the world will end

hearing the voices

[critterconscious]

MOST BASS ARE JUST FISH BUT LEROY BROWN WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL

[ofishal-fish-posts]

official fish post

[throathole]

[bace-jeleren]

Accidentally wound up on "hear me out cake" tiktok, and I swear, if another one of these bitches puts down an at-most-unconventionally-attractive human man, Lady Dimitrescu or Nick Wilde/Robin Hood I am going to lose my fucking mind.

Saw one where the first person they named was Disney's Aladdin and I tapped out so hard I entered a fugue state and didn't regain full consciousness for like a solid hour.

[bace-jeleren]

Girlies giggling and gasping because they said their 'hear me out' was Gill from Finding Nemo, like

I'm so sorry, babygirl, but that's a hot fish. I know you thought you were being so controversial, but that is one of the most fuckable cartoon fish in existence. This is weaksauce.

[trans-rites]

[shining-dawn]

[shittymoviedetails]

In The Departed (2006), Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg play two different characters— a subtle nod to them being two different actors, despite my wife being unable to tell them apart on the first viewing of the movie.

[dunsalien]

op this is the funniest post you’ve made yet

[striders]

i hate it when customers get mad about policy and go “well i’ve always thought it worked differently” like ok. when i was a kid i thought the drains in sinks and bathtubs lead to Hell and i would pour things down them for the dead people. it turns out that you can think things that aren’t true

[evilvillain123456789]

im an abbot and tbh if i dont vibe with one of my monks i call the vatican and tell them he's tempting the other monks to most profane and unnatural couplings and they just take him back and send a new one no questions asked

[italo-disco-calvino]

papa keeps those for himself

[evilvillain123456789]

papa keeps those for himself

[afloweroutofstone]

Bro what

[cryptid-sighting]

I am average American man, I give up dreams of astronaut and work fifteen hours in hog farm to buy one hamburger restaurant

[everydaywilmer]

⚾ (fayewebster)

[sarpedon]

"i have the right of way" was a form of protective charm uttered by urban travellers in the early 21st century. They believed this phrase acted as a ward against danger and injury, invoking the divine spirit of 'Traffic Law', one of their primary deities.

[wifegideonnav]

[deepinourengines]

im pregnant and its nobodys. it aint even mine

[toskarin]

biden reportedly achieves "hyperlucidity" during debate, sees it all

[toskarin]

BIDEN: listen here jack, I'm not saying there's no god. that's, ah, that's not what I'm saying. what I'm saying is that there's an evil god and it woke up first, and we mistook its malignant presence for divine radiance, crawling towards it on our stomachs, man

TRUMP: folks are you hearing this guy

[toskarin]

[BIDEN TURNS TOWARDS THE CAMERA]

BIDEN: we've been burying them wrong

[seathiing]

Every time I remember this I laugh so hard I cry

[tpwrtrmnky]

tumblr exclusive

[sapphling]

god these violent delights are fucking AWESOME lol. having a great time. btw does anybody know what we're doing after this

[mementomoriiv]

Angie Wang - The Pony Express Delivers Its Apologies

[bunniope]

the real problem with necromancy is all of these necromancers are pursuing immortality instead of dying so all the good necromancer names are taken for like centuries at a time. the other day i met a guy who called himself skull james

[blackpyrefly]

cower before the might of femur frank 🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴🦴

[bunniope]

fuck off femur frank your bone magic sucks shit and we all know it