Worm.

Useless Bastard Inc. (any pronouns)

[60000beesinatrenchcoat]

“Are u a sugar free red bull gay or a white monster gay lmao” girl I’m a boycott, divest, sanction gay 😔 I’m consuming energy drink brands no one’s ever heard of including me

[apolladay]

Please only vote if you've been driving for over 2 years

How many times have you been pulled over by the police?

Never

Once

Twice

Three times

Four times

Five times

Six times

Seven times

Eight times or more

Remaining time: 4 days 20 hours

[the-real-seebs]

it's really hard to be sure because i've been driving for >30 years, but i voted 4, since i think that's about right. i'm not entirely sure, though. it could be a little higher? but it's pretty rare!

things like "left turn at an intersection which does not allow left turns during a specific two-hour period", mostly. i don't think i've ever been dinged for speeding, because i don't speed by a large enough margin that they care.

[shoezuki]

obsessed with the canadian ghoulmaxxing acecel

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free:  pouring river water in your socks

[evilscum-deactivated20160223]

why would i do that lmao

[officialunitedstates]

it’s quick, it’s easy and it’s free

[anxeious]

playing hard to want

[ao3femslashtop100-tournament]

AO3 Femslash Top 100: Round 1

Gideon Nav/Harrowhark Nonagesimus (The Locked Tomb) vs Princess Bubblegum/Marceline (Adventure Time)

Gideon/Harrow (The Locked Tomb)

Bubblegum/Marceline (Adventure Time)

Remaining time: 2 days 14 hours

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.

[partywithponies]

Shoutout to people in the notes also mentioning people learning the language, I should've mentioned that really, given that I've been stuck reading German picture books myself while learning German.

[stopoftouchingmywingsihurt]

[smallrat36wagon-deactivated2021]

LOL whos tye saultry little binch on the bottom lsft????

[foxyclock]

this post is less than 1% away from being completely incomprehensible

[crabussy]

every 14-16 year old is the bravest person on the planet to me

[crabussy]

talking to a 15 year old like wow okay you are like if scrambled eggs was a person. I don't know how to save you. the way you move through the world is reminiscent of a stray cat whose soul got punted into a human body. said human body is currently undergoing changes and floods of hormones that would result in cities being levelled if you were perhaps a big dragon and not a medium sized primate. been there. good luck I love you

[crabussy]

you don't have to excuse the behaviours of shitty teenagers, but you DO have to remember that they've been on this earth only as long as your cat. you have to ensure that the way you respond to said behaviour reflects this. yes they're an entire person. they're also going through a period of the most insane rapid transformation (physically, mentally, emotionally and socially) a person can experience in life. are they an irredeemable monster or are they just a very impressionable young person floundering through their first Strong Opinions based on what they've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in their bloodstream?

[crabussy]

YOUNG TEENAGERS. are YOU an irredeemable monster or are YOU just a very impressionable young person floundering through your first Strong Opinions based on what you've seen online, with ridiculous amounts of Hormone That Makes You Hate Everything in your bloodstream? I'll give you a hint. it's the second option. cut yourself some slack too! try your very best to be kind, try your very best to consider people with differing experiences to you, and maybe take a step back from discourse that does nothing besides make you upset. you've only been an animal alive on this planet for a decade and a bit. there are artisanal cheddars at your local supermarket older than you. take it easy. eat more fruit. save up for a second hand bicycle. join a local club. it's impossibly difficult to be a teenager but you have it in you, whether you're aware of it or not. I hope you can be kind to yourself, because you DO deserve that kindness. kia kaha [:

[m1ndfuck3d4ndt0uchst4rv3d]

Did you just fucking compare me to a block of cheese

[crabussy]

yes. adds you to my pasta sauce

[crabussy]

I also compared you to scrambled eggs. you could be a balanced meal and that's okay

[boybeetles]

You know technology literacy is dying because I saw this meme with 76k likes

F11 the full screen button? You’re scared of the full screen button? F10?? It opens the menu bar???

