Manduro

I want to connect with people, text me if you want to talk :3. Age: Generation Z Blogs: I write poetry, share random thoughts, pick up essential questions, do photography and photo collages and memes. WELCOME <33

[ammanduro]

Sleep

Sleeping is actually so cool and so weird if you think about (I did…).

Like, it’s universal, literally everyone does it. That’s unquestionable. And a funny little thought.

Like, your neighbor, your bully, your president or King or Queen, the world richest man and the worlds poorest man, literally everyone share this universal activity; Sleep

;Curling up with closed eyes, resting like a little baby.

Idk that’s just a little funny to me.

[ammanduro]

Aging and growing.

As we age and evolve and the world and people around us change, we might get confused about ourselves. And we might even think we’re completely out of our usual selves.

But we will start to feel like ourselves again. I’m sure of it. It starts with ourselves, and it ends with ourselves.

Be aware that growing up, doesn’t always mean we have let go of old traits. It just means we grow so there’s space to add more good traits and values to ourselves, so we can contain more and be more.

Hold onto what you care about and believe in.

(Caring in general is very cool btw)

[ammanduro]

[ammanduro]

“I don’t know what I saw in him/her”, people say.

Really? The thing is, I remember quite distinctly why and what I liked about you. Every. Single . Thing.

I can recall in details how it felt when you made me laugh. And I’m certain of the beauty of every curve forming your face.

I don’t doubt for a second why I thought you were a beautiful person.

(Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in love with you anymore. And you will never get to know I ever was. My feelings, belong to me. Even them concerning others. Especially those concerning you.

I’m egotistical about that)

- An unsent letter by me.

[ammanduro]

Self explanatory:

[ammanduro]

There’s an awful lot of doves, those creatures symbolizing peace, residing on the roof of my house. Why are they all here? Shouldn’t they be out in the world, representing peace? Or I wonder if there is no peace out there for them to represent.

(The picture is taken from Pinterest, and then slightly edited)

[ammanduro]

I’m afraid there’s no more excuses

Workout motivation:

Study motivation:

[ammanduro]

When do we need to let go of things that are hurting us? What is the limit?

The limit to when the lows are not worth the highs and you need to exclude the whole connection to the person/group?

And by cutting the connection with the person/group, it doesn’t exist anymore to you. At least not actively exists as something in your reach, that can damage you. That’s the point of cutting connection with something if it is damaging to you; so it can’t damage you anymore, but the downside is it also can’t bring you joy.

In connections like family, friendships, relationships and etc. Those can give us so much happiness, but also so cause us so much pain. And the tricky part is, when it’s not the entire person themself that is toxic and toxic against you, but more as if their toxin hits in unpredictable waves. (Sorta like mood swings, I guess)

And in between those random outbursts of rage/scorning/humiliation or whatever it is we have to deal with from the other person/group, in between those moments that are damaging us, are enjoyable times and happiness. We can try and “fix” the person (like the “I can fix him/her” complex), if you want to take that responsibility But if we fail at that, and have to admit we cannot change this person, they are too deep into their habits, they don’t wish to change themselves, then, as I see it we are left with to choices; Take the bad with the good, or cut them off and therefore freeing yourself from having to deal with the bad, but you also kinda rob yourself from the good. And you can have literal FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) about that; Fear of missing out on the good times with that person.

And that’s the question. If it brings you both joy but also pain, where should we draw the line? I guess everyone has to make that up with themselves.

That’s the tricky part, and I’d love to get your opinions about it!

(Also, I apologize if the constant switching between “us” and “you” in my text is confusing. I might need to be more aware of that ^-^ )

[ammanduro]

A lil digital drawing I made. If you’re not in a relationship, and feel like you crave a boyfriend or girlfriend, I want you to consider this: Consider if you really want a boyfriend/girlfriend or if you really just want to prove to others (especially the people that did you wrong) and yourself that you can be loved and are worthy of it. If the last thing is the case, keep your head up :) I think we often might be more worth than the people around us treat us. It’s just that they’re busy with their own life, and they have things going on and they might not notice how wonderful you are. But you still need to be aware of that yourself.

[ammanduro]

“You’re overreacting”.

