A Tumblr

[abigailunderthemoon]

“But it’s not about the owl monster statue in the basement!”

“It’s always about the thing you’re hiding in the basement.”

Random lines from comedy shows sometimes just blow your heart out the back of your chest. Thank you Dimension 20.

[wifegideonnav]

“bits to use in everyday conversations”

[diamondbunnyotherstuff]

When people compliment my name I say "thanks I got it for my birthday"

[abigailunderthemoon]

My deadname wasn’t very common, but my new name is reasonably common and all the time now when I introduce myself and someone will say something like, ‘My daughter’s name is Abigail!’ and the first time someone did that I discovered my instinctive response was to say something like, ‘Oh wow! My mother’s daughter’s name is Abigail!’ in a surprised voice. I have made one person laugh of the dozens I’ve said this to, a lovely old lady with whom I made fast friends.

[stephexmachina]

when i was a kid i was so mad all the time bc i thought someday i'd have to be somebody's wife i didn't know it was optional. is everybody reminding the young girls in their lives that it's optional.

[stephexmachina]

AND SO IS BEING SOMEBODY'S MOTHER‼️

[stephexmachina]

it is about being a woman. hope that helps!

[vibrantstarfire]

reading comprehension questions for the notes:

is wanting to be a wife and mother a requirement for being a woman?

why might OP be annoyed with replies assuming that this post is about being aroace or transmasc if a woman doesn’t want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to sexuality and romantic interest that might make a woman not want to be a wife or mother?

are there reasons unrelated to gender identity and expression that might make a woman not want to be a wife and mother?

core concept: what is gender essentialism?

is it gender essentialism to imply that all women inherently want to be wives and mothers? could this be what OP is critiquing?

look at the notes OP responds to. is it gender essentialism to imply that being a wife and mother is so affixed to womanhood that to not want to be those things means you’re incapable of sexual/romantic feelings, or not a woman?

what trait are you perpetuating when you assume that women who do not want to be wives and mothers must be aroace or trans? is it gender essentialism?

[weepingpussywillowtree-deactiva]

sometimes I think about how far we still have to go with consent

my worst relatives try to sneak meat or meat products into my food despite the fact that I'm a vegetarian

my ex's brother gave his mother an edible without her knowledge and when she got freaked out and paranoid they laughed, and people I've told that go "yeah that's shitty but it's just weed"

when I go to the doctor and ask them to describe what they are going to do before touching me they get frustrated

when I ask a friends of a friend who is a small influencer to keep me out of frame in videos they film for social media in public they look at me like I've pissed in their cereal

idk man, we've got a long way to go.

[abigailunderthemoon]

I think this person is (or hopefully was) just surrounded by shitty people.

I know lots of people with food restrictions, some for ethical, some for religious, some for medical, and some for sheer preference reasons and I don’t know anyone who would fuck with their food by trying to sneak something in they didn’t want to eat. I know one or two people who won’t fuss about cross contamination and they make sure that’s known - some people with non-trace sensitivities are okay with that (a little soy isn’t going to kill me, just don’t feed me tofu) and some aren’t. But no one would meaningfully add something on someone.

I don’t know anyone who would drug someone against their will. Some of my friends let it be known they’re willing to be dosed by surprise, but no one would ever drug someone without their general consent. I don’t know what we’d do if we knew someone did that. Maybe call the police? Certainly no one I know would speak to them again. It’s a fully shocking thought that someone would do that (let alone to their mother). And I don’t live in a drug free context, but folks are careful. If you told me that story I wouldn’t say ‘yeah that’s shitty but it’s just weed,’ I’d say, ‘it doesn’t sound like she’s safe there. We need to think about safeguarding procedures and getting her psychological assistance and maybe a new place to stay.’

And you definitely need a new doctor. I’ve never had a doctor lay hands on me without telling me why ahead of time. They don’t get affirmative consent for every thing they do, it’s a presumed consent situation, but they’ve never failed to warn me or give me an opportunity to say ‘no’ to a particular thing or ask for clarification.

And I’ve also asked someone to keep me out of a shot when they were recording a thing. They kept me out of the shot. Obviously. It’s basic courtesy.

Maybe I’m surrounded by folks with an above average sense of consent. But I think that’s just how people are in general? At least in my context. I hope your people get better, or you find better people.

