fark.