avery-20-they/them

Just an english person shitposting and sometimes you get pictures of my cat

[perfectfeelings]

“They burned the bridge, then ask why I don’t visit.”

— Ugo Eze

[jellogram]

Did you guys ever see the car that got into an accident with a truck carrying hagfish

Can you even imagine being this person. Imagine you call your insurance and tell them you got in an accident. They ask what happened and you have to tell them your car got fucking hagfished

[garbage-empress]

Once again the government tries to conceal the existence of dragons from us.

[i-am-a-fish]

pro tip

ur friends don't hate you

nobody is secretly mad at you

you have anxiety and that's ok you are loved

[amotleycrew]

[teen sister in a 90’s movie voice] my pronouns are what/ever/major/loser now get out of my room

[ckret2]

[obnoxious younger brother voice] yeah mom, I told loser it's time for dinner. ... ow, quit it, I'm respecting your pronouns—

[i-am-a-fish]

HEY.

are you scrolling [tumblr] instead of sleeping?

idiot. clown. I cast sleepy spell on you. fuck you. sweet dreams ily

[i-am-a-fish]

alright cool. let me know how that strategy works out for you

[carpenters3]

[the-itchy-bitchy-spider]

[catgirlforeskin]

wait THAT’S why my wife always says “son boy allowed” about our cat??

[gayvampyr]

happy 5 years to son boy allowed

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Son boy is old enough to read the son boy allowed sign

[blacktwitterfunny]

[robotsandfrippary]

My uncle, who grew up a poor immigrant on a pig farm, became a heart surgeon and keeps marrying into wealth.  His third wife is from old money.  She’s very sweet and I do love her to death but she’s completely out of touch with anyone who is not born wealthy.  She told me “Oh you simply MUST rent a villa in Italy for a summer.  It’s so great.”      Bless my uncle, he just started laughing his ass off and said, “Joan, normal people don’t do that.” 

She was so confused.  

[cargopantsman]

Can “Joan, normal people don’t do that” be added to the “Harold, they’re lesbians” litany?

[cipheramnesia]

Seconded.

[perfectfeelings]

“I would choose five minutes with you over a lifetime with anyone else.”

— Beau Taplin

[zegalba]

Sushi Bedroom by Daisuke (2023)

[transmortifried]

[natalieironside]

If u want to write a story about a character that's just you but hotter with a dark twisted backstory and magical powers and a pet falcon or something, I think u should just go ahead and do that. Who's gonna stop you? The government?? Fuck the police.

[charlon-lumi]

What if someone barges in, points at said character and scream, “Mary Sue!”

[natalieironside]

Tell them to come back with a warrant

[charlon-lumi]

This post came across my dash again and now I am having an absolute blast with self insert hotter me that gets the girls and guys everywhere.

[natalieironside]

This is the Way

[brightchrysaor]

Reblogging because I am very pro-writing whatever the hell you want, even ”bad” things, and also because “tell them to come back with a warrant” BROKE ME

[mysticetus]

what is your favorite color

red

orange

yellow

green

blue

purple

pink

black

white

other

Voting ended onMay 14, 2023

im just curious about what is and isnt a common favorite color

[mysticetus]

i appreciate reblogs so i can get a lot if responses

[prideknights]

Introducing the Jack of Clubs, the genderfluid pride knight! The Pride Knights deck will be available for preorder this June! (2023) ⚔️🌈

[lantern-hill]

cats will be like oh you're walking somewhere? no WE'RE walking somewhere. and i will get there first. where is 'there' btw

[babbhad]

Just so we're all on the same page with the writer's strike.

If during the strike, it's announced about AI generated shows. We are not watching them. Not even out of curiosity. Let them fail every AI generated show they try make.

The human voice can not be replaced by AI. Don't let them try.

[leatherleaves]

A guest just came by my front desk and said “it’s my husband’s birthday today, make sure you say happy birthday when he comes down!” and I love it so much it reminds me of that post that’s like “if I was dating just some guy I would hype him up so much I would walk in and say here comes the most specialist boy make sure you clap and cheer when he comes in or I’ll blow this whole building up” you know that post, but it literally just happened to me in real life.

[leatherleaves]

Update: they just came back in from eating dinner at a local restaurant I recommended, and I asked the specialist boy in the world how his Special Birthday Dinner was and what he got to eat, and he began to gush about this lasagna he had, and in the background I saw the wife nod in approval that I had acknowledged her Most Specialist Boy’s birthday.

