Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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★
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@anonymousastronomer
me: why are you destroying earth!!!
aliens: because theres people who think that english is the only language they need to speak
me: thats fair i understand
For some reason I find this all the more amusing because it’s written in English
moi: pourquoi vous détruisez le monde!!! l'extraterrestre: parce que il y a des gens qui pensent que l'anglais est le seule langue pour parler moi: ah ça c'est bien
ich: warum zerstört ihr die erde!!!
aliens: weil es leute gibt die glauben dass englisch die einzige sprache ist die sie sprechen müssen
ich: das ist fair ich verstehe
ég: af hverju eyðileggið þið jörðina!!! aliens: af því að það er fólk sem finnst að enska sé sú eina tungumál sem þau þurfa að tala ég: oh, það er vit í þessu. ég skil.
ik: waarom vernietig je de aarde!!!
aliens: omdat er mensen zijn die denken dat engels de enige taal is die ze hoeven te spreken
ik: oh zo, ik snap het
minä: miks te tuhootte maapalloo?
alienit: koska tääl on ihmisiä joitten mielestä englanti on ainoo kieli jota niitten täytyy puhua
minä: toi on reilua, ymmärrän
私: どうして地球を滅ぼしているんですか?
宇宙人: 英語しか喋る必要がないと思う人がいるからです
私: なるほど、わかりました
me: Wosück maakt ji de Welt twei!!!
aliens: wieldat dat Lüüd gifft, de dinkt dat Engelsch de allenige Spraak weer, de een snacken mütt
me: jo, daar seggst wat. Nu versta ik’t
aniga: dhulka maxaad u burburinaya !!!
shisheeyaha: dadka intiisa badani u malaynayaan in Ingiriisidu tahay afka oo kaliya ay u baahan yihiin inay la hadlaan
aniga: waxaan fahamsanahay. waa wax cadaalad
我:你们为什么在毁灭地球?!!
外星人:因为有人以为他们只会英语就可以了
我:懂了,说得有道理
ako: bakit niyo sinisira ang mundo!!!
taga-ibang planeta: kasi merong mga taong akala nila Ingles lang ang kailangan nilang matutunang lenggwahe
ako: ah, sige naiintindihan ko
Aku : kenapa kau hancurkan bumi!!! Alien : karena masih banyak orang berpikir hanya bahasa inggris satu-satunya bahasa yang terpenting Aku : oh, oke lah..
tôi: tại sao các người hủy diệt trái đất!!! người ngoài hành tinh: bởi vì có người nghĩ rằng tiếng Anh là thứ tiếng duy nhất mà họ cần biết tôi: ồ thế thì tôi hiểu
Eu: Por que vocês estão destruindo a Terra?! Aliens: Porque há pessoas que pensam que o inglês é a única língua que eles precisam falar. Eu: Isso é justo, eu entendo.
jag: varför förintar ni jorden!!!
utomjordingar: för det finns folk som tror att engelska är det ända språket de behöver kunna
jag: rimligt, jag förstår
Já: Proč ničíte Zemi?
Mimozemšťani: Protože tu jsou lidé, kteří si myslí, že angličtina je jediný jazyk, který potřebují znát
Já: To je fér, to chápu.
ja: dlaczego niszczycie Ziemię?
kosmici: ponieważ są ludzie, którzy myślą, że angielski to jedyny język, którego potrzebuję
ja: rozumiem, w porządku
io: perchè state distruggendo la terra!!!
alieni: perchè ci sono delle persone che credono che l’inglese sia l’unica lingua di cui hanno bisogno
io: capisco, mi sembra giusto
Yo: porqué estás destruyendo la tierra!?!?
Extraterrestre: porque hay personas quienes creen que inglés es la única lengua que se tiene que hablar.
Yo: te entiendo, es justo.
Я: Почему вы уничтожаете Землю?!?! Инопланетяне: Потому что есть люди, которые считают, что им нужно говорить только по-английски. Я: А, ну понятно, тогда ладно!
A modern Rosetta stone.
Eu: porque estás a destruir a Terra?
Extraterrestre: porque há pessoas que acreditam que inglês é a única língua que eles precisam para falar
Eu: eu entendo, é justo
Jeg: hvorfor ødelegger du jorden?!?!
Romvesener: fordi det er noen som tror at engelsk er det eneste språk de trenger å snakke
Jeg: åh, jeg kjenner
أنا : لماذا تدمر الأرض؟
الفضائي : لأن هناك أناس يظنون أن الإنكليزية هي اللغة الوحيدة التي عليهم أن يتقنوها.
أنا : آه انت على حق على ما أعتقد..
ugh how the fuck do you cover letter
Greetings, Exalted One. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Luke Skywalker, Jedi Knight and friend to Captain Solo.
I know that you are powerful, mighty Jabba, and that your anger with Solo must be equally powerful. I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.
