I have a Big Bad feeling about this...
lingering longing feeling that has been filling the empty space in my life where a Big Bad Wolf used to be. For 12 hours in each of the 17 days of what I thought would be a simple passion project about selling books, I lived a life filled with something much more. I lived a once in a lifetime experience, a Big Bad Wolf existence...
...of afternoons after work spent trying to catch some sleep half of the time, and the other half trying to make sure my team has enough sleep as well, but not too much to either be late or absent for duty ~ of a time in my life where I learned the uncanny skill of sleep-texting and living life on just 3-5 hours of sleep a day.
...of early evenings prior to driving to duty spent trying to wake myself up so as not to be late, while trying to find some treats for my team and for the night wolves, despite the heavy traffic or heavy eyelids ~ of a time in my life where I mastered the dangerous game of power napping in between traffic lights. (jk lto)
...of late nights before the shift spent with the original expectation of stealing a few winks of rest but ending up with the actual reality of talking to and spending time with the volunteers, my team, the TLs, even the management and the admin (worth it) ~ of a time in my life where I realized the value of your time, and the happiness in it, depends not in what you do, but in who you spend it with.
...of night shifts with the Big Bad Wolf himself spent not on selling books, but housekeeping and keeping: the house clean and clear, the islands free from strays, the customers happy and the volunteers o..K ~ of a time in my life where I saw the power of a smile and a simple “Hi, Hello, How are you? You can do it!” and I felt how nice it is to be nice, how good it is to do good, and to be good.
...of early mornings after the shift spent on overtime doing turnovers, making reports (incident one on day one), volunteering (in short, making apil apil) for the management and admin, and just hanging out with the night wolves ~ of a time in my life where I found that there always be an opportunity to do something more and to be better, we need only to look, to take that chance and go do it.
...of all of this, night in, day out, this cycle that has become my life. And now that the cycle is over, I have yet to stop twisting and turning ~ of my body clock still wound to the night of going and being in IC3, of my mental facilities still stuck to the routine of being on housekeeping call, of my wolfish heart still wishing for more time spent being with all of you. If nothing else, let this be the time I say ~
To Big Bad Wolf Books ~ thank you for making me understand that an advocacy is not for the lazy. It is for those who are a little bit crazy, crazy enough to pursue their passions, to follow their dreams, to stay and stay strong, even when things get a little crazy. Thank you for showing me that with a little bit of perspective and a whole lot of patience and perseverance, there are pursuits in life worth doing, that there are things worth giving, that there are people worth spending time with and staying up late for, and that there is a life worth living - this one.
To Gawad Kalinga ~ thank you for making me realize that a family is not only by blood or choice, but by circumstance. That no matter who we are, where we come from or where we are going in life, what we do or why we do it, what matters the most is that we are able to respect, trust and lean on each other. Because it is through the Lord where all good things are made possible, and it is through all of you that the Lord makes all of this possible. Thank you for showing me that volunteers do well and go far, because we go together, as one, for one.
To Admin, Management, TLs ~ thank you for making me see true leadership and service at work. Being in a similar position of responsibility to all of you made me realize that I am not alone in everything I went through, and no matter what I still have you. And being in a different scope of perspective made me realize that I have a place where I belong with all of you, just as I am (corny jokes and all). Thank you for showing me that when we become one, we can get things done.
To my beloved Keepers! ~ thank you for keeping me with you throughout this entire journey. Thank you for doing your best, or at least trying. hahahaha Thank you for staying true to me and to the team, despite all the work and responsibility I gave to all of us. I hope naibanan ra gamay sa mga candy, pagkaon and drinks na akong pang bribe ninu. I know I pushed you to your limits, and now that you have surpassed them, all I can say is that I told you that you can do it. I am so proud of all of you and I am happy to have been a keeper. You are all for keeps!
To all the volunteers ~ thank you for responding to my “Hi, Hello, How are you, You can do it!” randomness, and thank you for respecting my terribly corny jokes. I know I may have not been close to all of you, but I have been literally close when I passed by, so pwede na. hahahaha And to all those I have become close to, I hope the time I spent talking with you or hanging/eating out with you, showed my appreciation and admiration for you, and hopefully there’s more to come. Dapat naay next time kay kamu napd bangka! hahahaha
And so...at the end of this very lengthy and overly dramatic post to commemorate the end of the Big Bad Wolf sale and the beginning of a Bigger Badder Wolf Life, let me say thank you Lord and to all of you for everything. I came to the Big Bad Wolf sale for the love of books, I leave the Big Bad Wolf sale for the love of all of you. And I leave with a heavy heart, both for all of you having been in it and for not having been it for longer. I will miss all of you, but as long as I am here, I will be here for you. For the Big Bad Wolf Advocacy, for the Gawad Kalinga’s spirit of volunteerism and family, and for God’s greater glory.
This has been K, your resident wolf, signing off and signing awooout. :3