All Nerds Welcome @ahsokatanos-lightsabertechnique - Tumblr Blog

‘shane fell first!’ ‘ilya fell first!’ BZZT . INCORRECT . they tripped at the same time & bonked their heads together so hard that they mistook love at first sight for having a concussion .

#you know what you're right #the answer is “they're stupid” and that's okay #heated rivalry #shane hollander #ilya rozanov #hollanov

mercifulmother

– Animorphs: The Reunion, K.A. Applegate

herpsandbirds

Sly Crayfish (Procambarus versutus), family Cambaridae, Okaloosa County, Florida, USA

photographs by Seth Patterson

dduane

And now I’m left muttering: “Why is it sly? Who did it fool? Whose wallet did it make off with? Who did it sneak up on and pinch in the middle of the night…?”

transmortifried

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

charlesoberonn

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

anatomizer

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

worldheritagepostorganization

World Heritage Post

penny-anna

anyway sound off. at what stage do ppl think Han figured out the Force was real. the boring answer is after seeing Obi-wan vanish but i think he could rationalise that away as his eyes playing tricks on him. what do we think.

my-last-brain-cell-is-socrates

Let me demonstrate my answer for you:

That's it. That's my answer. Endor.

Please just take a look at Han's face right after witnessing 3po float. The man just had his entire worldview blown to smithereens.

whetstonefires

that's so funny. that means he accepted Vader deflecting a blaster bolt with his hand as just something freaky government cyborgs can do, and stuck by Luke for multiple years as he tried to figure this Force stuff out, and just treated it like your friend getting really really into neopaganism to cope with a loss.

like yeah kid good job with the witching. i'm certain it will be more useful against your enemies than your sharpshooting. no i do not think your witchcraft is supplementing your aim but i'm not gonna argue about it.

penny-anna

yeah Luke was like 'I heard Ben Kenobi's voice in my head telling me how to blow up the Death Star :)' and Han was like 'kind of an unusual coping mechanism but I'm not gonna argue with him'

davetheshady

thanks to carbonite han not only misses learning about luke's training montage on dagobah, he's also half-blind during their whole escape on tatooine. luke's out there force-kicking henchmen with his gucci boots and doing flips and shit and han can't see a goddamn thing. now on endor luke's yeeting threepio with the power of his mind and han's just like 'the last time we hung out i had to stuff him in a tauntaun sleeping bag'.

bogwitch-extraordinaire

@softness-and-shattering I hate you I hate you I hate you

cherryhatter-deactivated2015072

KICK THE CAN!

Let’s play the biggest game of kick the can on the internet.

To kick the can, reblog it. I wanna see how long this can go on for.

visibun

the oldest reblogs for this post that i can find are from january 2nd of 2013. this can has been getting kicked around tumblr for almost 13½ years now

drtanner

And yet somehow this is my first time kicking it!

ewtopia

all of my favorite episodes go like this

ominous-signs

Just saw this on Mastodon and immediately thought of this blog

Official ominous sign

judgejudyofficial

stop letting miserable people on the internet convince you that you must have a concrete, well-constructed opinion on everything that has ever existed.

supreme-leader-stoat

judgejudyofficial

everybody say thank you Marcus Aurelius

elodieunderglass

i don't WANT to drink water I WANT a bard to draft a eulogy for me to criticise!!!!!!!

elodieunderglass

I appreciate that people also liked this one

kushblazer666

flowercrownsylveon

rohirric-hunter

Ever since I got a job as a security guard I can’t take heist movies seriously anymore.

edgar-allan-possum

Why is that?

rohirric-hunter

Accurate heist movie: The Team is sneaking into a high security facility. An alarm is triggered, they freeze, prepared to knock out whoever responds to the alarm. It takes 40 minutes for someone to respond. When they finally do show up, they shuffle along, annoyed, arms full of 16 bags of pretzels for some reason, and reset the alarm without bothering to check their surroundings. They report that the alarm went off in error. Security control starts a fight about the correct designation of the door. The guard announces that they’re leaving the alarm key in the alarm because it’s always going off for no reason. No one challenges them on this. They shuffle away, leaving an alarm key and several bags of pretzels behind.

The Team knocks out a security guard and steals their radio. The team mimic can perfectly replicate the knocked out guard’s voice. They get caught because they pronounced the name of the company correctly.

The Team disables an alarm. The only way to do this is to rip it out of the wall and disassemble it until it physically can’t make noise anymore. This very loud process is clearly heard by the posted security guard nearby, who rolls their eyes and text their supervisor that the logistics contractors are fooling with the alarms again.

The Team breaks into the facility at night. There they meet a single security guard who is chanting potential names for NPCs in their DnD campaign out loud while they do their patrols. They encounter a fire extinguisher. They pause in their chanting to check that it is properly charged and to apply a sticker that reads, “Anal use only”. This guy is disgustingly good at their job. There’s no way around it, they’re going to catch you. And you’re going to have to deal with the fact that you’ve been had by someone who has a supply of stickers that say “Anal use only” and who unironically wanted to name their NPC shopkeep Mammogrammus.

The Team attempts to bribe a security guard. This is its own post but know there’s no way in hell that would work.

The Team breaks into the high security room and disables all the alarms. Security control sends several guards to investigate why there are no alarms going off.

The Team attempts to break into the high security room but can’t because it’s randomly decided not to let anyone at all in today.

The Team steals a keycard with “””””unlimited””””” access to the facility and gets caught because the computer system that manages keycards randomly revokes access for no reason.

The Team walks past a security guard in broad daylight wearing T-shirts that say, “We are here to rob you”. The security guard does nothing, having seen several people in logistics wearing that exact shirt two days prior.

lew-basnight

The Team abandons their high-tech high-concept plans and pull up to the front door in a battered van. Wearing blue jumpsuits or work clothes, they trudge into the lobby carrying bundles of cable and tools, and in a show of class solidarity the security guard just unlocks everything.

adventures-in-a-world-of-fiction

A story I once heard from a guy who specialised in security testing for IT. They had been hired to test out the security of the company, and one of the things they were testing was whether they could physically get secure data out of the building.

The guy walked in with a trolley with a wobbly wheel, loaded half a dozen computers onto the trolley so that they were unstable, and walked up to the main security door. At which point, the trolley wobbled and there was an avalanche of computers. The security guard helped him load the computers back onto the trolley and then held the door open for him as he walked out with six computers loaded with company secrets.

vodcar

country gnomes,

take my bones

cryptidfuckery

to a place,

they don't belong

annabellioncourt

see shit like this is the reason that it’s so hard to turn my back on this website. Where else, pray tell, are you going to find this kind of quality nonsense.