elena

I said to the devil, "Devil do you like drums? Do you like cigarettes, dominoes, rum?"

[4995-sbedfordst]

Once again rewatching new girl and being attracted to the one and only Nick Miller

[comingatthecottage]

re: ilya's terrible therapist

okay i think i'm obligated to say that although i am a mental health professional very obviously nothing i post on my heated rivalry tumblr is professional advice nobody sue me or anything. i should also probably caveat that i am coming from a very specific perspective: i'm a relational psychoanalyst; i have adjunctive training in several behavioral modalities but i believe very, very strongly in relational psychodynamic work as being THE thing. for patients with complex relational trauma (aka mr. ilya rozanov), i don't believe anything else can create lasting change. i also don't believe in the medical model of mental health. these are things about which reasonable people can, of course, disagree, so i'll try to separate out things i think she does WRONG vs things i think are missed opportunities to do well/what i would do differently

[comingatthecottage]

THINGS THAT ARE WRONG the biggest and worst: patient presents for therapy for first time despite significant treatment barriers. patient discloses that he believes he is depressed. patient has a first-degree relative who died by suicide. your next question, your very next question, is "are you thinking of killing yourself". you don't beat around the bush, you don't imply it, you don't wait until the patient volunteers. you must ask directly and you must do so before the patient leaves your office, because there is a huge and immediate risk that this appointment is someone's last cry for help before an attempt, and the odds of a depressed patient with a trauma history related to the suicide of a parent attempting suicide is fucking staggering. it is in my opinion malpractice not to even screen for suicidal intent at this first appointment ANYWAY, i do this for all patients and to not do it for someone with ilya's history is outrageously dangerous. life-threateningly incompetent care. lack of treatment planning: doesn't take a history or anything at the first appointment. jumps directly into talking about a horrific trauma (finding his mother's dead body). sometimes people do come in to a first session in an escalated state and have to begin directly with discussing whatever is happening at that moment, and then you meet them where they're at, but ilya arrives in a calm if slightly nervous state. she should have started by laying out what therapy would look like and beginning to build rapport, not immediately being like "so how about your mom's corpse". the way she makes the diagnosis of depression is bizarre. “I think you are depressed”. she doesn't clarify whether or not she's actually diagnosing him with depression under the medical model, explain what that means, or ask what it means to him to hear that. it's also MONTHS in, after he came in suspecting depression, that she makes this diagnosis (in the US it has to be in the first session generally for insurance purposes, different, also bad). no actual screening for symptoms, no psychoeducation about what it means to have depression, no sense of prognosis which clearly upsets the patient. it is so important to contextualize a diagnosis, both what the particular diagnosis is and what the act of diagnosing means. no differential diagnosis. she knows that ilya has experienced at least one criterion A trauma for PTSD (his mother's death) but does nothing to screen for symptoms. she doesn't ask how old his sexual partners he had when he was fourteen were to screen for sexual abuse. she doesn't rule out bipolar which is a must when diagnosing depression. she doesn't ask any questions about substance use or screen for potential neurodivergence or any of a million other things. she doesn't refer to medical for potential physiological contributors for a guy whose career is "getting hit really hard in the head".

[comingatthecottage]

no clear treatment plan or goals, and no sense of how therapy is going to work besides… talking? the only goal ilya really sets is "be good enough for my boyfriend," and although she (rightly) pushes back on that she doesn't help him identify an alternate goal. she also doesn't explain what therapy is going to be like or how it works or help him get on board with what the project of therapy is going to be. she seems unshaken when he misses five appointments in a row (if i had a passively suicidal patient miss five appointments in a row i would not be brushing that off, we would be having a good chat about what the barriers to treatment were). culturally incompetent care: they're part of the same minority group (Russian immigrants) across one axis of identity, but Galina is not a queer hockey player (or as far as we know queer at all). she minimizes and dismisses the discrimination ilya is likely to face in his career from coming out, including the fact that he could get deported to Russia, jumping to a CBT technique that asks him to imagine the worst case scenario without engaging at all with how it feels to be in this position or validating his fears. mental health professionals have an ethical obligation to educate themselves about their patients' identities and to listen first. "I could lose my job and be deported and jailed because of my sexual identity" is not a cognitive distortion, it is a terrifying reality. perhaps an unlikely reality, but it exists. trying to use cognitive therapies to "reframe" real experiences of discrimination is, flat-out, therapeutic abuse. she also should have explicitly responded to his fear that she would out shane when he's afraid to say shane's name, not obliquely implied that she knows they're both hockey players: "i want to let you know that confidentiality extends to anything and everything you tell me, except (reiterate legal carveouts). there are no circumstances under which i would disclose your partner's identity to anyone. if you want to use his name, i won't repeat it to anyone except when we're in this room" THINGS THAT ARE POOR THERAPEUTIC STYLE IN MY OPINION AND WHAT I WOULD DO BETTER #MYNARCISSISM lack of curiosity: she does not prompt him to reflect emotionally, even when there are very obvious entry points to do so to do so. i.e. ilya says he's glad his father is dead, which is a huge emotional disclosure that is very risky for a patient to make, especially in a first appointment because he might expect judgment. and she just… asks a factual question about the timeline, rather than engaging with the emotional content in any way (as a relational analyst what i would do here is ask "what does it feel like to share that with me?", but i do not think any good therapist would like, change the subject away from the feeling)

