ACE ATTORNEY

If you really loved me you'd be okay with my room being messy.

[mamalazzer]

Seriously, though why is Gamora?

[panqake]

Chloe <3

[ladisputehh]

Please fucking kiss me I am so sad.

[helaas--pindakaas]

please... if you’re going to attempt to speak in “old” english

THOU is the subject (Thou art…) THEE is the object (I look at thee) THY is for words beginning in a consonant (Thy dog) THINE is for words beginning in a vowel (Thine eyes)

this has been a psa

[gehayi]

Also, because H was sometimes treated as a vowel when the grammar rules for thou/thee/thy/thine were formed,THINE can also be used for words beginning with H. For example, both “thy heart” and “thine heart” appear in Elizabethan poetry.

[veryrarelystable-deactivated201]

For consistency, however, if you’re saying “thine eyes”, make sure you also say “mine eyes” instead of “my eyes”.

Further to the PSA:

Thou/thee/thine is SINGULAR ONLY.

Verbs with “thou” end in -st or -est: thou canst, thou hast, thou dost, thou goest.  Exception: the verbs will, shall, are, and were, which add only -t: thou wilt, thou shalt, thou art, thou wert.

Only in the indicative, though – when saying how things are (“Thou hast a big nose”).  Not in the subjunctive, saying how things might be (“If thou go there…”) nor in the imperative, making instructions or requests (“Go thou there”).

The -eth or -th ending on verbs is EXACTLY EQUIVALENT TO THE -(e)s ENDING IN MODERN ENGLISH.

I go, thou goest, she goeth, we go, ye go, they go.

If you wouldn’t say “goes” in modern English, don’t say “goeth” in Shakespearean English.

“Goeth and getteth me a coffee” NO.  KILL IT WITH FIRE.

Usually with an imperative you put the pronoun immediately after the verb, at least once in the sentence (“Go thou” / “Go ye”).

YE is the subject (Ye are…).  YOU is the object.

Ye/you/your is both for PLURALS and for DEFERENCE, as vous in French.

There’s more, but that’ll do for now.

[theliteraryarchitect]

Oh wow. Reblogging for reference.

[out-of-character217]

author’s note on fanfic ch4: i’ll probably have it updated by the end of this week!

author’s note on fanfic ch5: so i know it’s been two years but i can explain

[m4ge-deactivated20210331]

i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream

[90stvqueen]

you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said “i have 5 kids”

[antidarkmattermaker]

I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said “I just don’t care”. We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again.

[anais-ninja-bitch]

new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks

[katjohnadams]

Actual conversation I had at register: “Hi, welcome to [Starbucks]! What can I get you, today?”

“How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?”

“I- I’m sorry?”

“A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?”

“Oh. uh. Well, it’d be I suppose… I only have a button for a Quad. I don’t have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single… drink.”

“Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many ‘add shots’ is that?”

*deep breath of fear* “It’d be a quad with,” *clears throat* “uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma’am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-”

“Taste means nothing to me.”

At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.

“Oh. Well, okay.” I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. “We can certainly get that for you! The price will be _____.”

She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.

“Do you still have the ‘Add Energy’ packets?”

My heart began to race at this request. “Yes ma’am.”

“How many can I add?”

Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. “For health reasons, we won’t add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually.”

“One then.”

I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was … not something to be spoken aloud.

My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. “No.”

The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, “Yes.”

My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena’s of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring. 

The barista was damn near shaking. This woman’s gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.

Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup.

Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.

When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about “The Company” as if we’d never l, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, 

“Yeah, I had one like that.”

[smartassjen]

Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book.

[thesadanon-deactivated20240815]

@peach-orange-juice

[betaslovelythings-deactivated20]

…I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream my manager had. Good lord.

[moshita-deactivated20180620]

[tinygaysouffle]

bUT SEX ED IN SCHOOL WILL CORRUPT THE CHILDREN IT’S OKAY THEIR PARENTS WILL TELL THEM

[homoluigi]

Im the parent putting doctor pepper in my kids bottle

[anancientheart]

ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.

[anancientheart]

whenever i post this it works  reblog if u want to feel good things & the universe will bring u something sweet 

[dailydoseofstarmie]

Today I serve you LOOKS

[icuckedhenrykissinger-deactivat]

this is a review of the cheesecake factory

[horsegirlkj]

it should be a review of columbus ohio 

[cincodemayonaisee]

WARNING: ANIMAL CRUELTY

Apparently people have been adopting dogs and either killing them themselves or dropping them to a kill shelter (and one even said they were flying them to poor Asian areas to be eaten) under the Twitter hashtag #pitbulldropoff

This is completely cruel and evil and word needs to get around about these demons so everyone knows what these demons are planning to do to dogs once they get ahold of them.

If you know someone or if you yourself is planning to give away a pitty by craigslist soon, DONT and wait for awhile!!!! They act like they’re going to adopt them and act all nice then they get rid of them, don’t be fooled!!

DM me for uncensored names!!!!!!!!

[cisnowflake]

Someone should tell these people I will fucking end them.

[blightout-deactivated20210117]

What the actual fuck?!? This is outrageous and disgusting!

[blightout-deactivated20210117]

BOOST THIS even if it doesn’t match your blog theme please

[yourlgbtfriends]

This may not be lbgt related but I couldn’t not reblog it to here. This blog is a platform that gives me a voice and I’m using it. Spread this. please.

