_angelite_707

[angelite707]

doing the ana shît again :)

So.... It's 3 days left until school starts again lol, and I just thrifted the cutessssttttt pair of 2000s jeans, and that basically gave me the motivation to lose weight again...

AND ALSO THE FACT THAT I'M F-ING 50KG AGAIN T-T (I think that would be about 110 lbs, which doesn't sound like a lotttt BUT I'm also short af :(

So here are my stats so far:

hw: 54 kg lw: 42 kg cw: 50 kg (~110 lbs) gw: 45 kg (~100 lbs) ugw: 40 kg (~90 lbs)

fyi, 40 kg is technically still an okayish weight for my height, it's barely umderweight. For this reason I think I will only do low to mid restriction (I need to be able to concentrate in school).

My expenditure is about 1400 cals per day, so my maximum will be 1200 cals. I will try to only eat 900-1000 cals per day though, to get the weightloss started with (I will probably lower my limit later on again).

Even though this is low restriction, I do not encourage this for anybody. Your body needs fuel, and most of the time about 1200 cals to even function.

I'm just the exeption for myself, because I'm depressed and want to feel like I can control something in my life :P

Also tips are welcome, but no meanspo. Block, don't report.

ty for reading <3

DNI...

...if you're 20+ years old.

...if you're under 14 years old.

...if you're a creep.

...if you're against recovery (for other people).

...if you genuinelly think that you're better than normal- or overweight people. Grow up omg.

If you don't fall into any DNI categories (esp. if you're a girlieee or lgbtq+), you're allowed to text me, I'd love to chat and make new friends^^

[angelite707]

fuckkkkkk I just ate 1000 cals in one meal💀

like, I didn't even noticeeee

now I can't eat dinner🥲

[bobbyfruitman]

Kel tries to confess

[shazleen]

PINK GIRL X GOTH GIRL A zine about the femme/femme dynamic we see all across pop culture. ->Available on my shop (both physical and PDF)

[angelite707]

am I too sensitive?

We just had to do improv theatre with the teen group, and as like an introduction game we had to interview each other in pairs. I got teamed up with a guy who seemed pretty nice. After the interviews we had to introduce ourselves as the other person, so he had to introduce himself as Blue and say the information I had just told him, and vice versa.

So I went first, and did the introduction thing, and then everybody started laughing, and only then I realised that what he'd told me was complete bullshit. Great :/ So he was up next. For context, I would say that I always am very friendly with everyone and I smile a lot and like to give compliments and everything. So he imitated that, but like not in an accurate way, but in a way that was definitively mocking my behaviour and making fun of me being "naive". And everyone was laughing, it was so embarassing. And like, no one even cared. Even the girl who was nice to me, she just didn't give a fuck.

And again, I have no clue if I'm just to sensitive, but it still hurts so much. I should've noticed earlier that he was bullshitting me. I mean, now that I think back, he was smiling the entire time while interviewing me, but it was such a fake smile. He was just mimicking me the entire time. I hate this so much. Like, why can't I just be "cool". Why do I need to be the most naive and emotional person to ever exist, I hate my life sm. And stuff like this always happens to me. Like since I'm about 6 up until now, I'm always the "weird kid", I'm alwas the one being bullied and I hate it so much. Like, I'm not even a mean person. I'm not ugly, I'm not dumb, I'm not ignorant,... I literally see no valid reason why someone would feel the need to tease me. They just do it because they know they can and that it gets to me, and hurts me.

I hate boys even more now. Why are 80% of the guys I know absolute d*ckheads?

It's not like I can become a different person overnight though, so I guess I just have to endure this.

[angelite707]

uuhhhh

idk broskies, but how do I know if I'm nonbinary... like yeah basically that T-T

Like, how do you even feel a gender? I just live as a girl, because I was born and raised that way, and through that I relate to typically "female experiences". But like... how tf do you feel like a certain gender? I mean, I feel like I have gender but idk what it is, I don't feel anything "absent" iykwim...

Also btw I don't get dysphoria about my body anymore (I used to). Now it's like more about my personality ig...?

Also... I'm not confident with my style and looks, so I'm scared that I just don't feel "as much girl as the other girls", because I'm not stereotypically attraktive... :(

anywaysssss bye T-T

✨le edit✨ I have no clueee what pronouns I like. I just know that I like binary-ish ones, so no nounself/numberself etc. pronouns. I also don't like it/its. I normally would say just any binary pronouns (ig...? like she/they/he), but my stupid native language doesn't have nonbinary pronouns👍 So I probably do have to use some neopronouns T-T

[angelite707]

how do I softlaunch the idea that I might be autistic to my therapist?

...yeah basically that. I've thought that I might be autistic for years now, and my parents and teachers also think so :/

But so far I'm only diagnosed with depression

[angelite707]

meow meow meow

[angelite707]

feeling insecure as a masc + alternative bi girl

So, something kind of crazy happened today. My classmate hosted a party and the entire class was there. And I was just talking to the "clean girl" (pretty much just the popular girls in my class) and suddenly like half of them outed themselves as lesbians. One of them was also my crush, which is great of course lol, but it kinda made me spiral into some stupid thoughts.

Because she has so many options actually, and I mean all the other girls are sooo gorgeous too, and they're kind and smart and popular.... And I kind of feel like I don't have a chance with anyone :(

There's also this stupid thought in my head, that as a masc presenting girl I'm somehow not better than men (which isn't true!!! I would NEVER wish harm upon a woman and treat them like shit), and also that they probably think that I'm gross and unstylish (I have more of a grungey style) and everything.

So yeah, of course I'm exited that my crush is a lesbian, but I also feel kind of unlovable now??

[cogniris]

✶⠀OMORI TUMBLR LAYOUT

@editfight ATTACK :⠀“ @castodust ”⠀︵⏜

⠀⠀      ›⠀ reblog⠀&⠀like to use﹗

points: [ 5 (base) + 4 (banner) + 5 (icons) + 6 (web graphics) + 4 (dividers) + 1 (revenge) = 24 i believe ]

taglist :⠀ @doublewammy @cyupidkisswr @sigelkissed @debuffplayerr @/castodust @xxangelicrosemixx @yuuuraaa

[PT: omori tumblr layout. editfight attack on castodust. reblog and like to use. 24 points I believe. taglist. /End PT.]

[omo321]

a purity

[dedmm]

[sleupracceupies]

Angsty/sad ghost Mari and Sunny sibling hug. 😢

they pain me so bad

[naitoshi]

[lunnitavaldez]

my baby my baby 😭

[quonit]

Kind of funny he has a much more detailed portrait than any of the other characters. Sure wonder why that might be. It couldn't be... intentional symbolism...? No, in my Omori? Impossible.

[sophislover]

Btw men liking lesbian porn isn’t acceptance of lesbians. It’s fetishization.

Men only like watching two women go at it because they can imagine themselves fucking both of them at the same time. But when they encounter a real lesbian couple who isn’t hidden behind a phone screen and an orange and black logo. They face the reality that these women do not want to fuck them, let alone allow this said man to have a threesome with them. And do you know what happens when men face this reality? They get angry. They spout slurs at them. Act like they never wanted it in the first place. And if the man is angry enough, sometimes those two women don’t make it out alive.

The concept of lesbians being more accepted than any other queer person just because MEN watch lesbians porn. Is a result of casual misogyny and lesbophobia.

Anyways..