[comingatthecottage]

she regularly offers direct opinions about/interpretations of things ilya says, very early in their therapeutic relationship. "that must have been very hard" in response to his father's expectations of him (which he interprets as being about sochi--he seems to hear 'it must have been hard for you to fail like that', which is, uh, bad!), "it's good that you had that," etc. in spite of the fact that he's already indicated a complex relationship with his family and himself that mean he might feel quite differently than someone else expects! was it good that he had hockey, or did it just create another burden on him and his relationship with his father, or is it somewhere in the middle? did his father's expectations feel hard? traumatizing? was he proud that so much was expected of him? when did he notice those feelings? just some questions i might ask. describing how ilya must feel about things closes off conversation. her affect and presentation in the session: ilya repeatedly notices her masking her reactions to things, like the fact that he became sexually active so young. i guess technically you're still allowed to be a blank slate style therapist, even though i don't know anyone who still does this. but if you're a blank slate, be a blank slate. don't let patients notice that you're hiding your reactions to things. so for instance i would approach that conversation by having whatever reaction i had and then saying, "you might notice i had a reaction to you saying that," and either asking the patient how they interpreted my reaction or asking them if they'd like to know what i'm thinking (and then how does it feel to know that i'm feeling concerned, etc, the relational field goes on forever). my way isn't the only way but if you're visibly swallowing reactions it's bad. she doesn't check in with ilya about how he's feeling about therapy and dismisses his fear that it's not working. tbh the only thing she says that i like is "i'm good, but i'm not that good," which IS something i might say. but she doesn't go from there, it becomes a way of dismissing his fears. i would have asked what it's like to have to tolerate such a slow and uncertain recovery process. does he think therapy can help? are there ways in which it has helped? how does it feel to talk about it? how does it feel to talk to me about it? bizarre attitude towards self-disclosure. she gives ilya next to no information about herself, which, again, is an old-fashioned but not per se wrong way to do it. just because i'm the relational yapper machine 3000 doesn't mean that every therapist needs to tell their patient anything about themselves. but she does self-disclose twice. she tells ilya that she's watching their season/is a hockey fan, and makes a weird comment that she also enjoys shopping as a coping mechanism but that bedsheets are more in her price range than sports cars. even though i'm the yappatron 3000 i would not choose to make these particular disclosures! admittedly if i had a famous patient and i knew about their career i would probably tell them that directly in the first session, i would not however make asides about it because now you're kind of creating a dual relationship. the bedsheets thing is weird bc you gotta keep a wiiiide birth around anything even quasi sexual, like don't invite a patient to imagine what your bed is like you weirdo. also finances are usually an inappropriate thing to self-disclose, because therapy is also a financial relationship! i would never joke about how a patient has more money than me (even though most of my patients have a lot more money than me), it seems likely to induce guilt and also to disturb the therapeutic frame around money which is hard to manage anyway