With your wisdom, I’m sure that we can work out an arrangement which will be mutually beneficial and enable us to avoid any unpleasant confrontation.
As a token of my goodwill, I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.
Polite greeting (Greetings, Exalted One)
Self-Introduction (I am Luke Skywalker)
Establish Credentials (Jedi Knight)
Explain how you learned of this opportunity (Friend to Captain Solo)
Establish Purpose (I seek an audience with Your Greatness to bargain for Solo’s life.)
Show what you can bring to the organization ( I present to you a gift: these two droids. Both are hardworking and will serve you well.)
This actually maps really well.
make a dragon wanna retire man
I’m so mad
AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR (2018)
A reminder for the girls with big plans
To all the girls with big dreams, who have been told that they are ‘too preoccupied with success’, or that they are ‘too selfish’ or ‘too ambitious’ - do not listen to the people who speak those words. If you love something that much, and will pursue it to the ends of the earth, do not give it up for anyone. Hold it close to your heart and understand that you are not obligated to dim your sparkle for anybody. In your life, there will always be people who tell you that you are too much or too little. They will say a woman is too assertive, or too reserved. They will say she feels too little or too much, that ambition is selfish. They may even be hurt or offended that you do not think the same. Yet at the end of the day, know in your heart that you are the only one who will ever know whether you are truly enough and that is what’s important. Go out there and smash the glass ceiling to pieces.
“I change when I walk out on stage. I totally transform into this ultimate showman. I say that because that’s what I must be. I can’t be second best, I would rather give up. I know I have to strut. I know I have to hold the mic stand a certain way. And I love it.”
- Freddie Mercury
ALL 👏🏾 OF 👏🏾 THEM 👏🏾
This post goes harder than any post has ever gone before.
the sheer amount of Fucks Not Given in these photos is creating a Black Hole Of Ungiven Fucks, sucking in all the bullshit over the Fuck You event horizon and trapping it so the bullshit can’t escape. It’s gorgeous.
for the anon :) hope you’re doing well❤
more on my instagram @matialonsor
How Long?
Til’ the world itself falls into chaos;
Til’ the Sun rises in the west and sets in the east,
Til’ the wolves stop howling at the Moon,
Til’ the ocean tides rise and fall no more,
Til’ the win stills and the Earth is quiet,
Til’ the trees bend over from age,
Til’ the forever darkness descends, and Winter is all we know,
Til’ the stars in the night sky blink slowly out,
Til’ the Universe itself starts crumbling,
Til’ our eyes close for the last time,
Til’ the last breath catches our lips,
Til’ we return to the dust from whence we came
And for an eternity thereafter
Will I still love you.
Odyssey
(Inspired by the song of the same name by Talos)
A humanoid figure
with lithe limbs
simply a silhouette
arms cupped in front of its face
head cocked to one side
legs forming a triangle with one extended hypotenuse
on pointe as if a ballerina
hovering nonsubmersively
over the surface of a muted body of water
that flows into and out of infinity
Its eyes drip with pure light
forming stars
and it’s warm breath billows dark clouds
The only sign of it’s presence
being the out-of-place ethereal glow
casting a void mirage amongst the inky violet darkness
In its palms
a galaxy of stars
swirling amongst banks of charcoal clouds of gas
sparkling like flecks of colourless glitter catching the sunrise
in balls of wispy dyed cotton
As time elapses
the galaxy swirls
forced into motion by its heavy core:
a supermassive blackhole
commanding enough to alter the heavens
At first
just a gradual nudge
but developing and accelerating
tearing the stars apart
stretching and deforming them
like a child with play-dough
sucking them into oblivion
The charcoal wisps
standing no chance
are teased apart
like strands of spider silk
hovering in the wind
The galaxy
Shredding apart
Accelerating destruction
Chaotic beauty
And the figure
the source of this awesome abolition
breathing life into its cupped hands
feeding the ravaging storm
But as the storm evolves
so the being diminishes
giving of its life force
to birth that which is to come
Slowly, slowly
it’s breaths become weaker and weaker
Until
a silent vacuum of air
inhales everything inward
The greedy beast at the galaxy’s centre
has devoured its fill
No more are the dark swirls
No more are the intermittent flecks
Nought but a void
and a swirling invisible mass
——————————————
A bloom of pure light
emanating energy
holding the weight of existence and life
exploding into the willowy darkness of gas
cupped in an astronomical hand
A single tear
gashing a blazing hot path into a faceless head:
a single star to start a galaxy
dropping into banks of charcoal puffs of breath
as it all starts again.
Black Panther (2018) dir. Ryan Coogler
#me trying to maintain positive attitude while life keeps bringing me down
In Time...
Stay Wild 🖤
.·:*°you taught me the courage
of stars before you left
how light carries on endlessly
even after death
with shortness of breath
i’ll explain the infinite
how rare and beautiful it truly is
that we exist°*:·.
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