[elierlick]

Yet another new study debunked the basis for the anti-trans sports bans. It was never about sports but for creating legal avenues for exclusion and abjection. This is one of the largest analyses ever conducted, involving 52 studies and 6,485 trans people. Read the study here.

[lucieslucidity]

post so nice had to reblog it twice and force it down everyone's throats

[the-haiku-bot]

post so nice had to

reblog it twice and force it

down everyone’s throats

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[systlin]

Note as someone who has visited and driven in most of the 48 lower contiguous states of the 50 small countries in a trenchcoat that make up the USA;

The drivers of all states suck, of course, this is a given. HOWEVER. There are some very special places that stand out among these. In order of how in fear for my life I was.

3. Houston. Drivers in Texas in general treat speed limits as a lower limit for how fast you should be going and the drivers in Houston show no regard for life or limb.

2. Atlanta. The drivers of Atlanta do not fear death for themselves and would rather you both die than let you merge.

Fucking. New Jersey. If I never drive I-95 or the Turnpike again I will die happy. You've never known fear until you see someone neglect to use turn signals and Jersey Slide through 4 lanes of near bumper to bumper 80 MPH traffic and cut in front of you to make their exit as you slam the brakes on and miss rear ending them by about half an inch.

On the flip side, the BEST driving I've ever seen? Suprisingly, New Orleans. Now, I went NOT during Mardi Gras, but I found the drivers there to be courtious and cautious with a very few exceptions. 10/10.

[systlin]

Side note; New Orleans also has the best food, hands down bar none. Ya'll down there know how to COOK.

[baronmagikcarp]

I've never driven in Houston (and plan never to do so) but I can confirm that Dallas traffic is similar. It's absolutely ridiculous. The description of Atlanta is spot on. I made the mistake of using my turn signal and I swear five cars sped up to keep me in my lane.

As to New Orleans, agreed. It was an absolute pleasure driving there though going up a two hundred foot tall bridge is a bit nerve wracking.

[systlin]

Legit was filling the car up and one NOLA resident heard us talking about where to get lunch, and the man wandered over, introduced himself, gave us a reccomendation for a little resturant, detailed directions, and offered to lead us there.

We found it without him leading us there but like, great city, great people, and the food was in fact fantastic. Some of the best biscuits I've ever eaten.

I thought the huge bridge was cool, but then I'm used to driving enormous bridges over the Mississippi!

[abigailunderthemoon]

I grew up and live in New Jersey and you’re not wrong, that’s just how it be. But I’m don’t taking shit about Jersey driving since I drove in Italy. Never mind the traffic in the cities that can best be described as ‘improvisational’, it’s once you get out into the country that it gets fully wild. Those fuckers will do seventy up and down series of hairpin turns on mountain cliffs without the least safety rails IN TOTAL DARKNESS.

I’ve driven in some fucked to situations. I’ve changed a tire on a bridge on the Turnpike in the pouring rain, waiting for someone to hit me. I’ve had fuckers Jersey slide within six inches of me. Never have I been more sure I was going to die than when I drove through the back roads of Tuscany at night. It’s a whole other thing guys.

[perkyshelley]

chose a hill but i won't die on it. feel free to come and be killed on my hill

[turin-turambar-reborn]

[abigailunderthemoon]

Hang on, I need to look something up.

So, I’m sorry that took so long, but I had to travel to the White City and look long through the archives of Minis Tirith, but I found not all I was seeking and so I rode for Isengard to take council with the leader of my order where I learned what I sought and also that Saruman the White has been turned after gazing too long and too deeply into the Palantir and has thrown in with the forces of the Dark Lord and he imprisoned me atop his fastness of Orthanc until I gained rescue by the aid of Gwaihir, the Lord of the Eagles, gaining me both my freedom and that critical information I needed to make here my reply.

Yeah, that’s funny.

[heedra]

really losing my patience for any 'feminist' statement to the tune of 'we need feminism because women fill a fundamentally different and necessary role than men and will be better at doing x y or z'. like actually i think we need feminism because it is an unbearable death of the spirit by inches to exist in a world where you are not seen as a fully realized human being because of a single cultural determination, and because a world that enshrines such things creates systems that are fundamentally sick to the core

[abigailunderthemoon]

Any system that assigns different roles and responsibilities to different classes of people and includes ‘determining what roles and responsibilities are assigned to whom’ as one delegated exclusively to one class is inherently suspect and must be presumed to be functioning in bad faith unless affirmatively justified.

