âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing?â
Peter didnât even look up from where he was staring at nothing. He didnât flinch at Tony speaking, almost like he knew he was there already. âWhiskey,â he said, casually.
Tony felt his blood begin to boil. âYeah kid, Iâm not blind. Do you mind telling me why the hell youâve decided to steal from me and then get shitfaced on my balcony at 4am? Especially when the last time you got shitfaced you promised to never do it again?â
Tony didnât even want to think about that party last week, lest he get himself even more worked up. 27 missed calls only to get a text back from someone else using Peterâs phone saying he was going to stay the night. May was beside herself, and though Tony played it cool, heâs not too proud to admit he was freaking out too.
âI wasnât shitfaced,â came the lame reply. Peter was looking at Tony now, defiance alight in his eyes as if he was ready for a fight. Tony could think of a million things heâd rather do than fight with his kid, but seeing Peter casually lift the bottle of whiskey to his lips and take another sip really had him seething.
âWhat, so you just ignored all of our calls and texts because you were perfectly sober?â He bit through his teeth. Peter met his eyes.
Tony pinched at the top of his nose, scrunching his eyes shut. âPeter, tipsy people donât-â
âI was tipsy,â Peter continued like nothing had been said, âand then I just wasnât anymore.â
Tony rolled his eyes. âYeah thatâs how getting shitfaced works,â he sighed.
âNo. I was tipsy,â and the eye contact was suddenly desperate. Tony allowed himself to fall into a crouch beside Peter if only to prevent the inevitable rise in volume that he could sense from a mile away. âI was barely tipsy and then I just, I couldnât see, or hear and I was moving but I didnât know where.â
Tony searched between the desperation in Peterâs eyes for something. He didnât know what, but whatever it was, he didnât find it. âPeter, give me the whiskey.â
âYou know itâs all lies?â Came the fast response.
Tony sighed and collapsed into a sitting position, resigned. âWhat is?â
âAll that bullshit in books and tv shows and stupid fucking movie scenes where they wake up and- and itâs always âit hit them like a ton of shitâ or whatever the fuck it says.â Tony couldnât suppress the raise of his eyebrows at the language change. Peter sounded angry.
âItâs always that it comes back to them âall at onceâ but it doesnât come back. It doesnât fucking come back no matter how hard I try.â
And he suddenly sounded desperate. Hysterical.
âItâs just gone. I didnât- I didnât wake up and not remember and then it âall came flooding backâ,â he spat the words with disgust. âNothing flooded back; itâs dryer than the fucking desert in there. Itâs- itâs like thereâs a crack in a house, right?â
Peter turned his body to face Tony, as if he was explaining something terribly simple and Tony just wasnât listening.
âOne of those really bad ones where you have to take out the whole wall just to fix it, except I donât know where it is so Iâm just hammering the wall mindlessly except what if there wasnât even a crack in the first place? What if the wall was fine and everything was fine and now my house has a fucking hole in it all because I was worried there might be a crack?â
Tony tried to ignore the tears sliding down Peterâs face and as he violently scrubbed them away with the back of his wrist.
âEven though I donât even remember there being a crack! Itâs like- like I left the house for the day, came back and- and I just thought that someone had like, thrown a stone or something at my wall except now thereâs a big, fuck-off hole in my house and-â he paused, taking a shaking breath before continuing much softer than before. âAnd I donât even know where this metaphor is going but I think I broke my house, you know?â
âPete-â and Tony didnât know what he was going to say because he didnât know. He honestly had no idea what it was that Peter was trying to say, but it was eating him alive and Tony was watching him fall apart.
âI didnât even know I could get drunk, you know? I thought- thought I was like Steve.â He huffs out a wet laugh as if heâd just said a joke. âTurns out it just takes bit more than normal but I- Iâm definitely drunk right now so- so maybe I was drunk then, too.â
And the way he said it, as if being drunk was the worst thing ever, made Tonyâs heart drop to the floor.
Something happened, and Tony was going to find out what.
âI think Iâm about to throw up.â
Right after he gets Peter a bucket.
This is now an AO3 one shot called âBreak Down the Wallâ by El1zabethJ