[boybeetles]

Computers are so scary what if I accidentally hit F12 in a steam game and it takes a screenshot. What if I press shift + F12 while in word and accidentally save my document 😖

[yetanothergreyjedi]

[shower-thoughts-last-responder]

If you had to learn what the F keys on your computer do through me reblogging this post, then I'm glad you did. Computer literacy is not a skill that gets taught anymore, and it is absolutely one that needs to be taught in order to be learned. Don't ever feel bad for not knowing something, but ☝️ don't ever stop learning learning about your environment, the tools you use, and especially the people around you

[headspace-hotel]

Never stop learning+ Never stop sharing what you learned

[sadclowncentral]

nearly had a medical emergency today because - and i cannot stress enough how little i am making this up - a helicopter landed in front of an open grain silo while i was getting off my ship and i am deathly allergic to the wheat that said helicopters rotor blades proceeded to blast in my face at full force. the cosmic forces are plotting against me ass situation to be in

[sadclowncentral]

[ID: anonymous question reading: helicopter deadass said gluten tag ///end ID]

:(

[lanternseason]

I cannot let this languish in tags, thank you for your service @beemovieerotica

[60000beesinatrenchcoat]

Looking thru my drafts found this absolute gem of philosophical thought

Yeah man I guess I really didn’t have the words yet. Lmao.

[contemptible-scoundrel]

🐖EMPATHYPIG LIKED YOUR POST♥️

>I don't see the point in living anymore

🐖EMPATHYPIG REPLIED TO YOUR POST 💬

>I know things are difficult right now, but you need to hold on. I care about you.

[60000beesinatrenchcoat]

Is there a genre that’s like a sit-com, but instead of the Absurd and Funny yet Unlikely situations piling upon one another to create comedic drama and resolution, it’s just Bad and Unfortunate and also Really Pretty Unlikely things piling up that results in utter despair and horror?

Asking for a friend haha

[60000beesinatrenchcoat]

Woah got eaten by the grief void for a second there haha yknow how it goes..

ANYWAY! Because I’ve never, not once in my life, learned a SINGLE lesson:

Meet Miss Spaghetti!!

She’s 13 and I just adopted her from the shelter i volunteer at bc I am weak willed and I watched her get passed up by 3 (three!!!) potential adopters. Shes so spunky and sweet and an absolute attention HOG she has never met a lap she didn’t want to sit in and she will INSIST on being pet please and thank you. She has NO teeth and BULLSHIT patellas and was unspayed until she was surrendered, but is overall in excellent health! If anything happened to her I would kill everyone here and then myself!

[60000beesinatrenchcoat]

I realized I have yet to put Ms Spaghetti on my blog but it feels wrong without acknowledging (to no one, this is tumblr, my tagged posts get 4 likes I I wouldn’t want it any other way) that beloved boy Zeus passed at the start of February. So here it is. Here’s your post little love.

Origin of zeuscore, little doggie, and little doggiecore posts on my blog, he was the center of my world and light of my life. I miss him every day.

We got a little over 7 years together, and given the number of health issues he had and close calls we scraped through, is more than we even could have reasonably hoped for. At 17-ish, he had one eye, two teeth, probably 10% vision, and the most love any dog had maybe ever had. He was my co-pilot, my first mate, my best friend, my adventure buddy, my package deal, and in many ways my soul mate. I don’t know if I’ll ever love anyone or anything as much as I loved—and still love—my boy. You took a piece of my soul with you when you left. My little scrunkle. My Mouse. My son. Zeus, Zeusy, Zooter, Zoop, Soup, Monkey, Bug, Baby Boy, Angel Boy, The Monster, Leetle, Ibby Bibby Baby Boy, Big Z, Little Buddy. Thank you for staying as long as you did. If love alone could have kept you here you could have lived forever. Being your mom has been the best part of my life.

[caffedorzo]