[comingatthecottage]

therapeutic interventions: i mean the biggest problem is that she doesn't really seem to have a consistent style or approach or anything. they just kind of chat. the things she does say are… weird. she directly gives advice about what he should do in his relationship with Shane repeatedly. She doesn’t otherwise tell ilya what to do, which would actually be more appropriate--there's a place for giving depressed patients clear instructions imo. but she doesn't do that, she tells him what to do with his boyfriend which is far riskier because she's never met shane! the worst bit is that she also directly predicts what the outcome of one of the conversations she tells him to have will be, which is… bad, because she does not know Shane, and this is like their fourth session, and she could be wrong. That’s how you destroy a therapeutic rapport forever btw, is make a promise you can’t keep. i have never in my career assured a patient that a conversation they were gonna have with someone else would turn out well, because i don't know that person. maybe shane is an abusive asshole who is going to say "well if you're depressed just kill yourself already". she doesn't know this man!

her ideas about how to treat depression seem limited to pills and exercise. which is crazy because the man is a professional athlete. and she's like "well maybe go on a bike ride." because rachel reid clearly doesn't know how therapy works or what the mechanism of action is! she doesn't lay out the many, many possibilities ("i recommend speaking to a psychiatrist, options might include ssris or snris, other antidepressants, mood stabilizers, etc. there are also interventional methods like intravenous ketamine, transcranial magnetic stimulation, or ECT. i mention those only so you understand that there are a lot of options, and a lot of hope). she doesn't actually offer psychoed about lifestyle interventions--why exercise? what does nutrition look like? sleep? she tells him he needs to come out to his friends but doesn't offer anything to help him actually understand how social isolation and depression interact. she doesn't look at any of his strengths, notably the fact that he has a partner who adores him, that he has survived a lifetime of immense trauma, that he has a brilliantly successful career, etc. there's a stab at one CBT exercise but otherwise no concrete skills (again not my thing but it would be something). and no information about different therapy modalities and how they could potentially help him. okay that's the end of my essay sorry to anyone who doesn't care and had to watch this get reblogged like 8 separate times becasue tumblr was mad abt how long it was if anyone wants to know My Case Formulation of fictional character Ilya Rozanov and how i would Fix Him let me know @stunkbug here is the essay!

[cosdahlia]

good afternoon to biblically accurate Buck-Diaz .

[aokozaki]

"Time loop stories as an allegory for grief" is great and all but love love love when a time loop is entirely self-inflicted and it quickly becomes apparent it's a sort of anxiety disorder driven savior complex.

C'mon, save 'em all. You're the only one who can. :D

[official-time-loop-posts]

Official Time Loop Post

[lover-of-mine]

Okay but Eddie thinks babies are signs, who's writing the accidental baby acquirement fic where Buck gets a baby and Eddie's reaction is we should get married?

[lover-of-mine]

Buck: I'm a single father now

Eddie: *producing a diamond ring out of thin air* no you're not

[lover-of-mine]

S10 buddie opening arc is gonna be this, trust.

[moonandmyman]

i was then shot 57 times

[actuallysara]

Hudson Williams in 2025 by Cydney Rose 📸

[cakepopsandcoffee]

Shane chasing Ilya's lips.

[4995-sbedfordst]

Didn't know what to do this evening and decided to rewatch the umbrella academy. Beside its final season, that left me quite mad, I think it's a really good show. I love the characters (all 1 through 7), with their flaws and weirdness but also loyalty and purity, love the music choices and random dancing segments, love the time-jumping storylines and logic behind them, even if I'm not always able to make sense of it.

So I wanted to ask people:

who's your favourite "number"?

1, Luther

2, Diego

3, Allison

4, Klaus

5, Five

6, Ben

7, Viktor

Remaining time: 1 day 6 hours

[giveemhales]

Criminally Underrated Hollanov Fics

I’ve seen some other people make similar lists and wanted to share some of my fav Hollanov fics that deserve more love! So here are 10 fics with under 10k hits and under 100 comments. Also I tried to tag authors if they have a tumblr but pls lmk if I missed anyone! Please check these fics out and remember to leave a comment if you enjoy ❤️ I have so many more hidden gems so i will do a part 2 if ppl enjoy this list!