[tiddlywynks]

The reason these “demons” are killing pitball puppies is because of how many children/babies pitbulls have killed

[blightout-deactivated20210117]

Every single breed of dog has the potential to kill. Every. Single. One. I have encountered far more violent dalmatians, chowchows, chihuahuas, and others compared to pitbulls. You are disgusting if you think the reported pitbull attacks can justify killing off an entire breed you vile excuse for a human being. 

I am a veterinary science major who has studied many breeds and their behaviors and other traits. You don’t think labs have killed kids? That goldens haven’t? Pitbull attacks are the ones that are showed to media the most, while other instances of breeds attacking is kept on the downlow because of the appearances and stigmas around the breed. The main reasons for pitbull attacks? Their owners. Either they were abused or were not kept inside. Many attacks by dogs are also energetic excited pooches wanting to play but not knowing their strength (it’s how my doberman has left me scratched up).

 I have been attacked by chow mixes, labs, collies, etc, but never a pitbull. I have a pit and she has only ever saved my life MULTIPLE times. You can’t justify the murder of an entire breed.

Killing a breed won’t save kids, responsible dog owners will.

[cincodemayonaisee]

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏^^^^^^^^

[you-wanna-fight-bro]

@blightout

Say it louder for the assholes in the back

[blightout-deactivated20210117]

KILLING A BREED WON’T SAVE KIDS, RESPONSIBLE DOG OWNERS WILL. 

[yourlgbtfriends]

Sorry, with the addition I made via my main blog I had to reblog this again

[rentalgoose]

This is so awful. I want to cry.

[dirtwif3]

Pitbulls are super sweet dogs! You can’t make a claim to a certain breed because of how people think they are. If you raise a dog correctly, they shouldn’t be violent. And any species of dog has the potential to kill.

[awildpaige]

Y'all wanna talk about breeds that attack you? Take a look at Jack Russels, Chihuahuas, Yorkshire Terriors etc. Little dogs that you wouldn’t think about. Do we put them down? No, because we understand that its the minority

The only reason people think pitbulls are vicious is because they used to be used to bait bulls or bears because they’re agile and strong (Don’t believe me? Google it) but even then they had to be trained to do so

Pitbulls can also be the most gentle dogs you’ll ever meet, the only issue with a pitbull is they will defend themselves (like any other animal would when threatened) but they have really strong jaws and quick reflexes so when they do the attacker will be the one hurt

Literally any dog can attack you, kill you, whatever if they’re treated poorly or they’re having a bad day and you get on their wrong side because they’re dogs which are animals

Pitbulls are wrongfully demonized and this behaviour is disgusting

[d3thom3n]

Why do people think that they can do this AND POST ABOUT IT ON TWITTER???? If anyone can identify the people who posted this shit, or anyone who used and follows the #, they can be reported to the police for animal abuse/mistreatment. I know I sound like a little kid complaining, but for real, this is unacceptable.

[ambulancelivedebut]

gomez and morticia addams are the only straight rich couple i trust everyone else is on thin fucking ice

[glitter6ug-deactivated20190325]

bold and incorrect of you to assume either gomez or morticia is straight

[melonatures]

you: excessive and incorrect use of commas

me—an intellectual: excessive and incorrect use of m dashes

[dearincrediblesweetness]

me, a pseudo-intellectual: both, if at all possible—and it’s always possible

[alistairsdalishbitch]

WOW

IVE BEEN GONe FOREVER AGAIN.

[dareactions]

Companions reacting to the Warden getting stabbed and saying "rude"?

Alistair: They’re not wrong, Alistair agrees that the Darkspawn stabbing the warden, was indeed extremely rude. He can’t help but break into laughter afterwards, patting the warden on the shoulder and commenting on how it reminds him of some odd childhood memory.

Morrigan: It’s not exactly a way to say hello in any culture to stab someone, so she can’t disagree with the statement- however she groans in annoyance on the sarcastic quip and waves the Warden off. They just had to do it didn’t they? They can’t go one battle without sarcasm!

Zevran: ‘’Indeed, maybe we should request a fruitbasket the next time?’’ Zevran adores these moments, the quips are just his style and he is heard laughing as he cuts through enemies and the scene takes place. If only he didn’t have to bring the warden to a healer; maybe things would be a lot more funnier!

Leliana: She doesn’t find it nearly as funny, but she can’t really disagree. If the warden tries to make any quips while being healed she can’t help but join Morrigan in the face-palming club, seriously- you’re bleeding! You were stabbed! stop!

Sten: He doesn’t really get it, honestly most of the time the Wardens useless comments just flies over his head an he ignores them, this is no different. He can be heard grunting in annoyance though.

Oghren: Cheers on that, he can’t help but laugh at the obvious comment and afterwards he will state that the Warden should just open a school to teach darkspawn manners; who knows there may be a business in that as well!

Wynne: She sighs as she heals the warden, reminding them that instead of focusing on being obvious- they should focus on not getting stabbed the next time. She will admit the comment was out of place and sort of funny actually; however her point still stands.

Shale: Honestly, the person or darkspawn that stabbed the warden is crushed by a damn rock before the hero has time to even utter rude in this case, and if they do Shale will question just what part of their actions were rude.

[fuckyahumor]

disney: attractions to appeal to your nostalgia or flaunt our licensed properties

universal: attractions designed to immerse you in our movies

six flags: do you wanna just barely cheat death?? here’s a 100000 ft roller coaster that goes faster than light

[gundambarbatos]

Black Friday is over and my manager slapped me with $10,000

[jui-ci-fer]

reblog the money gamestop to get beat over the head with cash