[misogynistcatgirl]

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

[greyerwardens]

[yurimom]

hey kids following me seriously don’t smoke…i know the commercials are fucking annoying but that doesn’t make it worth it and quitting is hard, i haven’t had a cig in like six months and i still get bad cravings and think about smoking every other day

[yurimom]

that includes vaping, ESPECIALLY cheap vapes you buy online from like e-bay. If you’re going to vape then get a good-quality one from a reputable source otherwise it can hurt you really badly. But don’t start a nicotine addiction if you don’t already have one. It’s really, really not worth it. I’m not going to use scare tactics or bash you or talk down to you if you already smoke or vape but it’s just some friendly advice.

[yurimom]

People are reblogging this with tags like “why would you have a nicotine addiction, idiots, its boring/only for edgy points, smoke weed instead” and that just so utterly misses the point of my post…I didn’t start smoking for “edgy points”, I started because I grew up around a family that smokes, I was stressed as hell, and just that first cig made me feel better in the moment. 

I get what you’re trying to say but you have to understand that there are kids who grow up on tobacco, there are kids who don’t know how else to cope, there are kids who think it’s a small way to rebel against someone who hasn’t treated them fairly. Most of these kids are in poverty or are seriously struggling. It’s not fair to label them as nothing but attention seeking morons.

This falls into the category of “making kids feel like shit for smoking” which you shouldn’t do. It only breeds resentment and kids don’t deserve to feel that way. 

[silverjirachi]

in full disclosure when i was at my worst mental health wise i debated starting to smoke every day exactly because i KNEW it was harmful and it would just bring me slowly closer to death

please, PLEASE take care of yourselves.

[looney-toons]

let me stress one more time: smoking is addiction. no matter what it is: tobacco, vape, weed - there are serious concequences to your health (and money), and it’s quite hard to stop doing it.

you don’t want to spend time smoking while you could spend doing something else, even if it’s nothing.

you don’t want to smoke in designated areas or outside, especially if weather is raging with all its might and its the only place you can smoke (not to mention the inevitable littering).

you don’t want to smoke in your home, where it can take awhile to vent it (and if you don’t, guess what - second hand smoking is still toxic for your health).

you don’t want to debate with yourself whether you should spend money on food or on smoking.

if you smoked for awhile, you must build the nerves of steel to resist doing again, and dark days will be waiting for you to fail.

there are people allergic to smoke - they can’t be around you when you smoke (hell, imagine if you’re one of them and you’re smoking).

it’s better to never start smoking - it’s easier and better choice in long run (and for every idiot that pressures you to start smoking - tell them to fuck themselves with whatever they smoke).

[puttingherinhistory]

Don’t start smoking unless you want to ruin every long flight or long train ride or anything where you’re forced to be inside for a long period of time and unable to smoke. Smoking makes these situations like long flights, train rides, or anything that makes you stuck inside for a while complete agony. Don’t start in the first place.

[brokenribs]

Trans kids please pay attention!

If you’re currently on HRT or planning to get surgery, smoking can be *especially* dangerous and may prevent you from receiving that care.

Smoking while taking feminizing hormones exponentially increases your risk of cancer. Why? Because your breast tissue (which is right above your lungs) is growing, which requires more oxygen & blood. If you’re smoking, that oxygen can contain carcinogens, which will now be stored in all that brand new tissue.

Smoking while on estrogen also increases the risk of blood clots & heart attack

Nicotine REDUCES the circulation of estrogen, so it can essentially nullify your hormones.

Being a smoker puts you at higher risk during surgery by minimizing circulation, which can lead to infection and even tissue death.

Tobacco companies *specifically* target the LGBT+ community (e.g. pride events, bars, etc) because they know we are 1. less likely to quit 2. face higher levels of stress 3. are less likely to have health insurance

Please know, I’m not sharing this information as scare tactic, but rather trans folks are often not given this information or have providers who aren’t aware of it.

You matter. Your body and health matters. We’re here for you ❤

[templepriest-motherfucker]

Smoking and vaping is fucking rampant among people with EDs so

[the-unicorniest]

was unaware of those last two bits. and to my followers, PLEASE don’t start. its totally not worth it. I come from a family of smokers and had my experiences with it too. not fun in the slightest and just ends badly if you let it continue.

[kachulein]

I want to add that the same two points about smoking while on estrogen also apply to people who use oral contraceptives (that contain estrogen) and smoke.