Jess

sad until further notice

[angeltiddies]

reverse gaslighting where i pretend to know exactly what you are talking about

[oneheadtoanother]

[amazingspaceship]

You can really spot a lot if you look closely at all the fighters…

[salamander-hamilton]

[draggedthruthe-yard]

THIS HAS GONE WAY TOO FAR

[glumshoe]

I like haunted houses in theory BUT I have no idea how to react when the actors speak to you. They ask me a question and I just… answer it…

The scariest part of a haunted house is the unscripted social interaction.

[glumshoe]

Scary nurse in a creepy voice: “Do you have an appointment to see the doctor?”

Me: “Uh. Do you accept walk-ins?”

[glumshoe]

Scary farmer: “I like to kill people!”

My friend, brightly: “I like to die!”

[puerto-nic0]

Zombie : “AARRRGH”

Me : “Do you get dental insurance?”

Zombie : “TEETH!!”

[schmergo]

This happened to me.

Scary prison dude: HELLO

Me: Nice to meet you!

Him: (pause) No it’s noooooot

[onlyfangz]

it’s awkward when you’re on the other side too!

me: (jumps out from hidey hole and cackles)

dude: OH FUCK ARE YOU GETTING PAID FOR THIS?!

me: (spooky voice) … yeeeeeeeeeeeesssss

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I swiped my credit card on this vending machine and it said “no sale” and just spat out a dollar bill at me??

[dragon-in-a-fez]

reblog the Money Dollar and a vending machine will bless you with miniscule wealth and extreme confusion

[ghiraher]

I already have minuscule wealth and extreme confusion

[dragon-in-a-fez]

I know I’m the op but honestly what a mood

[mens-rights-activia]

Me: I’m having such a hard time, can y’all please go easy on me?

[mens-rights-activia]

According to this meme I made in 2016, 2018 is the last year in a barrage of terrible years. In 2019, the suffering will end and good things will come to us once again

[albearrawr]

Reblog for a good 2019, because goddamnit we all need it.

[smalltalktorture]

tumblr i am literally begging you to let me reblog your shitpost ads

[setheverman]

when you pull your headphones out of your pocket and out comes your keys, money, tampons and russia

[setheverman]

ok i’ve had so many people asking me why i, a boy, would have tampons in my pocket, but not a single person asking me why i, a boy, would have THE ACTUAL NATION OF RUSSIA IN MY POCKET

[theworldaccordingtotimmycap]

Everyone knows that Putin made a travel sized Russia

[setheverman]

Russian accent: Ah yes I make perfect country to Putin your pocket

[to-reach-the-farthest-star-deac]

This post is illegal in Russia

[90919293949596979899-deactivate]

Damn, look how ripe these soda’s are. Almost ready for peeling.

[90919293949596979899-deactivate]

oof….

Now this is perfection. nice and juicy 

[oppa-homeless-style]

call that a freshlight

[ramenfuneral]

nothing like deep dicking an ice cold frussy

[verygayandverytired]

learning how to read was the biggest mistake of my life

[sleepdeprecation-deactivated201]

I love dick so gosh darn much

[dankmemeuniversity]

[pyrlspite]

[dudeholdmybeer-deactivated20180]

me trying on new outfits in my room

[gifbro]

[4gifs]

Soup-serving robot fail. [video]

[mistertotality]

Simone Giertz, the self-proclaimed “Queen of Shitty Robots.” She intentionally engineers terrible robots just for fun.

[blenderweaselhasopinions]

everything this woman makes is goddamn fantastic

[welcometonerdland-deactivated20]

[dickslapthestate]

So I went to her YouTube channel cuz I was like “yo I want some more funny robot videos.

Turns out:

Her latest update on twitter just came out less than a day ago:

Hopefully, her recovery goes well.

