Come On, Make It Easy, Say I Never Mattered... @and-when-your-stitch-comes-loose - Tumblr Blog

the-ace-up-y0ur-sleeve

qwahaxahn

average Alanna problem: this boy is being real stupid right now

average Daine problem: the forest 😐

average Kel problem: They Are Killing The Children

average Beka problem: the bribe money is barely making rent

iguessweallcrazyithinktho

joshpeck

obsessed

captoring

tanoraqui

Neal Protectorofthesmall is great because it's like he accidentally wandered into Kel's Low Fantasy Tortall from the High Fantasy Tortall of the SotL & Immortals books. Nealan of Queenscove, eldest (remaining) son and heir of Duke Baird of Queenscove, a house which for generations has offered the crown more knights than almost any other. One of the oldest pages/squires/knights in Tortallan history because he was attending university before his two knighted elder brothers were both slain in the Immortals War, and now he's determined to carry on their memory and his family's legacy in their place. He has piercing green eyes, the same emerald color as his powerful magical healing Gift. He falls in love gets engaged to a close friend of the queen-to-be. He's literally Alanna's squire! How did he get here??

(A stubborn ten-year-old gave him the best lecture on chivalry he'd ever heard, so he decided to be her best friend/sarcasm translator/good right hand for the rest of their lives, that's how.)

buqbite

sometimes i feel ive got to

‎

‎

run away

is this anything

datasoong47

and-when-your-stitch-comes-loose

@cristifa

chimaerakitten

While I love all types of female fantasy protagonists, every time I encounter one who (in notable contrast to male characters around her) is only useful in a fight because of nonphysical magic superpowers, I pause for a moment to appreciate Kel, who manages to be a protagonist in an insane monsters-and-magic-filled fantasy world purely on the strengths of

1. Being 6’6”

2. Bringing a giant fuckoff Japanese polearm to every sword fight.

dragon-in-a-fez

thinking about the time some terf dipshit on twitter said "you weirdos will be saying TREES are a social construct next" and I got nerdsniped and waded in like "trees ARE a social construct. there is no fundamental binary characteristic that separates trees from other plants" and well, I'll spare you the details but the conversation ended with the dipshit yelling "PALM TREES HAVE WOOD" which is hilarious because "wood" actually does have a pretty unambiguous, binary definition and palms in fact do not qualify

acegender

explain your gender in 10 words or less without using boring words like “male”, “female”, “nonbinary”, “masculine”, “feminine” or “androgynous”.

go!

#Audrey Hepburn Miss Frizzle plus Patrick Stump

fruitless-vain

Gay Puppy Gay Puppy Gay Puppy

fruitless-vain

I’m sure this will get buried but for the sake of answering all your FAQs

- they’re Opawz pet specific dyes. Non toxic made specifically for dogs. Once they’re set and rinsed they can groom themselves normally, they pose no danger to her in any way, no fumes, there’s no bleach involved

- my dog is trained with cooperative care skills, the process is not stressful for her, she gets paid heavily for her cooperation and looks forwards to the opportunity to earn extra snacks with the grooming

- she’s a mini American shepherd, her name is Yoshi

Had to have a conversation re wearing underwear to bed with our lovely young man, aged 9.

“Why” he asks.

“Because I can see ya willy bouncing around (through ya pants) and i don’t wanna!!”

He proceeds to run up the stairs cackling.

#he put his underwear on thank goodness #there are other reasons #but this was easier to explain

cloevr

and-when-your-stitch-comes-loose

Are those cinnamon sticks?

horce-divorce

"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

#Kitty #for kadin

musicofthe-ainur

Am I the only person who thought this was really fucking funny

eleemosynecdoche

A lot of the really funny moments in Lord of the Rings come from Tolkien playing with language like this, where we have relatively formal, archaic, “high” language responded to with informal, modern, “low” language.