ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie
nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person
hello vonnie
cherry valley forever
Misplaced Lens Cap

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i don't do bad sauce passes
Show & Tell

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izzy's playlists!
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Discoholic 🪩

if i look back, i am lost
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@afunnyfish
ocd will have me thinking i cant text "here now if you wanna head over" because i sound like blowjob mario with a walkie talkie
nobody thinks this way, you are a broken person
i’m on onion rings right now
get me my keys NOW
*meeeting a friend for coffee* friend: how's work been?
me: oh you know *mimes putting a gun in my mouth but i moan a little and start sucking the barrel and pushing it deeper
everybody: you’ve got to advocate for yourself in medical settings!
medical professionals when a patient advocates for themselves in a medical setting (x100 if that patient is a part of any minority): damn. you’re a hypochondriac crazy bitch who has every mental illness and is seeking every narcotic in existence. that’s the only reason you’d be disappointed in the care you’re receiving here. in retaliation, we will be even less helpful and less sympathetic. our jobs are hard. people are dying. we don’t have time to deal with anyone who is slightly inconvenient for us.
girl wooga is hiring
"there are no jobs" wooga literally wants you to woog. for money.
am i defined by this image
clients across the world in all trades have access to smaller jpegs than you can even imagine
Before you are two magic buttons. Button A: you will never have to clean your kitchen again (dishes are automatically done; floor swept and mopped; etc). Button B: you will never have to clean your bathroom again (toilet & sink & tub/shower cleaned and sanitized; etc) Which button do you push?
A
B
I am a grown ass adult and I still get nausea when I feel like I'm in trouble. They're gonna send me to the principals office and take away my toys for a week. Can you just fucking kill me instead of making me stew in my fucking anxiety
Thought crimes of course aren’t real but uh. We know those aren’t just thoughts anymore once you’ve posted them publicly, yeah?
Then they’re just crimes.
sure, fictional crimes since nothing happened and no one was hurt. should we put the fictional handcuffs on? "sorry, you wrote about murder which is illegal, go spend 20 years in mind jail"
y'all make so much more fuss about shit in fanfiction than crimes in real life
Agatha Christie is serving 100,000 consecutive life sentences for all the murders
via @swatercolor [insta]
This is the best tag I've ever received on a post, I think
“are you mascpresenting or are you fempresenting nonbinary” “are you AFAB or are you AMAB” “are you transmasc or transfem” “are you on HRT or is that natural?” how about if you don’t stop asking me questions that boil down to “what’s in your pants” in woke speak i saw your balls clean off
I'm not a puppygirl or a catgirl. I'm a fish. and that is satisfyingly vague and abstract enough for me
i got that dog in me but it's poorly socialized and i don't take it on as many walks as i should