[albamelody]

i recently saw a tiktok where a woman asked "girlies: what are some things you do to be more whimsical? I love knowing cute little habbits"

and i've never loved a comment section more. some of my faves:

(˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)

[dovewithscales]

I talk to basically everything as if it's a person. I greet passing crows as my "cousins." I respond conversationally to my cats. I yell "same to you!" when inanimate objects make loud noises. I say good morning to plants. I thank my phone when an alarm goes off. When objects don't act the way I want them to I explain what I need them to do, or tell them they're being rude. I tell my car when we're stopping for gas.

[naamahdarling]

I reassure credit card readers who are struggling that I know they are doing their best. Bless you, you funky lil machine, I'm sorry my dad is part of the reason people hate you. :(

[theabigailthorn]

If an object looks like it's about to roll away or fall over I'll put it in its place and then raise my index finger and one eyebrow at it like it's a naughty child or a cat about to push a glass of water over, like "Ah ah ah! Stay where you are!" I did this to my groceries last week and the checkout lady saw me and said "That was adorable."

[abigailunderthemoon]

Whenever my wife or I are leaving the house and the other one isn’t there we let our stuffed animals know which one is in charge. Ceri (the triceratops) and Stabitha (the blahaj) are well known as the most responsible. George (the five foot tall penguin) had never been in charge and we were a bit dubious, but we decided to leave him in charge once and the dog got something she should have and made a mess, so he hasn’t been in charge. Son of George (the three foot tall penguin) has and she is very responsible.

[elissespieces]

I cannot overstate how much I love the Project Hail Mary movie- but there was a concept change from the book to film that I felt stuck out a little errantly.

First- yes; they have to sacrifice a lot between the book and the movie, I make peace with this (most of the time). However, in PHM, one of the things that felt too important to diverge from was how strikingly mirrored Grace was to Rocky. Not as friends, but as individuals. Simplistically, they were psychological and intellectual reflections of each other.

At the point in the storyline where the two species learned to communicate, both characters had already passed the point of mission status: desperation. It was dire circumstances with different forms of helplessness, despite equal intent.

Rocky and Grace both:

-left with a crew and were now alone. Neither one knew why.

-had a specialized skillset that made them uniquely qualified to work the known problem- it just wasn’t enough.

-welcomed help of any kind (this fact is insane. trying to imagine another human being in Ryland’s place does not work. It had to be him. We can assume it’s the same for Rocky)

-weren’t giving up on the mission*

-weren’t giving up on each other

When the communication barrier was no longer an issue, it became a tennis match of science, math, physics, chemistry, etc. Rocky was just as science smart as Grace, and they locked together seamlessly in order to work each problem as they came. It wasn’t perfect, and their ideas didn’t always work, but it wasn’t The Scientist and The Engineer. Their individual skills were bound only by the physical limitations of their separate environments. Knowledge was soaked up on both sides, contributing equally to every problem.

The point I guess I’m making is that I could have done without the scenes where one (or both) of them is made to look incompetent for the sake of the audience. ‘I have done this for you cause you did that for me.’ Even when irritated with each other, their contributions were more or less balanced to the cause.

Rocky saves Grace, Grace saves Rocky. They both save Earth and Erid together.

That’s it- that’s the movie.

*Grace gave up over and over in the movie, especially at the beginning, which was a critical time in the book to learn every inch of the ship and attempt to regain what he’d lost of himself.

Some of the goofiness was fine, that was in character and that’s fun to watch, but by going over the top with the terrified and blundering human act, Grace’s bravery came off as clumsy resignation. The man was writing math equations on his skin before he could find paper (let alone get to any computer controls). He was surprised to discover that he was good at spacewalking. There was a rooted determination to succeed without even knowing how he’d gotten there. Lacking these traits lessens the shock reveal that Grace woke up as another person. He hadn’t been brave, he hadn’t even consented to be there in the first place. And we feel this. It hurts so much because he’d worked and wept and sacrificed himself right from the start, shipped across the universe without help, without his name, on behalf of the planet that had betrayed him.