On a lighter note, when she discussed the possibility of going blind in one eye as a result of the surgery she got a comment:

[draciformes]

She’s recovering wonderfully and she is not blind and doesnt have any complications! And she rented a full workshop, she used to work literally on the other side of her tiny basically one or two room house but now she has a whole workshop! I’m so happy for her

[ravenhexxx]

This made my fucking day…..I usually only blog about Witchy things but .this just made me smile and laugh so….what is more bewitching that a smile and a laugh …..so fuck it …posted

[laughterkey]

I had no idea she’d gone through all of this. Heads up, you can support her on Patreon.

[luckydreaming]

Are fedoras really that bad?

YES YES THEY ARE

[onceuponakhaleesi]

voidethered:

ask-omnipony:

I don’t really believe this mumbo jumbo

I mean it’s a goddamn hat.

Right..?

The white rose, it symbolizes the unique beauty of all the women who wish not to be with a nice guy such as myse-

I wonder if this works with other kinds of hat…

Nothing ventured, nothing gained…

WHEEEN THE MOON HITS YOUR EYE LIKE A BIG PIZZA PIE THAT’S AMORREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Men of Tumblr are my favorite kind of people…

[jamesbleach]

wait, does that mean?

oh boy…….

[usedtobehmc]

Luckily, this nonsense doesn’t work on girls.

Observe…

[rootbeergoddess-deactivated2017]

IT’S GOTTEN BETTER!

[coffeeandcursewords]

This post is immaculate

[mobians-and-chaos-blog]

It can’t be true.

And it can’t possibly work on motorcycle helmets.

I must test it.

Nothing happening so far…

[strampunch]

HOLY SHIT IT WORKS

[pokemon-chick-1personalblog-blog]

What in the world?

Oh why not? This should be interesting.

Here we go!

Were all mad here in Underland!

What the hell! Never Again!

… Actually …

One more time.

[combthecombel]

Alright, I gotta try this!

Can’t be that bad!

….

…oh my god…

[verityglasses]

ask-gmodsfmrocks:

LOL

This just gets better and better

[fairytail-angel]

This is one of my favourite things to look at

[strampunch]

holy shit this stuff is back

[livia-jones]

The Gravity Falls one though

[nightowlhowell]

i wonder if it works for flower crowns?

here goes nothin-

w HAT THE

DID I JUST-

WHAT THE FUCK

[artfulhobbes]

Okay Clearly something is up.

Hmm… I wonder

I’m sure nothing could possibly…

HOLY SHIT

[clolymoly-deactivated20190507]

IT GOT BETTER

[nukewolf]

I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING SO LONG FOR THIS POST OH MY GOD!!!

[cm8x-insanity]

I wonder what happens when you wear 8 of these at once…

[sixpenceee]

What an amazing amount of detail in this painting. (Source)

[space-is-out-there]

Me at first: it’s good! I don’t know what they mean about the detailing tho :/

Me, watching it zoom out: OH SHIT

Me watching it get to the full picture:

OH MY GOD?!?!?!

[amateur]

[shut-up-zack-deactivated2021010]

@an0nymz In response to your tags, this was a cord used to hook up a PlayStation or PlayStation 2, with RCA heads on one end, and that rectangular head on the other end. It could also be used with a PS3, but PS3 also had an HDMI output, so most people used that.

[an0nymz]

That is cool! I only ever had Playstation 3 and 4, so no wonder I’ve never seen that before!

[shut-up-zack-deactivated2021010]

Here’s a closer look

I’d show you the whole cable, but I’ve got things set up in a pretty specific way, and dissembling it would be a pain…

[sylphwhisperer-deactivated20180]

Holy F UCK

[storm-driver]

Have we really reached the year where some of you guys haven’t seen this before…?

[nyanbinyuri]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

we only came to this site in the first place b/c we were gay and liked harry potter

[cal3f-deactivated20191206]

i actually came to this site because of onceler incest

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

you’re just

gonna say those words huh

[southernsideofme-deactivated201]

[queenofthyme]

i choked