ETA: Part 2

Wooing One Ilya Rozanov (On Shane’s Behalf) by @aftgst (2.8k, T) - jj realizes shane has a crush on ilya and makes a plan to wingman him. i love this concept so much, supportive jj ftw

Black Tie Optional by @proseandpulse (3k, G) - shane admits to ilya he almost wore a suit their first night together. tooth-rotting fluff!

put me under by prismpearl (4.5k, T, locked) - soft dom ilya taking care of an exhausted shane with non-sexual submission. so soft and gooey

all of our midnights by @jswander (4.5k, E) - ember and ice crossover. finn and dane appear in shane and ilya’s world. where my fellow E&I lovers at?? not sure if it will make sense w/o listening to the audiobooks, but i personally cannot get enough of this au

Always Meet Your Heroes by @find-me-in-the-ivy (5k, M) - pov of a russian rookie on the metros during the first ottawa v montreal grudge match since shane joined the centuars. love this oc and love how protective and sweet ilya/ the centaurs are

Been So Long Since He Called Your Name by @goldenraeofsun (7k, M) - after ilya’s plane crashed and he had to survive in the woods, he reunites with shane at the cottage, but shane is acting very weird… fic is a lot less depressing than the tags make it sound and is actually very sweet! (I think this actually just hit 10k hits but shhhh)

go walk into your dawn by @astronomical-fog (9.9k, T) - ilya invites cliff over to tell him he’s moving to ottawa. usually read cliff as a silly character so this is a very nice exploration of cliff having genuine emotions about his bestie and captain leaving the team and revealing a massive secret.

Enough by @complicatedsquishy (25k, T, locked) - shane is worried he’s not a good omega for ilya and tries to fix himself, not realizing just how distressing that is for ilya. love fics where shane gets to be a non-traditional omega, and this one is special bc he doesn’t hate his gender, he’s just worried about how ilya will feel

things that go bump in the night by orangemoons (29k, M) - shane hunts feral vampires, ilya is a vampire who sometimes swoops in to help, and they can’t stop sleeping together. but there are greater forces than they realize trying to keep them apart. honestly i went a little feral over this fic. the plot is so juicy and i am flabbergasted it isn’t more popular, this fandom is sleeping on supernatural aus!! (heed the tags, this does get dark at parts)

Compromised by @ggfj84 (30k, M) - shane is a secret agent captured by the russian mafia and ilya is tasked with extracting info from him. this is complicated by the fact they are in a relationship and in love. intrigue! suspense! plot twists! this fic kept me on the edge of my seat (heed the tags)

Happy reading ❤️

[shaneposting]

shane is literally a Boyfriend guys he’s stocking the cottage full of stuff he’d never eat bc they’re ilya’s favourite snacks and he’s driving his passenger princess around and carrying ilya’s bags and asking what he wants for dinner and waking him up in the middle of the night to be like ‘hey here’s how we can be together forever until we are old and wrinkly. do u agree yes or yes’

and even before that he’s constantly checking if his baby is okay and he’s sitting in that stairwell cuddling ilya’s jacket and he’s so desperate to hold ilya’s hand when he’s off his head on painkillers. he’s rereading old texts. he’s got his phone in his hand and he’s texting ilya when he’s literally just got off the ice after winning the cup again and that’s years before they’re even together. he’s inviting ilya to the cottage because he gets two weeks off a year and he wants to spend them both with his favourite person

he’s a loverboy! he’s spent so so long wanting to be able to connect with ilya like this and now he finally can! he was born to play hockey but also to be ilya’s boyfriend!

[hollanov-ann]

[vesnuszki]

do you ever think about how eyes are literally miracles of nature capturing rays of light and turning them into brain signals and it allows us to perceive so many wonderful things for example the canadian government funded hockey yaoi and shane hollander bouncing on it over and over and over and

[sunsetbuddie]

i do think if someone were to point blank ask eddie if he was in love with buck he'd be like Oh. like he might go to say No or even say No but would also immediately realise that Oh wait. that might not be true actually. oh. OH. like just hilariously the absolute opposite to buck who got so comically defensive about it because it Is true. eddie would be like. wow yeah fuck i think you might be right...........

[mooned-knights]

is anyone else annoyed that "ai" encompasses both chatgpt and tools we train to do repetitive tedious work for us. and by the ripple effect of articles like "scientists develop ai to detect cancer early" that make people argue for the merit of chatgpt or become anti-medicine. and by the general state of the world and society

[quiet-doll]

recently saw ppl discuss whether they put their medicines in a kitchen cabinet or a bathroom cabinet and i was shocked by the fact that many ppl said kitchen cabinet. so now i need you to reblog this and say where you keep yours

[jesuisexhausted]

“if you’re willing, i’m able…”