[abigailunderthemoon]

See, I liked that Grace woke up blundering and afraid. I thought it really amplified the themes of bravery. Like, Stratt convinced me Grace was a coward in her speech at the end of the book, but movie Grace felt like a coward throughout (freaking out, running away from Blip One, etc) which made him stepping up and accepting death for his friend and his friend’s world at the end feel like the resolution of a story long character arc.

Like, if you told me Weir had only come up with the idea that Grace was shanghaied into the thing towards the end of writing (his name seems fully integrated into the uniforms and the mission patch in the book) I’d believe that. In the movie, his reluctance and cowardice are embedded throughout.

I loved the book. I’ve read it a half dozen times. I think the movie is better.

[tempura-obscura]

accidentally becoming important at work literally ruined his life

[wine-dark-sky]

I was so scared they were heading for a romance subplot but congrats to Project Hail Mary for going for the far funnier option of 'Trolley Operator' and 'Guy She Is Actively Tying To The Tracks'. What a dynamic. Movie of the year.

[abigailunderthemoon]

I also love how it doesn’t feel, to me, like the movie is framing her as ‘bad?’ Maybe it’s me and I’m just a she-woman-man-hater, but Ryan Gosling was being dragged away screaming that she was killing him and she sort of shrugged a ‘wish that went differently’ shrug and I was full Lucile Bluth ‘good for her’ing. That woman did her best to kill the protagonist of the movie, played by a handsome and charming actor and I’m like, she’s great.

[orpheuslament]

[orpheuslament]

just so i dont get jumped let me make it perfectly clear that idgaf whether you do or you dont experience sexual/romantic attraction or whether you do or you dont want to be in a sexual/romantic relationship but this pervasive mentality within a particular subgroup of people on here that claims that Actually platonic relationships are Better & More Complex & More Honest & Queerer than romantic/sexual ones is absolutely tone-deaf SPECIALLY because you are mostly aiming this kind of sentiment towards queer people who most likely have had their sexual & romantic relationships constantly scrutinized. & if you cant understand why thats a shitty thing to do then truthfully i think youre beyond helping

[orpheuslament]

also oh my god "aromantic/asexual relationships are about connection" as opposed to sexual & romantic relationships that are about???? hunting & gathering???? finances?????

[abigailunderthemoon]

If I’m not asexual then I’m the next best thing to it and this always felt a bit rich to me when I’ve seen it in the past. I don’t understand what people are really getting out of sex, at the end of the day. How can I, with a straight face, claim ‘actually I connect more without that!’ This is definitionally sour grapes. Folks who like sex go on and on about the connection they feel during and after and because of sex; it’s not just silly for me to say, no you don’t, it’s actually holding you back. What you’re doing that I don’t understand is actually harming you because… reasons. Goodness, I’m transgender: that’s almost word for word what some cis people have said about transition.

Like, I’m color blind. I don’t act like the colors I can see are actually the better ones and you folks with your mastery of red are being numbed to the true beauty you could only see if only you burned out a bunch of your cones (eye cells that see color). Nah, I’m missing a thing that other people get and that sucks and that’s life. I bet those grapes taste great and I’m glad so many people, including so many people I love, get to taste them.

[zulashur]

Cider is like if beer transitioned and stopped hating herself

[nickyflowers]

they should make a soup that fixes everything. one sip and you are free. one slurp and it all makes sense

[abigailunderthemoon]

The comments and reblogs on this are all just people saying the soup that does this for them and I think that’s beautiful.

For me it’s my chicken soup. The lemon sets you free and the ginger makes it all make sense, but the parsnips are what centers you, if that matters.

[t00thpasteface]

the prime suspects in this case are gandalf the gray and gandalf the white and monty python and the holy grail's black knight and benito mussolini and the blue meanie and cowboy curtis and jambi the genie robocop the terminator captain kirk darth vader lo pan superman every single power ranger bill s preston and theodore logan spock the rock doc ock and hulk hogan

[raylangivins]

my dealer: got some straight gas. this strain is called “daylight savings time” youll be zonked out of your gourd

Me: yeah whatever. i dont feel shit.

1 hour and 5 minutes later: dude I swear it’s only been 5 minutes

my friend the oven, pacing: the smart devices are lying to us

[shiny-rhydon]

yeah sure i'll reblog that