Topic: Irrelevant @alterniantenor - Tumblr Blog

new to tumblr?

found yourself getting blocked for seemingly no reason?

does your profile look like this:

you're getting blocked because people think you're a bot

do yourself a favour and change your profile images to literally anything except the defaults. give your blog a name, give yourself a bio even if it simply says "new, figuring this out" or something. please, just do ANYTHING that shows everyone you're a human. then you wont get blocked anymore and you'll have a lot more fun here!

oh and while we're here, another hot tip: reblog things. likes do nothing here, there's no algorithm

okay happy tumblring tumblrinos, tumblrinas and tumblrinehs!

babycatlix

i think the post may be exploding bc someone pointed out that new users can't change their profile pic until they follow at least 3 ppl...???

IF that is the case, regardless if you are or are not following at least 3 ppl, that shouldn't stop you from making a post, like bee said, that says "new here, still figuring everything out!" we don't WANT to block actual ppl who are trying to get into tumblr and figure out how this site works, we just want to block bots.

jaubaius

How to surreptitiously stretch within reach of kisses

yay-bunnies-world

oh i feel so low… if there was only a tutorial for a bunny like me to learn how to surreptitiously stretch within reach of kisses

stahsm

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

thatisuseful

Damn, that's useful

fluidstatick

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

watsdaughter

tags by @gallusrostromegalus

teaboot

OH HELL THE FUCK YES

hppjmxrgosg

"going out to get milk" is a common turn of phrase used to describe a man abandoning his family.

the "milkman" is a common figure in stories depicting a woman's infidelity and adulterous affair.

this implies that the ability to provide milk would both decrease the likelihood of a man abandoning his wife and children, as it would eliminate the need for leaving to get milk AND would secure that man's marriage, as his wife would have no need to seek milk from an extraneous source.

therefore, all men should produce milk, through various means such as:

- being a cow

- being an almond

- being a woman

- being a coconut

- being in the omegaverse

- being an oat

(list is exemplary and not finite)

in this essay, i will redefine the nuclear family and explain the seductive and inflammatory nature of the 1993 "Got Milk?" commercials.

hppjmxrgosg

you shut your mouth.

sunderedstar

just rewatched Jupiter Ascending and sorry not sorry that movie holds up actually. "technically speaking I'm an alien. and from the perspective of immigration, an illegal one" "luckily for you a woman owns this car /slaps a pad from the glove compartment on a bleeding wound/", harvesting eggs vs harvesting people for live-forever juice as a metaphor for capitalist exploitation, "the human beings on your planet are merely a resource waiting to be converted into capital." the aesthetic, the fashion, the CGI, the "I love dogs, I've always loved dogs." sean bean is there. literally this movie could not go harder.

depsidase

anthonycolonthree

(guy who's not getting anything done voice) I need to learn every skill and all information

prettyponyprincess-prancespiety

This deserves not to rot on a Reddit comment section

sirakitz

a liar until the very end

#tadc spoilers

halfbaked-alchemist

nebulations

[ID: A Fullmetal Alchemist screencap of Ed punching Hohenheim in the face, captioned “Happy Father’s Day.” End ID]

stahsm

Overlock Stitch by @clothes_reetzy

thatisuseful

Damn, that's useful

fluidstatick

Finally a hand sewing tutorial on a hemline that isn't just the ladder stitch! the ladder stitch disappears when you tighten it, but it's not meant for hemlines because it breaks really easily! The overlock stitch is more stable, so it holds much longer, and it won't pucker or warp the fabric!

teaboot

I just want everyone to eat well and get old

teaboot

every single one of us should have the chance to get old and bald and wrinkly and fat. I mean that sincerely

plaguedocboi

I remember when I was younger, anytime I watched a movie where the characters have to kill a scary monster/alien, I always thought the act of killing it was intended to be part of the horror. Like there’s this amazing creature that we’ve never seen before, and maybe under different circumstances we could’ve coexisted with it, but it’s trying to attack you and you have to defend yourself, but by destroying it you also destroy the ability to ever understand it and that’s sad and is supposed to make you feel conflicted.

It was not until well into my adulthood that I realized most people do not have complicated feelings about movies where people have to kill a scary alien monster, nor is that necessarily meant to be part of the narrative (unless it very obviously is). They just want the scary thing to die because it’s scary. I don’t have a real conclusion to this I just started thinking about it for some reason.

fox-bright

hi any life advice for 21yo

Don't date thirty-year-olds until you are at least 25.

Having a glass of water for every glass of alcohol will give you a 50% reduction in hangover viciousness.

Bad people will use your willingness to be quiet as a weapon against you. If someone's being awful to you and trusting you'll be quiet to keep from making waves, surprise them.

There is no physical object in the world that is worth as much as your honor.

Honor is not the same as dignity. Retaining one sometimes means leaving the other aside.

Don't have any sex you don't want to have; have as much as you want of the sex that you do, whether that's a lot, a little, or none at all. Nothing you can do to your own body is immoral, unless you're doing it as an act of self-punishment.

Food is morally neutral. You do not have to earn the right to eat calories. Fat and sugar keep your brain from eating itself.

Learning to sit still and breathe--in, in, in, hold, hold, hold, out, out, out, out, out, out--can give you five feet of clear space around yourself in a maelstrom.

Find out how to make three good meals: A comfort meal you can make for just yourself relatively easily, a fancy meal you can use to wow a date, and a meal you can feed a bunch of people. All the other cooking can come later, but you can build a community on those three meals.

If you ever get to the point that things are so bleak you can see no other way forward but to die, make any other choice. If that means leaving everything you own and being a beach bum, or quitting your career, or taking up or leaving a religion, or deciding to bicycle across the country, so be it; living means more chances, dying means everything stops and you don't get to see any more interesting things. As you have not yet seen all the things that can interest you, it is better to live.

wileycap

Imagine you're a big wrestling fan. You follow this one really dominant wrestler and you absolutely love her. You keep up with all the drama and you're super invested until one week there's just Bomb after Bomb.

First your fave dominates an event - duh, obviously, she's the best. Then during the part of the show where the announcer is like "anybody in the audience want to challenge her for a fat stack of cash", somebody actually does. (Obviously a tourist.) It's some kid wearing like a beginner outfit from a McDojo... and he actually wins?And gets the cash! And then the event just ends!?

You're buzzing. It's clear that this is like a storyline or something. You can't wait for next week's show. Except that there isn't one, because - as you find out through the gossip mill - your fave was actually the local billionaires' daughter who was competing in secret. And also kayfabe might not exist. And now she's gone and the billionaire is blaming a demigod (who's back from the dead? I guess?) for kidnapping her.

So, how come that means no show this week or possibly ever? Well, the billionaire hired the promoter (and a random McDojo sensei) to go after the demigod to get back his daughter (your fave wrestler!) and the guy just... packed up his entire promotion and left.

Some months later the war that's been going on since your great-grandfathers days ends. You go to a peace parade. And there she is: Toph Beifong, the Blind Bandit, giving the new Fire Lord a noogie.

Insane fucking storyline.