Who are you to tell me the weight of the pain I’m feeling?

[ammanduro]

A short excerpt from some rant I stumbled across in my notes app. I wrote it some time ago. I wanted to share this lil part of the text in case anyone could relate, I think in many different cases this can appear to us:

Finding ourselves in a situation we recognize as something similar we have experienced before. (I’m not talking about the feeling Deja vu, but about really having been in a similar situation).

And recognizing this, being certain of what’s coming next, we might debate with ourselves if the highs were worth the lows; if the rise was worth the fall.

(That’s what I did at least, lol)

[ammanduro]

Oh the never ending simping an ridiculously amount for the introverted, slightly socially awkward, completely sleep starved (and probably touch starved),

fictional geniuses.

(Found some parallel pictures between our favorite sleep starved, pretty-princess, geniuses)

[ammanduro]

Gotta hate when people you’ve trusted your secrets to, leaves your life. Even if you don’t necessarily leave on bad terms (though that is worse) but just the feeling of “you don’t deserve to know these things about me anymore” ( and I want you to give it all back or forget all about it) But you can’t take it back. It’s a part of yourself you have given to them and now it’s theirs and completely out of your own hands. I don’t know, I feel like it’s a weird feeling of loss and discomfort.

In the end, maybe, it’s not that deep, because we grow and evolve and those things might not even be true about us anymore. But still.

The fact that you can’t really take it back.

It’s always like that with words; once you said something, you can’t take it back.

[ammanduro]

A little something I made ( ^ω^ )

[ammanduro]

Does anybody else feel like they have no passion? Or too many, that are too weak?

Like, I love the idea of dedicating my whole life to something, to be good at something.

For example iceskating, training everyday to do amazing and beautiful things on the ice that took a lot of practice and dedication. Or become a composer, and write beautiful music pieces, that took a lot of time and dedication. Or dedicate my life to astronomy, investigating in space and all its wonders and become very smart on the subject after dedicating a lot of hours to study it. Dedicate dedicate dedicate!

But to be able to spend your whole life doing something, and achieving something great within that subject, the determination and persistence it requires, surely you must be very passionate about it.

I might just have a bunch of different hobbies, but I think I want to do a little of all of them, and not only one of them all the time.

How does one find a passion? And the right one?Do I just pick one out of the many things I like, and say “okay that’s what I’m gonna do, no matter what I’ll stay persistent with this”? I might never be really great at it, if I deep down don’t want to do anything to pursue it.

Then do I just wander around, trying a bunch of different things and hope with one of them I’ will have a great vison and something inside me will click and I’ll just know that that’s my life’s purpose? But what if it never clicks? What if I waste my time wandering around while everybody else settles down and becomes great at something and I haven’t even started anything because I have no idea what I want to do?

I’m wondering, is it okay to be passionate just about life?

[ammanduro]

I’m actually pissed that loving isn’t a job. Or a competitive activity/hobby (no, the love I’m thinking about isn’t a job or hobby). Because to love, to be soft and admirer and support and help, it takes energy and effort to. I know that when you think about it love can’t be measured and therefore no way you can create a job for it (and again, I’m not talking about prostitution). But we can engage in love and practice it, by that I mean being kind, helpful, caring for people, (or animals or plants). And some people can be damn good at loving. But they probably don’t get enough credit for it. Even though it is a skill. Or is it just an instinct? I mean, ‘sociopaths’ is a term used for people who shows no shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the feeling of others. That probably includes not being interested in showing love. Most people, do show at least a little love and affection in one way or another. To family, and partners, at least, and those two are animalistic instincts I guess. Not a skill. But those who are showing love a little beyond the obvious and expected. Those who were taught to help old people across the streets, for example. Those who are consistently determined to spread love around them, where they can reach. And it can be hard, because literally the entire world is your battlefield and workplace at the same time. But you still need to be good at something beyond loving (sadly), to participate in activities and get jobs. Because being loving isn’t a job. Which is reasonable… but still.

[ammanduro]

Wait how do you spell the word for attractive/pretty that begins with ge?

I’ve been trying for 5 minutes now o_o. It sounds like George’s, but it means really pretty/beautiful/stunning. I need heeeellpppp